Solutions for 7 year LTR with 2 kids on the rocks - she doesn't know how she feels about me

[Giraffe123]

I'm sure you will all be thrilled to hear I was wrong, found messages on her phone if her planning to cheat. She initiated. Said she doesn't love me anymore. Was my hands and move on.

She didn't think that she would be able to come back from where she was feeling.

On a separate note, guessing you can delete **** from this site? I don't want this as a reminder to go back to

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I'm sure you will all be thrilled to hear I was wrong, found messages on her phone if her planning to cheat. She initiated. Said she doesn't love me anymore. Was my hands and move on.

On a separate note, guessing you can delete **** from this site? I don't want this as a reminder to go back to

Not thrilled at all, everyone here has likely been cheated on, time to get on your purpose and self develop.

 

[Giraffe123]

Not thrilled at all, everyone here has likely been cheated on, time to get on your purpose and self develop.

What are the next steps here?

What can I do for the kids and myself?

 

[SW15]

all of this essentially relies on her coming to her senses

I guess my questions are:

• Has anyone been here before? What worked, what didn't?
• What can I do to get the power back?
• When is it time to just call it quits?

She feels the relationship has run its course more than likely and all that other stuff is her trying to figure out a way to slowly pull away from you.

This relationship is likely ending whether it's today or a year from now if you try and hold onto it.

Sorry to have bad news but any time a woman comes to you with that it's pretty much the beginning of the end.

What are the next steps here?

What can I do for the kids and myself?

I have not been married and am childless.

I think now is the time to call it quits. Find a lawyer as soon as possible and work out the legalities around your co-parenting relationship. Perhaps you can have an amicable co-parenting relationship in the future.

The relationship is not salvageable at this point.

 

[Gamisch]

I'm sure you will all be thrilled to hear I was wrong, found messages on her phone if her planning to cheat. She initiated. Said she doesn't love me anymore. Was my hands and move on.

She didn't think that she would be able to come back from where she was feeling.

On a separate note, guessing you can delete **** from this site? I don't want this as a reminder to go back to

Thats really unfortunate to hear bro.

As shameful as it feels, we've ALL ended up here due to something like this. Yiu are and stay anonymous, dont worry about it. Threads like this are great for learning and confirming what we already know.

I tend to get into beefs and internet scuffles at times but THIS is why I prefer the harsh truth , even if its "yet only theory " over sugar coating shyte.

I geuss everyone saw this one coming. When I saw you replied to this thread I KNEW something was up, can't explain it.

I've asked you before: do you have people close to you where you can stay? If so MOVE NOW!

One general thought for lurkers and learners; whenever a woman goes from "loving" you to ANYTHING else, assume there's someone else in the picture. Always. I've literally heard em all now: attraction to unsure to a break or space to spreading my wings to just a friend.

REDPILL THE F UP NOW fELLAS!!!!

 

[AttackFormation]

I'm sure you will all be thrilled to hear I was wrong, found messages on her phone if her planning to cheat. She initiated. Said she doesn't love me anymore. Was my hands and move on.

She didn't think that she would be able to come back from where she was feeling.

On a separate note, guessing you can delete **** from this site? I don't want this as a reminder to go back to

Any veteran of this forum will be unphased by this revelation, and we dont cheer for the destruction of a family. Her reluctant intimacy and selfish sentiments matches exactly how guys here tend to describe unfaithful womens' behavior, and is why many of us suggested that as likely. I wouldve done so too if you didnt say you were adamant that she was faithful, but in hindsight that was an indulgent mistake.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

@Giraffe123 I'm deeply saddened by this news. I can guarantee you none of us are thrilled. To a man, we are all here having been crushed by women at some point. You are here with brothers; we are here to support you. I know it does not seem this way at the moment, but this too shall pass.

I wish you peace.

I'm sure you will all be thrilled to hear I was wrong, found messages on her phone if her planning to cheat. She initiated. Said she doesn't love me anymore. Was my hands and move on.

She didn't think that she would be able to come back from where she was feeling.

On a separate note, guessing you can delete **** from this site? I don't want this as a reminder to go back to

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

What are the next steps here?

What can I do for the kids and myself?

Be totally pessimistic about the situation, expect and prepare for the worst outcome possible to manifest. If it doesn't, great, if it does, your ready.

Somebody said you should focus on yourself first, then your kids, I don't have the patience to look through the thread but I think that's accurate, you can't look after your kids if your a mess.

Its been 7 years, hopefully you have some of your support system intact from when you were single, see how much you can lean on that.

Luckily for you, there is no marriage to deal with or you would be getting fuuuuucked. Right now, your liabilities are minimal, try to keep it that way.

I will tell you, if you want her to respect you as a man, you will leave as immediately as you can, but if your searching for respect as a father, understand that comes from being able to provide; don't focus on providing, focus on improving and imprinting your ability to provide onto your children, they are young so you still have plenty of time to prepare. You cannot save your kids, they can only save themselves.

First thing I would do is focus on finding cheap child care, but I'm sure other men here who have been married have better advice than me, just wait for them to post.

 

[BeExcellent]

What are the next steps here?

What can I do for the kids and myself?

Well that’s horrid news. Sorry to hear. Nobody is happy about this. What jurisdiction are you in?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'm sure you will all be thrilled to hear I was wrong.

I understand that you're angry, but with a few exceptions, most posters here were likely rooting for you to be able to lead your relationship back to a future together.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What are the next steps here?

Fight for co-custody, especially if she expects child support.

What can I do for the kids and myself?

Despite your possible antipathy towards her, do not badmouth their mother to the kids. You will be remembered as spiteful and mean, because children do not understand how betrayed you must feel. When children grow up, they will choose the side of the parent who didn't gripe about the other parent.

And study fudoshin so you can detach yourself emotionally from the situation and make impartial decisions.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I understand that you're angry, but with a few exceptions, most posters here were likely rooting for you to be able to lead your relationship back to a future together.

Most of us here have been through basically the same situation; the relationship is dead and a lot of posters saw that a mile away. Time to move on. Get a lawyer. Don't fight too hard (the lawyers will want to pit you against your ex-partner for the $$$$$; don't fall for it). Don't antagonize her. Get 50/50 custody. Your ex-partner is not a bad person, she's just the typical emotional female that lives in a society that doesn't respect marriage or loyalty, etc.. etc.. Yes, I know you guys weren't married, but you guys were really close.

Don't be a dicck to her. She is still the mother of your kids. Good news is that you don't have to pay alimony. Child support is child support, so that's something that in theory will help your kids which is a good thing. Another thing is that you will have more free time since you hopefully will have only 50% parenting time. Time to bring back the chad within you - the take no prisoners, extremely competent awesome person that you were before you met her; before this whole thing started to blow up.

Good luck