Walked Away From BPD Ex, Please Help!

[Grandma Penkitten]

That's a BPD woman.

No sorry. There is a big difference.

 

[HaleyBaron]

No sorry. There is a big difference.

Be sorry all you want. Women are BPD personified.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Be sorry all you want. Women are BPD personified.

This is how men become when they've been f*cked over a few times: all women are bad and out to ruin you. Except for their mommy, of course, although they see how their fathers cowered before her, and they loathe their father's weakness.

You're right, Haley. All women are bad. Men are good, maybe you should go the other way.

 

[HaleyBaron]

This is how men become when they've been f*cked over a few times: all women are bad and out to ruin you. Except for their mommy, of course, although they see how their fathers cowered before her, and they loathe their father's weakness.

You're right, Haley. All women are bad. Men are good, maybe you should go the other way.

You made a big, big stretch. I never once said that women being bad and out to ruin you is BPD. Low iq take. I won't even warrant it with an explanation.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is how men become when they've been f*cked over a few times: all women are bad and out to ruin you. Except for their mommy, of course, although they see how their fathers cowered before her, and they loathe their father's weakness.

You're right, Haley. All women are bad. Men are good, maybe you should go the other way.

It's so easy to tell who are here because they enjoy and love women and those who are simply out of revenge and spite to hurt women the way they have been hurt in the past and actually hate women.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Alright, since you brought this up, Back, it looks like you got a chip on your shoulder so time to oblige this little behavior of yours.

Show me where saying women are naturally BPD inherently makes someone spiteful of women. This seems like one of the biggest stretches of projection I have seen so far on this site. I would love to see the reasoning behind such a ludicrous reasoning.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I won't even warrant it with an explanation.

Nobody is waiting for you explaining your 'interpretations' what BPD means, Haley. And the first part of the quoted message was about men in general, not just you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Alright, since you brought this up, Back, it looks like you got a chip on your shoulder so time to oblige this little behavior of yours.

Show me where saying women are naturally BPD inherently makes someone spiteful of women. This seems like one of the biggest stretches of projection I have seen so far on this site. I would love to see the reasoning behind such a ludicrous reasoning.

No different than a woman saying all guys are @ssholes or have small d!cks or naturally have ED.

Obviously untrue to the point there is not even a basis for believing it.

 

[HaleyBaron]

No different than a woman saying all guys are @ssholes or have small d!cks or naturally have ED.

Obviously untrue to the point there is not even a basis for believing it.

Except if you are on this forum, you know women who say that are your typical emotional non-logical female that do not think past their nose. Though I am not surprised you equate that considering your views on this website to begin with.

Now let's ask another question: is a person capable of saying all women are BPD without hating them? This will say more than enough about your viewpoint [as if I did not know it already].

 

[upcoming_DJ]

I went through this, and I left myself almost never being able to walk again (on my own). She sucked everything out me - money, health, mental fortitude...etc, it was my fault. I let her. And I have paid dearly for it. A handsome penny.

I'm available to talk if you still want to bounce anything off man.

Don't let'em control you with sex. She gave me the best sex I ever had. Kept me hooked even when I believed I was over it.

Then when I tore my 2 quad tendons and was in bed for 8 months (literally)......I had a flash, an awakening. That changed things for me, but you heard the price.

 

[Gamisch]

Sounds like you might be BPD.

No different than a woman saying all guys are @ssholes or have small d!cks or naturally have ED.

Obviously untrue to the point there is not even a basis for believing it.

These post stood out the most to me so I'll respond to them.

I've heard a theory that if a man spends enough time with a bipolar woman he will sooner or later pick ot up himself. Why? Imo /ime after living together with one, I've noticed that the only way to settle whatever disagreement eventually will be the route of least resistance. You'll start screaming, gaslightinng lying manipulating ect because that's the ONLY language she speaks. You try to reason a million times untill you be like VUCK THAT and succumb to the low energetic ways she's using on you.

The second post is also true. Think about it. We push one another to run game, approach ,mack ect. The problem with this tho, is You'll keep attracting the same type of women. So yes, eventually you'll conclude that "all women are yxz" because all you ever known was xyz.

Nobody is waiting for you explaining your 'interpretations' what BPD means, Haley. And the first part of the quoted message was about men in general, not just you.

Let me show you how to do it:

" although clinically and /or scientifically you are incorrect , as a man with tons of experience I know damn well what you mean."

No need to nitpick every post . He is right. I've been with more than 200 women and 95% of them were " bipolar " quote on quote.

It's so easy to tell who are here because they enjoy and love women and those who are simply out of revenge and spite to hurt women the way they have been hurt in the past and actually hate women.

If you play with fire you will get burned. Women are fire to us. Eventually most men will get burned. This site is available for all men even women. Not a great way of arguing imo.

Yes I've been burned often. So what? No I don't enjoy jezebels. So what?

 

[Gamisch]

OP thinks he's the only one who dealt with BPD women. Boy, ALL WOMEN are BPD. And I have yet to be disproven on that.

Stop acting like your situation is unique. I do not know what you want from us. You did exactly what we would have told you to do. What else is the problem.

This should be a lesson every father teaches his son(s).

"So pick the least problematic one, but never expect it to be a smooth ride".

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

No need to nitpick every post . He is right. I've been with more than 200 women and 95% of them were " bipolar " quote on quote.

I don't want to offend you, but that's anecdotal evidence. And where would be if we didn't nitpick and just accepted nonsense as gospel? People here want to learn, I guess, not fill their heads with nonsense.

I've been dating women for more than four decades.
When I was hell on wheels, in my teens and early twenties, more than half the women I dated I suspect were clinically BPD. I base this on both physically attacking me (with nail files and straight razors), going totally unhinged after breaking up, and stalking me. I didn't care though, because I was armed and lived on borrowed time and didn't care about strutting down the edge of the blade.
After surviving another near-death, I cleaned up my life. I took up martial arts and writing and starting hanging around with another type of people. Even though I hadn't published anything yet, people respected me and I became a law-abiding citizen and started dating 'normal' women. I was still quite nuts myself, so I made some choices where I still got into contact with BPD type women, but they weren't really 'disordered' so they just had the traits.
With my (semi-)criminal background, I became a 'personal security consultant' for people who run certain risks, which got me invited into hitherto inaccessible social circles, where dated women from a higher social hierarchy. Some of them merely 'trust fund affluent', others working in high-earning occupations (fashion designers, models, photographers). Some of these women were mercurial / impulsive / whimsical, but none of them tried to maim or kill me, so the level of BPD in my lovers went down sharply.

Now, I'm not a player like you, so I don't have your lay count, but I'd say I dated maybe five clinically BPD women and another five who should be certified. I don't know exactly how many women I slept with, but let's say it's around 99. That means 10% of the women I slept with were BPD. And most of the 'disturbed ones' I dated when I was under 25, half a lifetime ago.
Another thing to consider: I'm good with these type of women, so I enjoyed the relationships I had with them. I admit I sought out the twisted ones.

So even though I was attracted to and attractive to these BPD type of women, the percentage of BPD types I had sex with was around ten percent, not anywhere close to 95%.

Now, when you say you 'been with' (200x95%=) 190 bipolar women and I look at when in my life the majority of the women I dated were the most BPD, I'm starting to think that maybe it's not 95% of all women who are bipolar, just 95% of the women you dated.
From my perspective, that looks like either you were fishing in the dirty pool or you were simply a magnet due to, ahem, 'who you are'.

I believe you get the company you choose. When my darker nature was most apparent, I attracted dark triad women. And I loved them. Their kinky craziness was at the same level as their passion. Intense relationships that I didn't always survive unscathed.
But when I turned away from my darker nature, my own dark traits became less apparent, and so I become less interesting to these women and started to attract more level-headed women.

All people have dark triad traits, but few of them get them to the point where they have a Personality Disorder. And virtually every Disorder 'has difficulty forming healthy longterm relationships'. So, yes, when you just fvck every bimbo who winks at you, chances are incredibly high that you're fvcking a person with severe mental issues, maybe even a personality disorder.
Maybe even 95% of them.

Find yourself another pool to fish in.

 

[The Duke]

Call it what you want, they all have a little crazy in them. The ones that don't, come across as more masculine and are more rational minded.

Something that is ruled by its emotions, feelings, and hormones and spends its life on a 4wk cycle has some guaranteed crazy(Borderline or Bipolar) in it. Why do you think women want masculine leaders to balance out their crazy so they can feel calm and keep their anxiety at bay.

Why do you think women have more anxiety issues than men? Who's the more crazy of the two sexes? Illogical brains do crazy things.

There's a reason God was a MAN and he put MAN in charge.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Call it what you want, they all have a little crazy in them.

Most people, men and women, are a little crazy. That is to expected in this crazy world. Women are generally less rational and more emotional and often need a stable man to 'ground' them, but you can reason with most of them. Maybe not in the logical/rational sense that you can with men, but I wouldn't want them to.

The ones that don't, come across as more masculine and are more rational minded.

However, I found that masculine women prefer weak/feminine men, and feminine women favour strong/masculine men, so I rarely had to deal with these 'butch' women.

Something that is ruled by its emotions, feelings, and hormones and spends its life on a 4wk cycle has some guaranteed crazy(Borderline or Bipolar) in it. Why do you think women want masculine leaders to balance out their crazy so they can feel calm and keep their anxiety at bay.

I think feminine women often enjoy masculine men who can 'ground' them due to the cyclical part of female biology destabilising even the most stable of women.

I don't think their hormone cycle is the cause of their current mental issues. I think that this 'bipolarity' started during the Industrial Revolution and especially when women were encouraged to enter the male domain of 'employment'.
First they could still be feminine behind their typewriters, but when society changed and women started doing 'masculine' factory work (during WW2, when there factory workers had to go to war), that the lines between masculine and feminine started to blur and caused mental issues. Especially when the men who returned from war now had to compete for work with women.

And that started snowballing into our current society, where people get more and more confused about 'gender roles'. Not only women changed and adopted more masculine traits, but this also happened with men who changed and adopted more feminine traits.
So, today, more (if not most) people in the Western world have mental issues.
Issues, though. Not Disorders.
When someone has Borderline Personality Disorder, they can barely function in society, they are harmful to themselves and others, and extremely prone to dying from suicide or extreme risk taking.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) was introduced in the DSM‐III in 1980. From the DSM‐III to the DSM‐5, no major changes have occurred in its defining criteria. The disorder is characterized by instability of self‐image, interpersonal relationships and affects. Further symptoms include impulsivity, intense anger, feelings of emptiness, strong abandonment fears, suicidal or self‐mutilation behavior, and transient stress‐related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms. There is evidence that BPD can be reliably diagnosed and differentiated from other mental disorders by semi‐structured interviews. The disorder is associated with considerable functional impairment, intensive treatment utilization, and high societal costs. The risk of self‐mutilation and suicide is high. In the general adult population, the lifetime prevalence of BPD has been reported to be from 0.7 to 2.7%, while its prevalence is about 12% in outpatient and 22% in inpatient psychiatric services. BPD is significantly associated with other mental disorders, including depressive disorders, substance use disorders, post‐traumatic stress disorder, attention‐deficit/hyperactivity disorder, bipolar disorder, bulimia nervosa, and other personality disorders. (Source)

True BPD patients are also quite rare (less than 3 people in a 100), so chances of ending up in a relationship with a BPD woman is not that common.

I don't have a problem with men ascribing borderline traits to women. However, from what I hear from women, they also encounter dark triad traits in virtually every man they meet. Of course, as a heterosexual male, you don't date men, so why would you notice male mental issues? So, it's likely that both men and women have traits from the Dark Triad Personality Disorders in varying degrees of severity.

Since Dark Triad people tend to relish power/dominance in relationship dynamics, there is pretty much always a 'severity gap' where the person with the higher severity of Dark Triad traits is the perpetrator and the one with fewer or less severe Dark Triad traits is the victim. These negative behaviours often cause the collapse of relationships, so a lot of angry 'victims' will claim their ex is BPD or a Psychopath or NPD, whereas I'm convinced that it's merely the dark triad traits they have in a higher degree of severity than their 'victims'.

It's like drivers calling every driver driving faster a 'maniac' and every driver driving slower than them 'idiots'.

I guess I tend to be more introspective than most men, so I looked critically at when and why I attracted women who were high on the Dark Triad scale, when I realised that I have a lot of Dark Triad traits myself. And when I was young, I exuded the 'danger' that excited and attracted Dark Triad women like crazy.

When I started to cope and manage my Dark Triad traits during my twenties, I gradually decreased exuding those traits and stopped attracting those type of women. As I mentioned before, I still dated women with some traits but way less severe as ones I previously dated. Some certainly had mental issues, but not more than the general population.

I think that you attract what resonates with you; like some men desire a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but what they get is a Dark Triad girl and you don't get to choose the severity of their mental issues.


(Manic Pixie DREAM girl. Yes, she doesn't exist.)

Dark Triad traits are real and if you have experience you can detect them easily and avoid getting hurt by people's mental issues. Most people only get experience from becoming a victim though, and their trauma is so severe that they become victims over and over again. That is part of why I opened a thread to discuss the relationship behaviours of one of my Dark Triad C-PTSD patients:

Beauty is the wrapping, not the gift.

To all the men here chasing 'hot' women, beauty is the wrapping, not the gift. My neighbour commented today on a young woman leaving my house yesterday and called her gorgeous. Delilah is, indeed, gorgeous. Tall, raven mane, cat eyes, hawk nose, cupid lips, slim and fit, reminiscent of a...

www.sosuave.net

to show that shiny apples may have poisoned worm-ridden rotten cores you'll regret biting into.

My main problem (maybe because I'm a writer and I take words and their meanings seriously) with threads like these is that some misogynists are quick to label their exes with Personality Disorders that basically puts all the blame for the failing of the relationship on the woman. And then the other misogynists (not you, @The Duke) chime in to pile on how terrible and toxic women are. With some of the more virulent members here, I wonder why they are on a forum to learn how to interact with women, when they clearly dislike/hate them.

This male victimhood is revolting and definitely not masculine.

If someone get messed up by a Dark Triad woman, they more than likely have some Dark Triad traits themselves. Just in a different way and/or a different severity, but they get to choose the women they date. What they should do is question their own judgment: why did they choose to date them in the first place?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Why do you think women have more anxiety issues than men?

Why do senior citizens get fearful and anxious in interaction with younger, fitter and stronger people? Why do the handicapped suffer more anxiety? Because their life is inherently more dangerous. I think if you'd be a woman, you'd be more anxious too.

Who's the more crazy of the two sexes?

What type of crazy? Delusional? Paranoid? Schizoid? On the inside or the outside?

I think everybody has mental issues these days. Some more severe than others. Personally, I'm more concerned about women with mental issues than men, because I don't date men. From the women I talk with I hear dating experiences on how dangerous and creepy men behave. Both sides make mistakes dating the wrong people and judging the other side as 'crazier'.

Some women with severe mental issues cut off a man's penis for adultery.
Some men with severe mental issues go on a spree shooting because they cannot get laid.
Who is 'crazier'? To tell you the truth, I don't know.

There's a reason God was a MAN and he put MAN in charge.

Yes, and that 'reason' is why we don't have religious discussions on this board.

 

[Gamisch]

I don't want to offend you, but that's anecdotal evidence. And where would be if we didn't nitpick and just accepted nonsense as gospel? People here want to learn, I guess, not fill their heads with nonsense.
View attachment 13220
I've been dating women for more than four decades.
When I was hell on wheels, in my teens and early twenties, more than half the women I dated I suspect were clinically BPD. I base this on both physically attacking me (with nail files and straight razors), going totally unhinged after breaking up, and stalking me. I didn't care though, because I was armed and lived on borrowed time and didn't care about strutting down the edge of the blade.
After surviving another near-death, I cleaned up my life. I took up martial arts and writing and starting hanging around with another type of people. Even though I hadn't published anything yet, people respected me and I became a law-abiding citizen and started dating 'normal' women. I was still quite nuts myself, so I made some choices where I still got into contact with BPD type women, but they weren't really 'disordered' so they just had the traits.
With my (semi-)criminal background, I became a 'personal security consultant' for people who run certain risks, which got me invited into hitherto inaccessible social circles, where dated women from a higher social hierarchy. Some of them merely 'trust fund affluent', others working in high-earning occupations (fashion designers, models, photographers). Some of these women were mercurial / impulsive / whimsical, but none of them tried to maim or kill me, so the level of BPD in my lovers went down sharply.
View attachment 13221
Now, I'm not a player like you, so I don't have your lay count, but I'd say I dated maybe five clinically BPD women and another five who should be certified. I don't know exactly how many women I slept with, but let's say it's around 99. That means 10% of the women I slept with were BPD. And most of the 'disturbed ones' I dated when I was under 25, half a lifetime ago.
Another thing to consider: I'm good with these type of women, so I enjoyed the relationships I had with them. I admit I sought out the twisted ones.

So even though I was attracted to and attractive to these BPD type of women, the percentage of BPD types I had sex with was around ten percent, not anywhere close to 95%.
View attachment 13223
Now, when you say you 'been with' (200x95%=) 190 bipolar women and I look at when in my life the majority of the women I dated were the most BPD, I'm starting to think that maybe it's not 95% of all women who are bipolar, just 95% of the women you dated.
From my perspective, that looks like either you were fishing in the dirty pool or you were simply a magnet due to, ahem, 'who you are'.

I believe you get the company you choose. When my darker nature was most apparent, I attracted dark triad women. And I loved them. Their kinky craziness was at the same level as their passion. Intense relationships that I didn't always survive unscathed.
But when I turned away from my darker nature, my own dark traits became less apparent, and so I become less interesting to these women and started to attract more level-headed women.

All people have dark triad traits, but few of them get them to the point where they have a Personality Disorder. And virtually every Disorder 'has difficulty forming healthy longterm relationships'. So, yes, when you just fvck every bimbo who winks at you, chances are incredibly high that you're fvcking a person with severe mental issues, maybe even a personality disorder.
Maybe even 95% of them.

Find yourself another pool to fish in.

Most people, men and women, are a little crazy. That is to expected in this crazy world. Women are generally less rational and more emotional and often need a stable man to 'ground' them, but you can reason with most of them. Maybe not in the logical/rational sense that you can with men, but I wouldn't want them to.


However, I found that masculine women prefer weak/feminine men, and feminine women favour strong/masculine men, so I rarely had to deal with these 'butch' women.


I think feminine women often enjoy masculine men who can 'ground' them due to the cyclical part of female biology destabilising even the most stable of women.

I don't think their hormone cycle is the cause of their current mental issues. I think that this 'bipolarity' started during the Industrial Revolution and especially when women were encouraged to enter the male domain of 'employment'.
First they could still be feminine behind their typewriters, but when society changed and women started doing 'masculine' factory work (during WW2, when there factory workers had to go to war), that the lines between masculine and feminine started to blur and caused mental issues. Especially when the men who returned from war now had to compete for work with women.
View attachment 13224
And that started snowballing into our current society, where people get more and more confused about 'gender roles'. Not only women changed and adopted more masculine traits, but this also happened with men who changed and adopted more feminine traits.
So, today, more (if not most) people in the Western world have mental issues.
Issues, though. Not Disorders.
When someone has Borderline Personality Disorder, they can barely function in society, they are harmful to themselves and others, and extremely prone to dying from suicide or extreme risk taking.



True BPD patients are also quite rare (less than 3 people in a 100), so chances of ending up in a relationship with a BPD woman is not that common.

I don't have a problem with men ascribing borderline traits to women. However, from what I hear from women, they also encounter dark triad traits in virtually every man they meet. Of course, as a heterosexual male, you don't date men, so why would you notice male mental issues? So, it's likely that both men and women have traits from the Dark Triad Personality Disorders in varying degrees of severity.

Since Dark Triad people tend to relish power/dominance in relationship dynamics, there is pretty much always a 'severity gap' where the person with the higher severity of Dark Triad traits is the perpetrator and the one with fewer or less severe Dark Triad traits is the victim. These negative behaviours often cause the collapse of relationships, so a lot of angry 'victims' will claim their ex is BPD or a Psychopath or NPD, whereas I'm convinced that it's merely the dark triad traits they have in a higher degree of severity than their 'victims'.

It's like drivers calling every driver driving faster a 'maniac' and every driver driving slower than them 'idiots'.

I guess I tend to be more introspective than most men, so I looked critically at when and why I attracted women who were high on the Dark Triad scale, when I realised that I have a lot of Dark Triad traits myself. And when I was young, I exuded the 'danger' that excited and attracted Dark Triad women like crazy.

When I started to cope and manage my Dark Triad traits during my twenties, I gradually decreased exuding those traits and stopped attracting those type of women. As I mentioned before, I still dated women with some traits but way less severe as ones I previously dated. Some certainly had mental issues, but not more than the general population.

I think that you attract what resonates with you; like some men desire a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but what they get is a Dark Triad girl and you don't get to choose the severity of their mental issues.

The second post is also true. Think about it. We push one another to run game, approach ,mack ect. The problem with this tho, is You'll keep attracting the same type of women. So yes, eventually you'll conclude that "all women are yxz" because all you ever known was xyz.

quoting myself. Most lays I got were "pure luck". Just a matter of being at the right place at the right time. I have no secret on running game or whatever.

However, I also agree that I definitely attract a specific type of woman. Mostly women that want a "tupac with a degree", and think that I will be that guy who will bail them out. I have extremely high standards so most of the time I reject them ( after sleeping with them).

The fact I attract such women is the effect of me focusing mainly on women. @All_Kindz_Of_Gainz is saying it over and over again: FIRST fix you shyte, only then you should be gaming . I didn't listen. So yes, my bracket is low tier women.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

The ones that don't, come across as more masculine and are more rational minded.

true, I've noticed this as well. Infact, just getting to know a young woman who's this.

 

[Divorced w 3]

This is how men become when they've been f*cked over a few times: all women are bad and out to ruin you. Except for their mommy, of course, although they see how their fathers cowered before her, and they loathe their father's weakness.

You're right, Haley. All women are bad. Men are good, maybe you should go the other way.

My mother is absolutely vile. Her mother abandoned her, then they all went running back to mommy years later proclaiming her a living saint ; my mother lives a parallel existence most recently taking the side of my former spouse absolutely wrongly and assuring my removal of her from the infinitesimal amount of time she does see me and her grandchildren.

This has been incredibly hard, but also a long time coming, and with closure, healing can begin. Off to therapy in a few. lol.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

my mother lives a parallel existence

When my mother was evaluated by a doctor on whether my mother was showing signs of dementia, he asked me, "Since when does your mother have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy?"
"All her life?" I said. "Although she just calls her fantasy life 'real'. And you're the one in the fantasy world."