How can I figure out what makes me so offputting?

[analyticparalytic]

Coming back from yet another unsuccessful night extremely disappointed. I go to college with an uncountable number of beautiful women. And yet, every time I talk to one of them at a bar, I hold their attention for maybe a few seconds, or a minute. They're initially excited for me to come up to them, and within moments, I watch that excitement fade from their eyes. It's like a light switch, I don't know what it is. I try to keep my conversation spontaneous, jumping around. My friends have said I'm attractive, I'm healthy, I clearly work out. My style needs a little work, but I don't look homeless. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't even know where to begin asking the question. Why do I bore them so much? Freshman year it was so easy, they just threw themselves at you because they wanted any validation they could get. Now they want to be entertained, or something. My ex said women want guys to seem toxic, because it's exciting, but everyone I ask can't give me a straight answer on what that means. Not to mention that all the bars here are too loud. How can I run game if I can't even hear what she's saying?

This is rambly. But my question is, what could possibly be causing them to become so bored of me so quickly? We're not even into a full conversation yet and their eyes go dark and they full 180 to talk to their friends. It makes me want to shrivel up and die. How can I keep their attention? I get that this is needy but I'm in a real negative feedback loop here.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Post up at a highly trafficked segment of the bar, standing, with a male friend. Have a presence about you and know your surroundings but be content in your space. Befriend the bartender especially if she’s an attractive female but any social proof will do. Use situational openers when attractive women slide in and out. Don’t just jump though on any hot piece of tail that pulls up next to you, pick your spots. Doing this will establish a strong sense of presence and value by being selective, and when you do connect with one of these women and they laugh and twirl their hair and engage you, others will see it. No serious conversation at the bar. Funny, slightly arrogant, but be welcoming. Work on that and come back.

 

[analyticparalytic]

Post up at a highly trafficked segment of the bar, standing, with a male friend. Have a presence about you and know your surroundings but be content in your space. Befriend the bartender especially if she’s an attractive female but any social proof will do. Use situational openers when attractive women slide in and out. Don’t just jump though on any hot piece of tail that pulls up next to you, pick your spots. Doing this will establish a strong sense of presence and value by being selective, and when you do connect with one of these women and they laugh and twirl their hair and engage you, others will see it. No serious conversation at the bar. Funny, slightly arrogant, but be welcoming. Work on that and come back.

I can do that, but one question. This is a big-ass college town. These bars are PACKED. It is ass to ass in these bars, all the time, and the bartenders are too busy to even look you in the eye. There is absolutely no sense of "presence" in these bars because it's just one massive mob. What would you recommend I do in these types of places?

 

[characternote]

Freshman year it was so easy, they just threw themselves at you because they wanted any validation they could get

just keep banging the freshman girls?