I wonder how women feel

[Clockwerk50]

I don’t think I can add much, as I believe The Duke was extremely thorough in his response. In my opinion, there are two stages in a woman's prime and post-prime where they enjoy attention differently.

The first stage is when they initially experience attention and compete with other women for it. This competition can involve factors like physical appearance, fashion, surgeries, makeup, hair, social media followers, travel, and dining at upscale restaurants. They want to feel famous and have their fans.

The second stage occurs when they try to settle down and focus their efforts on gaining the attention of a specific high-value man (HVM). During this phase, they become less interested in the attention of men they don’t value and they are actually disgusted by them.

For example, my neighbor, who was a law clerk, used to wake up at 4:00 a.m. to attract the attention of a sought-after lawyer, and she eventually married him. I’ve mentioned her before, and this reminds me of a video I’ve linked below.

To emphasize this point, in the article "You Are Not Her Top Choice," it’s noted that when her phone vibrates or rings, she gets excited, hoping it’s from her top choice. If she sees it’s from someone lower on her list, disappointment sets in, and she begins to associate that person with disappointment.

 

[Solomon]

Most women do not think in-depth about the dating plight of men from a man's perspective, I mean why would they? women assume that all men they go after are players or don't wanna commit etc. However these are men that women fancy, the guy they don't fancy isn't even on the radar.

Most women don't realize how hard it is for men because most men are not in the conversation. When women talk about men, they are talking about the men they value and desire. The guy who is not hot, the guy who gives them the "ICK" those guys are not in the running and the only time those guys come up is as a punchline for a joke.

I do remember a conversation I had with a chick I used to hook up with back in 2019, we fell out and went out again In 2022 for one date and she got fat to the horror of my eyes. You have to understand this chick use to have a really nice body and let herself go (before she had a tight runner's body and was a gym rat). The girl basically realized that the "pretty privilege" she enjoyed was gone and was lamenting about the fact about how easy she used to have it in life espeically with men. The guys who used to ask "How High?" when she said "Jump". Those guys weren't checking for her at all. So I do think women start to realize that as they age, get fatter or whenever life hits them back down to reality, especially if they aren't able to garner the attraction from men that they used to garner attraction from (former fit girl use to date multi-millionaires, fly on jets, you know the Koko Beaute lifestyle) Some women get bitter. This is why you see a fat chick who may be delusional it's because she used to be hot and was able to get away with stuff like that but now that she is fat it doesn't work anymore. Especially if you're talking to a former hot chick who got fat or ugly. Life humbles them. I noticed two things happen 1. Those chicks get in shape again with the quickness or 2. They just accept their new reality and become comfortable

 

[saige]

I have this to add. It can be really tiring at times. Most of the times, the sort of approaches and attention are solely based on physical appearance. It can be in an environment where there's zero interest in getting approached, or she could be taken, all sorts of factors should be considered.

Considering I've been steady with my amazing boyfriend for the past half year, I view these approaches as much more bothersome now. I have recently asked him to accompany me to the gym (he doesn't workout that much, but just to keep company) and in public to not be bothered. My friends who are taken have similar opinions. When I'm with him in public I'll never be approached by anyone which is nice, I just wish it could happen when I walked alone too.

I just wanted to add this perspective. I understand the frustration that women might have it easier because of all the opportunities/approaches but you have to take in account how some women feel about it.

If 30-40% of the female population is taken, 10% aren't looking for a relationship, 1-5% are lesbian, 10% are too old or ugly to be considered by any dude, that leaves a lower % who are:
1) Single and on the lookout
2) Somewhat attractive and in your age range
2) Attracted to men and embodies your guys definition of "feminine"

Then of course that leaves a smaller% of women you'd have to consider in how they feel about being approached.

 

[Bingo-Player]

For those who say women have it easy in dating : Men drown in sand, while women drown in swamp.

From a male perspective, it's easy to get jealous to someone getting so much attention, but once you got all that attention you realize it's mainly bad quality attention. Males want to have sexual intercourses mainly, while women want to be understood and have someone on the same emotional level as them - and of course that someone has to be attractive, otherwise he is the equivalent of a lamp : there to put light on them and nothing else.

Also, for those you say that only women feel the decline in dating interests towards them through the age, you are delusional. Males age very poorly aswell, sometimes even worse.

None of that will stop a woman from working that abundance of attention to her advantage while she can

Yea its a double ended sword because ultimately that overflow of attention begins to sour for her but in the short term I.E her 20's lifes a dream because men will bend over backwards to provide anything she needs

its when she gets older and wiser and starts realising quality and intent of the attention isn't all it cracked up to be , then it begins to sour

Males do age poorly when they don't exercise or look after themselves , women age poorly full stop

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Women get to experience the only real downside to being attractive: People will talk to you even when you just want to be alone doing your own thing. Of trying to chill
anonymously in the background.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I have this to add. It can be really tiring at times. Most of the times, the sort of approaches and attention are solely based on physical appearance. It can be in an environment where there's zero interest in getting approached, or she could be taken, all sorts of factors should be considered.

Considering I've been steady with my amazing boyfriend for the past half year, I view these approaches as much more bothersome now. I have recently asked him to accompany me to the gym (he doesn't workout that much, but just to keep company) and in public to not be bothered. My friends who are taken have similar opinions. When I'm with him in public I'll never be approached by anyone which is nice, I just wish it could happen when I walked alone too.

I just wanted to add this perspective. I understand the frustration that women might have it easier because of all the opportunities/approaches but you have to take in account how some women feel about it.

Women only think about themselves. They don't think about other women. What if other women want to be approached? A simple trick for women who do not want to be hit on is to wear a ring. It will cut down on a lot of approaches. Another tactic is to wear frumpy cloths and not wear makeup.

If you are alone and attractive, expect men to notice. Women have to take into account how men are.. their biological wiring Its like the guy who drives an expensive car; has expensive cloths; is healthy and is fit; but complains every time he goes to the beach in his expensive car because women always hit on him... OoooOooooOOh... how rough it is for some people?

A lot of woman are always thinking about themselves and expect other people to change while disregarding thousands of years of evolution. If you don't want to be hit on, dress ugly, don't wear makeup, be with a guy, etc.. etc..

When I was younger, whenever I got to a gay club to meet up with friends who were gay, people would approach me and try to flirt with me. Did i tell all the gay people to "take into account how a heterosexual man feel about this?" Heck no... I just stop meeting my friends at those clubs. It wasn't their fault for acting like this. It was my fault for not knowing the social contract. Go to a gay bar, expect to be hit on by gay people.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

I'll use my most recent ex as an example to answer this question.

To the question, of do women have a better dating experience than us, the answer is yes.

The longer answer is yes, but only for a little while.

My ex is very attractive and very wealthy.

She's got all the options in the world...now...but once her looks start to fade, that's it. She probably has about 5 more good years if she takes care of herself.

What would you say is the realistic age window from which women start to experience a decline?

Generally women have a very very easy ride in the dating market

I mean an attractive woman in even a moderately sized city is probably able to be entertained 7 nights a week by different men

She has the luxury of then splitting them off into different categories

FWB
ONS
Boyfriend activites
Freindzone
Entertainment providers
Accommodation providers

Etc etc

Its a fun time to be a young pretty woman

The fun stops when they actually want to settle but because they've had such massive exposure to so many different types of men offering different things they have no idea what they actually want and aren't really satisfied with what they get

This is very interesting and I think it's quite accurate, I've met many girls who've had a multitude of men providing different things to them. All the men want the same thing (to lay her) but she wants different things from them and only sees them in their neat category.

Do you think the problem for women is that they want a bit of everything but can't find a person that seems to encapsulate all?

Women are human beings, they suffer from the paradox of choice, with many men after them its overwhelming. While they do enjoy the attention, when they see so many feminine men, puzzy pleasers and beggars, they get disgusted and only use those guys as tampons.

Imagine you having so many options that you can't make your mind, its not good. That's why you have to become your best self, never allow disrespect, always willing to walk away.

I think the problem is we men would wish to have an easy abundance of female attention. Our community preaches and often times idealizes the goal of developing an abundance of women. Women seem to have this abundance over men automatically by the simple fact of being (ofcourse with a level of acceptable physical looks), added on with the gender and dating dynamic being that they are the ones that are pursued by us. So it's hard to imagine how having an abundance of attention would be negative to them. If I had an easy and effortless abundance of attention, I would feel empowered in the dating sphere. Yes it does not mean I would entertain all attention, obviously I would have my pick over girls that I truly desired. But it just seems easier for them that they just wait and see what happens. I've experienced this in past dating with multiple plates that were very into me, I was not really into them but their attention entertained me during moments of boredom, they sort of spun themselves and I imagine women have this feeling x10 or maybe even x100 times more.

There will always be balance in life. Always.

If you are a man who keeps grinding to improve himself, you'll constantly/occasionally cross paths with women that fancy you and view YOU as an 8+. No it's not as easy as having a p00sy. But when a woman does chase you she'll go all in. And that's where you wanna be as a man. Your lifestyle, presence, charm ect should do the work for you. Heck, it's all a man should be about.

Women are busy being chased while men should be busy building their personal empire so they get to chase the best women available to them, or even better: make them chase you!

It's pointless trying to experience the female way of dating as a man. Men who do this oftentimes are dependent on women to take care of them. Basically reversing roles and thus giving up and wasting valuable time and energy that should be going into building that empire

This is such an amazing view. Thank you for sharing.

Men and women really are not that much different. A man, spoiled for choice, will behave just like women do. It's really not that hard to imagine.

All a man can do is always strive for self-improvement and be the best version of himself that he can, try to make dates, then see what happens. Then, and this is the most important mindset a man has to have.... it is better to be alone than chained to a woman that really doesn't love you for who and what you are. So a man has to learn how to know if a woman really loves him and set aside his personal feelings because she doesn't really give flying fvck about his feelings, only how HE makes HER feel.

A man that loses emotional self-control never ends well and will always get taken advantage of or end up in court.

This is so true. Increasingly I am starting to see that a woman's presence in a man's life is extremely conditional based on my past experiences. Unlike romantic notions of love, a woman's presence in your life is actually very fickle. The moment you become an inconvenience to them, you're out. Yet if they are an inconvenience to you, our society through culture (romance, being a good man, shaming, etc) and legal institutions (marriage) forces you to deal with it. Women are forever the victims and we get repercussions if we really exude or act on any emotional instability we feel from them.

Don’t think women are satisfied just because they can easily get sex. Most women want a relationship. And that can be difficult for them to get. Many settle for their ‘not-first-choice’. .

What do you think is the consequence of them settling for their 'not-first-choice', is it a life of secret resentment for them? Or will they inevitably cheat?

 

[jamesfromhouston]

A few thoughts:

-I once got hit on by 4 gay guys in one night. The first one was strange, the second one was funny, the third one was annoying, and by the 4th guy I was ready to smash his face in. After that the light came on for me. I understood how women must feel getting hit on by guys they have no interest in. I've had a few fat/ugly/mediocre girls hit on me as well and I'm annoyed every time. It almost deflates my ego a bit.

-Women also have a hard time making decisions when given options. Ever ask your girlfriend where she wants to go eat? Present them with too much choice and they struggle every time. They aren't great at evaluating their options. Most lack the analytical capacity to do so. Its no surprise most great analytical minds are male.

-Every guy out there is trying to fuhk her, she has to figure out which ones are worthy and are willing to be relationship potential. Most men fail.

-When you have multiple pursuers, you look for the negatives so you can quickly dismiss them. Thats why first impressions are so critical with women. They don't give second chances during the dating process. A guy that doesn't know what he is doing will get blown out quickly and not get a 2nd date.

-Women feel dating fatigue when they get tired of meeting men that are clueless idiots, lie about who they are, and/or act feminine and don't lead.

-A woman will want to connect with your mind and heart. Sure physical attraction is great, but its the connection that ignites feelings in her. Most guys don't know how to connect.

My statements above are from experiences I've had and many women that have said the same thing over the years. This stuff also doesn't really apply for women just wanting some random dihk. Its more for relationship minded females.

This is great sharing. In a way, I sort of get it. On the reverse side from the perspective of men who have abundance, I feel many women go out on dates pretending to be chill and casual with you but secretly they want to tie you down if you have high SMV. Obviously I am talking about the women who are not worthy. They are sneaky about it. They might even put up up with you, use their cooch, have great sex with it. But gradually, they start to bring up or introduce the LTR element. It almost feels like being hunted at times, like a hunter with a trap and snare. Its tiring at times to think many women who hangout with you might want to tie you down when sometimes you're really just leaving it up in the air, see how things progress but many of these women are desperate.

I have this to add. It can be really tiring at times. Most of the times, the sort of approaches and attention are solely based on physical appearance. It can be in an environment where there's zero interest in getting approached, or she could be taken, all sorts of factors should be considered.

Considering I've been steady with my amazing boyfriend for the past half year, I view these approaches as much more bothersome now. I have recently asked him to accompany me to the gym (he doesn't workout that much, but just to keep company) and in public to not be bothered.

What if the guys who are approaching you are actually attractive guys? Do you feel good? Would you entertain them a bit longer than the others? And what if they are, by impression, substantially better than your bf? Do you make friends with them? Exchange contacts? Again you have an anonymous account so hope you can share openly about it.

Women get to experience the only real downside to being attractive: People will talk to you even when you just want to be alone doing your own thing. Of trying to chill
anonymously in the background.

That's true. Once I was on a phone with one of my plates, our conversation was interrupted when someone tried to approach her even while she was not the phone. Pretended to ask for directions then tried to chat her up.

 

[BPH]

What would you say is the realistic age window from which women start to experience a decline?

I don't think it's set in stone...I don't know if you've seen Salma Hayek lately, but she's 57...and she can still absolutely get it.

It's just that most people don't take care of themselves. There are plenty of hot college girls...there are less hot 30-year-olds...and even less hot 40-year-olds... and so on. People think they can do what they've been doing forever and look the same as they used to.

 

[Bingo-Player]

This is very interesting and I think it's quite accurate, I've met many girls who've had a multitude of men providing different things to them. All the men want the same thing (to lay her) but she wants different things from them and only sees them in their neat category.

Do you think the problem for women is that they want a bit of everything but can't find a person that seems to encapsulate all?

As have I and it usually leads to split brat entitled behaviours which men should by default find very unattractive in women. ( I certainly do )

yet most modern men do not they just continue to supplicate which is perpetuating the bad behaviour

What's worse is men with actual resources and power are enabling this bad behaviour and bad attitude so women can literally do whatever they want and still have their cake and eat it

You give a human too much of anything and eventually their going to get sick of it and find a way to ruin it

This is what women are currently doing with their power in the dating market

 

[jhonny9546]

So a man has to learn how to know if a woman really loves him and set aside his personal feelings because she doesn't really give flying fvck about his feelings, only how HE makes HER feel.

This is very interesting! Would you like to expand?
First, how do you know "woman really loves him". We can be sure right?
Second, "only how HE makes HER feel". This is probably the thing I hear the most from my sister about his GF.

 

[jhonny9546]

act feminine and don't lead.

Do major 3 examples of this please and how to solve em.

Most guys don't know how to connect.

This quote indirectly say that a woman know how to connect with a man by default.
Could he trust her?
And how do you know you're on the correct way of connetting to her?
I can easly do deep conversation, but still prone to be very much logic.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

After that the light came on for me. I understood how women must feel getting hit on by guys they have no interest in. I've had a few fat/ugly/mediocre girls hit on me as well and I'm annoyed every time. It almost deflates my ego a bit.

When I was younger, I used to rely mostly on my verbal skills to reel women in. I'm not photogenic, but women like my face. Not instantly, but women often claimed they were attracted to my mischievous green eyes. I was obviously having fun and they wanted to be part of that.
When my eye got damaged in 2015 and I started to wear an eyepatch to shield it from direct light, I didn't like looking handicapped, but I found that instead of decreasing, my attractiveness actually increased. Women came up to me to flirt with me, something that hadn't happened previously. On one hand it was flattering, but I was also acutely aware that apparently it took disfigurement to make me attractive.
In 2021 I went with a lover to her family in Prague and she arranged for me to buy a Maine Coon kitten that I had to carry around CZ for six days before we went back to Amsterdam. After those six days, Klook was used to going everywhere with me, so instead of leaving him at home alone, I take him with me into town. He likes to observe the lower lifeforms.

The (female) attention I received before 2021 was welcome and not too intrusive, but walking around with a shoulder cat taught me what it's like to be approached constantly when you just want to be by yourself. As with a beautiful woman, people stop me in the street to talk with me, to take photos, to share about their cats, to touch Klook.

I had a lover who had long chestnut curls she was very proud of, but she was tempted to cut it off because people stopped her in the street and wanted to touch her hair. And, like with Klook, people would just touch her hair without asking permission.

It's mainly because of annoying people that I carry my cane everywhere. So I can keep the dildos at a distance.



But, yes, I know what it feels like to be a 'photo opportunity' and the level of attention is probably close to what an attractive woman would have to deal with on a daily basis. I'm not surprised beautiful women pretend to be aloof. They love a normal conversation without people drooling over them.

 

[RangerMIke]

no... gay men are basically spoiled by choice. since there is no restrain, the average gay man will have a lot more partners than the average woman.

an average straight man will try to have as many partners as possible given a choice, while the average woman will not. women and men are different.

Men and women have different motivations, and are judged by culture different. Behavior is the same. A man that has no problems getting women will behave the same way women behave. I agree it is rare, the man has to have great looks, is famous, and has a lot of disposable income does not have problems getting women.... so he really doesn't value sex. All you have to do is look at men that fit this category. For even the average woman, getting lots of men is easy, so she really doesn't value sex... it's just another biological function that has to be done like sleep and eating.

However, I agree... a man is judged by how many women he can get... a woman is judged by her ability to screen out men that are not good for her. A man that lands a lot of women indicates he has high value: a woman that gets a lot of men... well... that isn't very hard for her... so it indicates she does not have the ability to screen out men so her value is low. The current emerging culture of 'you go girl' does not shame women for this behavior so she does this but will always wonder why she is being judged.

I am not being political, just using this as an example of how culture deals with sex. Trump has a history of questionable behavior with women, but many people do not have a problem with this: Harris OTOH is judged by accusations that she used sex as a tool for career advancement.

 

[RangerMIke]

This is very interesting! Would you like to expand?
First, how do you know "woman really loves him". We can be sure right?
Second, "only how HE makes HER feel". This is probably the thing I hear the most from my sister about his GF.

A man has to be honest and un-apologetic about who he is and what he is and wants. This runs in direct opposition to all the PUA stuff that is out there. You have to abandon all the 'game' techniques. Game is fine, if all you want to do is bang chicks and more on, but if a man is looking for a connection that can be maintained he has to be painfully honest.

If you are your honest self, and she continues to put an effort into maintaining a connection... well this is a strong indication that she loves you. A woman in love will walk over broken glass to be with you... if you want a relationship with a woman, THIS should be your goal.

Now the hard part. To attract a woman, you have to be the best version of yourself, meaning you have to hit the gym... dress well in clothes you are comfortable in. Take care of you career and finances.... get out and make quality friends. This will attract more women.

Now the frustrating part. What a woman wants and needs changes like the weather. You have to be the captain of the ship, stay on course and not allow her fleeting emotional chaos pull you off center. She might drift off and make things difficult from time to time, and when this happens you just have to let her go, and date other women... if she loves you she will come back, then you get to decide if you want her back. You are pulling out of port if she is onboard or not, but if she gets on the ship... then she MUST be part of the crew and not a first-class passenger lounging on the deck while you bring her drinks.

She has to work for you, and if she isn't or wont then she really doesn't love you... and if your goal is to be in a relationship, then you have to move on no matter how you feel... this is emotional self-control... which a man must master.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I don’t think comparing a straight guy being hit on by a gay guy is equivalent to a woman being hit on by a man.

Straight men's physiological stress response to seeing two men kissing is the same as seeing maggots

In heterosexual men, pictures of rotting flesh, maggots and spoiled food induce the same physiological stress response as pictures of two men kissing each

www.psypost.org

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Never confuse lots of options with good options.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Behavior is the same. A man that has no problems getting women will behave the same way women behave.

I disagree. men will have a lot of sex with a lot of women IF THEY COULD. Woman on average do not do this. it's biological. for every woman who has slept with a hundred men, there is a man who has slept with a thousand women.

Men and women act differently. the average woman can go out and get laid by dozens of men every day of the week if she wants, but she doesn't. the average man can't do this. However, if he could he WOULD. woman want that single High value man.. she might monkey branch but that's to replace one man, with another higher value man. Men just want to F even if the girl is plain (or even ugly).

in a world where women don't discriminate men. in a world where women are as horney as men, there would be a lot more sex happening. in the gay community where there isn't a biological imperative to be "picky", there is so much more sex happening. SooooooooOoo if women were as horney as men, there would be a lot more heterosexual sex period.

even when men are in committed relationship, men still want to have sex with other women - mistress, cheating, etc.. I'm not saying women don't think about cheating. but they think about it less often... HOWEVER, when they do think about it, there's a higher chance women can make it happen.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

When I was younger, I used to rely mostly on my verbal skills to reel women in. I'm not photogenic, but women like my face. Not instantly, but women often claimed they were attracted to my mischievous green eyes. I was obviously having fun and they wanted to be part of that.
When my eye got damaged in 2015 and I started to wear an eyepatch to shield it from direct light, I didn't like looking handicapped, but I found that instead of decreasing, my attractiveness actually increased. Women came up to me to flirt with me, something that hadn't happened previously. On one hand it was flattering, but I was also acutely aware that apparently it took disfigurement to make me attractive.
In 2021 I went with a lover to her family in Prague and she arranged for me to buy a Maine Coon kitten that I had to carry around CZ for six days before we went back to Amsterdam. After those six days, Klook was used to going everywhere with me, so instead of leaving him at home alone, I take him with me into town. He likes to observe the lower lifeforms.

The (female) attention I received before 2021 was welcome and not too intrusive, but walking around with a shoulder cat taught me what it's like to be approached constantly when you just want to be by yourself. As with a beautiful woman, people stop me in the street to talk with me, to take photos, to share about their cats, to touch Klook.

I had a lover who had long chestnut curls she was very proud of, but she was tempted to cut it off because people stopped her in the street and wanted to touch her hair. And, like with Klook, people would just touch her hair without asking permission.

It's mainly because of annoying people that I carry my cane everywhere. So I can keep the dildos at a distance.

View attachment 13011

But, yes, I know what it feels like to be a 'photo opportunity' and the level of attention is probably close to what an attractive woman would have to deal with on a daily basis. I'm not surprised beautiful women pretend to be aloof. They love a normal conversation without people drooling over them.

Incredible story. Inspiring. Thank you for the candid sharing.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Men and women have different motivations, and are judged by culture different. Behavior is the same. A man that has no problems getting women will behave the same way women behave. I agree it is rare, the man has to have great looks, is famous, and has a lot of disposable income does not have problems getting women.... so he really doesn't value sex. All you have to do is look at men that fit this category. For even the average woman, getting lots of men is easy, so she really doesn't value sex... it's just another biological function that has to be done like sleep and eating.

I agree with you on this. Never thought about it this way but its true I think when we have an abundance of choice, especially those of us who have experienced having a lot of plates at one point, we don't really value sex as much (at least for me). We don't have that desperation for women. At times you get tired and can't be bothered to even hangout with them sometimes and just want alone time, especially when they are needy and attention seeking. During times of plate abundance, we experience the paradox of choice where we hangout with one girl and we regret and think time would be spent with another and then by the end of it, it turns out none of them really make you truly fulfilled. I assume this is how women feel by default of having an abundance of men.