How to REKINDLE a relationship after overstepping boundaries?

[BackInTheGame78]

What do you think would happen if I asked her out today?

1 of 3 things.

1) She wouldn't reply at all and ghost you.

2) She would make up some excuse

3) She would agree and then flake at some point before the date.

You need to learn to have some respect for yourself. No man with respect for himself would contemplate doing that.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Mandatory “your princess is in another castle” post.

I think the mod already covered all the possible outcomes and actions to take to solve this issue.

 

[MatureDJ]

You need to spin more plates.

 

[MatureDJ]

What do you think would happen if I asked her out today?

Your answer is contained within the opening line of this song:

 

[MatureDJ]

Regardless you should continue talking to and working on more women in the meantime. The only reason you think this one is so special is because you have no options. If you did, you would delete her number and forget who it was if she ever contacted you again.

Having no options in any important sphere of life - good job, good woman, affordable house - is akin to being a slave.

 

[MatureDJ]

I'm already at college, lol. And I've had girlfriends before. My interest in a relationship came from her because I hadn't felt what I felt with her for a long time. She has a personality that I thought was great.

But she doesn't want you. That's it (or like my favorite black-pill character would say, "C'est ainsi"); that's all that matters. She could have the greatest personality in the world, but if she doesn't want your seed, it's OVER for you.

 

[Learning Curve]

So many mistakes in one single post that's crazy.

But the good thing is that you are humble enough to draft all this and post it at Sosuave.

Here is a few points that you should consider if you want to have success with women:

But after all of that, problems started. She mentioned feeling pressured, like I was too close, showing too much affection, and that she didn't like doing that in public and that she didn't know me well yet; it was just our first time. BUT, despite that, she still showed a lot of interest and joy talking to me the next day. Oh, and the next day was Saturday, the actual day we had planned for the date.

You started to over-invest, over-escalate and pushing hard. Most guys do this without even realizing.

Basically, with her, I was trying too hard to hold her hand, hug her, put my hand on her waist, and pull her close. She didn't say anything on Friday that she didn't like the contact; she didn't show any major discomfort. The problem was on Saturday, and I'll explain now.

Exactly, trying to hard. You were sending vibes of a relationship so hard that you basically lost the game. You need to conrol your temper and the way you behave. One step forward, two steps back. Again as i always say you must adapt to the situation you are in with a woman like a chameleon, if she is touchy you become touchy, if she is distant you become distant, what ever she does you mirror her actions.

Why? because this creates a balance of attraction.

She also said she didn't want a relationship and knew that was my interest, said she didn't want to go out with me anymore, didn't like behaving like a couple, etc.

Here is the ultimate result of you having no patience. You are acting like she is your girlfriend from the second day. Also you setting a date the next day which shows way too much availability, you need to push dates 3-4 days in advance. Be busy.

Today even, on the date of this post, I haven't sent a message in 2 days and so far nothing.

You are starting to act like a woman. Get it together, stop acting like a little kid.

A friend of mine commented that if she still talks to me and didn't just block me, it's because she still likes me, but she needs time. I invaded her personal space, and she probably doesn't feel safe.

Your friend has no clue, never ask people about any advice unless they have experience. This goes not just for dating, but also for health, wealth or what ever you want to achieve in life. Forget what your friend told you.

The point of all this is: I want to win her back, rekindle the interest, the love, everything that was there, and I ruined. It was something very, very clear before; she felt something, and I just managed to mess it up in the worst possible way.
I want to try again, want to have a relationship, because I liked her, and also because I would HATE to end everything because of a mistake of this level.

The point is that you don't need to do anything of the above. You need to completely disappear. She has friend-zoned you. There is nothing you can do. Any escalation, over-texting you do from now is her realizing that she made the right choice.

Never contact her again. Period.

At the moment, giving up is NOT an option, please consider that. I don't want to give up; I want to try something. I'm thinking on today or tomorow of inviting her to go bowling and talking better there, giving her a gift, and seeing if I can get something with that.

No, at this point giving up is an option and this is what you will do, because you are acting like a desperate woman and this is a big-turn off for women.

You don't understand how attraction works. You are setting ur-self for a roller coaster of events that will follow with women you will meet and you will have the same results if you don't get your sh1t together. Stop trying to force things your own way, without you having the experience to understand how attraction works.

No gifts, no contacting, nothing, Nada.

Let me explain to you why, and how you get out of a friend-zone:

In essence you have been place in a friend-zone because you showed that you are a guy that has no clue how to handle attraction, you are a turn off in general because just by the way you write in this post you already sound like a woman. You sound desperate and this creates the same vibe in person i'm sure with this woman.

If a woman has no attraction left for you, she prefers to friend-zone you instead of actually saying "hey you are acting like a woman, f3uck off." This is so she doesn't hurt your feelings.

The only way to regain attraction, if there is any left is to completely disappear, that's the first step. The second step is to find another woman, and date. Preferably a hotter one than the one you have tried to date right now.

To conclude, if she reaches out at any point in the next two weeks, considering that you will not contact her anymore, if you have your own place you invite her directly there. For drinks. Nothing else, no going out, no expenses, nothing for this woman. She is a low priority now, she has friend-zoned you.

If you don't have your own place, find a place.

 

[Spirit_1500]

So many mistakes in one single post that's crazy.

But the good thing is that you are humble enough to draft all this and post it at Sosuave.

Here is a few points that you should consider if you want to have success with women:



You started to over-invest, over-escalate and pushing hard. Most guys do this without even realizing.



Exactly, trying to hard. You were sending vibes of a relationship so hard that you basically lost the game. You need to conrol your temper and the way you behave. One step forward, two steps back. Again as i always say you must adapt to the situation you are in with a woman like a chameleon, if she is touchy you become touchy, if she is distant you become distant, what ever she does you mirror her actions.

Why? because this creates a balance of attraction.



Here is the ultimate result of you having no patience. You are acting like she is your girlfriend from the second day. Also you setting a date the next day which shows way too much availability, you need to push dates 3-4 days in advance. Be busy.



You are starting to act like a woman. Get it together, stop acting like a little kid.



Your friend has no clue, never ask people about any advice unless they have experience. This goes not just for dating, but also for health, wealth or what ever you want to achieve in life. Forget what your friend told you.



The point is that you don't need to do anything of the above. You need to completely disappear. She has friend-zoned you. There is nothing you can do. Any escalation, over-texting you do from now is her realizing that she made the right choice.

Never contact her again. Period.



No, at this point giving up is an option and this is what you will do, because you are acting like a desperate woman and this is a big-turn off for women.

You don't understand how attraction works. You are setting ur-self for a roller coaster of events that will follow with women you will meet and you will have the same results if you don't get your sh1t together. Stop trying to force things your own way, without you having the experience to understand how attraction works.

No gifts, no contacting, nothing, Nada.

Let me explain to you why, and how you get out of a friend-zone:

In essence you have been place in a friend-zone because you showed that you are a guy that has no clue how to handle attraction, you are a turn off in general because just by the way you write in this post you already sound like a woman. You sound desperate and this creates the same vibe in person i'm sure with this woman.

If a woman has no attraction left for you, she prefers to friend-zone you instead of actually saying "hey you are acting like a woman, f3uck off." This is so she doesn't hurt your feelings.

The only way to regain attraction, if there is any left is to completely disappear, that's the first step. The second step is to find another woman, and date. Preferably a hotter one than the one you have tried to date right now.

To conclude, if she reaches out at any point in the next two weeks, considering that you will not contact her anymore, if you have your own place you invite her directly there. For drinks. Nothing else, no going out, no expenses, nothing for this woman. She is a low priority now, she has friend-zoned you.

If you don't have your own place, find a place.

Thanks for all the help, you and everyone. I'll follow your advice and stop talking to her. Would it be weird if I tried to meet another woman already?

 

[Spirit_1500]

You are young, you'll learn as you have more experiences.

By the way, why did she kiss me on Friday if it was all a test of availability that I failed?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Would it be weird if I tried to meet another woman already?

Weird to whom?

 

[Spirit_1500]

Weird to whom?

Like, coming out of something I tried for a long time and then instantly going after someone else. Is that weird or not really? Not that I see a problem with it.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Is that weird or not really? Not that I see a problem with it.

That's why I ask. Who would consider that weird and why would you care about their opinion?

 

[Spirit_1500]

That's why I ask. Who would consider that weird and why would you care about their opinion?

Maybe some friends might think it's weird? Lol. I spent a couple of weeks talking about that woman, and the next day I'd be with someone else.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

By the way, why did she kiss me on Friday if it was all a test of availability that I failed?

Because playing games is fun. See how much she has your hamster wheel spinning with just a kiss?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I spent a couple of weeks talking about that woman

Don't do that.

 

[Solomon]

You need to spin more plates.

Where is the lie in that? I've noticed your post tend to lean on the negative side
Spinning plates
-Creates abundance mentality
-Makes you less thirsty
-Raises confidence which in turn actually helps you bag more women
-Makes you less outcome dependent cause you're not focus on getting new women

You don't need 10 girls to spin plates heck for most guys 1 is enough some can handle more some less

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Maybe some friends might think it's weird?

Not your friends.

 

[Solomon]

Just read OP, you're young so don't beat yourself up to much but from your post, it does sound you're super needy
I was like that too at your age
The best thing to do is fall back on her, and talk to other women, engage in your favorite hobbies, continue to improve and work on yourself etc

I think the most important part to learn from all this, is your mindset, to not be needy and pushy. If she reaches back out great, if not no sweat, the worst thing you can do now is be more needy and pushy it's just going to turn her off more. I'm saying this from experience

 

[Spirit_1500]

Just read OP, you're young so don't beat yourself up to much but from your post, it does sound you're super needy
I was like that too at your age
The best thing to do is fall back on her, and talk to other women, engage in your favorite hobbies, continue to improve and work on yourself etc

I think the most important part to learn from all this, is your mindset, to not be needy and pushy. If she reaches back out great, if not no sweat, the worst thing you can do now is be more needy and pushy it's just going to turn her off more. I'm saying this from experience

Thanks man, im not contacting her anymore.

 

[MatureDJ]

Thanks for all the help, you and everyone. I'll follow your advice and stop talking to her. Would it be weird if I tried to meet another woman already?

It's never weird to talk to other women.