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Oh look, the 13 year-old MySpace chick is trying to be a big mythical girl. We'll settle this on your level (dwarfishly). Let's have a spelling bee! You win, you get an extra half-hour nap on your mat.

Once I laughed so hard while my ex-wife was licking my ass. I laughed because I farted in her face while she was tonguing my sh!tter. One of my fondest married moments.

No previous suggestion rivals these two: Over the road truck driver (long-haul not short-haul) or serial murderer. I manage a fleet of 200 tractors for 12 hours overnights. Best way to sum up team truck drivers: One perpetually rolling, drama-filled, swingers convention.

Youngblood Cr1mson is right. It's unrealistic, and unrealistically impossible, to live a satisfying solitary life. Unless you fvck camels and hide out in a cave, you're natural instinct is to crave human affection and attention. There's also a strong natural urge to share your experiences...

Hob(b)its do. And their dirtchutes gape. A Hob(b)it is your standard and you're going to advise other people about theirs?

Since when do Hob(b)its complain when they get other Dwarves' leftovers?

If her breath smells like a Kangaroo just did a round of Tae-Bo in her throat, I'm out.

From the mouth of a 13 year-old MySpace chick.

Being ambitious will fuel your desires. First, set realistic short-term goals (6-12 months tops). Second, Do one thing everyday which pushes you towards fullfilling that goal. Stop listening to gangsta rap (if you do) or anything which muddies your head with negativity and bullsh!t. Fill your...

You're to gain 50 pounds for being a grammatical idiot, or just for being an idiot?

Brother, this is truly a brilliant little gem. You keep posting like this you'll be added to my very, VERY, short list of posters I read regularly. Well done.

I'ms gonnas talks likes Toki's froms Dethkloks: "What's the fvcks ares yous sayings?"

My goodness. What a bleeding vag you must have to get all huffed and puffed like this. You know who else gets all tough girl angsty like you are? 13 year-old MySpace chicks. How about you plug your vag, then go play hide and go fvck yourself lady. If you add up all of your little green dots...

A virtual apology is as worthwhile as a boil on BackBreaker's ass.

One of my go-to books is William Barrett's: Irrational Man. The most concise tome of rational Existentialist thought I've ever read. It singlehandedly changed my perspective. You want your head spinned around through the immense power of storytelling? Follow Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey...

Yes we do. A good whiskey and a smoke would certainly hit the spot.

"You see the problem doesn't lie with his small penis... ...but rather, with YOUR big vagina (make sure the tone lingers in echo)."

Specify. Dots or feathers?

Nah. You complain too much to be cool. It would help make you less of a cvnt though.

There's only enough room in this place for one of me. BackBreaker is more and more coming off as a bit weird. I like the guy and usually his posts are somewhat concise and have a point. This isn't one of them. Thumper, if you want to pick a scab, I'd find someone a bit less dependent...