Unpopular opinion: cold approach is a WASTE of time.

[Manure Spherian]

Pray tell how you don't think game is required? Its fundamental knowledge to be applied for success.

I’ve been with an OK amount of women. I don’t think I gamed them. Perhaps I did without considering what I did to be game.

 

[CornbreadFed]

After getting cold approached today, I will double down on my opinion. Unless I am in an environment that cold approaching is common or welcomed, I am not ready to be cold approached in other situations.

 

[Sinn]

After getting cold approached today, I will double down on my opinion. Unless I am in an environment that cold approaching is common or welcomed, I am not ready to be cold approached in other situations.

That is the point about cold approach. You have to be socially aware of when and when not to approach.

 

[Ricky]

I will sit down and read this whole thread but initial thoughts/contributions

Cold approach builds social skills and it can be synergistic with other methods of meeting women. The same skills you build meeting women in person can help any online and texting applications. Its also damn fun to be social and meet new people. Hell i've met tons of great women and also made new guy friends from going out to bars and cold approaching women.

Multiple times in my life i've moved to new cities where i knew noone initially. If i limited myself to going out with new co-workers or online game it wouldn't have led me to some of the funnest experiences of my life. I've learned about places in cities that even the locals didn't know.

Life is about exploration. Someone said life is about the books you read and the people you meet. It's sad that alot of people don't make an effort to do either (read books or meet people).

 

[characternote]

Pray tell how you don't think game is required? Its fundamental knowledge to be applied for success.

it's kinda the most irrelevant part. The benchmark is to basically not be a complete oddball weirdo who can't make eye contact or keep a convo going for 6 seconds. Maybe peoples social skills have deteriorated so much since the smartphone and stuff that people now think it's 'game' if you you hold eye contact and they need to be 'taught' basic things that all normal people just do.

It's mostly just a marketing concept designed to take naive mens money lol. Not one PUA expert is out there getting results that surprise anyone or that would be considered extremely unusual. And they all get rejected a hell of a lot still, despite their 'advanced game' and techniques etc. In my body and location, I'm confident nobody gets amazingly better results than me for example.

There's never been infields where a PUA is regularly turning 'nos' into 'yes''s due to his 'game'. She basically decides within half a second and from that point, it's more or less set in stone. It's a numbers game. For EVERYONE! The concepts are basically either pure bro-science OR, as mentioned earlier, it's literally stuff any normal 12 year old already does and knows!

I’ve been with an OK amount of women. I don’t think I gamed them. Perhaps I did without considering what I did to be game.

Basically this. I've had my fair share at this point. I've also been a full on PUA nerd at times and have read and watched studied and tried basically every PUA concept you can think of. I have many lays and many more rejections. At times I'd convince myself it was the amazing opener and pushpull line or the NLP verbals or some other cringy stuff, but as time has gone on (not to mention talking to girls in the morning after sex to pick their brains etc) i'm convinced that each lay wasn't really down to anything special I did (I was just her type and so it was 'on' from the second I said 'hi'), and each rejection was complete out of my control and that there was nothing to learn from them other than I simply wasn't her type. And the same applies for PUA experts and coaches etc. It's clear if you watch enough infields. THey're playing the same 'numbers game' as everyone else!!

 

[Fruitbat]

Cold approach works in Sales, which is where most of the techniques came from. Not everyone is good at Sales, so why should they be any good at cold approach in seduction?

I’ve been in sales my whole life and what I’d always say about both cold approach and sales is that it’s easier when it’s just a normal conversation and not a formatted plan.

Loads of people fail at sales as they think it’s a hunt, that you’re putting one over on your mark and you have to win a battle of wills.

It’s not. What you do is screen potential clients to see what they want and need. You then use your knowledge and understanding to see if what you’re selling helps them. You just go and have a chat, if you can’t help them, you move on.

I was unwittingly “cold approaching” my whole life when I wasn’t in an LTR. Girl at the bus stop? Chat her up. Waiting in line? Make a joke with her. This was just what life is if you’re a pro-social guy with a wee bit of charm.
Sometimes the words come, sometimes they don’t. This way, it seems conversational, it seems normal. You get an idea within about 10 seconds if they’re interested in you. If they don’t seem like they want to speak then move on.

Spending time to walk around shopping centres alone randomly walking up to women and creeping them out with your rehearsed lines is sad AF. It has a bit of Elliot Rodger about it, not really understanding the human dynamics of how humans meet and dance the dance of interaction.

If you’re monumentally buff and wealthy looking you might do OK as most women will have seen you long before you saw them and were hoping you would talk. For the 99% then you have to make it seem low key.

Time spent on “cold approach” could be much better spent moving towards being that guy. Spend a Saturday and Sunday working on yourself and the women come. They select you remember.

men want numbers, women want quality. Quality women generally don’t want guys who chase them down the street with thirst. You have to be subtle and make it a “chance” encounter. Too much risk cold approaching to come off like an incel wandering the barren wastelands of pvssy desperately looking for a home for their erection.

As a young man I put all my effort into DJing and earning and this got me more than 100 days wandering malls. I had a life

 

[DonJuanjr]

i'm convinced that each lay wasn't really down to anything special I did (I was just her type and so it was 'on' from the second I said 'hi'), and each rejection was complete out of my control and that there was nothing to learn from them other than I simply wasn't her type

Maybe unlearning is the final step.

 

[SW15]

Quality women generally don’t want guys who chase them down the street with thirst. You have to be subtle and make it a “chance” encounter.

It is possible to do outdoor approach on streets, walking/hiking paths, and at parks and make it look natural, even if you're doing an approach session.

The biggest key is to make eye contact initially and approach them in a way while facing them. Never approach from a behind starting position.

Even when you're doing more subtle approaches that look more natural, there's still a low conversion rate in setting first dates or instantaneous dates.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It is possible to do outdoor approach on streets, walking/hiking paths, and at parks and make it look natural, even if you're doing an approach session.

I meet a lot of women that way, but Amsterdam is very conducive to walking around and seeing the sights.

Even when you're doing more subtle approaches that look more natural, there's still a low conversion rate in setting first dates or instantaneous dates.

I rarely go for instaneous dates, but about 1 in 3 women I meet are up for evening drinks.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

This applies to a dating, it’s not a numbers game at all. It’s how you let others perceive you and pick the opportunities you want to pursue

Exactly. If you have a solid reputation, you will easily find opportunities in your social circles.

 

[SW15]

I meet a lot of women that way, but Amsterdam is very conducive to walking around and seeing the sights.

That's true about Amsterdam. European metropolitan areas in general are better for outdoor game than most United States metropolitan areas.

In the United States, some of the older cities like New York City, Boston, and Chicago are better for outdoor game, particularly regular street game due to increased foot traffic.

Cities that grew after World War II and/or the automobile becoming popular are weaker for outdoor game in general. Cities that would fit this description would be Dallas, Denver, Houston, and Phoenix, though these aren't the only cities that fit the description.

Dallas has 2 outdoor walking paths that are acceptable for approaching, and a few parks near Downtown/Uptown that are acceptable for approaching. Even with that, approaching in those locations in Dallas doesn't compare well to the pedestrian foot traffic on city streets in New York City or London.

On Dallas' paths, most women are exercising and wearing earbuds, trying to discourage approaches. Dogs are also a factor here. Dogs can help with approaching to some extent but they can also hinder an approach. It's my preference to approach someone without a dog present as I think they have the potential to have more free time for an extended, 5-10 minute conversation that can result in a first date being arranged.

I rarely go for instaneous dates, but about 1 in 3 women I meet are up for evening drinks.

An instantaneous date is a rare outcome of an outdoor daygame approach. I've had it happen before but I will rarely push for it.

Same evening drinks would be a good outcome of a daygame approach.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Same evening drinks would be a good outcome of a daygame approach.

Also, I'm not PUA, so I'm not 'cold approaching'. Women in general consider me approachable and often come over for a chat. If I like them and they are available I meet them over drinks, but I'm quite selective with regards of doing kink/sex with them. From the indications they give me, most of them would be open to intimacy.

 

[YourGreatestFear]

Yes. The reason why I made @Jesse Pinkman leave the forum after he threw a tantrum at me . I kept criticizing his (seemingly) endless and not fruitful efforts to get his D wet due to cold approach.

Here's the thing:
-a man must build himself UP.
-Cold approaching IF YOU are successful at it,will cost you TONS of money, time and energy in multiple ways: first the venues where you chase(club, bar ,drinks clothes ect) secondly the actual dates...
- you are way WAY better off spending time learning skills which can give you LEVERAGE over time.
-its about power my friends. I've been with ap many women that I can safely say that they WON'T make you happy. The happiness comes when you obtain true power and abundance. Chasing P00SY will always put and leave you in a losing position.

Cold approach is a waste of time.

Wrong place to post this? On a niche forum where men look for shortcuts and formulas to get easy shortcuts to get women.

We are dumb enough to run thia rat race with women. All the while we have time on our side IF we practice self reservation.

Lol, lmao. Cold approach is when you see a girl and do what you want, follow your desire to meet her and **** her. Not making cold approaches when you can is you acting against your desires, how much "true power and abundance" is in it? How much power and abundance is in being a *****, buddy?
To reply to all of your points.
1. Building yourself up doesn't contradict cold approach at all.
2. Cold approach doesn't cost anything, wtf are you talking about. Approaching a girl in a grocery store doesn't cost you ****. Going on a date with her will only cost you whatever you buy yourself, which isn't a cost. And how poor you are to give a **** about this anyway? Not everyone is broke.
3. Cold approach doesn't require much time, meeting women is a HOBBY. I doubt that you use all your free time to learn useful skills, lol.
4. What the heck, why would anyone expect women to make him happy? Banging new women is just a pleasant pastime. It's like saying "having friends wouldn't make you happy". No ****, Sherlock. But NOT having any friends in your life sucks and can definitely make you unhappy.

Also, stop chasing p*ssy. You aren't chasing anyone, but giving them a chance to have a better life by being with you.

 

[Gamisch]

Lol, lmao. Cold approach is when you see a girl and do what you want, follow your desire to meet her and **** her. Not making cold approaches when you can is you acting against your desires, how much "true power and abundance" is in it? How much power and abundance is in being a *****, buddy?
To reply to all of your points.
1. Building yourself up doesn't contradict cold approach at all.
2. Cold approach doesn't cost anything, wtf are you talking about. Approaching a girl in a grocery store doesn't cost you ****. Going on a date with her will only cost you whatever you buy yourself, which isn't a cost. And how poor you are to give a **** about this anyway? Not everyone is broke.
3. Cold approach doesn't require much time, meeting women is a HOBBY. I doubt that you use all your free time to learn useful skills, lol.
4. What the heck, why would anyone expect women to make him happy? Banging new women is just a pleasant pastime. It's like saying "having friends wouldn't make you happy". No ****, Sherlock. But NOT having any friends in your life sucks and can definitely make you unhappy.

Also, stop chasing p*ssy. You aren't chasing anyone, but giving them a chance to have a better life by being with you.

You are 28. Perfectly fine to have to mindset now.

When you are entering 40 league , a notch count above 160 with kids to take care off you better find other things to do besides roaming the streets looking for women. And you better learn to control your desires. Or get new desires. And geuss what ,you only get 24 hours a day.

The interesting thing is that there are plenty of men who somehow understand this UNPOPULAR opinion. learn before you scream young buck.

 

[YourGreatestFear]

You are 28. Perfectly fine to have to mindset now.

When you are entering 40 league , a notch count above 160 with kids to take care off you better find other things to do besides roaming the streets looking for women.

The interesting thing is that there are plenty of men who somehow understand this UNPOPULAR opinion.

If you're 40, and you still didn't "build yourself up as a man", then you wasted your younger years and women or cold approach probably has little to do with it. You could've as well named your post "if you're a middle-aged guy who didn't achieve much in life, then you should have some higher priorities than getting laid", which I completely agree with, lol.

 

[Gamisch]

If you're 40, and you still didn't "build yourself up as a man", then you wasted your younger years and women or cold approach probably has little to do with it. You could've as well named your post "if you're a middle-aged guy who didn't achieve much in life, then you should have some higher priorities than getting laid", which I completely agree with, lol.

Depends

If you are 26 and you impregnate a woman for the first time( due to cold approach) then yeah ,something gotta give. Shorty cant eat no books. While your paychecks are spent on ****tails, mine were spent on diapers.


Typical female mindset, expecting a man to "retire at 40". While every man who knows a thing or two about life knows that 40 is just the beginning for a man.

Besides that, everyone has his own path in life. And its not about achieving much in life:the more you achieve the less you likely you will be roaming the streets looking for women.

The build of a man never ever stops. It can even become a better build once a man experienced the same game over and over and over again and he starts to realize that he wants more out of life.

 

[Gamisch]

My point still stands:

Let me rephrase my standpoint: after 35 its pointless to engage within cold approach as the manosphere means it(that means roaming the streets endlessly chasing women.) Ofcourse you'll try to cease an opportunity when it arrives ( e.g clear ioi or just a frisky mood/ a horny day / party with women ect. But iirc ,you're a "black belt" regarding gettkg women so tou have a bag full of tricks.


Its no different from playing videogames all day long: a useless endeavor. After 35 you gotta have a100+ notch count and move the F on , ans try to become a millionaire somehow somewat

I made a thread earlier with this video from coach EO who explains it better:

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

www.youtube.com

 

[SW15]

Let me rephrase my standpoint: after 35 its pointless to engage within cold approach as the manosphere means it(that means roaming the streets endlessly chasing women.) Ofcourse you'll try to cease an opportunity when it arrives ( e.g clear ioi or just a frisky mood/ a horny day / party with women ect. But iirc ,you're a "black belt" regarding gettkg women so tou have a bag full of tricks.

Do you consider lingering around indoor retail venues (grocery store, mall, etc.) and looking for approach opportunities the same as roaming the streets? Where does approaching strangers at nightlife venues fall into this for men 35+? Approaching at a nightlife venue is still a major effort.

For some 35+ men, their only options are deciding between approaching strangers in-person, tech-based methods (swipe apps or DMs on Instagram), or trying to build a social circle from nothing. Those are all difficult options for any 35+ man.

 

[Gamisch]

Do you consider lingering around indoor retail venues (grocery store, mall, etc.) and looking for approach opportunities the same as roaming the streets? Where does approaching strangers at nightlife venues fall into this for men 35+? Approaching at a nightlife venue is still a major effort.

For some 35+ men, their only options are deciding between approaching strangers in-person, tech-based methods (swipe apps or DMs on Instagram), or trying to build a social circle from nothing. Those are all difficult options for any 35+ man.

Watch the video.

Imo its indeed the same thing. Bar /club game is dead, a man is better off focusing on other ways to increase his value in the eyes of women. After 35/40 (/45 in some severe cases ) a man must move on amd focus on other things.

If you're missing the boat of money/status maxxing after this age, you're doomed. Way too many men chase these dreams ofa high notch count like its a rolex: if you have it will just eat dust eventually. Focus on the right shyte.

The world is full of former Chad/Tyrone tier men who fell off and have nothing to show for. And believe me: life goes on andall tge past memories will be blurry at best. Even if you have a 1000 notch count. You'll want new(quality)punani eventually.

______________________________________
To elaborate further; my pov is also cultural.

In my culture around 40 you can be a grandfather, by having a child at 20 who gets a child at 20 also.

Being a Caribbean man in the western hemisphere I've seen that there's a point where cold approaching becomes cringey. At the end we only get 24 hours a day. How you spend these is essential.

 

[Fruitbat]

I’ve been in sales ever since college, my accounts now are the top 4 in their industry. People think sales is about cold calling, thats for the entry level folks or those that never made a career in sales.

It’s about building relationships and being someone that people want to be around and know you. What you bring to the table both professionally and personally.

This applies to a dating, it’s not a numbers game at all. It’s how you let others perceive you and pick the opportunities you want to pursue

This is very true but I actually like a days cold calling to keep me sharp. I have a team which does most of that but for all the young ‘uns I make them do a good 4-5 days cold calling - with me, in a room, to show them A/ I’m not “above” cold calling and B/ it’s the absolute cornerstone skill of all salespeople.

Some of these lads don’t even need to cold call. They will inherit relationships, they don’t need to, but I make them do it.

this is B2B sales so it’s not like cold calling regular people, but cold Calling is such a heartbreaking, hardslog, it teaches you so much.

key thing I try to get over:

- What’s the worst that can happen? They can say “No” - oooooh! How terrible!

- generally they think “if I’m pushy they will never buy from us”. Fact is, if they aren’t buying currently, then so what? Nothing to lose.