Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?

[MatureDJ]

When a woman goes to a “structured singles event”, it’s akin to online dating for her, the logical part of her brain kicks in and she wants James Bond ...

It's OVER for Sub007Cels.

 

[thermodynamic]

When a woman goes to a “structured singles event”, it’s akin to online dating for her, the logical part of her brain kicks in and she wants James Bonde

Jesus you guys are traumatized by us James Bond look a likes

 

[SW15]

They have Mexican dance events where a live band will play and the whole idea is you go there to maybe meet someone. And yeah its kind of like a high school dance but for young adults (age 18-35)

That sounds like a slightly more structured version of going out to a nightlife venue in either the Southwestern US or Florida (areas with big Hispanic populations) and them playing salsa, bachata, etc.

I have gone to night venues where there was a band and salsa music/salsa dancing. That was unstructured, as people in couples come out there and salsa dance. Salsa dancing night venues are a thing for pickup.

 

[SW15]

I'm bumping this thread right now because of Valentine's Day. Around Valentine's Day, there are a number of singles events/singles mixers that pop up. I've seen some singles events/singles mixers being promoted in my social media feeds.

Perhaps some new people can add wisdom and value to this thread or previous participants can add new insights.

I have had some lousy experiences at them. I don't think they draw an audience of desirable singles.

Which is a better choice in an evening this week....

1. Going to a bar for a pre-Valentine's Day singles mixer event?

or

2. Going to a bar with no special event, just an ordinary night out in the days preceding Valentine's Day?

I realize the word 'better' is subjective. Evaluate options on likelihood of making some sort of meaningful connection with a cute-hot woman (6+ range).

 

[HaleyBaron]

1) on valentines, all my friends with couples go out with each other. Sucks that when your friends get a gf or bf, they suddenly only want to go out with other couples. They seldomly invite singles unless it's a best friend.

2) Valentines to me is just as important as Christmas and others: not important at all. Now there will likely be an uptick of women who want to get a man on valentines, but it's more of a fantasy than reality I imagine. I never saw much change in the social standards during valentines day. And most women would likely find someone on social media or a dating app before going out so they wont suffer the embarrassment of being alone on that day. Alternatively, women will group up even more to protect each other from the fact that they have no one to go out with. So if any guy is thinking puss will be easy during this day, they got it wrong.

3) There are ways to make good out of this day but you have to be creative and still have game regardless. Valentine's is no different from any other day. An expert would probably find this day easier than any normal day cause women's emotions are heightened, even if they are out with a bf.

 

[2Rocky]

If a man could get good at Country Western dancing and lived in the right area, he could do well with White women. I am White so that would make sense for me for White women. The problem is that I am not awesome at Country Western dancing. Re-creating Urban Cowboy could work. I have a solid Country Western dancing spot in my Texas city.

Thanks Yellowstone.....

 

[SW15]

1) on valentines, all my friends with couples go out with each other. Sucks that when your friends get a gf or bf, they suddenly only want to go out with other couples. They seldomly invite singles unless it's a best friend.

This is true. Unattached and marginally attached men don't interact well with established couples, especially married couples.

2) Valentines to me is just as important as Christmas and others: not important at all. Now there will likely be an uptick of women who want to get a man on valentines, but it's more of a fantasy than reality I imagine. I never saw much change in the social standards during valentines day. And most women would likely find someone on social media or a dating app before going out so they wont suffer the embarrassment of being alone on that day. Alternatively, women will group up even more to protect each other from the fact that they have no one to go out with. So if any guy is thinking puss will be easy during this day, they got it wrong.

Roosh echoed similar sentiments about going out on Valentine's Day to attract & seduce women.

The Easiest Day Of The Year To Get Laid

Valentine’s Day
Common Sense: Single girls feel especially lonely, so they’ll want to fucck any guy that gives them a little attention.
The Reality: She’s fantasizing about love, not sex.

Also, Valentine's Day is the end of cuffing season. A lot of women get boyfriends in late October/early November so that they aren't alone through the winter holidays. While some women will drop a cuffing season boyfriend in early January, the more common tactic is to keep the cuffing season boyfriend until just after Valentine's Day.

3) There are ways to make good out of this day but you have to be creative and still have game regardless. Valentine's is no different from any other day. An expert would probably find this day easier than any normal day cause women's emotions are heightened, even if they are out with a bf.

1. Going to a bar for a pre-Valentine's Day singles mixer event?

or

2. Going to a bar with no special event, just an ordinary night out in the days preceding Valentine's Day?

Near or on Valentine's Day, I think Option 2 is a better choice than Option 1. What do you think?

 

[GoodMan32]

@SW15, since you turned me onto this thread, I am going to reply.

I'd say the key to ensuring these events are a success is simple: The host should ensure the gender ratio is 50/50.

If that means denying entry to men once the gender ratio becomes out of balance, so be it.

If the gender ratio is 50/50, at least everyone is on a level playing field.

 

[GoodMan32]

In the age of swipe apps and male thirst, there is little need for a quality woman to attend such events. You're likely to get low quality women, or medium quality women looking for validation.

The event I went to today cost $30 (even for broads).

Paying $30 just to get validation sounds pretty pathetic (on the part of these broads)

 

[SW15]

The host should ensure the gender ratio is 50/50.

That will only help to a small extent. Even in a 50/50 ratio situation, women know they still have options in the outside world.

What tends to happen at structured singles events/speed dating is that mediocre at best women show up and reject men.

If that means denying entry to men once the gender ratio becomes out of balance, so be it.

There's a lot of hype on the internet that men aren't going to singles events. There are many videos like the one I linked below. In the singles events I attended, I never saw that. I saw plenty of thirsty men swarming. Usually more men than women.

 

[GoodMan32]

That will only help to a small extent. Even in a 50/50 ratio situation, women know they still have options in the outside world.

What tends to happen at structured singles events/speed dating is that mediocre at best women show up and reject men.



There's a lot of hype on the internet that men aren't going to singles events. There are many videos like the one I linked below. In the singles events I attended, I never saw that. I saw plenty of thirsty men swarming. Usually more men than women.

Other than overhearing a woman bragging to her friend about getting a man's digits, I couldn't hear what exactly was being said during the open session phase. But the fact I saw men having continued discussions with broads would suggest they weren't getting auto-rejected right off the bat (like I was with the one broad whose digits I requested)

 

[GoodMan32]

On the general topic of the thread, I have something to add.

If singles events aren't worth it, that begs the question of: Where exactly is a man supposed to meet a woman in 2024?

Bars? As the OP mentioned, not every woman at a bar wants to be approached.

Daygame? Even though the OP has had some successes with daygame, he's (per his own admission on the public forum) had lots of failures. Plus, not every woman wants to be daygamed.

Swipe apps? They've become extremely oversaturated.

Work? Even though a few decades ago, the workplace was one of the most common places to meet a partner, meeting a partner at work in 2024 can range from prohibited to inadvisable.

 

[SW15]

Where exactly is a man supposed to meet a woman in 2024?

I would recommend that most men meet women through real life methods in 2024. There are many real life options.

The best real life option is to meet women through your social sphere. People you know have vetted her and people she knows have vetted you. Perhaps the two of you meet at some private residence gathering in the social circle. There might also be an introduction from text messaging or social media.

Without a social circle, it's going to get more difficult. Approaching strangers in real life is a tougher path and the tech-based methods are even worse.

Bars? As the OP mentioned, not every woman at a bar wants to be approached.

For most men, this will be the real life solution. There's a reason why Neil Strauss' "The Game" sold well. Men wanted to do better seducing women in nightlife venues. ,Most every unattached male and unattached female finds themselves in a bar at this point. The culture has changed a bit on nightlife venue approaching since the early to mid-2000s. Random unstructured nights at bars are going to be a better option than structured singles events.

Men should not care if some women don't want to be approached at bars. Men will go forward and approach at bars. If women don't want to get approached at bars, then they should stop going to bars.

Daygame? Even though the OP has had some successes with daygame, he's (per his own admission on the public forum) had lots of failures. Plus, not every woman wants to be daygamed.

Daygame (also known as non-bar approaching) has its benefits and drawbacks. Fewer men will be willing to do daygame. For some types of non-bar approaching, it takes a special skillset.

Men won't care that some women don't want to be daygamed. Motivated men will continue to daygame.

I don't see a lot of men doing daygame and I live in one of the biggest cities in the USA.

I will start a conversation whenever when I motivated to get some sex.

Work? Even though a few decades ago, the workplace was one of the most common places to meet a partner, meeting a partner at work in 2024 can range from prohibited to inadvisable.

Fewer people are meeting through work or at work. Starting romantic relationships in the workplace with co-workers is generally a bad idea in white collar, office type work. In blue collar work, there usually aren't enough females at work. In low wage, service sector type work, it can still be an option to meet a co-worker.

One of the best ways to meet women through work is to date the female friends/acquaintances of your co-workers. Stay on good terms with your female co-workers and see if they'd be willing to set you up. Some co-worker females might have good connections. When I enter a workplace, I can figure out which females in the workplace would have a chance of having some female friends/acquaintances.

Another option through the workplace is to meet women who work at different companies but in the same building. In larger office buildings, this can work. I've gotten dates from doing this. The best way to do this is to approach women in any public area of the building.

The final option is something I've never done but I have heard of happening. It's a method of dating within your own company in a white collar, office type work environment.

In white collar work, people leave jobs. People quit their job and usually give something like 1-2 weeks of notice before their last day. There are a few scenarios with this and I'll detail them. I'll start with the woman departing the company and go on to the man departing.

If you know a woman has resigned and is leaving the company, it's possible to ask her out on a date on her last day of work. As long as you aren't creepy about it, she definitely isn't going to report you to HR on the way out the door. There's a good amount of freedom here. If a woman gets fired/terminated/laid off, there probably isn't enough time to ask her out on her last day of work. If you have her phone number/LinkedIn, it's possible to ask her out through those methods, but I would not recommend it. An unattached woman who is unemployed isn't likely to prioritize dating. It's not the worst situation but not the best.

The best case scenario is when a man is resigning and has secured his next job. On his last day, he will be able to ask out any single woman he wants with freedom.

The worst case scenario is when a man gets fired/terminated/laid off. He probably won't have enough time to ask women out on dates while walking out the door. He is in a bad position to ask them out via LinkedIn/phone as well. Women will definitely look down on an unemployed man.

 

[GoodMan32]

I would recommend that most men meet women through real life methods in 2024. There are many real life options.

The best real life option is to meet women through your social sphere. People you know have vetted her and people she knows have vetted you. Perhaps the two of you meet at some private residence gathering in the social circle. There might also be an introduction from text messaging or social media.

Without a social circle, it's going to get more difficult. Approaching strangers in real life is a tougher path and the tech-based methods are even worse.



For most men, this will be the real life solution. There's a reason why Neil Strauss' "The Game" sold well. Men wanted to do better seducing women in nightlife venues. ,Most every unattached male and unattached female finds themselves in a bar at this point. The culture has changed a bit on nightlife venue approaching since the early to mid-2000s. Random unstructured nights at bars are going to be a better option than structured singles events.

Men should not care if some women don't want to be approached at bars. Men will go forward and approach at bars. If women don't want to get approached at bars, then they should stop going to bars.



Daygame (also known as non-bar approaching) has its benefits and drawbacks. Fewer men will be willing to do daygame. For some types of non-bar approaching, it takes a special skillset.

Men won't care that some women don't want to be daygamed. Motivated men will continue to daygame.

I don't see a lot of men doing daygame and I live in one of the biggest cities in the USA.

I will start a conversation whenever when I motivated to get some sex.



Fewer people are meeting through work or at work. Starting romantic relationships in the workplace with co-workers is generally a bad idea in white collar, office type work. In blue collar work, there usually aren't enough females at work. In low wage, service sector type work, it can still be an option to meet a co-worker.

One of the best ways to meet women through work is to date the female friends/acquaintances of your co-workers. Stay on good terms with your female co-workers and see if they'd be willing to set you up. Some co-worker females might have good connections. When I enter a workplace, I can figure out which females in the workplace would have a chance of having some female friends/acquaintances.

Another option through the workplace is to meet women who work at different companies but in the same building. In larger office buildings, this can work. I've gotten dates from doing this. The best way to do this is to approach women in any public area of the building.

The final option is something I've never done but I have heard of happening. It's a method of dating within your own company in a white collar, office type work environment.

In white collar work, people leave jobs. People quit their job and usually give something like 1-2 weeks of notice before their last day. There are a few scenarios with this and I'll detail them. I'll start with the woman departing the company and go on to the man departing.

If you know a woman has resigned and is leaving the company, it's possible to ask her out on a date on her last day of work. As long as you aren't creepy about it, she definitely isn't going to report you to HR on the way out the door. There's a good amount of freedom here. If a woman gets fired/terminated/laid off, there probably isn't enough time to ask her out on her last day of work. If you have her phone number/LinkedIn, it's possible to ask her out through those methods, but I would not recommend it. An unattached woman who is unemployed isn't likely to prioritize dating. It's not the worst situation but not the best.

The best case scenario is when a man is resigning and has secured his next job. On his last day, he will be able to ask out any single woman he wants with freedom.

The worst case scenario is when a man gets fired/terminated/laid off. He probably won't have enough time to ask women out on dates while walking out the door. He is in a bad position to ask them out via LinkedIn/phone as well. Women will definitely look down on an unemployed man.

Interestingly, when I used to work a service sector job, a female coworker said her and a female friend spotted me outside of work (and she told her female friend about us working together).

I said: Let me guess, your friend said "He's hot. Give me his number"

(I'm known to brag about my looks. But it's all a coping mechanism to overcompensate for my low self-esteem)

Also, bragging about my looks at work is a possible way to get a female coworker who finds me attractive to admit it.

On the topic of getting a woman from a different office in your building, a woman who fits that description has called me good-looking before (and as an added bonus: she's at the age where I no longer fear pregnancy). One catch: She's married.

I'm willing to get with a married woman...but she'd have to offer the sex. No way am I pursuing a married woman.

On the topic of making a move on a female coworker on her last day, I exchanged digits with a female coworker on her last day at my current job. We texted a bit. Nothing further.

I just thought of another possibility for me to get a woman (and this ties in with the topic of both parties screening each other). There's a woman I've been riding the bus with off and on for many years now. She's too old even for me. But she's called me sexy before...and she's talked about fixing me up with female coworkers of hers. My business cards could perhaps work in this scenario (I could hand her my business card to give to a female coworker)