The woman should come out and tell us when they want sex

[AmsterdamAssassin]

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Also, there is a website for partners of people in the spectrum, called autipartner.
My mother-in-law was neurotypical, but her scientist husband seemed extremely introverted. When he retired and sat home all day, she got fed up by his behaviour and struggled with her marriage when she discovered that her husband has Asperger's and through autipartner she found people struggling with the same thing.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I recently matched a relatively hot asian gal - awesome shape - like athlete level. Her trad OLD profile said outright she was an Aspie and warned people about the rawness of her personality. We matched, frankly it was a pleasure to talk to an attractive WYSIWYG chick - everything was out there on the table - not one iota of subterfuge. She was matter of fact about intimacy too and frankly it was an all-around excellent experience for me, aspies can purr like kittens too. I'd have to work on her a lot to be an LTR option, could be possible - but will require a lot of work. That body though...

Need to check in on her, I expect it to be no nonsense - "you down?" "yes" "Tuesday 6pm?" "yes". BAM

 

[corrector]

I recently matched a relatively hot asian gal - awesome shape - like athlete level. Her trad OLD profile said outright she was an Aspie and warned people about the rawness of her personality. We matched, frankly it was a pleasure to talk to an attractive WYSIWYG chick - everything was out there on the table - not one iota of subterfuge. She was matter of fact about intimacy too and frankly it was an all-around excellent experience for me, aspies can purr like kittens too. I'd have to work on her a lot to be an LTR option, could be possible - but will require a lot of work. That body though...

Need to check in on her, I expect it to be no nonsense - "you down?" "yes" "Tuesday 6pm?" "yes". BAM

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Her trad OLD profile said outright she was an Aspie and warned people about the rawness of her personality. We matched, frankly it was a pleasure to talk to an attractive WYSIWYG chick - everything was out there on the table - not one iota of subterfuge. She was matter of fact about intimacy too and frankly it was an all-around excellent experience for me, aspies can purr like kittens too

My ex-wife is undiagnosed, but both her father and her brothers, and our teenage son are in the spectrum. It's part of why I liked her - very no nonsense. We worked well together too, whether it was motorcycle camping. She was a Christian virgin when I met her, but had a high libido and our first years were a strict D/s relationship until we had children.
Her matter-of-fact attitude towards intimacy and sexuality was refreshing and lasted for the sixteen years we were together.

 

[corrector]

To address the Elephant in the Room, women have a way easier time to get away with having spectrum/social issues. All the recent posts have done is to show that they have scored with high value guys but does nothing in the way of encouraging the OP because it's a lady's market not a guy's market, especially if its a hot lady. You really want to compare what a hot lady can get away with compared to a normie type of guy? Also women don't tend to go with their looksmatches. A fat woman may not want a fat guy but would aim for a slim healthy guy. A spectrum woman may not want another normie-spectrum guy but will go with an extrovert Chad like everyone else who is vying for the top 1%. This does nothing for the OP because unless he's an in-demand type of guy, his spectrum will be a handicap and he's better off escortcelling/MGTOWing escorts.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Ah darn, more 'proof' that the world is not fair.
What to do? What to do?
Maybe just eradicate simplistic concepts like 'Fairness'?
Or just understand that Fairness is an Ideal, therefore striving for fairness is noble, but (like all noble pursuits) the goal is never attained.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

unless he's an in-demand type of guy, his spectrum will be a handicap and he's better off escortcelling/MGTOWing escorts.

Is that your 'expert opinion'?

Someone who is in the spectrum is better off buying women than courting women, because no woman will be interested in him?

Thanks for your input.

 

[corrector]

Is that your 'expert opinion'?

Someone who is in the spectrum is better off buying women than courting women, because no woman will be interested in him?

Thanks for your input.

He said women are interested in him and I've said before he's more MGTOWing escorts than escortcelling. If he's MGTOW then he has arrived at a cost-benefit analysis and has determined that it makes more sense to visit escorts than to "court' women. He does not want to "court" women, he just wants to sleep with them.

In fact, he DMed me and shared a conquest where he was upfront with a lady in an elevator and then slept with her and hinted at it here on this thread. There is no question on my mind that he's able to get women who are interested in him.

I guess what I'm driving at is it's not realistic in this day and age to assume any type of woman is some sort of "safe base" if you have a particular issue. You may not get with the type of woman you think, but maybe a better or different one. If OP wants a "safe base", then yeah, escorts are like a "safe base" because you know it's guaranteed. If he grows out of just wanting "safe bases" and guaranteed sex, then it's better he courts women than deal with escorts. Of course nothing will be guaranteed, but just because its not guaranteed doesn't mean it will never happen eventually.

 

[BeExcellent]

Honestly there’s some good tips and advice in this thread. My husband is diagnosed ADHD and frankly I and a number of people close to him, including his close friend & ex who is a therapist (and qualified to diagnose) believe he’s on the spectrum. He misses social cues with frequency in various settings and at times I end up explaining what this or that meant. He is often misunderstood.

Because he’s very attractive and has a rocker look he has never had trouble finding interested women, never had issues getting laid (very Mode 1 guy when younger) and was in a fraternity at university. He’s always been extremely intelligent and an accomplished athlete. Puts up with zero BS. He’s had some LTRs along the way, but the relationships broke down on communication issues and neediness/insecurity from the chick. I know all this going in. He comes off to others as aloof and arrogant, and he ignores people who say something to him if he doesn’t want to talk to them. Of course that comes off rude and I’ve pointed that out to him. The first night I met him I realized he’s more awkward than arrogant although he’s perfectly capable of being as ass hole. He doesn’t care about getting evaluated either, and that’s fine.

So I live with it every day. Fortunately I am extremely direct as women go and matter of fact and self sufficient. I accept who he is and this requires tremendous patience at times. So there is nothing stopping people on the spectrum having successful interactions with the opposite sex. Remember. Relationships happen between individuals. He can code for 12 hours straight with hyper focus and I am happy to leave him be. Other times I require some attention from him (and he often wants attention from me.).

I can’t handle needy clingy men. I am naturally aloof and so is my husband. It works for us. And we laugh & cut up and make stupid nerdy inside jokes and love each other. So yeah. A great relationship is in fact possible.

 

[GoodMan32]

Here is a puzzle: Is the Riddler from the Gotham TV show 8.5?

Are you saying you think I look like the Riddler?

 

[GoodMan32]

I sent you a DM.

If you go about things with Option 2 and explain it as you stated in your first paragraph above, that will go a long way in getting a woman to understand you better & give her the cue to show you what’s up. And if you get asked directly about whether you are on the spectrum? Say “Pretty much” and chuckle or smile & put your hands up in this gesture:

View attachment 11018

That will make you more accessible to women. Won’t guarantee a lay but it gives you a direction to go in and a strategy to try.

Thanks for the encouragement. I think I might the spectrum question as "Maybe. I've never been tested."

 

[corrector]

Are you saying you think I look like the Riddler?

On the Gotham Tv show, not the latest Batman movie, about 80% so.

 

[GoodMan32]

He said women are interested in him and I've said before he's more MGTOWing escorts than escortcelling. If he's MGTOW then he has arrived at a cost-benefit analysis and has determined that it makes more sense to visit escorts than to "court' women. He does not want to "court" women, he just wants to sleep with them.

In fact, he DMed me and shared a conquest where he was upfront with a lady in an elevator and then slept with her and hinted at it here on this thread. There is no question on my mind that he's able to get women who are interested in him.

I guess what I'm driving at is it's not realistic in this day and age to assume any type of woman is some sort of "safe base" if you have a particular issue. You may not get with the type of woman you think, but maybe a better or different one. If OP wants a "safe base", then yeah, escorts are like a "safe base" because you know it's guaranteed. If he grows out of just wanting "safe bases" and guaranteed sex, then it's better he courts women than deal with escorts. Of course nothing will be guaranteed, but just because its not guaranteed doesn't mean it will never happen eventually.

Women have showed interest in me before, yeah. Not nearly as often as they'd show interest in a guy with my looks who isn't on the spectrum, however.

As for the DM story you allude to, I know which story you're talking about (and for privacy reasons, I'm glad you're respectful enough to leave the potentially-identifying details out). One thing I should mention for anyone reading, however: It's not as simple as "Met her in an elevator. Propositioned her. Banged her."

This was a woman I ran into on a regular basis (and flirted with her off and on during a 2 year window before she finally banged me)

 

[corrector]

Women have showed interest in me before, yeah. Not nearly as often as they'd show interest in a guy with my looks who isn't on the spectrum, however.

As for the DM story you allude to, I know which story you're talking about (and for privacy reasons, I'm glad you're respectful enough to leave the potentially-identifying details out). One thing I should mention for anyone reading, however: It's not as simple as "Met her in an elevator. Propositioned her. Banged her."

This was a woman I ran into on a regular basis (and flirted with her off and on during a 2 year window before she finally banged me)

Fair enough. Some story details were intentionally fictionalized to protect privacy but you disclosed the truth here.

 

[GoodMan32]

Fair enough. Some story details were intentionally fictionalized to protect privacy but you disclosed the truth here.

Yeah. I'm fine with the public knowing I flirted with her over a 2 year window before finally getting a romp. The rest of the details, I prefer to keep private (so again, I appreciate you)

 

[GoodMan32]

That's good feedback. If Riddler is rated a 7.5 or 8 from @BeExcellent, but the baby face would make him off-putting, and @Hamurabimbi would rate him a 6, then I guess the average of both rounds it to about a solid 7, or more or less the same scale as @SW15 such as a mid/upper-tier normie depending on the vibe and how he is presenting himself. That is not a chad-lite and being on a spectrum would hurt Riddler's chances, if Riddler was hypothetically on the spectrum. Someone like Riddler would need some game to seal the deal.

So if I understand correctly (now that I know you think I resemble the Riddler), the general consensus we've come to is: While ratings vary (one party might think a guy is hot; another party might think he's so-so), a more realistic median for me is 7 (not the 8.5 I was told when I was 20)?

 

[corrector]

So if I understand correctly (now that I know you think I resemble the Riddler), the general consensus we've come to is: While ratings vary (one party might think a guy is hot; another party might think he's so-so), a more realistic median for me is 7 (not the 8.5 I was told when I was 20)?

Exactly. That explains why your "social issues" could be hurting your chances with civvies. If you were really an 8.5 then these issues would be forgiven and overlooked and women would be more assertive/aggressive towards you, especially if they are below a 6 (which it doesn't sound like you would mind anyway given your choices with escorts). Therefore, the feedback you had in 2012, while sincere, could have been an outlier. To get more accurate photo results, I normally recommend photofeeler and pay the nominal fee where you'll get a substantial number of votes (ie including the outliers) and get a more honest assessment of your looks rating. I would predict you should get at least a 7 on there, but I would encourage for you to try it out.

 

[GoodMan32]

Exactly. That explains why your "social issues" could be hurting your chances with civvies. If you were really an 8.5 then these issues would be forgiven and overlooked and women would be more assertive/aggressive towards you, especially if they are below a 6 (which it doesn't sound like you would mind anyway given your choices with escorts). Therefore, the feedback you had in 2012, while sincere, could have been an outlier. To get more accurate photo results, I normally recommend photofeeler and pay the nominal fee where you'll get a substantial number of votes (ie including the outliers) and get a more honest assessment of your looks rating. I would predict you should get at least a 7 on there, but I would encourage for you to try it out.

Yeah, the 8 and a half I got when I was 20 could have been an outlier. Could have been because I hadn't shown as many of the aging signs I currently show. Or a number of possibilities.

One thing I should point out: Even when I was 20, I only got laid through the help of the internet (all my lays at 20 were civvies, however). This makes me doubt whether I was really an 8 and a half when I was 20.

The only 2 civvie lays I got without the help of the internet happened when I was 23/24 (right around the time of my birthday; I forget if I had officially turned 24 yet) and then when I was 29.

I like your idea to try an internet ranking service (even if I have to pay a slight fee)

 

[GoodMan32]

Exactly. That explains why your "social issues" could be hurting your chances with civvies. If you were really an 8.5 then these issues would be forgiven and overlooked and women would be more assertive/aggressive towards you, especially if they are below a 6 (which it doesn't sound like you would mind anyway given your choices with escorts). Therefore, the feedback you had in 2012, while sincere, could have been an outlier. To get more accurate photo results, I normally recommend photofeeler and pay the nominal fee where you'll get a substantial number of votes (ie including the outliers) and get a more honest assessment of your looks rating. I would predict you should get at least a 7 on there, but I would encourage for you to try it out.

One more thing I should mention: It wouldn't bother me one bit if they were below a 6.

 

[dude99]

It would make a lot more sense (for both parties) if the woman would come out and tell us when they want sex. I can explain.

A lot of guys are reluctant to propose sex too soon (as we don't want to potentially scare her away). We're forced to read her clues of whether she wants sex.

Here's the problem, however: Guys aren't mind readers. I have no doubt there have been many cases where a woman wants sex from a guy, but ends up not getting sex from him (because he isn't 100% sure whether he should propose sex).

The solution? The woman should propose sex. Hardly any men will say no. The woman ends up getting the romp she wants. The guy isn't forced to rely on reading clues. Win-win for both parties.

You're trying to get women to use logic when they arent wired that way. This will not work.

Your looking at it from the wrong direction.

You need to Take the lead. Women know you will want sex. That is a given. You the lead. They follow. You pursue sex when YOU want sex. Not if/when/maybe she might hope she let's me know...... NO.

You take the lead pursue sex, if she is Interested in you, you will have sex. If her Interest level is low you will not. Her reaction to you taking the lead will yell you EVERYTHING you need to know.

Waiting for her to tell you and have her take the lead will get you friend zoned as she will stop seeing you ad a date able option.