35 and a virgin, is it best to give up?

[BackInTheGame78]

Sounds like you haven't even really tried yet, just given up at the first sign of failure.

 

[Anom]

Why are you starting the gym now at 35 when you've never been with a girl before? What was the advice people gave when you were 2007/2008 here? I'm guessing you're very good at video games.

No? I've been working out on and off for years, but haven't reached that perfect toned body I've been going for. There was no... "advice" going on here around 2008. I'm seeing a lot of people that joined in 2014, 2018, 2023, etc. so you guys didn't have to see how awful the place was. It was like the place was run by know-it-all teenagers that were constantly twitching in rage, barely knew how to type, and acted like they ran the place. No professionalism, no carefully walking through steps. Just... douchiness. It was enough to make anyone go "Ugh, nevermind. I'll go to literally any other forum that isn't this one." Granted, I still read the articles attached to this forum, which were informative, but avoided the forum like the plague.

My dad was run over by a 22,000lbs vehicle and miraculously survived and doesn't need a wheelchair, but moving around is still painfully tough for him. My mom has advanced trigeminal neuralgia which was pretty much crippled her. Oh wait, it gets better, she's starting to develop schizophrenic tendencies. So I have to balance my life, my jobs and helping my folks all at the same time.

As for posting a better picture of myself, yeah... I'm still gonna look like garbage no matter what due to my exhausting life. So I'm sure those "sad puppy eyes" or whatever the comparison was is still gonna be there.

Edit: Oh, and for the record... that picture of myself is NOT "at my worst". My worst would make that picture look like the damn Mona Lisa.

 

[johnrambo]

@Anom There is a thread on your subject that might want to read:

Tips for adult male virgins by coach Nick Notas

I’ve wanted to make a thread about this video ever since @corrector tagged me in that thread about the HealthyGamerGG video on adult virgins. I came across this video awhile ago and I found it pretty useful and informative. I’m not sure if I would hire Nick as a coach or not as I already have...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Anom]

Why didn't you post a picture of your whole body? If you've been working on and off I'm sure you should be somewhat fit, post a picture. What's you height and weight? What do you do for a living? How much you earn? Do you still live with your parents?

I've gained a bit of weight, so right now I'm in the "average" range. Maybe around 180, but wouldn't surprised if it was more. I am 5' 11". I am a manager at Walmart, what do I make? $14 an hour, which is also translates to "not enough", but I have the writing and game development thing, so that helps. I will also transfer to a job that my cousin runs, which pays about $20 an hour. I have a place with a friend, but depending on what my parents go through, I might stay a night or two there since my mother cannot be left alone.

I don't buy that BS excuse, guys like Pook, Rollo and others, their post were here, you probably didn't like the advice cause you needed to put the hard work.

I don't remember a Pook or Rollo. Were you here back then? The posts I got were nothing like what you guys are saying. You guys are posting steps for things, the posts from 2008 were a lot cruder, sloppier, badly-written and were closer to what a half-blind 4channer would type.

Everyone has problems, you're not the only one, life is painfully hard, there are people in the border exhausted to be in the US, and would love to trade places with you to take advantage of all the opportunities you're taking for granted.

All of that wasn't meant to be an excuse... it just makes it difficult to find time to find a girlfriend. I didn't say anything about being ungrateful or that I had the worst life ever.

Most of these guys are ruthless, they don't baby like they did to me at one point, sometimes you need somebody to kick your a$$ to make you wake up, if you expect pity here you won't get it.

Good, I don't want it. That's the kind of man a woman wants right? A man, not someone who drowns in self-pity.

Having written that, there is no reason to let life pass by you cause of your parents, when they die you'll be with no parents and your life a fvcking mess. Going to the gym for 1 hour, working out hard so you make muscles so you become more attractive, making meals preps, cooking good food for 3-4 days its not hard, if you can't have that discipline, you won't be able to accomplish anything. You're just putting BS excuses why your life is so hard and looking for pity.

Uuuggghhhh... again, not every single thing I explain is an excuse. Or at least not in the sense of "pity me!"

I'm already doing the gym for 1 hour. I do the stairmaster for 30 minutes, then 100 sit-ups,100 push-ups and do 30 heavy lifts. I don't know if that's enough. On the alternate day, I do the stairmaster for an entire hour, but not do the lifts. I still do the sit-ups and push-ups all the same. They do stay on a 300-400? calorie deficit, I don't remember the exact numbers.

 

[ManFromTartarus]

OP, it's good to get advice here, and a looks makeover that most are suggesting is well warranted, but don't limit your input to this forum. I would also get some outside opinions from people around you, especially women.

 

[The Duke]

There was no... "advice" going on here around 2008. I'm seeing a lot of people that joined in 2014, 2018, 2023, etc. so you guys didn't have to see how awful the place was. It was like the place was run by know-it-all teenagers that were constantly twitching in rage, barely knew how to type, and acted like they ran the place. No professionalism, no carefully walking through steps. Just... douchiness

Funny, I showed up here in 2008. I was freshly divorced, only had sex with one woman my entire life and that was the one that I married. I was clueless. Tried dating and got my ass handed to me. Had to date down just to get a date. With the help of this forum, and my desire to succeed and improve I became a top 30% guy that had no shortage of good looking girls lined up.

Those same ones you turned your nose up at, showed me the ropes and helped me gain knowledge I had no way of getting otherwise.

You are full of fuhking bullschitt...as much bullschitt as excuses.

 

[johnrambo]

Funny, I showed up here in 2008. I was freshly divorced, only had sex with one woman my entire life and that was the one that I married. I was clueless. Tried dating and got my ass handed to me. Had to date down just to get a date. With the help of this forum, and my desire to succeed and improve I became a top 30% guy that had no shortage of good looking girls lined up.

Very inspiring story

 

[Anom]

OP, it's good to get advice here, and a looks makeover that most are suggesting is well warranted, but don't limit your input to this forum. I would also get some outside opinions from people around you, especially women.

That's what spurred my confusion on the facial hair thing. Some women said they liked it. Some have said to keep the mustache, but lose the beard, while others say the opposite. I didn't even think I had the face that could work without facial hair.

I'm also not understanding the "smart glasses" thing, because a lot of people seem to have differing definitions on that. And I have to ask, WHY is there a swear filter on this forum when people can just circumvent it?

 

[Gamisch]

School was a boiling hot nightmare for me. I never got noticed, while everyone around me did. No matter how good I took care of myself, how charming I was, how funny I was, etc. it was a battle I could never win. Also, I noticed that every time I tried to approach or impress a girl, the universe throws an extremely embarrassing moment at me, like there's a cloud over my head.

Now, the last time I was at this forum, every member here would type like they were ****ing angry teenagers. This was back in 2007/2008. The members here were horrible horrible horrible back then, and so far, it seems to have improved greatly since then. A girl I liked flew over from Canada to see my best friend, and it messed my head up baaaaaaaaaaaad. And no one here cared, no one helped me, no one gave good advice, everyone just threw around bad advice as if it was good advice. It made me angrier and want to stay single forever.

Is it best to just stop eternally and focus on everything else in life? Should I save myself the embarrassment of trying? I'm a pretty creative liar, and I have successfully convinced people that I'm not a virgin. So maybe I could lie for the rest of time? Though I'd love to have sex, I don't seem to crave it as much as everyone else.

I don't know if it will help, but I can post a picture of myself if you guys want, so you can tell me what my chances are.

You are 35. Time to let go of your child hood traumas . Nobody gives a rats azz about your problems bruh .

I also don't like your attitude. You, as most dudes with your issue , are not humble enough. If you were more you'd be more appreciative of life, love your body, women, even this forum

Funny, I showed up here in 2008. I was freshly divorced, only had sex with one woman my entire life and that was the one that I married. I was clueless. Tried dating and got my ass handed to me. Had to date down just to get a date. With the help of this forum, and my desire to succeed and improve I became a top 30% guy that had no shortage of good looking girls lined up.

Those same ones you turned your nose up at, showed me the ropes and helped me gain knowledge I had no way of getting otherwise.

You are full of fuhking bullschitt...as much bullschitt as excuses.

This.

My sympathy must be earned, i dont give it away anymore. This isthe jungle, andmen like OP and all these other manchilds are food for the real lions.

This is like tge fourth 30+ virging this month lol. Lets see if OP knows how to act humble and put in the fecking work.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I'm already doing the gym for 1 hour. I do the stairmaster for 30 minutes, then 100 sit-ups,100 push-ups and do 30 heavy lifts. I don't know if that's enough. On the alternate day, I do the stairmaster for an entire hour, but not do the lifts. I still do the sit-ups and push-ups all the same. They do stay on a 300-400? calorie deficit, I don't remember the exact numbers.

You dont need a gym for what you are achieving with that training regimen.

If you are physicaly able to run, forget stairmasters and the likes. Running is a lot more time efficient and its a lot more masculine. Only women, fags and old farts use stairmasters. If you have problems with your knees go cycling.
Where do you live?

If you are in a gym, use it, meaning lift actual weights, instead of spending most of the time on feminin cardio machines. There is a TON of solid youtube channels that can point you in the right direction on how to grow a decent body. Go inform yourself and do the work!

In general, start developing masculinity and self-confidence, you seem to lack it a lot. There is no easy solution to your problem like change glasses-shave-done, you will need to work hard on yourself physicaly and mentaly.

Make no mistake, it might take you years to become a man amongst the top 20% (which will give you a solid chance on 80% of women).

You also need to get rid of this "im a virgin"-mindset, it seems to drag you down a lot. If it helps you mentaly to not be a virgin anymore, pay a hooker once and be done with it. Seriously! You dont need to keep your virginity for your one true love.

Also, get your finances in order. Living with another dude is a nogo, no woman is going to take you serious if you dont have your own place. Again, DO THE WORK, get a better job or work your way up to a better income. There is no way around this!

So, start NOW ......

* Start taking your gym time serious. Build up your body to a point where women start complimenting you on it.
* Get a decent income and your own place to live.
* Become socially adapt with women and learn "game" (again, tons of info on this forum to read!) DO THE WORK!


If all of this takes years, so be it. You will still have the other half of your life to enjoy what you work for.

Embrace the suck man!

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

As for posting a better picture of myself, yeah... I'm still gonna look like garbage no matter what due to my exhausting life. So I'm sure those "sad puppy eyes" or whatever the comparison was is still gonna be there.

You want to look more masculine or not? I'm not catering to your feels, bro. You're getting solid advice but it seems like you're making excuses resisting change.

And you have to see problems as challenges.

Women are attracted to masculinity. If you look like a worried puppy it's not going to convince a woman that you're masculine / strong. Stand for the mirror and look at yourself. Would you like to date yourself? No? Then turn yourself into the man women crave.

You have a sh!tty job and ambitions towards more profitable independent work, but you've put some things on hold because it's important that you take care of your ailing parents < that can attract women: you're the caring / nurturing / honourable son. And while you do the honourable thing taking care of your parents, you're saving money and educating yourself to get more affluence.

I'm also not understanding the "smart glasses" thing, because a lot of people seem to have differing definitions on that.

That's why I said to go to a good optician (not a chain like Pearle or Spexsavers) and try some good frames from brands like Tom Ford or Oliver Peoples. The type of glasses that a successful businessman might wear. Something that makes you look 'smart' instead of 'dopey'.

And please quit whining about getting negative feedback on your appearance. You're 35, you should be able to handle criticism, especially from people who will give you their unvarnished opinion. If you want compliments, work for it.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Go to the Philippines

Problem solved.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

At 35 you still have time. But that time won’t last forever. Act!

 

[Gamisch]

Go to the Philippines

Problem solved.

2001 called and told me you are 20 years late to tge party..

Seriously , places like these are flooded with pathetic losers from the west. By now those women, especially between ages 20 and 40 have a certified blueprint how to milk a western loser to the bone.

With all due respect ,but men like these are at the absolute bottom of the hierarchy. Nr 99 out of 100. If you wanna be successful in tbe Philippines you better be at very least within the 50% range.

If such an adventure goes wrong ..such a man might seriously lash out by either self harm or indeed the harm of others.

 

[Nitrozv20]

This is me
View attachment 11333

I posted that picture to show whether I was inherently ugly. As in... if I was "beyond repair" or not. An insult I had to endure a lot throughout my life. My hair is not purple, that is just a bluish light near me.


No one is angry. I actually made an appointment minutes ago, so I can get contacts and better glasses. I have a gym that's part of my apartment complex that I started at. Once thing that's confusing me as that some ladies like facial hair, some don't. Is it best if I'm giving the beard a close trim or taking it off completely?

Get your nutrition on point, get to the gym, get a good haircut, clean up your beard. Get some freaking sun and movement in your life.

 

[Anom]

And please quit whining about getting negative feedback on your appearance. You're 35, you should be able to handle criticism, especially from people who will give you their unvarnished opinion. If you want compliments, work for it.

No one's whining, I already explained this part. I've heard infinitely worse. As for the "drop the virgin attitude", I'm way ahead of you by a thousand miles. That's not something you ever want to advertise anyway, because what good would it bring?

I'm honestly surprised that I supposedly had the facial structure to make NOT having facial work, that was the basis for most of my earlier replies. Just today I had someone tell me to keep the facial hair I had in the picture I showed, but just fade it in more. Do I cut my hair short altogether? Or do I cut it so that it's "medium-long" or just medium? I see a lot of people working the medium-long thing, but I don't know if I have the face to pull it off.

As for the "puppy eyes" thing. Are we talking about how I look in general? Or the facial expression I was making.

 

[Gamisch]

No one's whining, I already explained this part. I've heard infinitely worse. As for the "drop the virgin attitude", I'm way ahead of you by a thousand miles. That's not something you ever want to advertise anyway, because what good would it bring?

I'm honestly surprised that I supposedly had the facial structure to make NOT having facial work, that was the basis for most of my earlier replies. Just today I had someone tell me to keep the facial hair I had in the picture I showed, but just fade it in more. Do I cut my hair short altogether? Or do I cut it so that it's "medium-long" or just medium? I see a lot of people working the medium-long thing, but I don't know if I have the face to pull it off.

As for the "puppy eyes" thing. Are we talking about how I look in general? Or the facial expression I was making.

-Get a job(or 2)
- find a hooker on Craigslist or whatever y'all use in the USA. I bet there's a way to find one.
- get a steady one,like every month or so. Tell her you are a virgin.
- let her provide you with the gf experience. -Ask her to kiss you ect. Take her out..treat her like she's HUMAN and ask her to do rhe same to you
- forget about relationships, dating ect. Focus on other shyte. Do whatever you like. You missed too much by now. Its pointless to play catch up now.
-take the easy route bro...

 

[Anom]

-Get a job(or 2)
- find a hooker on Craigslist or whatever y'all use in the USA. I bet there's a way to find one.
- get a steady one,like every month or so. Tell her you are a virgin.
- let her provide you with the gf experience. -Ask her to kiss you ect. Take her out..treat her like she's HUMAN and ask her to do rhe same to you
- forget about relationships, dating ect. Focus on other shyte. Do whatever you like. You missed too much by now. Its pointless to play catch up now.
-take the easy route bro...

no

 

[Gamisch]

no

As in? What do you rather do? You think at this age with zero experience and such a hostile environment and era for dating the focus on women you don't get will bring you joy and happines?

No to WHAT bro??? Please enlighten me

 

[Anom]

No to your terrible ass idea. Isn't the point of this forum to be a man and do the work, and NOT take the easy way out?