Struggling To Get Over My Break Up!

soulforge

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This is a long one, but I will keep it as short as possible.

She is age 24 Russian/Luthuainin chick. Looks wise she is 6.5 however body wise she is a solid 8.5 (Stunning body) I am age 47, but look younger, big age difference.

9 months relationship with her, she wanted to have kids with me.

You have probably seen some of my posts regarding my ex Russian Girlfriend.

To be honest, after 5 weeks of NC I am still thinking about her quite abit.

What makes this breakup difficult is, it was alot of good, mixed in with alot of really bad.

Was hoping you could take a look at the pros and cons and let me know how to proceed forward.

By the way it was me who ended the LTR, as she was being combative (once again) at my house and I told her to leave after we exchanged some angry words, which where hurtful to both of us.

This is the good.

01.She can be very sweet and loving at times & extremely effectionate with kisses and cuddles etc.

02. She would cook for me time to time and help clean up around my apartment.

03. Her body was beautiful and sex was great (very compatible sexualy)

04. Would text me every morning with a good morning text.

The Bad (Or the red flags)

01. She has an agressive/combative streak and once annoyed becomes argumentative and challenging. This doesn't happen constantly, but at least once every two weeks, she would become combative.

She was kinda combative from day one when I met her, it's not like something that developed later. She has this masculine energy about her sometimes. I always checked her on her bratty attitude, but after a while it becomes tiresome. She can be feminine too, but her masculine side makes an ugly appearance just too often.

On one occasion she told me to "Shut The Fack Up" I walked away from her and she came pleading wanting another chance.

02. She is addicted to social media, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Tik Tok, she is even in some group chats. She doesn't really post sexy/nude/bikini pictures, however she does post selfies posing etc in order to get attention & validation.

03. She had lots of male friends.. More male friends than actually girls, this is what she told me herself. Once she got into an LTR with me, she cut out the males, because I told her it's not acceptable. (I am sure she still kept a few around though)

04. She has had depression for quite a good few years. Had been on anti depressants on/off. I am pretty sure it's effected her personality and there is some past trauma.

05. Her father passed away when she was young due to alcoholicism, so there is likely some daddy issues. She is now raised by a single mother.

06. Alcohol is a massive factor in her life, all her family even most freinds are big drinkers. They are Luthuainin & Russian and drinking is the norm for them on a regular basis.

07. Ex party girl. Well she did quite alot of clubs/bars before she met me. Once she got into an LTR with me she quit all that, however party girls can slide back into that lifestyle quite easily if there freinds are doing it especially when there IL is lower.

08. She has a couple of friends that are h0es. She admitted they have a h0e past, and for a while she didn't hang around with them, but recently began seeing them again. However these girls have boyfriends now.

09. She doesn't know how to apologize. She will cause a drama, at best she will come over and give me a kiss, but she will be never apologize or accept she did anything wrong.

10. At the age of 24, her body count is 20 or possibly more.

With all of the above BS, my biggest issue is her combative attitude. Masculine Energy.

I tolerated it for a while, but decided enough is enough and I walked away. She had maybe 4 strikes, including Disrespect.

Around 5 weeks ago, she was at my house and a little disagreement turned into her becoming agressive and argumentative, this was the last straw for me, so I told her to leave my house.

She packed her Chit and left. It's been solid 5 weeks NC since then.

It's mixed emotions now. Sometimes I think I overreacted and shouldn't have told her to leave, however she had maybe 3-4 chances already to fix up, so in many ways she deserved getting the boot.

Sometimes I would have to check her, and she would snap back with some stupid argument which would lead to the situation getting heated.

I'm pretty sure she will contact me again at some point. Right now I am not ready to take her back even as FWB

It boils down to this, it's was me who isnstigated the breakup.

Should I continue with no contact? Heart is missing her.. However my brain (logic) tells me that I Dodge a bullet and need to move the F on!
 

soulforge

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20 bodies at age 24 and you want to LTR her? Yikes.

It sounds like the cure to her combativeness was in your willingness to walk away - which is the only power a man has in any romantic relationship anyhow.
IF you were to continue this relationship with her, you need to develop your frame better and make it clear that she is not the one in control of the relationship. You don't cater to her, she caters to you. If she cannot accept those terms, then the choice is made.

Any woman can become feminine for the right man, but sometimes that 'right man' is an impossible standard.
Bro I gave her maybe 2-3 chances to fix up. made it very clear that it's my way, or the highway.. She didn't fix up, so I told her to leave. And I never contacted her again.
 

CornbreadFed

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5 weeks of NC is not a lot. In reality, it’s more like 6 months to start getting your senses back. You need to find something to do outside women for the next month or two. What is your career? What are your hobbies? My euro ex was toxic, milky skinned, and had that frizzy hair I like, it’s hard bro lol. She was also tall with blue eyes so our kids would’ve been gorgeous.
 

soulforge

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thanks for sharing. sad to see such a damaged girl at that age.

Bro I feel that. I tried a little bit to guide her to the right path.

But those eternal words.. You can't turn a hoe into a house wife.
 

soulforge

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5 weeks of NC is not a lot. In reality, it’s more like 6 months to start getting your senses back. You need to find something to do outside women for the next month or two. What is your career? What are your hobbies?
My hobbies is lifting weights and getting fit as fuk.. nothing throws me off that path. Even in a relationship I hit the gym hard.

Making money and focusing on my career. I never fall off that path for a chick.

Maybe I just invested in a damaged crazy one!
 

soulforge

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5 weeks of NC is not a lot. In reality, it’s more like 6 months to start getting your senses back. You need to find something to do outside women for the next month or two. What is your career? What are your hobbies? My euro ex was toxic, milky skinned, and had that frizzy hair I like, it’s hard bro lol. She was also tall with blue eyes so our kids would’ve been gorgeous.
It's hard my man. We have this future vision of family with her.. but Reality is this.. they have a treturuse nature. You can't get attached with the
They won't change because you said words. They will change because of your actions.

You said it yourself:


I'm not saying you should give her another chance. I'm saying that if you do, YOU need to invoke the change in her. They aren't requirements you put on her, they are requirements you put on yourself - and if she doesn't act accordingly, then she's out.

OR you just find a new girl so you don't have to undo 24 years of masculine training in this woman. My approach is the approach one would take if married and wanting to avoid divorce r8pe.

This is why I nexted her.. beautiful as she is... The bigger picture is, she gets pregnant and I'm stuck with her for 18 years or its divorce rape... I pulled the trigger and chose to be single again. Even though it hurts me alot.
 

soulforge

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Then you know your answer, my dude.

I guess I am unsure about my decision on pulling the trigger on her.. I suppose I want your opinion on the red flags.

Putting my love for her and emotions aside.. my logic tells me that those red flags spell disaster!
 

Luni

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I guess I am unsure about my decision on pulling the trigger on her.. I suppose I want your opinion on the red flags.

Putting my love for her and emotions aside.. my logic tells me that those red flags spell disaster!
I concur with your decision. honestly surprised and impressed with the preventative action. well done
 

soulforge

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I concur with your decision. honestly surprised and impressed with the preventative action. well done
Even though I deeply loved her.. I sensed the danger ahead.. God gave us this gut instinct for a reason.

Beautiful stunning as she was.. I am not willing to sacrifice my masculinty, self worth and dignity for some hot azz.
 

johnrambo

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Should I continue with no contact? Heart is missing her.. However my brain (logic) tells me that I Dodge a bullet and need to move the F on!
Continue with NC! Don't plead or beg! Even if she comes back, she'll have you wrapped by her little fingers. Make her beg!
 

soulforge

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Continue with NC! Don't plead or beg! Even if she comes back, she'll have you wrapped by her little fingers. Make her beg!
I hear you brother. Won't lie I am hurting right now. Thoughts of her getting smashed by other men, is causing me pain.

But I won't cave in... Even if she comes back begging, I absolutely will not entertain her, once she had taken diks elsewhere!
 

Divorced w 3

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5 weeks of NC is not a lot. In reality, it’s more like 6 months to start getting your senses back. You need to find something to do outside women for the next month or two. What is your career? What are your hobbies? My euro ex was toxic, milky skinned, and had that frizzy hair I like, it’s hard bro lol. She was also tall with blue eyes so our kids would’ve been gorgeous.
My kids are gorgeous and I literally just inked a deal on what some have called the worst divorce they ever have seen. She’s on multiple psychiatric medications
 

Luni

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My kids are gorgeous and I literally just inked a deal on what some have called the worst divorce they ever have seen. She’s on multiple psychiatric medications
care to elaborate on this divorce?
 

Bokanovsky

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It sounds like the only real positives she’s got going for her are her age and hot body…although I’m a bit alarmed by your description of her as 8.5 body-wise but only 6.5 overall. Application of the mathematical principle of averages would suggest that her face has to be 4.5 to bring down the overall rating by two points. That’s real butterface territory but I digress…

Now compare that to the long list of very alarming red flags that you’ve described. What you did should have been a no brainer. I don’t know if this makes you feel any better but I walked away from my ex about a year ago because of her (at times) explosive temper and disrespectful attitude. And she was a solid 8.5 overall and didn’t have nearly as many red flags as your girl, so objectively speaking, it would have been a much more difficult decision. Still, you can’t be with someone who permits herself to act this way. A man who tolerates disrespect from a woman is disrespecting himself.
 
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