//The Chronicles of BPH\\

[SW15]

Not much has really happened on this front. Back around December if I remember right, ended up adding another notch to my count. Girl from Bumble. Had low expectations, being a dating app, but we ended up meeting, having some drinks, and f***ing my car since she lives with her mom and I had driven about an hour to see her. She was above average, but nothing amazing, so I wasn't too interested in setting up another meeting where I'd be driving an hour each way just to see her. She was understanding and not clingy, which was refreshing, but she RAVED about how I got her off with just my fingers. I got this down to a technique and could tell when she "finished", which she thought was incredibly hot, stating she usually had to fake it with guys. In case anybody's interested; middle and ring finger inside, hook upwards, pinky and index finger on the outside, use your elbow and wrist to leverage your hand to go faster. Very little actual finger movement.

This was a good notch.

Outside of that, I'd been visiting my ex on some no-strings-attached type stuff until recently. The sex is great, I can still love her without being IN LOVE with her, and we were able to enjoy each other's company without drama. The key phrase there, however, is "until recently". I visited her a few weeks ago, and it was like any other weekend, but this time I was asking her about her family and life in general while we chilled and drank, and things were going well until I caught her in a lie...when we were dating, there was a period early on where she was supposedly getting DMs that I was cheating on her whenever I returned to Delaware. She never told me who it was, and based on some descriptors, I ASSUMED who it was at the time and confronted them. Obviously they didn't know what I was talking about and thought I was nuts, but eventually we just moved past that since she wouldn't tell me and claimed it wasn't an issue if I wasn't cheating.

Fast forward to this weekend and she mentions, among other random things, that she had recently had another conversation with that girl and still had the messages in her phone. This time her descriptors were different, and she still wouldn't tell me who it was, so I had to make the assumption again, this time asking if I guess correctly whether she would confirm it. I guessed right - it was a female friend of mine that I'd known since I was a junior in college. Always completely platonic, and I'd even slept with her friend, which she knows about. I demand to see the messages my ex supposedly had, and she refuses because "it doesn't matter anymore", it was "2 years ago", and "she tried to talk to me about it then but I didn't want to see it". That last part in particular pissed me off, because that was a straight up lie. I get very angry, calling my friend and saying that I need her to type my ex's name into her Instagram messages and send me a screenshot. She's confused, and annoyed because of how late it was at the time, but sends me a screenshot of her typing my ex's name and not even knowing who she was on Instagram, with no results showing up. So at this point I'm very upset at this lie and the fact that my ex refuses to show me these "messages", and eventually leave, block her on everything, and delete her number. She kept making arguments like "why would I lie about this", "you think I'm just making this up?" and when I tell her to show me the proof she defaults to "I tried to talk to you about this 2 years ago when we were dating, now we're not, so I don't owe you this".

It's good you were getting some pussie but this is too much drama.

the bar scene has been lacking and I've spent most weekends focusing on my business, which I'll explain later, so this last weekend I stayed with a buddy down in Dewey Beach for St. Patty's. This further reinforced that I need to get out of Delaware...just guys everywhere with a small handful of girls that are like 6s or below and maybe 1 or 2 8s to go around, where everybody's been daydrinking since like noon...I think I need to find places that have clubs or something rather than bars; places where you can drink AND dance rather than just be crowded as hell surrounded by frat bros and dad bods. I got a couple numbers, and had 2 prospects that I thought something would pan out with, but at the end of the night they stopped responding and I went back with my buddy alone. They both texted me the next morning, but at that point I was already headed back north to get ready for work.

Without my ex in the picture, and without a decent bar scene, I anticipate getting cranky as this dry spell gets longer and longer. Not looking forward to that.

Be more confident in yourself than this. You are 6'0", 202 lbs, with muscle and lower body fat. You are the 'Chad' that women seek for one night stands and casual sex.

The one saving grace is that I'm working full-time at my job now, which pays me about $46k/year...but I'm still just living at home with my parents and most of the money I've been saving has been going towards this...I really want to be able to move somewhere and stay there, ideally somewhere warm with decent-looking women and a nightlife; I imagine Philadelphia, Florida, parts of Arizona would have what I'm looking for.

You might be able to get a roommate in Philadelphia on $46k and keep your current job.

Phoenix and Tucson in Arizona are getting more expensive. Basic 1 bedrooms that are decent are running around $1,200-$1,300/month in Phoenix.

 

[BPH]

This was a good notch.

Ehh...I mean it was nice to have someone new, but I wasn't impressed.

It's good you were getting some pussie but this is too much drama.

I agree. It just doesn't make any sense; either she's lying to me or she's defending somebody who doesn't matter to her. And if she was lying, I don't know why she would make the claim that she had the messages, if the follow-up was going to be that she couldn't show me...

I know this can be chalked up to "women aren't logical", but man...

Be more confident in yourself than this. You are 6'0", 202 lbs, with muscle and lower body fat. You are the 'Chad' that women seek for one night stands and casual sex.

Plenty confident, this isn't me being all boo-hoo because I'm gonna forget how to talk to girls or something, it's just because there are not a lot of attractive women for me to WANT to approach. Like that Dewey bar had SOME talent, but once you find the needle in the haystack and things still don't pan out, then that's kinda it for the night...at least in terms of women.

The annoying part is having to go out of my way to meet these women, considering I don't see any in my day-to-day at work or at my gym, so when I do go to these places and there's little to nothing there in terms of good-looking prospects, I just feel like I'm wasting my time.

You might be able to get a roommate in Philadelphia on $46k and keep your current job.

Phoenix and Tucson in Arizona are getting more expensive. Basic 1 bedrooms that are decent are running around $1,200-$1,300/month in Phoenix.

I'm trying to link up with friends who have a place in Philly or friends of friends who do to figure out if I want to spend more time up there. Still a work in progress, as is everything right now.

 

[SW15]

it's just because there are not a lot of attractive women for me to WANT to approach.

I am able to identify. This is a lousy feeling.

The annoying part is having to go out of my way to meet these women, considering I don't see any in my day-to-day at work or at my gym, so when I do go to these places and there's little to nothing there in terms of good-looking prospects, I just feel like I'm wasting my time.

Many single people have subpar day-to-day routines. As a result, dedicated approach often becomes necessary. There have been many times in my life when I lingered longer in a grocery store doing an approach session or spent a weekend afternoon on a walking path as an approach session. It is better to not have to do dedicated approach sessions.

Nightlife venue sessions where you get nothing are extremely frustrating.

 

[BPH]

I am able to identify. This is a lousy feeling.



Many single people have subpar day-to-day routines. As a result, dedicated approach often becomes necessary. There have been many times in my life when I lingered longer in a grocery store doing an approach session or spent a weekend afternoon on a walking path as an approach session. It is better to not have to do dedicated approach sessions.

Nightlife venue sessions where you get nothing are extremely frustrating.

Any insight on the financial side of things? I'm getting frustrated because I've tried so many things thinking "this is it", only to not have them pan out.

I don't know anybody who makes great money and feel like if I can figure this out that I won't have nearly the amount of problems I have now.

 

[SW15]

Any insight on the financial side of things? I'm getting frustrated because I've tried so many things thinking "this is it", only to not have them pan out.

I don't know anybody who makes great money and feel like if I can figure this out that I won't have nearly the amount of problems I have now.

No insight. $46k is an ok salary. At 29 (soon to be 30), you should be doing better.

Would you be interested in bartending?

 

[BPH]

No insight. $46k is an ok salary. At 29 (soon to be 30), you should be doing better.

Would you be interested in bartending?

I've had the license but never had a connection that would take me on.

A bunch of my friends/staff from the college bar do some bartending at smaller places outside of that bar but had to spend several years barbacking to be even given that chance.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Any insight on the financial side of things? I'm getting frustrated because I've tried so many things thinking "this is it", only to not have them pan out.

I don't know anybody who makes great money and feel like if I can figure this out that I won't have nearly the amount of problems I have now.

I realize I just made a thread b!tching about my job lol but have you ever considered getting certified?

 

[BPH]

I realize I just made a thread b!tching about my job lol but have you ever considered getting certified?

Lol yeah, I saw your thread and when you gave me credit I wasn't sure what for.

Certified for what? Remind me, was it some sort of programming/coding?

 

[nicksaiz65]

Lol yeah, I saw your thread and when you gave me credit I wasn't sure what for.

Certified for what? Remind me, was it some sort of programming/coding?

Oh, that was a while back, you were talking about how money is no good if you don’t have time to use it.

Anything that can make money really.. I’d have to do some more research on other paths but the ones I have are in my field(programming)

 

[SW15]

you gave me credit I wasn't sure what for.

a while back, you were talking about how money is no good if you don’t have time to use it.

@BPH was very insightful with that comment.

 

[BPH]

Oh, that was a while back, you were talking about how money is no good if you don’t have time to use it.

Anything that can make money really.. I’d have to do some more research on other paths but the ones I have are in my field(programming)

I think the main issue is not knowing whether I'm on the right path. I've committed to several things over the years and genuinely thought "this is it" several times over;

• Had an acting/modeling contract for 18 months, agency got me no work. Went with another agent, spent a couple thousand dollars and another 2 years developing a monologue with him. Finally get signed, but COVID hits and I'm required to be vaccinated and up to date on my boosters in order to even audition. Due to my safety concerns with the vaccine, I decline, and am let go.
• Built out a dropshipping business and saw some success with that, but again, COVID hit, shut down manufacturing and distribution of the product, and I had to end that too.
• Was brought on as a referral partner by a family friend for a financial company that helped businesses file for the ERC (paid employers back for keeping employees paid during the pandemic, literally free money). Couldn't get any deals because everybody thought it was too good to be true or that their accountants knew better. IRS puts a moratorium due to a lot of bad actors popping up to help businesses file, and that moratorium becomes a permanent stop.
• And most recently I've been with a community of SMMA owners in various niches learning how to run that business and market, in my case, to loan officers. Finally got a close after about 4 months of this and thought I'd finally see some return on investment, but then he pulls out because he's got something bad going on health-wise. So basically, in addition to the all the Ls I've been taking, the one W then BECAME an L...

I'm fine with things taking time, and failing over and over again, but it's costing me a lot of money to fail, and this is AFTER I started working my dayjob full-time. I'm just about breaking even, and a lot of the money I had saved up prior has gone into this.

I'm trying to take a step back and evaluate where I'm going wrong; am I backing the wrong vehicle (mortgage niche, SMMA as a whole, etc)? I think I'm smart, and I see people a lot less educated doing a lot better at this, so am I just s*** at this? Is my problem that I'm looking for money rather than something I'm passionate about/good at? I'll be turning 30 next month and I hate the fact that I'm still living at home with my parents because I don't have the income to confidently move out and STAY OUT.

I'm supposed to have a conversation with one of the higher ups in this community that called in a favor to some of his business partners to at least give me some perspective and see where my problem(s) are, to make an informed decision of how I should proceed.

But aside from that, I'm playing with ideas of what I could do in my head;

• I could move somewhere that I want to go, like Florida or Arizona, with no plan, and "figure it out" because I'd be forced to.
• I could work a regular job and do something established like what some of my cousins do in North Carolina. They do medical sales and make a good living, for some reason my mom thinks I'm good at sales (maybe because I "sell" myself well to women and can talk to people and take rejection well, but considering my business track record, I disagree with her).
• I could focus on something I do well, like fitness, and look to monetize what I'm already doing to train clients en masse via some of these apps rather than market for OTHER people.
• I could renew my bartending license and try to find places that would bring me on so I could make some extra cash and maybe get good at this. It would be congruent with me enjoying nightlife, but almost every bartender I see has had to spend YEARS barbacking to even get a shot, and even then they only work on the quiet nights since the experienced bartenders aren't going to give up the money from working the more popular Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.
• I could simply change niches from mortgage to something else. Not sure what, but there aren't many people in this community in this niche, and maybe there's a reason for that. Seems like everybody is in medical, dental, chiro, solar, etc.
• I could stream some of the video games I play in my downtime. Problem with that is living at home, I can't be making noise late at night, and I'm sure it would take me years to build an audience IF I'm lucky. I'm good at most of the things I've played, and the fact that I'm semi-Chadly might be an interesting watch, breaking away from the stereotype of all gamers being nerdy types.
• I could try to monetize the fact that I'm good at bedding women somehow...not sure how I'd do that, and it would probably damage my reputation with women if I became "known", but I imagine there are people who would value dating coaching.

Those are what come to mind in this moment. I'm mostly unsure if I just haven't spent enough time on a particular thing to see it through, or if my time and effort is being put into places of greater resistance than if I were to focus on something I already know. I had a conversation with my family the other night and my analogy was that it's like digging a hole with a shovel vs a spoon...both will get the job done, and the cost difference isn't much, but one makes the job a lot easier than the other - point being, am I using the wrong tool to try and make money?

And then there comes the argument of passion, "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life". I disagree with that. I love video games and working out, but I'd hate doing either of them 4, 6, 8+ hours at a time. It's hard to nail down a passion or "what I want to do" because I don't really care what I'd be doing for work IF it paid me well, because that money would afford me the freedom to do the things I enjoy when I'm NOT doing that work.

I don't know...this is a lot, and I'm facing a crossroads, and I'm indecisive at this point. I don't know if I'd expect to read any response that gives me an "a-ha!" moment, but the fact that it's a possibility is at least a little cathartic.

 

[SW15]

They do medical sales and make a good living, for some reason my mom thinks I'm good at sales (maybe because I "sell" myself well to women and can talk to people and take rejection well, but considering my business track record, I disagree with her).

Good looking men are often good at sales. Additionally, you have the track record of having seduced more than 90 women. There is some commonality between sales and sexual conquest. Sales and Marketing are complementary disciplines. Dating and seduction overlaps with both disciplines.

You need to get hired by a more stable company. That's been your biggest issue.

 

[BPH]

Good looking men are often good at sales. Additionally, you have the track record of having seduced more than 90 women. There is some commonality between sales and sexual conquest. Sales and Marketing are complementary disciplines. Dating and seduction overlaps with both disciplines.

You need to get hired by a more stable company. That's been your biggest issue.

I think the reason I'm trying to make all these other things work is because I don't want to work a standard job.

I did that for a year when I was working for the mortgage lender and absolutely hated it; 10-hour shifts where I have nothing to do but have to look busy, coming in on weekends and holidays, having to work extra hours not even to get a raise but just to not get fired...and the workplace politics where you don't know you offended or bothered somebody until you're in the HR office being given a write-up, rather than having the person in question just tell you they're not comfortable with something.

My mom was a senior flight attendant, and near the end of her tenure the company she was with tried to find ways to fire her so they wouldn't have to pay her senior rate or provide benefits, opting to bring in "fresh talent".

My brother was recent fired from his job in NYC due to having a workplace relationship with a co-worker; she, however, was NOT fired.

I don't think I want to work a typical job unless I'm making really good money or have a lot of flexibility - which is why I'm working the job I have now; it's not fulfilling, I don't make great money, there's no opportunity for advancement, and my boss is a prick...BUT, I have zero supervision and kinda do what I want so long as I get my work done - which is why I'm able to take business calls and write up forum posts while on the clock.

Factors like this, and the long response above, are all things going through my head leading to indecision on what I should be doing.

 

[SW15]

I could try to monetize the fact that I'm good at bedding women somehow...not sure how I'd do that, and it would probably damage my reputation with women if I became "known", but I imagine there are people who would value dating coaching

You could make a case that you are the top seducer on this board.

You are 6'0" and 200 lbs. You have a physique with some muscle and have been a male model under contract. Those are some 'Chad' qualifications.

You have a notch count of over 90 women. That's better the majority of men.

You have put up a big notch count despite lacking a clear career path and you've never used money to seduce. You are 29 years old and live with your parents in a mid-sized metro area in the shadow of a much bigger metro area.

Roosh was getting laid when he was around your age while crashing in his dad's basement in the Maryland suburbs of Washington DC. You are following that model.

I don't want to work a standard job.

I don't either. I do work a standard, white collar job because the alternative paths are more difficult. There is not a lot to like about basic, white collar corporate work.

I did that for a year when I was working for the mortgage lender and absolutely hated it; 10-hour shifts where I have nothing to do but have to look busy, coming in on weekends and holidays, having to work extra hours not even to get a raise but just to not get fired...and the workplace politics where you don't know you offended or bothered somebody until you're in the HR office being given a write-up, rather than having the person in question just tell you they're not comfortable with something.

That sounds terrible.

I don't think I want to work a typical job unless I'm making really good money or have a lot of flexibility - which is why I'm working the job I have now; it's not fulfilling, I don't make great money, there's no opportunity for advancement, and my boss is a prick...BUT, I have zero supervision and kinda do what I want so long as I get my work done - which is why I'm able to take business calls and write up forum posts while on the clock.

There is some value in your arrangement other than the fact that your boss is a prick.

 

[nicksaiz65]

And then there comes the argument of passion, "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life". I disagree with that. I love video games and working out, but I'd hate doing either of them 4, 6, 8+ hours at a time. It's hard to nail down a passion or "what I want to do" because I don't really care what I'd be doing for work IF it paid me well, because that money would afford me the freedom to do the things I enjoy when I'm NOT doing that work.

I don't either. I do work a standard, white collar job because the alternative paths are more difficult. There is not a lot to like about basic, white collar corporate work.

I'm thinking that for me at least.. these are the statements that I resonate with. @SW15 you'll have to remind me but you were the one who was saying that a job should be a tool to generate the lifestyle that you want right? Can't quite remember who I heard that from. @BPH I totally agree that you want a job with as much flexibility as you can get though to avoid getting crushed by the corporate job.

By that logic, any high paying career field would do, right? Maybe you picked up some bar shifts while working the current job so that you could move out and have your independence. And then on the side, you could do whatever was needed to transfer into one higher paying career path. I'm not sure if there's a right answer to this question, but just a thought.

Ironically, the bar work is probably much more enjoyable than the corporate work lol.

 

[SW15]

@SW15 you'll have to remind me but you were the one who was saying that a job should be a tool to generate the lifestyle that you want right?

That sounds like something I would say. That's what I use my job to do. My job supports my lifestyle. I derive fulfillment from my lifestyle and not my work.

the bar work is probably much more enjoyable than the corporate work lol.

Being a bartender is more enjoyable than corporate work. The problem is later in life. @BPH is about to turn 30. Standing for multiple hours at a time becomes more difficult as you age.

 

[BPH]

You could make a case that you are the top seducer on this board.

You are 6'0" and 200 lbs. You have a physique with some muscle and have been a male model under contract. Those are some 'Chad' qualifications.

You have a notch count of over 90 women. That's better the majority of men.

You have put up a big notch count despite lacking a clear career path and you've never used money to seduce. You are 29 years old and live with your parents in a mid-sized metro area in the shadow of a much bigger metro area.

Roosh was getting laid when he was around your age while crashing in his dad's basement in the Maryland suburbs of Washington DC. You are following that model.

That almost makes the whole dating coach idea sound feasible. What I notice is that everything right now is red pill where everybody kinda hates women that won't sleep with them. "PUAs" kinda got a bad rep when you find a lot of them are marketing using models paid to pretend to like them, or have X, Y, Z course, etc. Basically saying I'm not sure how to monetize that IF it even could be monetized.

There is some value in your arrangement other than the fact that your boss is a prick.

Yeah, and that's why I'm still here. This was the flexible part-time job that was supposed to get me by while I did those other things, and now it's my main full-time job because it has to be. It's fine for now, but this can't be it.

By that logic, any high paying career field would do, right? Maybe you picked up some bar shifts while working the current job so that you could move out and have your independence. And then on the side, you could do whatever was needed to transfer into one higher paying career path. I'm not sure if there's a right answer to this question, but just a thought.

Ironically, the bar work is probably much more enjoyable than the corporate work lol.

I don't know if the bar thing would work just because of the required experience to even do it. I would imagine I would need at least 2-3 years just bar backing to get the opportunity to bartend - and even then, it wouldn't be at these established popular places that would make me decent money, those places are going to be in-demand and have bartenders with much more experience than myself. Several of the bartenders that worked at these college bars near my school are STILL bartending those same college bars...10 years working the same weekends making good money. I highly doubt that would change just because I wanted it to.

Being a bartender is more enjoyable than corporate work. The problem is later in life. @BPH is about to turn 30. Standing for multiple hours at a time becomes more difficult as you age.

Worked at a gym as front desk attendant for a while...very relatable with this one, especially being unable to sit. Moving around is one thing but I remember getting knots in my back and legs many times over. Plus I have flat feet so I'm sure all this would be amplified.

Not saying the option is off the table, because it was one of the things I listed up there, but there are considerations with everything.

 

[SW15]

That almost makes the whole dating coach idea sound feasible. What I notice is that everything right now is red pill where everybody kinda hates women that won't sleep with them. "PUAs" kinda got a bad rep when you find a lot of them are marketing using models paid to pretend to like them, or have X, Y, Z course, etc. Basically saying I'm not sure how to monetize that IF it even could be monetized.

It is difficult to find paying customers in any sort of business. I think you would find it difficult to find paying customers as a dating coach or seduction specialist.

You have a compelling journey in life from virgin to stud. You have had sex with over 90 women, which is so good.

How are you going to compete with AG Hayden, Austen Summers, Playing with Fire, and others?

I think you're better off becoming some corporate sales rep. Medical sales is a good idea. An even better idea is becoming a sales rep for a funeral home. I know a sales rep for a funeral home. This person had their best sales years ever in 2020 and 2021 with pandemic deaths. Many Baby Boomers are about to die as well. You should be able to sell funeral services because death is inevitable and will happen soon for a lot of people.

Your ability to seduce translates well into sales. You're also good looking and people perceive good looking people as trustworthy in sales. Medical sales is well known for hiring attractive college cheerleaders. Former Hooters and Twin Peaks Girls sometimes transition into corporate sales and medical sales. Selling beer, liquor, wings, and other hot meals translates well into corporate sales.

 

[BPH]

It is difficult to find paying customers in any sort of business. I think you would find it difficult to find paying customers as a dating coach or seduction specialist.

Yeah, I would agree with that.

I think you're better off becoming some corporate sales rep. Medical sales is a good idea. An even better idea is becoming a sales rep for a funeral home. I know a sales rep for a funeral home. This person had their best sales years ever in 2020 and 2021 with pandemic deaths. Many Baby Boomers are about to die as well. You should be able to sell funeral services because death is inevitable and will happen soon for a lot of people.

My parents think I would do well in medical sales, and we have cousins who are doing it. The thing is, at my current job, my boss is an entrepreneur and has me splitting my time calling orthos/derms to try to schedule lunch appointments with physicians to show off their post-op dressings. I don't know if I would have a better time in person, but I spend most of my time on hold, waiting for office managers to email me back, and leaving voicemails. Seems like it's hard to get any facetime with these people to make a potential sale.

The funeral home thing sounds dark...how much does he make? I feel like it would be a somewhat depressing feeling profiting so much from a person's grief.

 

[SW15]

The funeral home thing sounds dark...how much does he make? I feel like it would be a somewhat depressing feeling profiting so much from a person's grief.

It's not dark and it's possible to make a very good living from it. Death is inevitable and people/families make post death plans. People will need either an in-ground burial or a cremation at some point. You are not profiting from grief. Some people make funeral arrangements while they are still alive and then others have families making the decision post death.

My parents think I would do well in medical sales, and we have cousins who are doing it. The thing is, at my current job, my boss is an entrepreneur and has me splitting my time calling orthos/derms to try to schedule lunch appointments with physicians to show off their post-op dressings. I don't know if I would have a better time in person, but I spend most of my time on hold, waiting for office managers to email me back, and leaving voicemails. Seems like it's hard to get any facetime with these people to make a potential sale.

Based on family connections, it is more realistic that you would be able to get a medical sales job than a funeral sales job.

Your current job seems related to medical sales too. You can do this. In-person sales are a better format for a good looking person.