Speed dating, wow! That's been irrelevant for a long time.
Pretty much anything unnatural, such as any type of structured singles event, is going to draw a weak talent pool of overly entitled "5s" and be a shiit show for the men.
I had always thought that speed-dating has an abundance of buns, not sausages.
I had heard the bun abundance idea too. Regardless of ratios, speed dating ends up with a lot of frustration for both sides.
Women have liked the concept of going to speed dating events. It has greater efficiencies for them in terms of sorting quantity of candidates as compared to a regular night out at a bar, where the number of approaches they field would vary. They'd probably get more "approaches" in a speed dating event than compared to random non-bar approaches, especially if they are 30+, which a lot of female speed dating attendees are. However, a lot of the advantages of speed dating for women have been made redundant by swipe apps, so there's really no point in attending now for women. Speed dating did reasonably well in the website era of online dating (late 1990s-early 2010s) because website dating was stigmatized for the earlier portion of that period and because website dating required more mental labor than swipe app dating. Swipe app dating has been more socially acceptable than website dating ever was, even in 2010 when website dating had been de-stigmatized. A large percentage of women have done swipe apps as compared to website dating.
In a speed dating event, women are seeking top tier men, just as if they were sitting at home swiping. The expectations are increased as compared to is they were reliant upon their social circle for prospects or even evaluating their in-person approaches outside of a structured event setting. The problem with that mindset and search effort is that top tier men have no need to attend a speed dating event. They have enough prospects from swipe apps, bar approaching, or non-bar approaching if they are a part of the small percentage of men who bother to non-bar approach. The men who turn out at speed dating events are men outside of the Top 20%, who are generally undesirable.
These lower tier men are going into events massively thirsty because their penises probably have not gotten wet in a while. While some of these men might be in the 6-7.5 range on looks, they might be lacking social skills or money in those cases. Then there are men lacking looks, money, and social skills. Neither the good looking guys lacking social skills (and possibly money) or the average to below average looking guys lacking social skills and/or money are desirable to women.
For the men, they are dealing with a weak talent pool of women who believe that they are entitled to top tier men. It's not enjoyable for even a semi-attactive man like a 6.5 or 7 to deal with a 30+ year old, 5-5.5 looking woman who believes she's entitled to a top tier man.
The man will mark down mostly every mediocre option from speed dating as a "yes" in the hopes of being able to get his penis wet. Men will only reject a woman who shows massive attitude problems, is ridiculously fat, or a single mom while he's childless. Women will mark down every man who doesn't give her "all the feelz" in 5 minutes as a "no". Both sides walk away from the event with no matches and frustration. Only the organization promoting the event gets a short term revenue boost but suffers medium to long term brand damage from lousy customer experiences, leading to bad word of mouth marketing, both informally and on Google/Yelp reviews. This eventually leading to the speed dating company going out of business. The bar hosting the event sells a few extra incremental drinks.
When a woman goes to a “structured singles event”, it’s akin to online dating for her, the logical part of her brain kicks in and she wants James Bond; 6’2, rich, handsome, educated, house, car, good skin, great hair, ripped, one younger, loving parents and sexually gifted. It’s difficult for a guy to *connect*.
The same guy that would strike out at a singles event with 30+ year olds would probably be able to pick up a hotter younger girl in the lineup at a bank. Why? Her emotional brain kicks in. She doesn’t have time to analyze it, think about it, ponder it. She thinks
‘this guy looks ok, makes me feel good, I’m in.”
Speed dating events count as a structured singles event, though a sub-variant of singles events in general. The more common "structured singles event" is a general social event or mixer with all single people. It typically takes place on some weeknight at some bar or even country club type place looking to bolster revenue on a slow night. However, some singles mixers can happen on a Friday or Saturday night, though that's rarer since most night venues want to focus on their business from the general audience, which includes unstructured interaction between the sexes.
I agree that women at a structured event approach it a lot like online dating where they seek the top tier guys. Yes, it is difficult to connect.
I think you're right that there's a better chance to make a meaningful connection in some sort of unstructured setting such as a random bar night or some random non-bar approaching. The problem with random non-bar approaching and random bar approaching is that the man doesn't know if the woman will be receptive to an approach in either of those setting, especially non-bar approaching. For example, fitness classes are mostly women but it's difficult to get in a good approach at the end of fitness class. A good portion of female attendees at fitness class already have boyfriends and are not entertaining new approaches and/or are closed off to any sorts of approaches. This also happens at parks, walking paths, and on the general gym floor with the use of earbuds. Bars have the advantage in general of a more receptive audience but its own set of challenges.
The bottom line is that women at "structured singles events" are very easy to approach. It's a much easier approach than either random non-bar setting approach or a bar approach. The problem is that after the approach and first 1-2 minutes of conversation, making a meaningful connection is more difficult due to entitlement and unreasonable expectations.
any decent looking guy should be able to pickup any single *isolated* girl in less than 45 seconds.
That's unreasonable. A man can spark some attraction in less than 45 seconds, but it takes at least a 5 minute conversation to get a date agreement and collect a phone number.
