Unpopular opinion: cold approach is a WASTE of time.

[mikedee]

Short term ,yes.

But lets say you do "kmow what you're doing" and you land 4 dime pieces.

What's next? 4 times wine and dine ar fancy restaurant x? Who will pay for all of this?

When you're not making money= it costs you money. Chilling at the beach doing nothing =time not spend on building yourself up.

Wine and dine?? I never to that. Only loosers do that. I invite them for a drink it costs me 20$. Dating costs money, old or cold approach, you still have to go on dates. Sometimes it doesn't cost me anything.

 

[Gamisch]

If you go somewhere and the opportunity strikes to CA an attractive woman, that little 'detour' is all the 'time' it costs you. And if the CA just results in gaining more experience in conversing with women, that is pretty good ROI.
Going out specifically to cold approach women is often a waste of time because it often feels forced and women often respond lukewarm to being accosted by another player.

When I first started cold approaching and was not very experienced with women, my buddy and I would hit up multiple bars in a night. We would walk in and if we saw hot girls we would approach them. If we didn't, we walked right back out. This was fun and exciting, but the results weren't there. Reminds me of the the Jesse Pinkman reports.

As we got more experienced we realized there were different types of venues we were more successful in. I was really good at places that had dancing as well as places that weren't so loud and were more social and attracted people that enjoyed good conversation. These were environments that I felt very comfortable and I enjoyed being in.

What I learned was for me to be most successful at finding girls, I needed to be there to have fun and enjoy myself(dance and talk to people) first and foremost. The women needed to be secondary. Because when a man is enjoying himself in his environment he displays confidence and an aura that is attractive to women. The women always seemed to make themselves available in their own subtle ways. They were in my orbit already, I didn't have to enter into theirs. Their defense mechanism wasnt so strong so it leads to better results.

I'd have to agree that if you aren't doing cold approach correctly, it can be a waste of time. But when done correctly a guy can enjoy himself as well as find a few girls. Earlier this year I was having better results approaching girls in real life, than OLD.

You have to figure out what works, keep improving, and be willing to change things up.

Another thing works is becoming a regular at a venue. Once you are there enough you get very comfortable, you have social proof, everyone knows you and you know them, and the bar tenders take care of you. You'll get introduced to other people because of who you know. This can open doors that normally wouldn't.

I combine thess responses.

Because this is my ideal vision on C approach anyway. I'd say i compare it with having a black belt in ...karate or Brazilian Jujitsu. If and when the moment strikes you will be ready because you "trained" for these particular moments.

Because you are trained you might feel less intencive to "proof yourself ". You can fold up a MF at any given moment. Instead of proving yourself over and over again you spend time on OTHER things.

 

[Gamisch]

One is necessary the other one can simply be built into your normal every day functioning when you are out and about and doesn't require you setting out an extra 2-3 hours of your day to do

Lets be real:

if you are working fulltime, have a side hustle, hit the gym on a regular, and need to keep your household in check do you have time to roam the streets for those 4 hours a day you have left?

Or weekends. You wanna spend an entire Saturday on approach? Oke. You get multiple numbers.

So now you're either spending time with a woman or chasing a woman. Those previous successful approaches need to be nurtured, ya know..This is what i call the " LOOP OF POOKIE &RAYRAY".

Meanwhile another MF actually builds HIMSELF UP.

10 years later. Pookie has some STDs, baby momma drama and other bs like fights with others pookies ,while the socalled "man without balls" chills on a BOAT, has cash to burn on whatever he likes and to invest and has several skills he can monetize even further because he uses his time to develop SKILLS.

And what willl this pookie-ish man do? Yup, cold approach some MORE...

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Because this is my ideal vision on C approach anyway. I'd say i compare it with having a black belt in ...karate or Brazilian Jujitsu. If and when the moment strikes you will be ready because you "trained" for these particular moments.

It's indeed like 'muscle memory' or 'mushin no shin', acting without thought.
Women laugh and tell me they can tell immediately whether I'm talking on the phone to a man or a woman, since my voice immediately lowers in pitch and gets a flirty undertone when it's a woman calling.
Same when I'm in a bar and bump into an attractive lady, like a reflex I will seamlessly use the chance collision to check whether she's open for intimacy.

 

[mikedee]

These guys have no ide what they are talking

A girl that is only cute ( a 7 ) showed me her bumble, she had 2k likes in like 1 week

Unless the timing is right + you have a solid profile you will never even have the chance to match with her

These guys who are bad at cold approaching are also the guys with not a solid online dating profile, who are just satisfied to clear OLD of all the sub par women

I had a Colombian friend, hb 6, she showed me her Tinder. She had so many matches and messages, it was endless. Most guys were 8 and above. I couldnt believe it. All thirsty to meet her.
I like her she's cool but I would not notice her on the street and immediately swipe her left on OLD.

 

[SW15]

Approaching strangers and trying to arrange first dates or same night sex is inefficient. There's a good case to be made that it is a waste of time. That's even true for men with average to above average looks and social skills.

The majority of women that a man will approach in a non-bar venue won't be seeking new penis. They will likely already be in a relationship. Some can be swayed to monkey branch, but that's not probable.

In theory, a bar will have more women seeking new penis. In practice, a lot of bars aren't that good for finding prospects. There's a lot of attention whorring.

In both bar and non-bar approach, a lot of approaches will fizzle out within 30-60 seconds. That's not enough time to determine anything meaningful.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

One is necessary the other one can simply be built into your normal every day functioning when you are out and about and doesn't require you setting out an extra 2-3 hours of your day to do

So a colostomy bag in other words

 

[SargeMaximus]

I’ve been saying this for years

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So a colostomy bag in other words

Hey whatever works!

 

[Gamisch]

Eventually all things will make sense.

I also often times wonder where us " the balance " in modern dating? If women have such an abundance while men struggle so much? A smv 8 man vs a hb 6 isn't even a fair game. I am also from a era before OLD ,where you had to approach, and you got " lucky " every now and then.

But then the realization strikes me.. oke instead of having 2k matches in a week ,you will be busy building YOURSELF. Let those women have their 2k likes. Eventually she'll make poor decisions anyway. She'll go for the man that all the other women go for as well. Like a primitive animal keeps making the same predictable moves.




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Lets not forget that back then you cold approached a dimepiece with the goal to KEEP her around for SOME time. Ofcourse you tried to get more than one, but hell no you would throw away a nice hb7,5.

Even IF a man gets many likes he'll end up feminized; you'll be spending WAY too much time framing yourself with and around women.(funny side note : all these socalled "Chads " ALWAYS look like women themselves lol. In order for a man to be "model tier pretty " he must have feminine traits, and all of this BS just because you must be "pretty" on a picture)

And then one day, boom. Looks fade, new invention ,now suddenly women like this or that.

More and more women will monitize their "abundance " of options. There are no more secrets gentlemen ...they ALL KNOW now how easy it is to get suitors and orbiters. They all know about OF. They all watch documentaries about "being a high class escort". They all loved 50 Shades. Sex(the serie) ,sex and the city (back then) ,Cardy B ect.

 

[Gamisch]

Eventually all things will make sense.

I also often times wonder where us " the balance " in modern dating? If women have such an abundance while men struggle so much? A smv 8 man vs a hb 6 isn't even a fair game. I am also from a era before OLD ,where you had to approach, and you got " lucky " every now and then.

But then the realization strikes me.. oke instead of having 2k matches in a week ,you will be busy building YOURSELF. Let those women have their 2k likes. Eventually she'll make poor decisions anyway. She'll go for the man that all the other women go for as well. Like a primitive animal keeps making the same predictable moves.




====================================


Lets not forget that back then you cold approached a dimepiece with the goal to KEEP her around for SOME time. Ofcourse you tried to get more than one, but hell no you would throw away a nice hb7,5.

Even IF a man gets many likes he'll end up feminized; you'll be spending WAY too much time framing yourself with and around women.(funny side note : all these socalled "Chads " ALWAYS look like women themselves lol. In order for a man to be "model tier pretty " he must have feminine traits, and all of this BS just because you must be "pretty" on a picture)

And then one day, boom. Looks fade, new invention ,now suddenly women like this or that.

More and more women will monitize their "abundance " of options. There are no more secrets gentlemen ...they ALL KNOW now how easy it is to get suitors and orbiters. They all know about OF. They all watch documentaries about "being a high class escort". They all loved 50 Shades. Sex(the serie) ,sex and the city (back then) ,Cardy B ect.

You are a FOOL if your main goal in life in this era is to chase women..

You'll be left broke, riddled with STDs and traumatic stress and drama. The cool giys and the players have TONS of deadweight, kids,debts. No modern or outdated skills. The players also couldn't forsee that their smv 8 shyte would = a hb5 due to male thirst.


I know nerdy dudes who've been working and saving money the past 20 years, and SUDDENLY their position starts to look brighter and brighter...hey if hb8 is a 304 anyway...might as well throw a ( for man in case) laughable amount of money at her like a 100/200 or even 300 bucks.

A man can build wealth ,power and thus financial abundance. Believe me , women WILL smell it on you. If you are a younger man ,around 20 ill promise you that your Gf will cheat on you .

EVEN HIGH PROFILE MEN FIND OUT EVERY DAY THAT THEIR WIVES HAVE ONLY FANS, DOING ESCORTING ECT.

You're a fool for chasing (CHASING) deadweight and trouble that will cripple you for many years. A woman is like a car, it loses value by the minute, let alone her attraction for you fades by the second.

Be smart. Cold approach MONEY ,STATUS SKILLS and POWER.

 

[Gamisch]

I had a Colombian friend, hb 6, she showed me her Tinder. She had so many matches and messages, it was endless. Most guys were 8 and above. I couldnt believe it. All thirsty to meet her.
I like her she's cool but I would not notice her on the street and immediately swipe her left on OLD.

What does this tell you?

That apparently that "8 dude" is also desperate and thirsty as FECK. 8 dude also gets ignored by hb6,5 and up.

And ofcourse he is. He is there ,swiping and matching with 6,s who ignore him. In a "best case scenario " she picks him , and he'll HAVE to invest in her...an hb6..what will be an hb5,8 next year...

I've come to the conclusion that I am an 8 + IF i go where I want and need to be. I can also get sixes on OLD ( and did it plenty of times) but it always felt like..."mweh..i MUST be able to get better" . No you wont Gamisch. Not untill you build yourself up to such a degree that you have LEVERAGE over these women.

 

[Learning Curve]

Yes. The reason why I made @Jesse Pinkman leave the forum after he threw a tantrum at me . I kept criticizing his (seemingly) endless and not fruitful efforts to get his D wet due to cold approach.

Here's the thing:
-a man must build himself UP.
-Cold approaching IF YOU are successful at it,will cost you TONS of money, time and energy in multiple ways: first the venues where you chase(club, bar ,drinks clothes ect) secondly the actual dates...
- you are way WAY better off spending time learning skills which can give you LEVERAGE over time.
-its about power my friends. I've been with ap many women that I can safely say that they WON'T make you happy. The happiness comes when you obtain true power and abundance. Chasing P00SY will always put and leave you in a losing position.

Cold approach is a waste of time.

Wrong place to post this? On a niche forum where men look for shortcuts and formulas to get easy shortcuts to get women.

We are dumb enough to run thia rat race with women. All the while we have time on our side IF we practice self reservation.

Learning skills that make you money, that improve your health yes.

Cold approach is the only way to get a woman to like you for you.

You are selling your personality, your looks only matter in the first 10 seconds.

If you are successful financially then you don't care how much money it will cost you if you can bang twice a week.

Cold approach will be and i'ts the only way to see if a woman is into you directly, body language and many other variables in place.

It's not about a woman making you happy, it's about having your love life in check besides Health and Wealth in place.

 

[Gamisch]

Learning skills that make you money, that improve your health yes.

Cold approach is the only way to get a woman to like you for you.

You are selling your personality, your looks only matter in the first 10 seconds.

If you are successful financially then you don't care how much money it will cost you if you can bang twice a week.

Cold approach will be and i'ts the only way to see if a woman is into you directly, body language and many other variables in place.

It's not about a woman making you happy, it's about having your love life in check besides Health and Wealth in place.

People act like "being financially successful " is something that is easily obtained. Like its the least problematic part of your life..while its the BIGGEST problem for most men. Their money /lifestyle ect isn't up to par with the quality of women they REALLY want.

Most men dont get anywhere near financial success before 40. Around the same time where their physical appearance starts to deteriorate. You cant have your cake and eat it too. You cant be an cold approach expert , spending time with women all the time while you're also this financial mogul. A woman is a depreciating asset!! Even if she's " cool " she'll always demand time and money from you. Unless you find a great fit.

You don't care about money until its gone...i get what you're saying, but it sounds too good to be true.

 

[Learning Curve]

People act like "being financially successful " is something that is easily obtained. Like its the least problematic part of your life..while its the BIGGEST problem for most men. Their money /lifestyle ect isn't up to par with the quality of women they REALLY want.

Most men dont get anywhere near financial success before 40. Around the same time where their physical appearance starts to deteriorate. You cant have your cake and eat it too. You cant be an cold approach expert , spending time with women all the time while you're also this financial mogul. A woman is a depreciating asset!! Even if she's " cool " she'll always demand time and money from you. Unless you find a great fit.

You don't care about money until its gone...i get what you're saying, but it sounds too good to be true.

Women will always demand time and money from you there is nothing you can do about that.

You either enjoy it and move on, or you build rules and regulations to match your "personality" and feel better about ur-self not investing at all to women. There is not right or wrong. Nobody will judge you if you invest money in women, bang and enjoy life.

If you don't want that then that's fine and i get that. At the end of the day is about what you want to achieve in life as a final outcome.

I always loved women, i don't care about spending 20 or 100 bucks going out and having fun if it's worth my time, and I find a quality woman.

Yes I agree with you that finding a quality woman is really not that easy. It's hard. Especially if you are broke, and you live with your mom in the basement. Forget quality women if you have this lifestyle.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Which is why I would say it's only worth doing when you are actually out and about places in your daily life rather than taking time and going out to actually do just that.

This is how it always worked for me.

 

[Barrister]

These guys have no ide what they are talking

A girl that is only cute ( a 7 ) showed me her bumble, she had 2k likes in like 1 week

Unless the timing is right + you have a solid profile you will never even have the chance to match with her

These guys who are bad at cold approaching are also the guys with not a solid online dating profile, who are just satisfied to clear OLD of all the sub par women

I think I may have told this story here before, but I have a client who I have gotten to know over the years who I would classify as "above average" but certainly nothing you would double take at if you saw her on the street (probably a HB 6). She showed me her Bumble once about a year ago and it was similar to what you describe. She said she couldn't even keep up with all of the matches and conversation she had going at once. Now imagine you get a chick on there who is legitimately a HB 8+. I imagine a woman like that every time she "swiped right" would create a match with whomever she was looking at unless they had not already seen her profile.

OLD is good if you are coming out of an LTR and need to shake the rust off or you are literally just looking to sleep with as many women as possible. If you are looking for higher end plates or an LTR I would steer clear.

 

[Barrister]

Lets be real:

if you are working fulltime, have a side hustle, hit the gym on a regular, and need to keep your household in check do you have time to roam the streets for those 4 hours a day you have left?

Or weekends. You wanna spend an entire Saturday on approach? Oke. You get multiple numbers.

So now you're either spending time with a woman or chasing a woman. Those previous successful approaches need to be nurtured, ya know..This is what i call the " LOOP OF POOKIE &RAYRAY".

Meanwhile another MF actually builds HIMSELF UP.

10 years later. Pookie has some STDs, baby momma drama and other bs like fights with others pookies ,while the socalled "man without balls" chills on a BOAT, has cash to burn on whatever he likes and to invest and has several skills he can monetize even further because he uses his time to develop SKILLS.

And what willl this pookie-ish man do? Yup, cold approach some MORE...

I think this is a gross over-simplification of reality. First, you do not need to set aside 2-4 hours every weekend to cold approach. You can do this when you are out and about with friends and see a woman you are interested in or when you are out on your own browsing furniture. It also does not mean you need to "spam" approach like some guys on here act like it means. You can be selective and frankly being selective in who you approach is more effective in a controlled setting anyway.

Lastly, you can build a healthy lifestyle and still be spinning plates for years on end. That generally isn't MY style, but I have done it before. Your example of "Pookie" being broke and fighting with other low lifes after a decade of spinning plates doesn't really have any real-life application anymore than the life-long orbiter who suddenly has bought a boat and is satisfied with his life. "Pookie" can be the guy on the boat and lifelong orbiter the guy broke and with nothing to show. In fact, based on my life experience, the latter is probably more likely given the traits the guy who gets all the women normally has vs. the other guy.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I think if you weigh OLD vs. CA, a lot depends on location and logistics. If you live in a rural / remote area, you won't be able to meet many people and OLD makes more sense than CA. If you live in a tourist attraction like New York, Paris, Moscow, London, or Tokyo, you will have many more opportunities to CA.
And despite what OP might think, there are a lot of advantages in personal approaches that are difficult to get across on OLD/chats.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I would compare approaching women to sales (you are essentially trying to sell yourself). How many successful companies and salespeople rely on cold calling and spam emails to sell their products?