How can I figure out what makes me so offputting?

[analyticparalytic]

Coming back from yet another unsuccessful night extremely disappointed. I go to college with an uncountable number of beautiful women. And yet, every time I talk to one of them at a bar, I hold their attention for maybe a few seconds, or a minute. They're initially excited for me to come up to them, and within moments, I watch that excitement fade from their eyes. It's like a light switch, I don't know what it is. I try to keep my conversation spontaneous, jumping around. My friends have said I'm attractive, I'm healthy, I clearly work out. My style needs a little work, but I don't look homeless. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't even know where to begin asking the question. Why do I bore them so much? Freshman year it was so easy, they just threw themselves at you because they wanted any validation they could get. Now they want to be entertained, or something. My ex said women want guys to seem toxic, because it's exciting, but everyone I ask can't give me a straight answer on what that means. Not to mention that all the bars here are too loud. How can I run game if I can't even hear what she's saying?

This is rambly. But my question is, what could possibly be causing them to become so bored of me so quickly? We're not even into a full conversation yet and their eyes go dark and they full 180 to talk to their friends. It makes me want to shrivel up and die. How can I keep their attention? I get that this is needy but I'm in a real negative feedback loop here.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Post up at a highly trafficked segment of the bar, standing, with a male friend. Have a presence about you and know your surroundings but be content in your space. Befriend the bartender especially if she’s an attractive female but any social proof will do. Use situational openers when attractive women slide in and out. Don’t just jump though on any hot piece of tail that pulls up next to you, pick your spots. Doing this will establish a strong sense of presence and value by being selective, and when you do connect with one of these women and they laugh and twirl their hair and engage you, others will see it. No serious conversation at the bar. Funny, slightly arrogant, but be welcoming. Work on that and come back.

 

[analyticparalytic]

Post up at a highly trafficked segment of the bar, standing, with a male friend. Have a presence about you and know your surroundings but be content in your space. Befriend the bartender especially if she’s an attractive female but any social proof will do. Use situational openers when attractive women slide in and out. Don’t just jump though on any hot piece of tail that pulls up next to you, pick your spots. Doing this will establish a strong sense of presence and value by being selective, and when you do connect with one of these women and they laugh and twirl their hair and engage you, others will see it. No serious conversation at the bar. Funny, slightly arrogant, but be welcoming. Work on that and come back.

I can do that, but one question. This is a big-ass college town. These bars are PACKED. It is ass to ass in these bars, all the time, and the bartenders are too busy to even look you in the eye. There is absolutely no sense of "presence" in these bars because it's just one massive mob. What would you recommend I do in these types of places?

 

[characternote]

Freshman year it was so easy, they just threw themselves at you because they wanted any validation they could get

just keep banging the freshman girls?

 

[Divorced w 3]

I can do that, but one question. This is a big-ass college town. These bars are PACKED. It is ass to ass in these bars, all the time, and the bartenders are too busy to even look you in the eye. There is absolutely no sense of "presence" in these bars because it's just one massive mob. What would you recommend I do in these types of places?

Busy is good. This is a numbers game and this only helps you. The bartender is never too busy to look you in the eye. They don’t know you need a drink if they’re not looking at you at some point. Stick with what I said. You have every right to lean into the bar, holding conversation with your friend, enjoying your evening. I also echo the banging freshman. College need not be complicated. It will never be this easy ever again. Go get ‘em tiger.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Women should be secondary

Never make women your .ain priority

Unless it's your wife. Then especially don't make her your main priority

Looks don't matter as much for men, so you have some leeway. Your personality is what counts the most, and you can change that

Start acting like you own the place. That's all you can do. If a woman doesn't like it, she can leave. Period.

This type of personality not only prevents you from being a b1tch, it also separates the wheat from the chaff

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Woman: "that guy is an *******"

Me: atta boy

 

[corrector]

Never make women your .ain priority

Unless it's your wife.

Nah, it should be your mother.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

All people, men and women, want attention and validation, but attention and validation loses value if it isn't earned.

Any attention and validation you give a woman for free will go unappreciated, especially in times where thirsty men give overwhelming amounts of free attention and validation to unworthy spoiled entitled brats.

 

[BaronOfHair]

This is rambly. But my question is, what could possibly be causing them to become so bored of me so quickly?

Fair bet that you were equally rambly with these broads. Thus, you've answered your own question

 

[SW15]

Coming back from yet another unsuccessful night extremely disappointed.

Most men can relate to this. So many men come home from the bars in the early morning hours pissed off that they didn't get laid or arrange a date at the bar that night.

I go to college with an uncountable number of beautiful women.

I can relate. I went to a school I have called "Hot Girl U" on here many times. I selected to attend this school in part for this school's reputation for attracting beautiful women and its good party scene. It seems like you selected a similar school.

Freshman year it was so easy, they just threw themselves at you because they wanted any validation they could get.

Focus on seducing some freshman females then. Based on the age listed in your profile, I am thinking that you are a senior in college. You are well positioned to bang some freshman females. Run standard daygame on them while walking on campus or hit on them in on campus clubs.

You are new to this forum. We have two excellent threads about seducing women as a college freshman. I think the first one of these two is the better and more meaningful thread.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

The college hype is unreal, true players get how overrated it is.

Looking back at it, I am amazed at how big the hype around college truly was. Maybe my boy @CornbreadFed and @SW15 could speak on this but I speak with so many guys who seem to have peaked in college and don't realize how beautiful life can get after it. FWIW, I was in a fraternity in college, a...

www.sosuave.net

My ex said women want guys to seem toxic, because it's exciting, but everyone I ask can't give me a straight answer on what that means.

Women desire men who can be deemed as toxic. These are men who are the opposite of "nice guys". These are men who have great physiques, do not chase them, do not prioritize them, and do not put them on a pedestal. It's the hot guy who is tough for them to pin down. Be that guy.

Not to mention that all the bars here are too loud. How can I run game if I can't even hear what she's saying?

This is a problem in many college bars and many big city bars that attract working people that aren't college students.

Select quieter bars where conversation is possible if you want to use nightlife venues for seduction.

In a loud bar, you want to seduce with physique. You want to be a hot guy. It's ideal if you are 6'0"+, fit/muscular man with a low body fat percentage in a loud bar. That physical combination is most likely to get women's pussies dripping wet. Lifting weights, eating clean, and participating in a sport you enjoy can get you there. The height thing is something you can't control, so it is best if your genetics already got you to 6'0" or taller.