Dinner Dates, Coffee, and Drinks

[holidayad_]

I've recently taken a couple women out for drinks and/or coffee. The date seems to go well, but then all of a sudden after the date, she stops texting me. Sometimes she'll talk to me a bit after the date and then stop.

I learned from the RP community not to take women on dinner dates, because they often use it to get a free meal.

When I joined this community almost two years ago I did not know what I know today, so I made the mistake of taking a woman out to dinner on the first date.

Coincidence or not, she was the only one who didn't make it to the second.

I've also taken another girl out for drinks on a first date and she kept talking about leaving and going to a Japanese restaurant across the street.

In this case, I realized that she was looking for a free meal. I ruled it out.

However, these days, even just getting drinks can be a $70-100 date.

Last week I went for drinks with a chick which was the most expensive date I've had so far.

4 drinks (2 for each) + an appetizer = 60 euros.

It depends on the spot.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

What do you talk about? Well if you know anything about her you pick subjects you know she’s interested in, if not you ask questions. On my last initial date we talked about working out, what we do for them etc., kids, tattoos, she asked to see mine which required lifting up my shirt to see a few (which she loved and traced them with her fingers . We talked about her new car, about music, I asked if she liked to dance, we talked about tequilas, we talked about beaches and surfing, live music…you know like a normal conversation, normal people have.

If you’re a troglodyte and you don’t know how to even keep a conversation alive you have no business trying to date chicks, you’ll fail 99/100 times. You need to be a renaissance man as they say, be knowledgeable enough about many subjects to hold a conversation thread, be passionate about something, be mysterious and playful. In order to be these things a man has to develop his knowledge, read classics, be an expert at interesting things, and smile a lot, try it, it’s contagious.

Oh and know the inside jokes about many things, women love to laugh.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Which is why it should be low key and something you can get away from within 15 minutes if things don't go as expected.

which kind of defeats the point of a date you're better off saying

" hey I am going to XYZ on XYZ do you want to come" then if it goes wrong you can just make an excuse and leave

I dont think the " are you free on XYZ day for us to do dinner drinks whatever " works at all

 

[Learning Curve]

I've recently taken a couple women out for drinks and/or coffee. The date seems to go well, but then all of a sudden after the date, she stops texting me. Sometimes she'll talk to me a bit after the date and then stop.

I learned from the RP community not to take women on dinner dates, because they often use it to get a free meal. However, these days, even just getting drinks can be a $70-100 date.

It seems like women are catching on to men not wanting to go on dinner dates, so they act like the date is going well until they get what they want.

Have any of you fellas had similar experiences?

Learn to filter the ones that are truly interested, from the ones that want to waste your time.

Also, switch places with a woman, and let her pay on the second place. This way you will find out if she is there just for the free meal.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

which kind of defeats the point of a date you're better off saying

" hey I am going to XYZ on XYZ do you want to come" then if it goes wrong you can just make an excuse and leave

I dont think the " are you free on XYZ day for us to do dinner drinks whatever " works at all

Works fine with different wording:

“Let’s meet for coffee tomorrow morning at 9am at Maggianos in Ladera.” Bam. She’s in. And with any luck I’ll be like Flynn, which I was.

I really think so many people have all these notions about how things MUST GO, fack I think most guys are terrified of women, which is why there are all these dumb rules they think they must follow. So facking rigid I’m sure they’re all wound up so tight they’re going to fail anyway.

JFC

 

[Agamemnon43]

By inviting her to dinner on the first date you show you are ready to invest alot without even knowing her. It screams desperation. You should be like: "I'll pay for a drink or two, let's see if i like this woman enough."

 

[BaronOfHair]

“Let’s meet for coffee tomorrow morning at 9am at Maggianos in Ladera.”

Hell, you can even be doubly innovative, by extending that invitation in the form of a song, like so

 

[BackInTheGame78]

which kind of defeats the point of a date you're better off saying

" hey I am going to XYZ on XYZ do you want to come" then if it goes wrong you can just make an excuse and leave

I dont think the " are you free on XYZ day for us to do dinner drinks whatever " works at all

It's semantics at that point. All you do is say, "it was nice meeting you but I don't really feel like this is going to work out."

Why are people so afraid to be honest and tell the truth?

 

[BaronOfHair]

Learn to filter the ones that are truly interested, from the ones that want to waste your time

Yep. As was mentioned in a prior thread https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/embarrassing-huge-adds-plastered-over-the-forum.282171/

It's prudent to play the following words 14:10-14:40
https://www.kqed.org/forum/201011011000/the-business-of-power

for any woman you're contemplating bringing into your bed and your life, then ask her: "What are you're thoughts on this? Not your FEELINGS, but your thoughts?" Those who reply "I couldn't agree more", "It's true", or any variation thereof are worthy investments

You can spare yourself an immense amount of heartache by ending the date immediately, with gals who respond to this question by

-Ducking and diving

-Yapping about their feelings anyway

-Answer in a fashion similar to the disjointed rambling heard between 28:36-30:15 of the above interview

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

-Answer in a fashion similar to the disjointed rambling heard between 28:36-30:15 of the above interview

Is there a way to fast forward?

 

[BadWatermelon]

It's semantics at that point. All you do is say, "it was nice meeting you but I don't really feel like this is going to work out."

Why are people so afraid to be honest and tell the truth?

I've noticed that people on the east coast are more direct than they are on the west coast. Maybe it's one of those things?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've noticed that people on the east coast are more direct than they are on the west coast. Maybe it's one of those things?

I dunno...you are a grown man and talking to someone you don't even know and will never see again. I just don't think it should be that hard.

No need to make them feel bad or be disrespectful, but also no need to sit and play Tiddlywinks and Pattycake for another hour either.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Is there a way to fast forward?

When you click on the red icon labeled "Listen", a bar labelled "Forum" appears at the bottom of the page. Click on that bar, and a dial will appear, the likes of which will allow you to listen to fast forward. I really recommend listening to the entire interview, and reading Pfeffer's book as well

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

When you click on the red icon labeled "Listen", a bar labelled "Forum" appears at the bottom of the page. Click on that bar, and a dial will appear, the likes of which will allow you to listen to fast forward. I really recommend listening to the entire interview, and reading Pfeffer's book as well

Sorry, doesn't work for me, but I'll take your word for it.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Sorry, doesn't work for me, but I'll take your word for it.

Alternate way of a vetting a woman... Show her this brief video

then ask the same question: "What are your thoughts on this? Not your FEELINGS, but your thoughts?" Those who reply "I couldn't agree more", "It's true", or any variation thereof are worthy investments

Call things off immediately, with those who either hem and haw, or who are unable to comprehend the message being communicated. Not even being hyperbolic here: Gals of this ilk have a value system that's not going to gel with the "Classically Masculine" way of existing

 

[pipeman84]

What do you talk about? Well if you know anything about her you pick subjects you know she’s interested in, if not you ask questions. On my last initial date we talked about working out, what we do for them etc., kids, tattoos, she asked to see mine which required lifting up my shirt to see a few (which she loved and traced them with her fingers . We talked about her new car, about music, I asked if she liked to dance, we talked about tequilas, we talked about beaches and surfing, live music…you know like a normal conversation, normal people have.

If you’re a troglodyte and you don’t know how to even keep a conversation alive you have no business trying to date chicks, you’ll fail 99/100 times. You need to be a renaissance man as they say, be knowledgeable enough about many subjects to hold a conversation thread, be passionate about something, be mysterious and playful. In order to be these things a man has to develop his knowledge, read classics, be an expert at interesting things, and smile a lot, try it, it’s contagious.

Oh and know the inside jokes about many things, women love to laugh.

I have a hard time picturing a truly renaissance man going on dates with random women from apps. Even more incredible, women who are +30yrs old.
Firstly, because to stay on top of all his interests, job/businesses it means his free time is very limited.

Secondly, very unlikely he's going to enjoy spending that scarce resource to make small talk about beaches, surfing and tequilas with random women with loads of baggage and issues.

Thirdly, he meets enough people through his activities, interests and extended social circle.

 

[Dean Gladwyn]

I've recently taken a couple women out for drinks and/or coffee. The date seems to go well, but then all of a sudden after the date, she stops texting me. Sometimes she'll talk to me a bit after the date and then stop.

I learned from the RP community not to take women on dinner dates, because they often use it to get a free meal. However, these days, even just getting drinks can be a $70-100 date.

It seems like women are catching on to men not wanting to go on dinner dates, so they act like the date is going well until they get what they want.

Have any of you fellas had similar experiences?

i think it depends where you meet the women personally. Although saying that, there is alot of dates that are 'free' to go on, walks down the beach, hike. Even a coffee date is no more than £15

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I have a hard time picturing a truly renaissance man going on dates with random women from apps. Even more incredible, women who are +30yrs old.
Firstly, because to stay on top of all his interests, job/businesses it means his free time is very limited.

Secondly, very unlikely he's going to enjoy spending that scarce resource to make small talk about beaches, surfing and tequilas with random women with loads of baggage and issues.

Thirdly, he meets enough people through his activities, interests and extended social circle.

Umadbro?

Anecdotally, based on your previous posts, what you’re doing is not getting you laid. Even if you hadn’t posted about it, your attitude and posts make it obvious. But like most dissatisfied men, you veil it with having “high standards”.

I hope things improve, I’m worried about you.

 

[pipeman84]

Umadbro?

Anecdotally, based on your previous posts, what you’re doing is not getting you laid. Even if you hadn’t posted about it, your attitude and posts make it obvious. But like most dissatisfied men, you veil it with having “high standards”.

I hope things improve, I’m worried about you.

Not mad at all. That second part of your post, - one has to be this and that, a renaissance man - just seemed highly incongruous in the context of swipe apps and past the wall women ... kind of like talking about how one has to have this and that quality, an MBA even, to apply for minimum wage paying jobs.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Not mad at all. That second part of your post, - one has to be this and that, a renaissance man - just seemed highly incongruous in the context of swipe apps and past the wall women ... kind of like talking about how one has to have this and that quality, an MBA even, to apply for minimum wage paying jobs.

As we’ve discussed ad nauseam for years on the forum, everyone has their strategies. The strategies I describe do not work for everyone because not everyone fits the the mold I do or has the willpower to follow them - they are certainly not panacea - all a man can do is describe his own successes, in an attempt to help those less fortunate.

Some men prefer to sit around and discuss strategies that are unachievable for them, using it as an excuse for their lack of initiative and crippling insecurity.

Just because online dating (OLD) doesn’t work for you (resulting in limited access to women you find attractive), it doesn’t mean that men in other parts of the world or country don’t succeed online. Similarly, not all women, older than your hypothetical 22-year-old virgin are unattractive, as you might have us believe.

Furthermore, not all single or divorced moms fit the negative stereotypes you’ve perpetuated over the years. And just because you’ve (allegedly) had bad experiences doesn’t mean that other men describing their methods or successes are lying or dating unattractive women.

Be well.

p.s. Incidentally, I've noticed that you do not describe interactions you've had with women, or offer any advice to other men on the forum. Most of your posts consist or "only date 22 year old virgins", "other men who are successful with women are dating warthogs" and generally combative and negative responses to posts. Why do you not regale us with your time tested and battle-proven strategies that you've used to secure all your 22 year old vestal virgins?