Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?

[Murk]

It's been my experience that decently attractive women that find me attractive enough to date spend VERY little time single - they are only generally available for a few weeks.

Yep, too many options, OLD usually isn't one of them. I've met gf's through OLD, maybe I wasn't ready, maybe they were equally unstable, but it never worked out. Even my current girlfriend we matched on tinder in 2017, I msged her and got no reply, we only found out a year later, I obviously wasn't physically attractive enough, which does piss me off, because my face is 80% of my game!

Can't beat meeting a girl irl and having strong attraction, getting her number and taking things from there. The excitement is higher and the anxiety is lower (you already met her in person), the battle is half won.

Let's bring back old school dating and values.

 

[SW15]

Can't beat meeting a girl irl and having strong attraction, getting her number and taking things from there.

Let's bring back old school dating and values.

I believe I’m doing this to an extent. I’m not using swipe apps to meet women, which is a great start in that. I’d like to eliminate text messaging from dating. I still feel like I send too many texts, even with me solely texting logistical details. I would rather talk on the phone.

I have been seeing too many number flakes lately though. I get the date concept agreement & then she flakes in between when we make plans together in person and the day of the actual date.

 

[Murk]

I believe I’m doing this to an extent. I’m not using swipe apps to meet women, which is a great start in that. I’d like to eliminate text messaging from dating. I still feel like I send too many texts, even with me solely texting logistical details. I would rather talk on the phone.

I have been seeing too many number flakes lately though. I get the date concept agreement & then she flakes in between when we make plans together in person and the day of the actual date.

Good! OLD is trash!

I'm a big communicator so I also struggled with just texting for dates. Calling girls and speaking to them before date really reduces flakes, I've had no flakes. I usually flake because I don't feel confident or mentally "on point", I can only assume women feel the same. Some girls I know never flake and always go on dates, the more intelligent a person is, the more they overthink, they less they "just act" so take into consideration flaking sometimes has NOTHING to do with you. Combat that by building rapport/familiarity before the date. There's no one size fits all, this is just my personal experience.

 

[bat soup]

Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by definition.

Many different entities will put on a singles night. It can be anything from an apartment community, to a Meetup.com singles group, to some other organization. Speed dating events count as a structured singles event, though a sub-variant of singles events in general.

I have been to singles events and have found that it brings out a weak talent pool of women, mainly no one above a 6. Also, the 5-6s act entitled AF. Many boring types come out, like female accountants and some careerists too.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? Are these events worth skipping altogether? It's super easy to talk to people at these since women are expected to be approached.

I've never been to such an event but I'd imagine it to be a place where the leftover people go, i.e. socially awkward men and butt ugly women.

 

[SW15]

Speed dating events count as a structured singles event, though a sub-variant of singles events in general.

Is the general consensus that speed dating events are a waste of time? I think @sangheilios mentioned going to one.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You mean like the lock and key events on Schitt's Creek?

 

[bat soup]

Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by definition.

Many different entities will put on a singles night. It can be anything from an apartment community, to a Meetup.com singles group, to some other organization. Speed dating events count as a structured singles event, though a sub-variant of singles events in general.

I have been to singles events and have found that it brings out a weak talent pool of women, mainly no one above a 6. Also, the 5-6s act entitled AF. Many boring types come out, like female accountants and some careerists too.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? Are these events worth skipping altogether? It's super easy to talk to people at these since women are expected to be approached.

This is where you find the leftover women that nobody approaches because nobody finds them attractive.

And also, you'll find men that are scared to approach women without a written invitation (which this is).

 

[BadBoy89]

I have been to singles events and have found that it brings out a weak talent pool of women, mainly no one above a 6. Also, the 5-6s act entitled AF. Many boring types come out, like female accountants and some careerists too.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? Are these events worth skipping altogether? It's super easy to talk to people at these since women are expected to be approached.

Years ago I signed up like 4-5 times and each time I never went.

I think the companies running the event hire women (single or married) to show up and act interested to the guys hitting on them. That way the company looks good and the guys can't complain. Single women may get a free meal out of it too.

 

[VirtuousD]

I'm inclined to disagree that swipe apps would be enough to prevent decent women from attending a singles night. A lot of these events are held at bars and clubs (with after parties as mentioned) so it's really no different for a woman to dress up for this on a friday/saturday compared to a standard nightclub.

Just because they get attention on these apps doesn't mean that they all have an easy experience on them, if you watch the live streams on pof, ok cupid or any other app with that functionality you'll see how pathetic a lot are quys are with the "hey beautiful" and all that corny **** must be tiring after a while (even though they can get a quick free meal from it) nobody truly wants to be on old it's a last resort thing even for women i reckon they'd prefer to meet a potential in real life too. Granted you may be right that they may not be absolute stunners at these events, but most of us ain't pulling stunners anyway if we are being real lol

 

[Murk]

What is room craft?

Dominating a room and your surroundings, being seen as "having a great time" (women have said this to me before when I ask why they approached me), perceived confidence in yourself, being sociable and fluid in social settings, feeling and looking comfortable, basically anything associated with being in a closed environment socially I would place within roomcraft. I'll caveat this by saying the above remains true even if it's all perceived and you're feeling the opposite inside.

 

[eli77]

Unless it was a coed sporting event like kickball volleyball or laser tag I will skip them

 

[thermodynamic]

I went to one of these events once. They wanted $10 to go in. The girls were pathetic. I could talk to better girls for free on the sidewalk outside the place. It was mostly gold diggers in there 30s. I was 21 and for some odd reason my friend saw singles night and wanted to go look inside. I think tinder has replaced these sorts of events.

 

[SW15]

You mean like the lock and key events on Schitt's Creek?

Many different entities will put on a singles night. It can be anything from an apartment community, to a Meetup.com singles group, to some other organization. Speed dating events count as a structured singles event, though a sub-variant of singles events in general.

I've never seen Schitt's Creek but I have read about lock and key events. Lock and key would be one variant of a structured singles event.

I think tinder has replaced these sorts of events.

There's a case that swipe apps have replaced these sorts of events to an extent. @BillyPilgrim made that case earlier in the thread. There is no substitute for the in-person experience so these types of events will persist. There are still enough of these events that I hear about via social media feeds.

What is room craft?

I don't know what that is either.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I have been to singles events and have found that it brings out a weak talent pool of women, mainly no one above a 6. Also, the 5-6s act entitled AF. Many boring types come out, like female accountants and some careerists too.

That’s all that is left, dude.

I really don’t know what you guys expect. The HB8+ are either already married or on a yacht getting dvcked down by a richer dude than you.

 

[SW15]

I have been to singles events and have found that it brings out a weak talent pool of women, mainly no one above a 6. Also, the 5-6s act entitled AF. Many boring types come out, like female accountants and some careerists too.

That’s all that is left, dude.

I really don’t know what you guys expect. The HB8+ are either already married or on a yacht getting dvcked down by a richer dude than you.

I think most men would be ok with a 5-7.5 who doesn't have a bad attitude and acts entitled AF. Not career/boring types either.

If you don't have a yacht, do you think a Rolex and BMW/Mercedes-Benz combo would be enough to replace a yacht to attract women? It is difficult to compete on money and material possessions, even if your looks are in the 5-7 range.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If you don't have a yacht, do you think a Rolex and BMW/Mercedes-Benz combo would be enough to replace a yacht to attract women? It is difficult to compete on money and material possessions, even if your looks are in the 5-7 range.

No. That wasn’t the point.

The HB8+ are taken by 25 years old. They are either already married or (casually) dating a high status man. By 25+, the single women left on the market are all the leftovers. A good looking, single 30 year old chick is usually at most a 7 and is wearing gobs of makeup.

Your expectations of the singles market and singles events are way too high. Know going in that the hottest chick in there is a 7 at best. Most will be 5s.

 

[thermodynamic]

I think most men would be ok with a 5-7.5 who doesn't have a bad attitude and acts entitled AF. Not career/boring types either.

If you don't have a yacht, do you think a Rolex and BMW/Mercedes-Benz combo would be enough to replace a yacht to attract women? It is difficult to compete on money and material possessions, even if your looks are in the 5-7 range.

It is not that hard to compete in material possessions, either. A nice sports car goes a long way in the hood.

 

[Dean Gladwyn]

Depends on what you're after, but it could be a good playground to practice. Although, these type of events might consist of people that feel more hopeless in meeting someone than anything else.

 

[SW15]

Depends on what you're after, but it could be a good playground to practice. Although, these type of events might consist of people that feel more hopeless in meeting someone than anything else.

If you hear about some structured singles event, don't bother to go. Not worth the time for finding anything.

 

[MatureDJ]

Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by definition.

Many different entities will put on a singles night. It can be anything from an apartment community, to a Meetup.com singles group, to some other organization. Speed dating events count as a structured singles event, though a sub-variant of singles events in general.

I have been to singles events and have found that it brings out a weak talent pool of women, mainly no one above a 6. Also, the 5-6s act entitled AF. Many boring types come out, like female accountants and some careerists too.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? Are these events worth skipping altogether? It's super easy to talk to people at these since women are expected to be approached.

I've met and dated a few Becky-tier chicks from them.