Approaches are at an all time low these days, there’s tons of videos about women complaining about it. I think there’s a larger issue than women are afraid of turning men down because men aren’t even approaching these days. Nobody wants to end up on TikTok or Facebook or whatever.
In-person approaches might be reduced now as compared to 20 or 30 years ago, but that's not a big deal for most women.
Let's compare how many "approaches" a 30 year old single woman in 1998 fielded as compared to a 30 year old single woman fields in 2023.
A 30 year old woman in 1998 likely wasn't using dating websites like Match.com in 1998. Dating websites existed in 1998, but were still stigmatized. A 30 year old in 1998 had to get approached at a variety of places in the real world. A 30 year old single woman in 1998 would have gotten herself out in the real world and would have found ways to get approached.
In 2023, a 30 year old woman can field 10x or more approaches than her 1998 equivalent without leaving her home. All she has to do is put up an Instagram profile and a profile on 1-2 swipe apps. She might also get some DMs on LinkedIn if she's white collar. In 2023, a woman hasn't had to leave her home for the past 10-15 years in order to arrange first dates. She might arrange better quality first dates as a result of leaving her home, but that's optional.
Most women might get fewer approaches in the real world now than their 1993, 1998, or 2003 equivalents, but that doesn't matter that much since the 2023 woman has more overall options from the digital world as compared to her 1993, 1998, or 2003 equivalents.
When a woman rejects you, she's giving you valuable information about yourself and your approach. Just because you're attracted to her enough to approach her, doesn't mean she is attracted to you. Even when you see signals indicating mutual attraction, you can still get rejected on traits that weren't visible from a distance.
Receive a rejection like you'd receive negative feedback. The more information you receive, the better the rejection will help you to improve on yourself by pointing out your unattractive qualities.
If some man has a rejection rate of near 100%, that's going to be problematic. Some level of individual rejection isn't good but if a man does 50 approaches and doesn't arrange at least one first date or doesn't get same night sex from those approaches, it's a real issue. While some of the individual 50 rejections can be written off and ignored, the collective outcome cannot be ignored.
In general, approaching strangers in the real world does have a low success rate. A guy like
@nicksaiz65 has kept approach logs on this forum and he's had 20-30 approach nights not resulting in any outcomes.
Swiping on apps and sending DMs on Instagram generally also has a low success rate too. However, a lot of the rejections aren't real time, and that can be a good thing. Trying to have success using swipe apps or from Instagram DMs is more frustrating than even most real world stranger approach methods. In general, I'd recommend finding dates in the real world as compared to the swipe apps and Instagram.
The best way to reduce rejection rate is to only date through social circle methods.
Many women will not reject directly, they will use the "I Have A Boyfriend" excuse or something similar. This is not because they secretly want you to challenge that*, but because they know from experience is that many guys do not handle rejection very well. There's a saying, "men fear ridicule, women fear violence". There are enough examples of irate rejected men who feel 'honour bound' to punish the woman rejecting them by beating up the woman / throwing acid / outright murdering her for the audacity to refuse them. If a woman actually rejects you directly she either trusts you not do anything stupid or she's armed and prepared to violently protect herself.
IHAB is bullshiit. Mostly every IHAB should be challenged with a boyfriend destroyer line.
I've gotten so few IHABs in the past decade that I thought the IHAB was dead. I thought women had moved beyond the IHAB and were using more sophisticated excuses.
Most rejections will be soft rejections, as most conversations will fizzle out naturally before there is an ask out. Most conversations fizzle out in 30-60 seconds when approaching strangers in non-bar settings. Bar approaches might go slightly longer, but not much longer. There's an expectation of approaching in nightlife venues, whereas a woman isn't expecting an approach in a non-bar setting.
I generally agree most of your posts, but I do not with this post. First and foremost, guys need to accept that they can’t attract every girl. The second point is that there can be a million different reasons on why a woman isn’t attracted to you. Furthermore, some can be non physical related not entirely your fault. The most common two reasons are that she is not emotionally available or you are not her type. Given these two reasons alone, how does her feedback benefit you? It really doesn't tbh, it might make you even more upset. You are better off just telling her have a nice day and moving forward.
For example, you are talking to this girl, but you do not know that she has this guy that's her idea type on her number one spot that she is waiting to show a sign of commitment. Eventually he does, and she tells you that things aren't going to work out because she doesn't feel a spark and you dig deeper to find out there's another guy. Digging deeper, lets say you actually know this guy and you know for a fact that you make more money than him, physically more attractive than him, and etc. However, it is because he reminds her of her ex BF and she gets the butterflies with him. How does this help you improve your game?
The best way to reduce failed approach rate is to be good looking. Being 6'0"+ and fit helps a lot. Bigger muscles help. Looks matter more than money in the first 30-60 seconds of approaches. Money can be evident in certain approaches but money matters more if you can get that first date or get the initial approach beyond a few minutes.
I agree with a lot of what's said in this post.
