New strategy for securing straight to your house dates

[zekko]

The dude is not my boyfriend or even someone I know. House dates are reserved for someone who has invested time and effort into me already and who I am comfortable being alone with.

I find this amusing. Guys say they won't go to the steak restaurant unless it's someone who has already proven themselves worthy (if at all). And women say they won't go on house dates unless they're someone who has already proven themselves. No wonder there's a battle of the sexes, oh well, opposites attract, right?

By the way, when it comes to the steak restaurant, I might want to go there if I'm hungry. I can see you wouldn't want to go there with a worthless ho, but chances are if that's who she is, I wouldn't be spending time with her in the first place.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Hmmmmmm. If the old lady ran across something like this (faking beng sick is a really dumb play, by the way) my response would be:

"No worries. Let's take a raincheck. Hope you feel better."

The dude is not my boyfriend or even someone I know. House dates are reserved for someone who has invested time and effort into me already and who I am comfortable being alone with.

Any self respecting woman is going to decline that type of thing and wait to see if you propose an actual date.

Quit actively screening for no self respect hoes and then wondering why that's all you get in dating land.

Go read the Unicorn thread I started several years ago. This paradox is covered on the very first few posts. Use the search function.

Cheers

I’m still all about the active date, with an option to grab something at a nice brewery or otherwise afterwards if she passes muster. If she doesn’t acquiesce to the active date, she isn’t my type anyway. It’s worked for me many times and I’ve met longer term gf’s this way. FNL, SNL, TNL…it varies.

If she needs to go to Farrallon, Nobu, French Laundry, Manresa or the ilk she’s barking up the wrong tree. Maybe on a special occasion once we’re involved.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I posted this earlier as an amusing anecdote but I've refined the idea.

Here's what you do. Suggest a nice place for your first date like a ****tail lounge or steak restaurant. Day of or day before, say you're not feeling well but still want to see her and ask if she wants to just come over to your place to watch a movie and get takeout or ice cream or whatever the ****.

This works because it gives you plausible deniability and lets her rationalize the behavior in her own mind. It is even more effective if you name a specific place and specific time so she knows you at least put effort into planning the date which helps the plausible deniability even more. This tactic also works great to protect against flakes and low IL women t since changing plans at the last minute forces them to comply and confirm to new plans rather than texting something like "we still on?" which won't go over well with most women. This tactic may not work with every girl but it weeds out the low interest ones which probably would have just flaked or done some other BS anyway and overall is much more efficient.

Well, what you suggest is at least less philistine than sneaking up behind the object of one's affections in a parking garage, taser in hand Even though nowhere near as simple as inviting her to join you for a round of lunar golf one evening

 

[BeExcellent]

I’m still all about the active date, with an option to grab something at a nice brewery or otherwise afterwards if she passes muster. If she doesn’t acquiesce to the active date, she isn’t my type anyway. It’s worked for me many times and I’ve met longer term gf’s this way. FNL, SNL, TNL…it varies.

If she needs to go to Farrallon, Nobu, French Laundry, Manresa or the ilk she’s barking up the wrong tree. Maybe on a special occasion once we’re involved.

That's a viable strategy. Much more sensible than what OP proposes. I've been on many activity dates (hiking, dancing, golfing, riding, water sports etc.) And I've been on many dinner date first dates too, including good restaurants like Maestros.

French Laundry (fantastic meal) was a special occassion with my first husband, Nobu is quite nice but ridiculously pricey. I've been at times when my husband or boyfriend felt like a splurge (it's pretty cool in Malibu but there are better places nearby with better prices and equivalent waterfront.) Nobu is new rich showing off, and I'd find expectation there for a first date rather presumptpus except if everyone involved is already in the 1%. I digress.

I'm someone who does a high end restaurant with some frequency because I'm bougey that way. So I tend to meet people who like similar things.

I'm also happy with a great coffee, great dessert, great street taco, or great burger joint or dive bar. I hate bad food. So if it's good? I'm versatile.

First date with husband was brunch & then a drive up to wine country & pop from here to there. It was fun. Lots of time to visit while driving & going different spots.

He asked me out and he invested. So in return I invested. Wash, rinse, repeat many times & here we are.

This idea that women are just going to show up & put out is pretty ridiculous. Make more of an effort if you want a woman worth having.

Otherwise who cares about quality if your strategy is strictly sex & release....but dont complain about the crazies. Experienced men will tell you that game gets pretty old pretty quickly.

 

[SW15]

I’m still all about the active date, with an option to grab something at a nice brewery or otherwise afterwards if she passes muster.

I like the active date as well. I find that it is more difficult to set up an active date as a first date, especially if using a swipe app to arrange first dates. It's somewhat easier to have an active date as a second date.

The biggest challenge in setting up an active date as a first date is the lack of knowledge about the other person. It's difficult to get a sense of how the other person would react in an active date solely from conversations behind an electronic screen or from something like a 5-10 minute conversation in a real life approach.

I tend to default to drinks in a bar/lounge first dates as compared to the active date because of this.

I try to avoid meal dates as much as possible as first dates. I would much rather have 1-2 alcoholic drinks at a bar with someone as compared to a meal date.

I'm still amazed that men 21+ are doing meal dates as first dates in 2024.

Here's an effective strategy - move someplace where it's 110 in summer everyday and too hot to go outside.

Even in locations with summer temperatures in the 100-110 range, it is still more likely that there will be an in public first date in an air conditioned bar/lounge.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Hmmmmmm. If the old lady ran across something like this (faking beng sick is a really dumb play, by the way) my response would be:

"No worries. Let's take a raincheck. Hope you feel better."

The dude is not my boyfriend or even someone I know. House dates are reserved for someone who has invested time and effort into me already and who I am comfortable being alone with.

Any self respecting woman is going to decline that type of thing and wait to see if you propose an actual date.

Quit actively screening for no self respect hoes and then wondering why that's all you get in dating land.

Go read the Unicorn thread I started several years ago. This paradox is covered on the very first few posts. Use the search function.

Cheers

See I already covered this. This isn't designed for women with body counts around 5, I would never try this method on them even if I thought it could work. Have you ever seen me complain that I only meet hoes on OLD? That's because I haven't. Like women have different strategies for different men, I have different strategies for different women, primarily based on whether they're LTR material or recreational use only. But right now I am 100% only interested in the latter, hence this topic.

If I like a girl and see some long term potential in her, my go to first date is usually a beach date if not a hike. If I'm "meh" or uncertain, then drinks at a bar is fine.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Hmmmmmm. If the old lady ran across something like this (faking beng sick is a really dumb play, by the way) my response would be:

"No worries. Let's take a raincheck. Hope you feel better."

The dude is not my boyfriend or even someone I know. House dates are reserved for someone who has invested time and effort into me already and who I am comfortable being alone with.

Any self respecting woman is going to decline that type of thing and wait to see if you propose an actual date.

Quit actively screening for no self respect hoes and then wondering why that's all you get in dating land.

Go read the Unicorn thread I started several years ago. This paradox is covered on the very first few posts. Use the search function.

Cheers

that is why it’s always a good investment for a man to have a fair share of exes for when a drought-out famine hits. She can come straight to my place cutting out the logistics of a date.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I'm not sure I understand why so many men are so confused about how to date, and how to get a woman to you place.

I mentioned a few weeks ago on another thread that Bumble had slowed down for me - almost to a halt, but Friday last I matched with a little cutie 5’0” size 0-2 on Bumble. A recent widow coming out of her shell for the first time in 5 years.

Here is the sequence:

1. Chatted on app for a few back and forth - then asked her to coffee early on Saturday.
1.5 Getting ready to meet said "here's my number" I prefer texting, she said "me too".
2. Met in a little bougie coffee shop in one of the horse/billionaire communities near me.
3. Chatted for an hour and started the kino, she was open body language, is into fitness like me, and was very comfortable - mind you guys I’m talking about stuff like grabbing her hand while I was telling her an exciting story, moving her beautiful long chestnut hair aside to see her earrings, touching her forearm, grabbing her by the calve to shake her at a funny point in the conversation and so on.
4. We decided to go for a long walk all through a huge plant nursery that fortunately had narrow corridors allowing us to graze one another repeatedly as we talked about plants and laughed and then said goodbye, with a hug and some deep looks and hand holds. It was clear the attraction was there, very open body language and generous hug.
5. We texted the rest of the day a few back and forths and now we’re set to meet for a drink/happy hour tomorrow early evening at a place convenient to both of us.
6. Friday night she’ll (unbeknownst to her yet) be at my place for a home cooked dinner and a dip in the pool/hot tub.

That’s how you get them to your place.

No waiting 3 days.
No limits on texting.
No bail on first meet in under an hour.
No fracking games.
Just sincerity and charm.
And bam!
They react.

You just need to get in front of them, look strong, smell good and be able to carry on an interesting conversation and know what stage of courtship you’re at.

 

[Solomon]

Depending on the women where you meet her and how you're better of doing a first date somewhere logisitically advantageous to you.
Personally This bait and switch tactic don't work. I have a buddy who has the issue of not escalating and has lost tons of 2nd and 3rd dates that way because he has no stratgey and expects the women to make the move. I have been telling him for years about "Kino"

an average date for me looks like this
Take girl bowling and some drinks or a nice walk around the lake
or
Some drinks
usually 50% will come back if they are feeling you like that doesn't mean it always leads to sex (some women will let you know upfront no sex but will make out etc)

2nd date
My place

3rd date a walk ax throwing and my place

I would say IME only 5%-10% of women will come to your house right away minus no public date or meet, granted I have a buddy who all girls come to his place but he's the exception not the rule

 

[Hamurabimbi]

You don’t have to trick or ‘game’ girls to ‘come to your place.’ Girls know whats up and will suggest or passively be willing to go to your place if you suggest it. If they want to.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I would say IME only 5%-10% of women will come to your house right away minus no public date or meet, granted I have a buddy who all girls come to his place but he's the exception not the rule

There was a time about 10 years ago when I pulled the straight to my place game a lot. It simply worked back then. And almost without exception it turned to sex. Nowadays, because my expectations and quality requirements have changed, it takes more investment.

You don’t have to trick or ‘game’ girls to ‘come to your place.’ Girls know whats up and will suggest or passively be willing to go to your place if you suggest it. If they want to.

That's chicks in the City, barely any heterosexual males up there...haha

 

[Dr.Suave]

(some women will let you know upfront no sex but will make out etc)

How nice of her to let you know in advance she doesnt mind giving you blue balls

 

[Solomon]

There was a time about 10 years ago when I pulled the straight to my place game a lot. It simply worked back then. And almost without exception it turned to sex. Nowadays, because my expectations and quality requirements have changed, it takes more investment.

I think the issue was that once word got out about "Netflix&Chill" women became hip to it also a lot of simps ruined it by asking women to come to men's houses right away and/or sending a dicc pic along with it. I do agree if the girl is of a certain quality or caliber even after a public date they may not come back and that's cool. IME in 2024 you actually get further ahead by not trying to be thirsty right away, people use to complain about the 4 date rule, it's virtually non-existent in 2024 unless you're intentionally dating, or a simp a lot of women will give it up by the 2nd or 3rd date

 

[Hamurabimbi]

usually 50% will come back if they are feeling you like that doesn't mean it always leads to sex (some women will let you know upfront no sex but will make out etc)

LOL. Many girls say ‘no sex on the first date’. But if making out is involved. It almost always results in sex.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

For me, if I'm super attracted to her, I will go to a third date - if it's not on by the end of it, I cool my turbos. But me being attracted to a woman at that level is rare. If my 1st and 2nd date escalations are not being received well - then it's curtains.

I've received texts from women saying, "wow - you're gone, I miss your presence", if I'm still interested I say something along the lines of "I'm making my world renowned paella tonight, I'll be serving it at 6pm" which 75% of those times gets her to my place and she knows what time it is if she does come...if not back to radio silence. If she says she can't make it, but suggests dinner out some other time or another activity I say "you're buying".

Its the equivalent of put up or shut up.

 

[Solomon]

LOL. Many girls say ‘no sex on the first date’. But if making out is involved. It almost always results in sex.

I would lie and say that was the case, now a days I'm focused more on quality than quanity

For me, if I'm super attracted to her, I will go to a third date - if it's not on by the end of it, I cool my turbos. But me being attracted to a woman at that level is rare. If my 1st and 2nd date escalations are not being received well - then it's curtains.

I've received texts from women saying, "wow - you're gone, I miss your presence", if I'm still interested I say something along the lines of "I'm making my world renowned paella tonight, I'll be serving it at 6pm" which 75% of those times gets her to my place and she knows what time it is if she does come...if not back to radio silence. If she says she can't make it, but suggests dinner out some other time or another activity I say "you're buying".

Its the equivalent of put up or shut up.

Solid stuff, this is how it's done it's very simple!

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I would lie and say that was the case, now a days I'm focused more on quality than quanity
Solid stuff, this is how it's done it's very simple!

It took me a while to get to this point, but if a woman uses sex as currency, it becomes very obvious to me quickly and she's toast.

In order for it to work for me she needs to believe sex is a 50/50 exchange - she's not "giving it up" any more than I am. She must be attracted to me at that level in order for me to acquiesce - I have actually said this to a woman in conversation before: "access to your vagina is no more valuable than your access to my cawk, and in some cases its less valuable", this has been said in a non-contentious, and yet charged way and with a smirk - it lets them know what the deal is. I've also told a chick before: I'd probably still want to fck you if I didn't like you, this makes the hamster spin like a steam turbine.

The weak hands fall out, but it's rarely repelled a woman. Women also know when your value exceeds theirs but they play it off as if its not the case, depending on the woman and my IL I may let her play it off as long as sex is on the table. After sex, its usually they that want rematches - but they struggle to vocalize sometimes.

I will also sometimes, when I know the smelter is on fleek, say "what's that? I didn't hear you? Use your big girl words, tell me what you want". Having a woman tell you, admit, graphically, that she wants sex makes them INSANELY wet. Try it sometime when you get them worked up, it's like an ocean when you finally reach down there...

Even the good girls, the older ones (my demo) and women you'd never imagine speaking graphically about sex - get insanely horny when exhorted to do so. It opens them up like nothing, and sometimes you discover a literal wildcat thats never gone feral.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

usually 50% will come back if they are feeling you like that doesn't mean it always leads to sex (some women will let you know upfront no sex but will make out etc)

I do that too. No sex on the first shibari session.

 

[GoodMan32]

I don't like this idea for multiple reasons.

I don't like the bait-and-switch tactic.

Suggesting any sort of meal date in a restaurant prior to sex is a simp tactic too. Way too many men still use the meal date tactic and this is surprising to me. I was reading online in the early 2010s that meal dates in restaurants prior to sex were a bad idea. I think this idea was promoted as far back as the 2000s, if not earlier.

Alcoholic drinks in a bar or lounge is an acceptable first date. I think it should be the standard first date if a better alternative isn't available.

If a man really wants to get "straight to the home" first dates or same night sex, there are 2 options....

1. Paying directly for sex
2. Demonstrating enough value that a woman wants to go to your home immediately. The best way to demonstrate this high value is through appearance. Being 6'0"+ with an above average physique with lower body and some muscle definition is the best way to do this.

Back when I was in college, I went on a date to the Starbucks at Barnes and Noble. I don't remember if we went Dutch or what. Even if I footed the whole bill, that's a cheap date.

She ended up naked in my bed, begging me for sex, after the date. I opted out of sex (Well, to get technical, I inserted myself for a split second. Then I immediately changed my mind. So I don't count that as sex).

To this day, I am shocked at the fact I was able to pull this off.

Granted, we had been chatting online/through text for 2 months by this point. Still shocking though that our 1st date progressed as much as it did.

And here's the real kicker: She drove an hour to see me.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Back when I was in college, I went on a date to the Starbucks at Barnes and Noble. I don't remember if we went Dutch or what. Even if I footed the whole bill, that's a cheap date.

She ended up naked in my bed, begging me for sex, after the date. I opted out of sex (Well, to get technical, I inserted myself for a split second. Then I immediately changed my mind. So I don't count that as sex).

Why? Wasnt that the point of the whole thing?