Hot Girl Demands Good Dinner For Date. Smash Or Pass?

[mikedee]

I agree with this. And if our OP was/is a foodie and enjoys dining out at high end restaurants himself and taking first or second dates there, then that's okay imo.

That's not what happened here. HE asked for drinks/Netflix and Chill. SHE didn't like that idea and proceeded to take charge and control the frame by demanding dinner.

I read a post last week from a poster asking how you check for compliance before the first date or during.

That is how. By observing her reaction to your date idea and if she's agreeable. NOT rejecting, taking charge and dictating the frame demanding dinner instead.

Am I the only one seeing this as a problem over and above her wanting dinner?

Netflix and chill is not a date, I understand she rejected the idea. OP shot himself in the foot when he proposed that idea. But refusing to go for a drink and asking to go for diner is a trendy place is a major red flag. She is interested in a free lunch and cool IG stories.

I invite my dates in basic places, cheap wine bars, pubs, etc. i dont spend more than 30$ most of the time. If they ask for something fancy instead I drop them. But it never happens, because they are truly interested in seeing me again, they dont care where.

 

[SW15]

Most girls will find that insufficient. That is a “meet and greet” not a date.

You have a valid point. That's another downside of tech-based dating methods.

If he did a daygame style approach + drinks in bar date, then he already has had the public date with her.

 

[member162951]

Most girls will find that insufficient.

I'm of the belief when a man and women are vibing and the chemistry is there, which is typically determined on first meet/date, then it shouldn't really matter what the hell they do.

It' shouldn't be about where you go and if a chick you're vibing well with would next you because you didn't take her out to a nice restaurant on first or second date, that should be a next for you. Wreaks of entitlement.

Standards fellas. You control the frame. If she's truly into you, she will respect you for it.

 

[member162951]

Netflix and chill is not a date, I understand she rejected the idea. OP shot himself in the foot when he proposed that idea. But refusing to go for a drink and asking to go for diner is a trendy place is a major red flag. She is interested in a free lunch and cool IG stories.

I invite my dates in basic places, cheap wine bars, pubs, etc. i dont spend more than 30$ most of the time. If they ask for something fancy instead I drop them. But it never happens, because they are truly interested in seeing me again, they dont care where.

Perhaps my post wasn't clear but we're on the same page here dude, totally agree.

 

[corrector]

You can't say you want a trad-con woman and can't even provide for dates. What are you thinking?

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm of the belief when a man and women are vibing and the chemistry is there, which is typically determined on first meet/date, then it shouldn't really matter what the hell they do.

It' shouldn't be about where you go and if a chick you're vibing well with would next you because you didn't take her out to a nice restaurant on first or second date, that should be a next for you. Wreaks of entitlement.

It does not matter what “should be,” it is what it is. Most women with any sense of upbringing are not giving up sex for free. A public semi-formal date is a bare minimum.

 

[member162951]

You can't say you want a trad-con woman and can't even provide for dates. What are you thinking?

It's about her demanding it that's the problem. I trust you understand the difference.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It's about her demanding it that's the problem. I trust you understand the difference.

How is that different from you demanding sex?

 

[member162951]

It does not matter what “should be,” it is what it is. Most women with any sense of upbringing are not giving up sex for free. A public semi-formal date is a bare minimum.

Where did I say she's giving it up for free? Can you quote where I said or even suggested that?

Again, it's about her "demanding" dinner and controlling the frame. If you're unable to understand that, I don't know what to tell ya.

There are plenty of things to do that don’t entail going to a formal restaurant. I actually know some very high quality women who dislike high end dining.

My gf is one. A cool pub with great apps, great vibe and music is more up her alley, same for me.

 

[corrector]

It's about her demanding it that's the problem. I trust you understand the difference.

It's about determining whether or not she is a high quality woman with a little or no body-count. Her demands being an issue depends more on who she is and if they are compatible.

 

[member162951]

How is that different from you demanding sex?

I don't "demand" sex, and don't believe men should demand sex.

Where are you getting this shyt? Not from anything I've posted.

 

[corrector]

I don't "demand" sex, where are you getting this shyt? Not from anything I've posted.

He is talking about the OP. The title of the thread is SMASH or PASS. Is that what you talk about a high quality woman or a hor?

 

[member162951]

He is talking about the OP. The title of the thread is SMASH or PASS. Is that what you talk about a high quality woman or a hor?

@EyeBRollin quoted MY post and asked me the question. I responded.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Again, it's about her "demanding" dinner and controlling the frame. If you're unable to understand that, I don't know what to tell ya.

There are plenty of things to do that don’t entail going to a formal restaurant. I actually know some very high quality women who dislike high end dining.

My gf is one. A cool pub with great apps, great vibe and music is more up her alley, same for me.

That’s cool, and what I meant. A public date including some food and activity. That is the bare minimum expectation from most females with an upbringing. Drinks only is fine for a first meeting, but to expect most women to put out from that alone is misguided. Would we want our daughters banging random dudes from the internet that bought her one drink and spent one hour with her at a bar? We would call that slvt behavior.

 

[corrector]

We would call that slvt behavior.

The only type of girl you'd ask about smashing or passing and have a negotiation of terms.

Honestly, a thread like this where someone is preoccupied about the indirect price of engaging a woman sounds like the same mindset of an escort thread. Sounds like she deserves better anyway.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The only type of girl you'd ask about smashing or passing and have a negotiation of terms.

Honestly, a thread like this where someone is preoccupied about the indirect price of engaging a woman sounds like the same mindset of an escort thread.

The way some guys talk these days, a common girl is worth less than an escort. At least the escort has a price. Usually >$100. Guys are expecting first date sex from a drink.

 

[member162951]

That’s cool, and what I meant. A public date including some food and activity. That is the bare minimum expectation from most females with an upbringing. Drinks only is fine for a first meeting, but to expect most women to put out from that alone is misguided. Would we want our daughters banging random dudes from the internet that bought her one drink and spent one hour with her at a bar? We would call that slvt behavior.

Cool we agree.

My entire argument from the beginning has been about her wanting to control the frame, not that she wants to be taken out versus Netflix and Chill.

Did you even read my posts? Again, if she's unhappy with what the OP proposed (Netflix and Chill), politely decline the invite.

Versus what she did which was take charge, demand dinner and control the frame.

 

[mikedee]

That’s cool, and what I meant. A public date including some food and activity. That is the bare minimum expectation from most females with an upbringing. Drinks only is fine for a first meeting, but to expect most women to put out from that alone is misguided. Would we want our daughters banging random dudes from the internet that bought her one drink and spent one hour with her at a bar? We would call that slvt behavior.

I agree but it doesnt mean that we have to pay for a fancy dinner because she asks for it. I dont buy fancy dinners and i do pretty well with women.

But yes, if I fvck the girl after one drink date, unless she is a 9 or a 10 im not interested to see her again, i like when girls have (a minimum) self respect, it turns me on.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Just think how this entitled, spoiled princess will act a month in, two months in, six months in if this is how she acts now.

I would have lost all attraction and just walked personally. Major turnoff for me.

Also why being a good cook comes in handy because you just invite them over to cook with you. Far more investment and no need to invite them home since they are already there.

And I don't have to worry about gaining 3 lbs from their high sodium, preservative filled food they serve.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

My approach, but I'm older, as are my targets:

A drink date that can turn into more, like a trendy brewpub with good food. Or, given I pursue sporty chicks, I usually feel them out for a hike or walk on the beach. I always make sure logistics make sense as well. I also have a full gym, pool, and jacuzzi - sometimes it's "let's work out together!" or a jacuzzi or pool. Those ALWAYS turn into sex.

Having a beach, hike, gym, or pool date lets you see their bodies and usually less makeup, allowing for kino (what chick doesn't like the idea of holding hands walking barefoot on the beach?). At my age I want to know if a woman has a full range of motion and no fused vertebrae (they don't fare well in bed with me) - I've come across women with chronic back issues as low down in age as 30 - they are a NOGO - maybe an ONS, but no more. Exercise: oh, that hurts? just put your hands on her and give her a rub. Pool? Give me your sunscreen, and I'll do your back, then ask her to do yours (hopefully, you have a back definition that AMOG's Michaelangelo's David). This lets her touch your body without feeling too forward.

Women who are athletes love their bodies, take care of them, and often do not drink, and they are sure as hell not eating dayboat scallops slathered in a butter/caper sauce...chicks like that Persian-looking gal above - STEER FACKING CLEAR. The athletic types are VERY physical and confident, this is a massive plus for you.

Do you think any chick is going to want to swallow your sausage after filling up on a $45 entree and half a bottle of wine? Unlikely. Work smart boys.