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Is self-improvement really all that necessary?

ocho_da_musician

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The only thing here to explain is that, in your little brain, you're focused on getting sex, you're an extremely thirsty guy who is looking for a cheat code to get what you most desire in live "sex". Wrong approach my friend.
"little brain"????? Alright y'all I'm done. Good day
 

BadBoy89

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The point of self improvement isn’t to get “hot babes”, the point of self improvement is to be the best man you can be The hot girl just comes along for ride.

Too many men make getting the girl the end all and be all. Remember men, girls are the icing on the cake: They are not the cake.

If a man lives a rich and full life, dresses well, takes care of himself, provides value to the world, the girls will come around. Hot girls want to connect with strong powerful men, They don’t want to connect with weak beta minded men.

Come on men, don’t he stupid to think you can live in a basement and be successful. How far would ciivilzation come if all men thought like that?
 

BackInTheGame78

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If you aren't willing to improve yourself you are going nowhere with women or in life.

Tha basis for becoming a man with purpose in life is constant self-improvement.

A man without purpose in life is going to live a lowly existence.
 
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Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BaronOfHair

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But are there not unemployed dudes sitting around drinking beer and watching TV all day and still receiving oral sex from hot babes?
Yeah: They're 80something year old 1%ers, who've got an escort service run by The Serbian Mob on retainer, who sends them 18 year olds who've been kidnapped off the streets of Minsk and Bangkok on a daily basis

Just like the rest of us though, you're not a 1%er, and likely never will be, hoss... Be prepared to put in the effort, like the other 99% of the male population
 
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BaronOfHair

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Come on men, don’t he stupid to think you can live in a basement and be successful. How far would ciivilzation come if all men thought like that?
Just as Wokeness-and it's predeccesors in The 70s and 80s-misled many non-whites, gays, and women into thinking "Society is inherently Patriarchal/White Supremacist/Heteronormative, therefore I'm entitled to

-Go through life a hood rat, terrorizing everyone on the subway and being disruptive in the middle of a movie theater or a comedy show

-Walk into Baltaire wearing assless chaps and a leather vest with no shirt underneath


-Blow myself up to Andrea Dworkinish proportions, stop shaving my underarms, dress in nothing but Goodwill wear

And everybody just needs to accept me, no matter how objectively grotesque I am"


Large segments of The Manosphere conned many men into thinking: "Gynocentrism is baked into the foundations of society, therefore I'm entitled to

-Spend 98% of my free time in the comments section of YouTube, taking the piss out of Disney for ruining my childhood, even though I'm not physically a child, and intellectually recognize that folks like Rigby http://johnbrownnotesandessays.blogspot.com/2016/03/no-self-respecting-adult-should-buy.html?m=1 and Linker https://theweek.com/articles/595463/how-america-became-obsessed-star-wars-other-childish-things are right on the money


-Subsist off a diet Twinkies and Hot Pockets, until my gunt is 10 times the size of that sported by the likes of Carl Benjamin, Matt Jarbo, and Paul Elam combined

-Walk around town dressed in cartoon Ts and cargo shorts

And the check-out girl at Walmart and the waiter at Outback should still smile at me/go the extra mile in terms of service. Even though I've essentially gone out of my way to flip the rest of the human race the bird, smirk, then taunt "Whatcha gonna do about it now?"
 

BackInTheGame78

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No, I have no problem with self-improvement. I'm just having a hard time buying into the idea that it's guaranteed to increase your lay count. I ain't gonna lie, you guys seem pretty hostile on this forum, not sure if I'm gonna stick around fr
Life doesn't come with guarantees. With women or anything else. You aren't even guaranteed to wake up tomorrow morning when you go to sleep tonight.

The probability is that self improvement will because that's how life typically works...successful people are sought after by women due to many factors but the confidence they have in themselves is one of the biggest ones.

However the issue you seem to have is that your focus is on the wrong thing. You want some magic shortcut to get women without having any basis for getting them.

Once again, I will tell you that in life you don't usually get what you want, you get what you have earned.

If we are talking about where you are in terms of the best version of you that you could be versus the version of you now on a 0-100 scale, based on what you have posted, I would probably put you at somewhere around a 10-15 out of a 100.

Essentially what I am saying is that you are far closer to the bottom than you are to the top and that you have a lot of room for improvement and growth, in pretty much every area.

That's up to you as a man to take to heart and want to do. Not for women, for yourself. Attracting women is simply a byproduct of you ramping up your "improved self" towards your maximum potential. You will naturally start displaying things and acting in ways that are attractive to women as you start moving higher and higher on that scale. It may not make sense to you but that's how it works.

However, you were talking about how you worked a fast food job before and "had some money". Bro...that's not money. That's a very low bar and standard to have for yourself. Part of the issue as I am seeing is that your standard for what you find acceptable for yourself is very low and until you start holding yourself to higher standards you are going to have trouble progressing much, if at all.

If you consider having a minimum wage job as acceptable in terms of being financially successful, that's a major problem.

You are a grown man.

The following should be bare minimum goals for yourself to have:

1) Own place to live in a decent area
2) Own car that is decent
3) Job/Career paying a minimum of 60K a year(more if you live in an expensive area of the country or a big city).

These are just the bare minimum, this isn't anything special. This is just you heading down the right path.

As a 20 year old, that is something you should be shooting for by the time you are 24 or 25 at the latest. Regardless of where you are now these are very achievable by the time you hit 25. It's all determined by how driven and focused you are on achieving them.

So that means if you are falling short of this right now, you need to determine what changes in your life you need to make starting now to get you headed towards those so that within 4-5 years you are on track with that. If you are making choices in your life that don't align towards those, then you need to start making better life choices for yourself.

Goals are an important part of that because of you have no goals you are working towards in your life, you aren't likely to be very far.
 
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Vanderdonck

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But are there not unemployed dudes sitting around drinking beer and watching TV all day and still receiving oral sex from hot babes?
No there are not. Maybe these guys can get occasional BJs but the women connected to the lips involved are not going to be "hot." Thread started on false premise.
 

Skyline

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Online you're gonna see a lot of advice like "focus on yourself bro", get hobbies, interests, dress nice, make money, blah blah blah. But are there not unemployed dudes sitting around drinking beer and watching TV all day and still receiving oral sex from hot babes? And are there still not dudes with multiple degrees, speaking multiple languages, great fashion sense, living at their own place, great social circle, great physique etc. who get no matches on Tinder? Explain this
The issue is that you have no idea if those two people are attractive to begin with when you hear those stories. Plenty of low quality people date each other regardless of looks.

The “successful” guys you listed are usually socially stupid and or have bad political allegiances. Or they’re overweight alcoholics.

Focus on yourself instead of undesirable people like that.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Manure Spherian

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Spend 98% of my free time in the comments section of YouTube, taking the piss out of Disney for ruining my childhood, even though I'm not physically a child, and intellectually recognize that folks like Rigby http://johnbrownnotesandessays.blogspot.com/2016/03/no-self-respecting-adult-should-buy.html?m=1 and Linker https://theweek.com/articles/595463/how-america-became-obsessed-star-wars-other-childish-things are right on the money


-Subsist off a diet Twinkies and Hot Pockets, until my gunt is 10 times the size of that sported by the likes of Carl Benjamin, Matt Jarbo, and Paul Elam combined

-Walk around town dressed in cartoon Ts and cargo shorts

And the check-out girl at Walmart and the waiter at Outback should still smile at me/go the extra mile in terms of service. Even though I've essentially gone out of my way to flip the rest of the human race the bird, smirk, then taunt "Whatcha gonna do about it now?"
I’m gonna ask this again: Where the hell are such men? If they exist in large numbers, they spend much of their time indoors because I cannot count ONE bummy guy in cartoon T’s and cargo shorts walking around town!

What percentage of the male population do you think fits your descriptions?
"Gynocentrism is baked into the foundations of society,
It is. That goes for all of our major institutions.
 

Travel memoir21

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Yes by all means improve.

But you also need to cultivate a Great Inner Dialogue and Inner Peace within yourself. Other wise, look at all these celebrities or so called ' successful people' who seems to have it all yet they become drug addicts, alcoholics and go into these abusive relationships with the wrong people.

This where practices like Meditation, prayer and having goals that surpasses your egotistical and selfish desires comes in. You must have goals that strives to the betterment of society and people and to the community around you. You must be a servant to the Public and to the people.

Go out there and go help out a homeless shelter. Go out and preach God Consciousness to a person in Prison or hospital. Go to a Church and mosque and ask them to help you set up a Food Pot luck and acoustic guitar session with the poor and homeless in the streets. These are just some examples.

So implement this hollistic, spiritual approach with weight lifting, yoga, brisk walking, having a financial education and setting up your own business, working remote, semen retention and an okay social life, and you'll be one content man.
 

BillyPilgrim

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If you aren't willing to improve yourself you are going nowhere with women or in life.

Tha basis for becoming a man with purpose in life is constant self-improvement.

A man without purpose in life is going to live a lowly existence.
The purpose comes *before* the constant self-improvement.

Between this thread and the other, it seems you take constructive criticism personally.

I shudder to think how you react to a rejection.
Shuddering? What does it matter what OP does?

Y'all are taking this too seriously. Self improvement is something done in support of your own goals, not something done for its own sake or something that involves being affected by other people.
 

maturin

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No, I have no problem with self-improvement. I'm just having a hard time buying into the idea that it's guaranteed to increase your lay count. I ain't gonna lie, you guys seem pretty hostile on this forum, not sure if I'm gonna stick around fr
Your right. It's not guaranteed that attractive babes will suddenly find some normie who mostly struggled all of a sudden slotted into the lover category with a revolving door of naked hottieesss. No girl responds emotionally to Bill who just pulled a chemistry MA from yale and holds a mathematics degree as well. This however raises interest in Bill's qualifications as a stable provider. It's all about the lover /provider dichotomy.

Most of the build excellence gurus (cooper) are for the most part promoting the building of the resume to be considered as husband material. Guys who check off a bunch of boxes after the girl does the math in her head. These guys are interchangeable and based mostly on qualifications. Looks and other turn on qualities get demphasized in favor of corresponding resources, malability, buying a car, building the dream house, nice allowance, allowing the mother in law to move in, etc... These things compensate for the diminished lover qualities. More nice guy qualities. Most married men fall into this group of good enough. A good example is michael kay.

For a lot of these guys they could have never landed with their wives 10 years earlier or when the wife was in her prime. These are the backups. Men were unaware that women operated like this until recently and thanks to the internet. What clergyman is going to be honest about this. This is dangerous for men. If he's too nice, will do anything to please the wife, is an insufferable BPer, he risks being detested, disrespected and being converted into a plow horse.

Even that hot shot driving the lambo is sending a provider message that melady you shall be showered with material luxury. This is one of the chumpiest mistakes for some pudgy accountant or dr. to make.
 

BillyPilgrim

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OP the only instant cheat codes are traveling to a better sexual marketplace or getting an escort to wash the thirst away. Women can pick up on vibe and aura and sexual thirst/lack of abundance will bleed into them. Otherwise work on your style, physique, and charisma (i.e., "game") in the short term and career/money/social circle stuff in the longer term. But you want to focus on the shorter term stuff first and only kill yourself for the longer term stuff once you're sure what you want out of life.
 

BackInTheGame78

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OP the only instant cheat codes are traveling to a better sexual marketplace or getting an escort to wash the thirst away. Women can pick up on vibe and aura and sexual thirst/lack of abundance will bleed into them. Otherwise work on your style, physique, and charisma (i.e., "game") in the short term and career/money/social circle stuff in the longer term. But you want to focus on the shorter term stuff first and only kill yourself for the longer term stuff once you're sure what you want out of life.
The problem these days is all too often men want nothing out of life and are just happy to skate by with as little work as possible.

Ambition is a thing of the past largely.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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Self improvements..

1. Physical (fit and in shape)
2. Mental (confident, no stress, peace of mind)
3. Finances (stable income)
4. Career and education (geared towards #3).

These are things a man should thrived towards, just on the strength of being a man, in general.

No women considered.

As someone else said, a lot of variables, but since my emphasis is on body game and I'm not looking for monogamy; my focus is primarily on self improvement #1 and #2.

I want to get to a point where a woman finds me physically attractive and sexually appealing, regardless of my #3 & #4.
 

The_Sea_Wolf

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Part of working on yourself is building your self confidence.

Women find confidence sexy as hell, a loser who is cool with being a loser has confidence because he aspires to be nothing else.

Yet, when confronted with the choice of a man who has his **** together and an amazing life, who is very confident in himself between that and the loser, a woman will always pick the man who is not the loser unless she has serious self esteem issues and feels like the man who has it together is out of her league.
 

Serenity

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But are there not unemployed dudes sitting around drinking beer and watching TV all day and still receiving oral sex from hot babes?
No there aren't or they're at least exceedingly rare. If there is a woman involved in that at all she's certainly not a hot babe.

And are there still not dudes with multiple degrees, speaking multiple languages, great fashion sense, living at their own place, great social circle, great physique etc. who get no matches on Tinder?
There are because none of these features matters if the guy has some fatal character flaw that he's likely not even aware of which puts off women across the board.

I want to dig into social circle in particular because usually it is indeed a good indicator of being a guy who's valued. What's going on when a guy can have a bunch of good friends, but fails with women is that there's a difference in intimacy. Being with a woman is more intimate than hanging out with any guys. If the man has any issues regarding intimacy then it could lead to a lot of trouble getting and keeping a woman interested, but might not affect friendships at all because they're not close enough to ever trigger that vulnerability.

Great physique is also nice, but that's a "foot in the door" type of thing. If you don't have the strength of character to match then she's gonna lose interest rapidly. Obviously a good looking dude is gonna get matches, but matches are worth nothing regardless of volume if none of them ever materialize because his character is fvcked up.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

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