Harsh Truth: Women pursue the men that they want

[GoodMan32]

This was something that really took off with the Millennial generation when women started thinking they were special snowflakes from their participation trophies that started in the 1990s. This entitled attitude combined with abundance from tech methods led to a lot of this behavior.

The "nexting" thing is yet another catch 22.

"Nexting" certainly appears to be a common trend.

But at the same time, plenty of men manage to keep a Millennial/Gen Z woman. Which begs the question of how they manage to avoid the "nexting." Surely they've committed offenses the typical Millennial/Gen Z woman thinks are worthy of a "nexting"

 

[SW15]

But at the same time, plenty of men manage to keep a Millennial/Gen Z woman. Which begs the question of how they manage to avoid the "nexting." Surely they've committed offenses the typical Millennial/Gen Z woman thinks are worthy of a "nexting"

It's some combination of looks, money, status, and personality that will keep a woman around for a longer period of time.

Usually looks but sometimes money is the leading factor of the 4.

 

[GoodMan32]

It's some combination of looks, money, status, and personality that will keep a woman around for a longer period of time.

Usually looks but sometimes money is the leading factor of the 4.

I don't doubt that looks and money can play a major role.

That being said, there are male coworkers with neither of those things who manage to hold onto Millennial/Gen Z gals.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

No, as @SW15 indicated on his post, a man approaching a woman wasn't really a thing until some time in the 20th century.

Here's my takeaway: Since a man approaching a woman is a relatively new trend (in the grand scheme of history/evolution), it's unnatural. That's why the current culture of a man approaching a woman leads to a lot of bitterness on both sides (men are bitter we need to approach, the ladies are bitter about getting approached...because of course they only want to get approached by Chad or Tyrone)

Some of the ideas I've proposed (about striving for a societal shift where a man no longer has to approach a woman) on the forum sound far-fetched...but at least I have history on my side. For the vast majority of history, a man didn't really have to approach a woman.

i like to believe there is a lot of truth to that, because, if men approaching women is meant to be the natural order of things, then there would be no such thing as approach anxiety and plus, equally a good point, so many women would not have their guard up or feel awkward, uncomfortable, when men approach/make advances on them, or that it would be impossible for men to get labeled creepy/weird when approaching or making advances on women.

Anyway, interesting discussion, but nevertheless, men will more than likely always be stuck with this whether they like it or not

 

[tksniper]

Fear of missing out is actually greater than desire. You see this when it comes to investing and "fomo'ing". The best way to have women chasing after you is to have other women.

AS men, we don't know ANYTHING about being seduced or pursued until we've had social proof and multiple options competing for us. That girl smiling at you is not pursuing you. She's just giving you a window to pursue HER.

Giving guys an opportunity to pursue them is most women's default mode....Until competition/social proof/scarcity comes into play. Then they become aggressive.

 

[GoodMan32]

Fear of missing out is actually greater than desire. You see this when it comes to investing and "fomo'ing". The best way to have women chasing after you is to have other women.

AS men, we don't know ANYTHING about being seduced or pursued until we've had social proof and multiple options competing for us. That girl smiling at you is not pursuing you. She's just giving you a window to pursue HER.

Giving guys an opportunity to pursue them is most women's default mode....Until competition/social proof/scarcity comes into play. Then they become aggressive.

As true as what you're saying is, the truth sucks.

It's basically impossible for me to tell the difference between mere niceness vs a woman giving me a cue to pursue her.

Since I don't want to humiliate myself by mistaking niceness for interest, I refrain from making a move. I could kick myself when I think of all the possible opportunities I probably let slip away through the years because of my fear of mistaking niceness for interest.

 

[jhonny9546]

@RangerMIke Courtney Ryan is a flight risk for Teddy Baldassarre.

Hey men this is a valid example. But how could you say that 100%?
Women are so strange this might be the men she's for.
She could have other 10 men secretly banging her. Who knows? We surely dont

 

[Hamurabimbi]

No, as @SW15 indicated on his post, a man approaching a woman wasn't really a thing until some time in the 20th century.

Here's my takeaway: Since a man approaching a woman is a relatively new trend (in the grand scheme of history/evolution), it's unnatural. That's why the current culture of a man approaching a woman leads to a lot of bitterness on both sides (men are bitter we need to approach, the ladies are bitter about getting approached...because of course they only want to get approached by Chad or Tyrone)

Some of the ideas I've proposed (about striving for a societal shift where a man no longer has to approach a woman) on the forum sound far-fetched...but at least I have history on my side. For the vast majority of history, a man didn't really have to approach a woman.

Casanova, in the 1700's, was well know for approaching and seducing women.

 

[GoodMan32]

Casanova, in the 1700's, was well know for approaching and seducing women.

Casanova was the exception; not the norm.

 

[GoodMan32]

This was something that really took off with the Millennial generation when women started thinking they were special snowflakes from their participation trophies that started in the 1990s. This entitled attitude combined with abundance from tech methods led to a lot of this behavior.

On the topic of a woman nexting a man, here's something I just thought of that doesn't make sense.

Even though a woman will next a man for the most trivial reasons, the typical woman acts devastated when a man dumps her.

Umm, pot, meet kettle.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Casanova was the exception; not the norm.

How about Chivalry. In the late Middle Ages. Men perusing women.

 

[SW15]

Casanova, in the 1700's, was well know for approaching and seducing women.

Casanova was the exception; not the norm.

Casanova was able to put up around a 120-135 notch count in a world with a smaller population, less of a stranger approach culture, and more difficult world travel.

Even though a woman will next a man for the most trivial reasons, the typical woman acts devastated when a man dumps her.

Women can soon get over that devastation when they realize their abundance of options.

If she fails to get the commitment of an alpha tier man or an alpha tier man dumps her in some committed relationships, this is something that bothers her.

She is likely to be less bothered if a beta dumps her in an LTR. Chances are that she was thinking about leaving anyway.

 

[Solomon]

Your problems are beyond the scope of this forum.
Again. Seek professional help.
Nothing more we can do for you.

I’m out.
Goodbye.

This is the problem with most guys here it's not because they are ugly or broke, most guys have pisspoor mindsets due to trauma, mental illness or some personality disorder. I highly recommend professional help as well, LMS is not going to help those guys, it's an internal problem that needs to be worked out with professional help

 

[GoodMan32]

Casanova was able to put up around a 120-135 notch count in a world with a smaller population, less of a stranger approach culture, and more difficult world travel.



Women can soon get over that devastation when they realize their abundance of options.

If she fails to get the commitment of an alpha tier man or an alpha tier man dumps her in some committed relationships, this is something that bothers her.

She is likely to be less bothered if a beta dumps her in an LTR. Chances are that she was thinking about leaving anyway.

The woman I had an 8 month relationship with shortly after college was devastated when I dumped her.

The woman I invited for a 3 day weekend at my place when I was 21, only to dump her before the end of day 1, was devastated too (she immediately cried)

 

[Hamurabimbi]

This is the problem with most guys here it's not because they are ugly or broke, most guys have pisspoor mindsets due to trauma, mental illness or some personality disorder. I highly recommend professional help as well, LMS is not going to help those guys, it's an internal problem that needs to be worked out with professional help

Most of the incels I know are mentalcels. They are not ugly.

 

[GoodMan32]

Most of the incels I know are mentalcels. They are not ugly.

Some might say I'm a mentalcel (in other words, the repulsion the ladies feel toward me is all in my head)

The fact my rejection rate is over 90% proves it's not all in my head.

Hell, even beyond rejection, the ladies are repulsed by me. Today a woman pulled her shirt down (to cover her backside) because I was behind her.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Some might say I'm a mentalcel (in other words, the repulsion the ladies feel toward me is all in my head)

The fact my rejection rate is over 90% proves it's not all in my head.

Hell, even beyond rejection, the ladies are repulsed by me. Today a woman pulled her shirt down (to cover her backside) because I was behind her.

Doesn’t mean Ugly. Maybe you were (or she perceived) you were ogling her.

Doesn’t really mean anything. I was looking at a girl at work. She covered up her breasts more. However. we eventually had sfx.
So I doubt I creeped her out.

 

[Solomon]

Most of the incels I know are mentalcels. They are not ugly.

Yet these guys swear it's because they are ugly, broke or have no status, no most incels are average guys with entitled whiny insufferable personalities that make women not want to be with them and other men not wanna hang out with them. Elliot Rodger is a perfect example of that. A whiny prissy entitled insufferable dweeb who felt he should get hot women because he came from a rich family. However, Rodger was an awkward mentally ill person who needed intensive therapy. He saw the world through a delusional lense and no amount of money, no amount of status would have helped him

A lot of men have boring personalities, no charm, no charisma, no sense of humor these things can and will get you far with women. Incels just don't have the "IT" factor so they try to reduce game to an algorithm also known as LMS

 

[Solomon]

Some might say I'm a mentalcel (in other words, the repulsion the ladies feel toward me is all in my head)

The fact my rejection rate is over 90% proves it's not all in my head.

Hell, even beyond rejection, the ladies are repulsed by me. Today a woman pulled her shirt down (to cover her backside) because I was behind her.

Guess what my rejection rate was 98% infield, a terrible rate, I didn't let that stop me, I busted my ass did 3,000 approaches in 4 years form 2008-2012. Most men in 2025 wouldn't put the work in. I guarantee you haven't been rejected over 2,000 times, when you hit 1,000 then talk to me about how tough it is and it all "being not in your head"

 

[GoodMan32]

Yet these guys swear it's because they are ugly, broke or have no status, no most incels are average guys with entitled whiny insufferable personalities that make women not want to be with them and other men not wanna hang out with them. Elliot Rodger is a perfect example of that. A whiny prissy entitled insufferable dweeb who felt he should get hot women because he came from a rich family. However, Rodger was an awkward mentally ill person who needed intensive therapy. He saw the world through a delusional lense and no amount of money, no amount of status would have helped him

A lot of men have boring personalities, no charm, no charisma, no sense of humor these things can and will get you far with women. Incels just don't have the "IT" factor so they try to reduce game to an algorithm also known as LMS

Elliott Rodger was at his peak sex drive (early 20s), yet had a crippling social phobia preventing him from approaching a woman. I can relate, as I also have crippling social phobia (his social phobia was even more crippling than mine). Even though I managed to get laid, my early 20s were miserable (because I was at my peak sex drive, yet lacked the social grace to get consistent sex). The memory of how miserable my early 20s were makes me sympathize with Elliott's plight.

Until you've suffered from crippling social phobia, you're really in no position to judge Elliott.

He didn't feel "entitled" to get hotties just because his family was wealthy. For one, in addition to coming from a wealthy family, he also had good looks. Yet, being immersed in a college environment, he had to watch uglier dudes from less affluent families get laid. He had every right to be pissed off. Being pissed off at that is a natural reaction; not "entitlement"

Even though I'd never go on a rampage like Elliott Rodger did, I see a lot of myself in him.

In addition to my crippling social phobia, I also come from a wealthy family, have good looks, yet struggle with the ladies.

Furthermore, both Elliott and I were bullied in our youth for being small and socially awkward.

Lastly, Elliott was insecure about being racially mixed, just like me (Even though my ancestry comes entirely from Europe, I'm insecure about the fact I'm a mix of Northern Europe and Mediterranean Europe)