Harsh Truth: Women pursue the men that they want

[Mike32ct]

Shockingly, I learned the term broad when I was in high school (circa 2007) from another then-student.

Yeah I learned that term from my mom, a boomer. On here, I often use the term “chick” which is also very outdated to be fair lol.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Yeah I learned that term from my mom, a boomer. On here, I often use the term “chick” which is also very outdated to be fair lol.

The way men speak about women reveals their attitude.

 

[GoodMan32]

Yeah I learned that term from my mom, a boomer. On here, I often use the term “chick” which is also very outdated to be fair lol.

I remember the term chick was commonly used when I was in middle school through college.

Not a whole lot anymore.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I remember the term chick was commonly used when I was in middle school through college.

Not a whole lot anymore.

I wrote an answer on Quora why it's not a good idea to refer to women as 'chicks'. And if you check the comments under the answer, you see that many women do not like to be called 'chicks' or 'babe'. And 'broads' is a term from fifties PI movies. You might as well show how antiquated you are by referring to a woman as a 'moll' or 'dame'.

 

[jhonny9546]

What about those women who are totally invested in a man at the beginning and continue to show that level of investment even 20 years after the LTR with that same man, even if he is nothing special in his SMV?

There's also the phenomenon discussed on the subreddit r/GirlsMirin. Does this resemble Oneitis, but from a woman perspective?

This happened once in my life with a woman whom I unfortunately did not want to be with. The LTR lasted two years, and she still showed interest in me for five years after we broke up. She is a 7 and stayed single for about one year after we broke up, even though she had many requests from other guys.

This would be interesting to look into.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The romanticized notion of tirelessly pursuing the girl of your dreams, as portrayed in Hollywood and popular culture, often falls short of reality. Instead, men would benefit from prioritizing maintaining attraction.

That, or fork over a chunk of change on a van, stun gun, lifetime supply of flex cuffs, and soundproofing your basement. Hell, if one goes this route it's probably astute to keep a solid defense attorney on retainer also, for the inevitable trial in federal court

 

[SW15]

Women really don't 'pursue' men they want... they just don't make things difficult. A quality attractive woman, who is single will have at least three men chasing after her, likely more. They say yes to dates, they show up, and they are pleasant when you are with them. This is as good as it gets with attractive sane women. Rinse and repeat and if she really wants you, she will make herself scarce with the other dudes and focus on the one she really wants.... this takes time and patience.

I think you are describing a woman with medium interest.

@RangerMIke could be describing a woman with medium interest. At a minimum, that's a woman with medium to medium-high interest.

Doc Love used to have a concept that I first read about when I was in college in the early 2000s. He had this idea that women's interest levels operated on percentages from 0% to 100%. Closer to 100% was high interest. 50%+ interest level was something that was workable.

Women don't pursue in the way that men pursue. Women don't initiate interactions. Women are responsive when men initiate and escalate or they are not responsive. Additionally, women raise objections to initiations and escalations (making things more difficult) when they have lower interest levels. The less interest, the more difficult they make it. When women like you, they make things as easy as they possible can.

Women pursue in the way that they are most responsive to the option they like the best.

A woman might be dating three guys... if they all start off at the same time, she will MOST LIKELY have medium interest in all of them. As she dates them, she will eventually start liking one more that the others. If you happen to be the guy she is very interested in, she will make things easier and easier... will go along and do what you want to do... she will even start reaching out to you more. If you are one of the other two dudes, she will make things harder and harder and hope they take the hint and drift off. If they don't, she'll say "We have to talk.", but she will be disappointed that they didn't take the hint, because at that point she knows those dudes are more interested in her than she is in him.

Only when all the other dudes are out of the picture, will she seriously start to pursue that man she wants.

A scenario like this does happen but usually not exactly at the same time. There's usually some difference in the timelines. It might be something like 1-3 weeks. Not everyone is moving around the exact same time.

If there are 3 men a woman has medium interest in, then there will be scenario where she gets most interested in 1 under the condition she is seeking some sort of exclusive relationship.

It is extremely rare to have a woman just fall for a guy at first sight. Men do this all the time: it is unusual for women to do this.

I agree.

Yes, women have multiple men chasing them, but they do not care about most of these men.

Women today have ridiculous abundance.

Let's compare the situation women have had since the de-stigmatization of tech-based options (mid-2000s to present) as compared to the era before then but after the onset of the Sexual Revolution (1970s - mid-2000s).

In the 1970s - mid-2000s, women would generate interest based on their day-to-day routines in the world. Some women had better routines than others. Some women made me effort to meet men by going to bars more. Some women also had better non-bar routines. A woman with a decent routine might get approached in the real world by 7-15 men in a week depending on her age, looks, and effort in the real world. That's a decent quantity of options.

Since dating from tech methods got de-stigmatized in the mid-2000s, women have far more options than comparable women of the 1970s to circa 2005. A woman's day-to-day routine matters much less now. A woman who has taken a few good pictures on a couple days of her life, owns a smartphone, and has downloaded 1-2 apps now has a constant flow of 200+ new options per week in her swipe queue. This happens while she sits at home and watches internet content and streaming video platform content.

However, most women don't think much of their abundance because most women aren't impressed with the 200+ penises in their swipe queue. They can also add some more options from the social media DMs too.

If a woman fails to find this guy she will either settle with the second best option or just continue being emotionally single in her head. This is why I say anything below high interest is low interest because you run the risk of being instantly dropped for the right type of guy to come along.

A well known internet example of this is content creator Courtney Ryan. Courtney eventually settled for a dweeb with money/status named Teddy Baldassarre after failing to get a commitment from Alpha Chad types. Compared to most women, Courtney had more self-awareness and learned faster. She decided to settle around 23-25 with that dweeb with money option.

It's more common for women to be like the fitness class instructor that I overheard after a fitness class once. At the time, she was 30 years old and telling a female fitness class attendee about how using swipe app had been a disaster for her. This was a 30 year old who was better looking than Courtney Ryan. She had been riding the penis carousel and not getting commitment from the likely higher tier men she wanted a commitment from.

Courtney Ryan is a flight risk for Teddy Baldassarre.

The romanticized notion of tirelessly pursuing the girl of your dreams, as portrayed in Hollywood and popular culture, often falls short of reality. Instead, men would benefit from prioritizing maintaining attraction.

This is good advice for mid-tier men. Mid-tier men on looks/money/status could use their personalities to maintain higher level of attraction with the fewer women that they are able to get. Using personality attributes is free.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

You're too concerned with 'normally', while you yourself are not 'normal'. Like you said, you're more than a little autistic.

And you just want things to adapt to your autism. That's not going to happen, because you're a silent minority. No matter how much of a problem you have with approaching women, women won't start approaching you out of pity for your autism. Hard as it sounds, you just have to overcome your trepidation, grow some cojones, and talk with women without being so focused on yourself and sex.

yeah, because of that, i wonder if its recommend to approach and open women with an opener like this "hey i thought i'd walk up to you and open my mouth because thats what guys do"

I know this is the wrong attitude to have, i have had it in my mindset over the years on and off, but sometimes i have no sympathy for women as they age and their SMV declines, because of how women can get away with their passivity but men can't when it comes to dating, and even bigger reason, women normally never risk having their awkwardness or ineptness in social situations be perceived or dismissed as weird or creepy, uncomfortable, when interacting with the other sex, men don't.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I know this is the wrong attitude to have, i have had it in my mindset over the years on and off, but sometimes i have no sympathy for women as they age and their SMV declines, because of how women can get away with their passivity but men can't when it comes to dating, and even bigger reason, women normally never risk having their awkwardness or ineptness in social situations be perceived or dismissed as weird or creepy, uncomfortable, when interacting with the other sex, men don't.

It's that type of whining that marks you as autistic. Yes, it's a pity you're not a woman so you cannot just doll yourself up and sit in the corner waiting for a man to show up and take you dancing.

yeah, because of that, i wonder if its recommend to approach and open women with an opener like this "hey i thought i'd walk up to you and open my mouth because thats what guys do"

No, that's not recommended. That would be extremely autistic. "Hey, hi, I'm just going through the motions because I see other people do it, but I have no idea what the f*ck I'm doing." Not a good opener.

However, the idea of a good opener is overrated.
You can just walk up to a woman and say, "I like your look, so I came over to see if you're likeable in person as well."
You don't need to overthink openers. The more fabricated the opener sounds, the more you come across as someone who says the same scripted sh!t to every woman. And the opener is only to get her attention on you and to figure out whether she's open for a conversation that may lead somewhere.
A simple opener often leads to a simple response that will make it obvious if you should continue talking with her or find another woman to talk to.

This isn't rocket science.

 

[GoodMan32]

yeah, because of that, i wonder if its recommend to approach and open women with an opener like this "hey i thought i'd walk up to you and open my mouth because thats what guys do"

I know this is the wrong attitude to have, i have had it in my mindset over the years on and off, but sometimes i have no sympathy for women as they age and their SMV declines, because of how women can get away with their passivity but men can't when it comes to dating, and even bigger reason, women normally never risk having their awkwardness or ineptness in social situations be perceived or dismissed as weird or creepy, uncomfortable, when interacting with the other sex, men don't.

Well-said. Even if a woman's SMV declines as she ages, a woman 15 years older than me can still get plenty of attention (certainly more attention than I get). She just won't get as much attention as she did at 22. And as you indicated, they can be totally passive yet still get attention.

Also an excellent point that a woman won't get docked for being socially awkward or socially inept.

The fact I'm somehow viewed as dangerous just because I'm socially awkward is unreal. The typical woman could beat me in a fistfight.

 

[Solomon]

Well-said. Even if a woman's SMV declines as she ages, a woman 15 years older than me can still get plenty of attention (certainly more attention than I get). She just won't get as much attention as she did at 22. And as you indicated, they can be totally passive yet still get attention.

Also an excellent point that a woman won't get docked for being socially awkward or socially inept.

The fact I'm somehow viewed as dangerous just because I'm socially awkward is unreal. The typical woman could beat me in a fistfight.

Boohoo women and men are different
Stop comparing yourself to women
They are not going to approach you unless you're famous or "clouted up" if not roll up up your selves and get the approaching!

 

[GoodMan32]

View attachment 13692

It's that type of whining that marks you as autistic. Yes, it's a pity you're not a woman so you cannot just doll yourself up and sit in the corner waiting for a man to show up and take you dancing.


No, that's not recommended. That would be extremely autistic. "Hey, hi, I'm just going through the motions because I see other people do it, but I have no idea what the f*ck I'm doing." Not a good opener.

However, the idea of a good opener is overrated.
You can just walk up to a woman and say, "I like your look, so I came over to see if you're likeable in person as well."
You don't need to overthink openers. The more fabricated the opener sounds, the more you come across as someone who says the same scripted sh!t to every woman. And the opener is only to get her attention on you and to figure out whether she's open for a conversation that may lead somewhere.
A simple opener often leads to a simple response that will make it obvious if you should continue talking with her or find another woman to talk to.

This isn't rocket science.

At the last speed dating event I attended, a female attendee said she had recently attended an organized happy hour mixer hosted by the same dating company.

I told her "With your looks, you must have had 10 men swarming you."

That wasn't a generic line. Yet it still got me nowhere with her.

 

[GoodMan32]

Boohoo women and men are different
Stop comparing yourself to women
They are not going to approach you unless you're famous or "clouted up" if not roll up up your selves and get the approaching!

Male autists are prone to coming across as creepy if we approach a woman.

 

[SW15]

The typical woman could beat me in a fistfight.

You might want to take a boxing or kickboxing class.

Even if a woman's SMV declines as she ages, a woman 15 years older than me can still get plenty of attention (certainly more attention than I get). She just won't get as much attention as she did at 22. And as you indicated, they can be totally passive yet still get attention.

It's good to talk about attention levels that women experience as they age.

I want to talk about women 35-50 years old.

Most single women will notice that they get approached less in real life somewhere in their 30s as compared to their teens/20s. This has been something that has been true for decades, long before tech methods became de-stigmatized and popular.

Women 35-50 years old now who find themselves single know how to offset any lack of in-person attention. Almost all of them will place themselves on a swipe app and watch as they get hundreds of right swipes. Their swipe app matches are more interested in sex than extended relationships, but the attention that they can get on swipe apps is high.

Women 35-50 years old are also get requests for dates and sex on every social media platform. Instagram is well known as the place for the most DMs. Facebook and X are still sources for DMs. LinkedIn is also a common place where men DM women for dates and sex.

 

[GoodMan32]

You might want to take a boxing or kickboxing class.



It's good to talk about attention levels that women experience as they age.

I want to talk about women 35-50 years old.

Most single women will notice that they get approached less in real life somewhere in their 30s as compared to their teens/20s. This has been something that has been true for decades, long before tech methods became de-stigmatized and popular.

Women 35-50 years old now who find themselves single know how to offset any lack of in-person attention. Almost all of them will place themselves on a swipe app and watch as they get hundreds of right swipes. Their swipe app matches are more interested in sex than extended relationships, but the attention that they can get on swipe apps is high.

Women 35-50 years old are also get requests for dates and sex on every social media platform. Instagram is well known as the place for the most DMs. Facebook and X are still sources for DMs. LinkedIn is also a common place where men DM women for dates and sex.

What I find interesting is the massive mismatch between a 35-50 woman's attention levels in person vs on swipe apps.

With how much attention they get on swipe apps, they're obviously still desirable to a lot of men (which begs the question of why they get approached less in person)

 

[Solomon]

You might want to take a boxing or kickboxing class.



It's good to talk about attention levels that women experience as they age.

I want to talk about women 35-50 years old.

Most single women will notice that they get approached less in real life somewhere in their 30s as compared to their teens/20s. This has been something that has been true for decades, long before tech methods became de-stigmatized and popular.

Women 35-50 years old now who find themselves single know how to offset any lack of in-person attention. Almost all of them will place themselves on a swipe app and watch as they get hundreds of right swipes. Their swipe app matches are more interested in sex than extended relationships, but the attention that they can get on swipe apps is high.

Women 35-50 years old are also get requests for dates and sex on every social media platform. Instagram is well known as the place for the most DMs. Facebook and X are still sources for DMs. LinkedIn is also a common place where men DM women for dates and sex.

Women 35-50 are the easiest women to bag in my experience. You just gotta not be thirsty, put the charm on, half of them well let you clap their cheeks on the first date, the other half want a serious LTR and will try to hold out on the kitty as long as they can, it's up to you to vet and qualify in regards to watch you want to deal with

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I told her "With your looks, you must have had 10 men swarming you."
That wasn't a generic line. Yet it still got me nowhere with her.

Probably because you deliver the line like an autistic robot.

Like I explained time and time again, it's not about the words, it's about the delivery.

 

[GoodMan32]

Women 35-50 are the easiest women to bag in my experience. You just gotta not be thirsty, put the charm on, half of them well let you clap their cheeks on the first date, the other half want a serious LTR and will try to hold out on the kitty as long as they can, it's up to you to vet and qualify in regards to watch you want to deal with

Interesting. I had my last date with a 37 year old.

I wasn't tremendously thirsty.

I had enough charm she picked the date with me over the man I was serving as a wingman for.

Yet I never got cooch from her.

Perhaps the gal belongs to the half that wants a long-term relationship.

Or perhaps I really am extremely undesirable to the ladies.

 

[SW15]

With how much attention they get on swipe apps, they're obviously still desirable to a lot of men (which begs the question of why they get approached less in person)

The question it begs has a simple answer.

Middle aged singles are well known for having a poor day-to-day routine for meeting the opposite sex.

Younger singles are more likely to have a better day-to-day routine. However, Millennials and Gen Z are getting too tech dependent and even they aren't as good in day-to-day life anymore.

 

[Solomon]

Interesting. I had my last date with a 37 year old.

I wasn't tremendously thirsty.

I had enough charm she picked the date with me over the man I was serving as a wingman for.

Yet I never got cooch from her.

Perhaps the gal belongs to the half that wants a long-term relationship.

Or perhaps I really am extremely undesirable to the ladies.

Perhaps you bore women to tears with your conversations, What do you talk about. I would love to see you on a date