63% of young American men are single while most women in the same age group are in relationships

[Stanley]

This section of the thread really stood out to me. As I am right now, I have a scarcity mindset that I'm trying to get rid of and that's why I'm having difficulty moving on from a woman that I met 6 years ago back in 2017. Since its been that long, I know that I need to call it quits and move on, but the problem is that I haven't met any women at all since her and I know that's what I need to be cured from this. I met her at a seasonal job and when I first met her, she was single and I tried texting her after the work season ended, but I failed miserably. I actually posted that text exchange here on SS from an old account that is no longer active and everyone who replied to that thread said that I messed up bad and that I probably killed all the interest she had in me, so I listened and never tried to text her again. She then got into a relationship with someone who was very abusive towards her, both physically and emotionally. When she was with him, I think she was willing to monkeybranch to me, but I missed her signals that she was giving me due to my inexperience and that's the same reason why I failed when texting her. She's since broken up with him and is dating a new guy who she's now living with (she lived with the abusive guy too), but she's aware that I'm interested in her and she still acts receptive towards me even while being with this new guy who she claims to be very happy with as he does everything for her including all the cooking and housekeeping and even her laundry. I ended up meeting her new bf and he was very unfriendly towards me and I was not unfriendly towards him in any way since I don't hold any ill will towards either one of them. I think he could tell that me and her have a rapport and he was not happy, I could totally see this guy freaking out and doing something drastic if she did monkeybranch over to me from him. Sometimes you just get that vibe from a person and they seem like the type of person to react in that way. Me and this girl are also opposites in several different ways in terms of things like our political views, the music and TV/movies we like, what we like do to for fun, etc. Its just that I hardly ever meet any women and I wish that I did because this girl would be an afterthought if that was the case.

You need to surround yourself with the opposite sex. (Roman thread and quit dwelling on the past)

It doesn't mean you need to date, flirt or sleep with them, but immerse yourself amongst them and expand your social circle. It isn't odd to still think back to your first experience even if it is limited. But know that your view on this matter is inherently limited since you've not really gone out and had experiences with women beyond that from what it sounds like?

You have yet to succeed and you haven't failed much. You need to be comfortable with failure to build confidence in yourself and roll with the punches. Recognize the mistakes, accept them, learn from them and let them the f***ing go. That is how you build abundance and self worth.

Don't blame experience on it, don't make that your crutch. Own that inexperience if you have to and just stop caring about it. I'm telling you man if a girl really likes you she will not care or it just becomes a blip on her radar and you get some 'experience'. It all starts upstairs

 

[needimprovement250]

Poon is the reason. Poon is important. I'm not the only one who thinks that. The importance of poon is fundamental to human psychology. Psychology students learn Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in the first week of intro level Psychology classes. Poon is a basic physiological need that is on the same level as food, shelter, water, urination, and defecation. If you cannot fulfill your physiological needs, you cannot focus on your higher level needs.

Without poon, men will have psychological problems.



Incels are men who want sex who are unable to get sex. That's going to cause psychological problems, according to Maslow's model. Incels are generally not mentally healthy.

MGTOWs are often incels. Most men are MGTOW's due to rejection from the dating market. Most single women don't care when MGTOW's stop actively trying to date. These now MGTOWs were invisible to women when they were on the market. MGTOW has zero impact on women.

Some MGTOWs manage to get laid by directly paying for sex. Men who get laid by paying for it are not incel because they are having sex.

There is a group of men who go MGTOW after a bad divorce. A lot of those men are 35-50 years old, and it's only temporary MGTOW. It's somewhere between 1-3 years of MGTOW before realizing that they need poon. That's when they start conventionally dating again.

I agree, I've long believed that a lack of sex and romance can damage a man's mental health. I feel like mine is ok for the most part, but I do feel like my lack of a love life has had some negative effects on my mental health. Most notably, it has made me prone to depression and I've had depression streaks that have lasted for over a week due to the lack of romance and sex, I usually deal with it by using weed and beer. I think there definitely is a correlation in the number of single and lonely men and the rise of mental health issues in the male population, and it does lead to some men to turn to violent acts like we've already seen from self admitted incels.

I also watched Better Bachelor's video that you shared earlier in the thread about this new data on single men and he made some very good points. One interesting thing that he pointed out is where he said that Millennials and Gen Z are saying that they're tired of the swipe apps and profile based OLD platforms. He was saying that a lot of them feel like the connections you make from OLD are too shallow and not built to last, and that they would rather meet someone the old fashioned way in person instead of online. Maybe this change in attitude towards OLD will lead to the creation of more in-person singles events and mixers.

 

[needimprovement250]

You need to surround yourself with the opposite sex. (Roman thread and quit dwelling on the past)

It doesn't mean you need to date, flirt or sleep with them, but immerse yourself amongst them and expand your social circle. It isn't odd to still think back to your first experience even if it is limited. But know that your view on this matter is inherently limited since you've not really gone out and had experiences with women beyond that from what it sounds like?

You have yet to succeed and you haven't failed much. You need to be comfortable with failure to build confidence in yourself and roll with the punches. Recognize the mistakes, accept them, learn from them and let them the f***ing go. That is how you build abundance and self worth.

Don't blame experience on it, don't make that your crutch. Own that inexperience if you have to and just stop caring about it. I'm telling you man if a girl really likes you she will not care or it just becomes a blip on her radar and you get some 'experience'. It all starts upstairs

I actually lost my virginity to one of her friends, this happened the year before I met the girl I just mentioned in that comment and I had no idea that they knew each other. I think that's also something that held me back because things didn't go past that first date and the following hookup with her, and I didn't want the same to happen with this girl since we still have to work together and it could make things awkward (I didn't work with the girl I lost my virginity to). I do agree that I need to get out there and socialize with more women, I just don't know where to look. The lack of opportunities has always been a major obstacle for me. I guess since I lost my virginity to that girl, I have 1 success and one moderate failure. I just need to meet more women so that I can start with this trial and error. The girl I mentioned in my last comment actually doesn't know that I'm inexperienced, so I didn't get rejected by her for that. I was just saying that I have such limited experience when it comes to texting women and reading their signals that I missed my chance because I didn't know what to do. And I actually told her friend who I lost my virginity to that I was a kissless virgin at 21 and that our date was the first time I've ever been on a date, I did this when we were in the backseat of my car out of pure nervousness, but this didn't deter her at all and we still hooked up. So I guess it won't always be a dealbreaker and more real life examples of that will probably help me see that.

 

[Plinco]

That statement from the Simpsons is very true. It definitely does make singledom more tolerable because most of us here know that it would be a whole lot worse if we had to be perpetually single without being able to see naked women at all and never get off.

Actually that's a part of the problem with porn. You are tolerating an intolerable situation. It is designed to pacify you and put you in a submissive mentally. If I could wave a magic wand and end all porn and video games, men might actually be on the streets demanding change.

 

[Stanley]

Actually that's a part of the problem with porn. You are tolerating an intolerable situation. It is designed to pacify you and put you in a submissive mentally. If I could wave a magic wand and end all porn and video games, men might actually be on the streets demanding change.

Yes! You get it. We all have our vices, but certain vices seek to keep men weak and sedated. Porn being one of them.

 

[SW15]

Better Bachelor said that Millennials and Gen Z are saying that they're tired of the swipe apps and profile based OLD platforms. He was saying that a lot of them feel like the connections you make from OLD are too shallow and not built to last, and that they would rather meet someone the old fashioned way in person instead of online. Maybe this change in attitude towards OLD will lead to the creation of more in-person singles events and mixers.

There's a good thread on in-person singles events & mixers linked below. Those structured singles events are usually complete shiit.

Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?

Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by...

www.sosuave.net

If men are to arrange dates through in-person means, it would have to do through something less structured in the real world. That would mean approaching strangers in the following venues

• outdoor settings like parks or paths
• indoor retail settings like malls and grocery stores
• fitness classes (at the end of class) or on the general gym floor
• nightlife venues

It could also mean a return to social circle game. I've never had a social circle capable of arranging dates for me and I'm in my late 30s. Social circle is the best form of game for finding one girlfriend who is likely to be a longer lasting girlfriend than the girlfriend who you'd find through approaching strangers, app swiping, or sending DMs with far less grief and frustration.

The difficult part is building the social circle that can arrange these sorts of dates. I was never able to do that due to multiple relocation from childhood up until my late 20s. The guys who do social circle game best are the ones who spent their entire childhood in one place and then stayed in that same area as adults. So long as they were not social outcasts in K-12, they are able to take advantage of their deep local ties and a get a good hometown type girlfriend.

I've long believed that a lack of sex and romance can damage a man's mental health. I feel like mine is ok for the most part, but I do feel like my lack of a love life has had some negative effects on my mental health. Most notably, it has made me prone to depression and I've had depression streaks that have lasted for over a week due to the lack of romance and sex, I usually deal with it by using weed and beer. I think there definitely is a correlation in the number of single and lonely men and the rise of mental health issues in the male population, and it does lead to some men to turn to violent acts like we've already seen from self admitted incels.

Your biggest mental health problem from lack of sex has been a reliance on porn. Here's what happened. Women weren't paying attention to you. You had sexual needs. You indulged in porn. You indulged in more porn. That caused PIED. That affected your confidence and self-worth.

Porn is a sedation tied into depression and anxiety too. Porn also messes with your dopamine more than cocaine or heroin.

To me, weed and beer are less dangerous sedatives than porn. It's an overall better case when a man is neglected by a woman to be a non-porn using, non-fapping alcoholic than a big time porn user.

Incel status is also closely related to poverty. If a man is sliding into incel territory and has money, he stops being incel by paying directly for sex.

Eliot Rodger was PISSED that his BMW 328 was not getting him attention from women. His 328 was a solid car. Eliot Rodger also wasn't doing enough in-person approaches. Lifetime, he only did one approach, and it was an approach lasting less than 30 seconds. He expecting girls to come to him, which doesn't happen, even with a sweet BMW 328.

 

[kavi]

Poon is the reason. Poon is important. I'm not the only one who thinks that. The importance of poon is fundamental to human psychology. Psychology students learn Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in the first week of intro level Psychology classes. Poon is a basic physiological need that is on the same level as food, shelter, water, urination, and defecation. If you cannot fulfill your physiological needs, you cannot focus on your higher level needs.

Without poon, men will have psychological problems.

Incels are men who want sex who are unable to get sex. That's going to cause psychological problems, according to Maslow's model. Incels are generally not mentally healthy.

TBH I think this is cultural construct and not real at all. Poon is important to men in the current world as a relief from the stress of life caused by the social environment we live in.

Ofcourse not every guy in reality will get access to Poon. In some cases men have to go along time without any and then may get alot.

This is where understand of social and emotional processes come into play. Its valueable to understand that living in the current system is very stressful for everyone inc men, that then causes men to become more desperate for poon and other forms of (female) validation. I dont think anyone can ever get enough or be happy unless this is understood. It is like an Alcoholic thinking his addiction is natural and a part of life.

Pimps know psychology better than Maslow. Poon is no where on the heirarchy compared to food, shelter and water, not even close.

Poon is not like food, in Nature it doesnt work that way. Imagine before contraception, women, like most female animals, probably ****ed a few times a year until they got pregnant and they wait until after pregnancy for the next time.

For the men, Poon is nothing to be demanding or asking for, for Poon is mostly just about women getting pregnant. To want more for men is to be manipulated by the system and become weak. Patriarchy says men should NEED sex so they can manipulate men into working hard and being enslaved by the system.

 

[kavi]

I'm just saying that if men were in a less stressful and more calm world, we wouldnt need poon so much. Cortisol increases anxiety and also sexual arousal imo. Cortisol is a weird thing cos it is related to stress but also seems to cause energy, one form of that energy is sexual arousal.

Cortisol gives you energy and adrenal function, that can also cause someone to get more aroused and NEED sex more, as a release of stress. Sex can make a guy feel good and hence is a release from a world making him feel bad. In a different system, mens emotional and psychological state would be better and they wouldnt be as desperate or 'demanding' for it.

 

[corrector]

Your biggest mental health problem from lack of sex has been a reliance on porn. Here's what happened. Women weren't paying attention to you. You had sexual needs. You indulged in porn. You indulged in more porn. That caused PIED. That affected your confidence and self-worth.

It sounds like the mental health problem is caused by rejection from women in the first place.

Incel status is also closely related to poverty. If a man is sliding into incel territory and has money, he stops being incel by paying directly for sex.

Here is an excerpt from an incel wiki that describes escortcelling as something that high-tier incels do:

Escortcel

An escortcel is an incel who visits a sex worker as a coping strategy. Some incels have advocated for legalizing prostitution. The main reason why some societies...

incels.wiki

For the record, I have access to $ 20K (mainly on credit) and probably could get more if I wanted to. So, while it may seem like I'm making posts here about having an issue with fapping to escort pics, it doesn't mean I can't actually technically afford to visit one. This probably contributes to any no-fap, no-porn, triggering event since it makes it more tangible. Lets also face it, most people can afford an escort if they go with a low-level one. If you can't afford that, then you probably can't afford to pay for the internet, buy new release movies, or fill your tank with gas because $ 60 CAD is like the lowest starting price.

Eliot Rodger was PISSED that his BMW 328 was not getting him attention from women. His 328 was a solid car. Eliot Rodger also wasn't doing enough in-person approaches. Lifetime, he only did one approach, and it was an approach lasting less than 30 seconds. He expecting girls to come to him, which doesn't happen, even with a sweet BMW 328.

By your logic he could have paid for it too. His father probably helped facilitate that as well. I think I was looking at a documentary and it said his father tried to set him up with one or something like that. I don't know. But if it's in that rosey black & white picture you are portraying, then why didn't Eliot just use hookers? Don't you not see your escortcel logic is faulty?

 

[HaleyBaron]

It definitely does raise your standards when it comes to looks and sexual expectations, regular women start to become less attractive to you and you'll find yourself only wanting women that look like the ones you see in the videos. Another thing that can happen is becoming bored with one woman a lot faster since with porn, almost all men shuffle through several videos with different women whenever they watch it. This can make monogamy a lot harder to achieve if that's what a man wants since hes so used to always getting off to different women instead of the same one every single time.

There's inherently nothing wrong with this. See my thread on this:

Porn is not unrealistic and NoFap is not a cure.

When you're doing No Fap, I highly suggest you doing some sort of Fasting to maintain your streak.

www.sosuave.net

 

[MatureDJ]

... it would be a whole lot worse if we had to be perpetually single without being able to see naked women at all and never get off.

Just as there is the World's Oldest Profession, p0rn is the World's Oldest Art Idea.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

That's not porn that's pork

 

[MatureDJ]

Lets also face it, most people can afford an escort if they go with a low-level one.

I knew a white guy (StBlackOps2Cel-tier) that would wait in line outside a housing project to get a $10 bl0wj0b. He would say, "she's like my date".

 

[Stanley]

I knew a white guy that would wait in line outside a housing project to get a $10 bl0wj0b.

For a price like that how could you pass up that value! Costco level right there

 

[corrector]

Just as there is the World's Oldest Profession, p0rn is the World's Oldest Art Idea.

View attachment 9770

Those are pagan dieties. This one is a fertility goddess of sorts, Diana, or something like that perhaps. I guess I should worry about obsessing over thick women.

Indeed, many escort ads have terms that include "worship" and "goddess" in them. Some escorts wear a necklace with a crucifix or even upside down crucifix or pentagram. It's like they are mocking God or worshipping the devil by having these things on them while being engaged in that type of thing.

When I see ads like that, I quickly jump to another ad otherwise I lose interest. However, its good when I do see this in the process of lusting after escort ads, because it breaks the spell. It shows me that some of these women are dangerous and could be into something very dark and its not something to play around with. There is a book I'm reading called "Return of the Gods" by Jonathan Cahn. Its a good read if you go to Amazon.

 

[needimprovement250]

There's a good thread on in-person singles events & mixers linked below. Those structured singles events are usually complete shiit.

Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?

Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by...

www.sosuave.net

If men are to arrange dates through in-person means, it would have to do through something less structured in the real world. That would mean approaching strangers in the following venues

• outdoor settings like parks or paths
• indoor retail settings like malls and grocery stores
• fitness classes (at the end of class) or on the general gym floor
• nightlife venues

It could also mean a return to social circle game. I've never had a social circle capable of arranging dates for me and I'm in my late 30s. Social circle is the best form of game for finding one girlfriend who is likely to be a longer lasting girlfriend than the girlfriend who you'd find through approaching strangers, app swiping, or sending DMs with far less grief and frustration.

The difficult part is building the social circle that can arrange these sorts of dates. I was never able to do that due to multiple relocation from childhood up until my late 20s. The guys who do social circle game best are the ones who spent their entire childhood in one place and then stayed in that same area as adults. So long as they were not social outcasts in K-12, they are able to take advantage of their deep local ties and a get a good hometown type girlfriend.



Your biggest mental health problem from lack of sex has been a reliance on porn. Here's what happened. Women weren't paying attention to you. You had sexual needs. You indulged in porn. You indulged in more porn. That caused PIED. That affected your confidence and self-worth.

Porn is a sedation tied into depression and anxiety too. Porn also messes with your dopamine more than cocaine or heroin.

To me, weed and beer are less dangerous sedatives than porn. It's an overall better case when a man is neglected by a woman to be a non-porn using, non-fapping alcoholic than a big time porn user.

Incel status is also closely related to poverty. If a man is sliding into incel territory and has money, he stops being incel by paying directly for sex.

Eliot Rodger was PISSED that his BMW 328 was not getting him attention from women. His 328 was a solid car. Eliot Rodger also wasn't doing enough in-person approaches. Lifetime, he only did one approach, and it was an approach lasting less than 30 seconds. He expecting girls to come to him, which doesn't happen, even with a sweet BMW 328.

I'll have to check out that thread. As it is right now, it seems like there aren't that many structured singles events and maybe that's because their success rate isn't that high, so people just walk away from them frustrated because they just ended up being a big waste of time? Some of those places you listed, like nightlife venues would probably yield more success than others, like walking paths and grocery stores and they might just result in the same type of shallow connections you would get from OLD. I've never had a social circle capable of doing that either, and I can imagine building one that can do that from the ground up would be pretty difficult.

My reliance on porn has definitely been one of my biggest problems when it comes to porn, but it actually did go a little differently for me than how you described it. You see, girls were actually pretty forward with me when I was in high school and there were times when they would approach me, but I already had damaged confidence when it came to girls from seeing a friend get harshly rejected from several girls going back as far as early elementary with simple schoolyard crushes, I thought the same would be guaranteed to happen to me since I was associated with him and that I should save myself from the embarrassment and sadness of constant rejection by not even trying, and that's exactly what I did. I also had no male role models to give me any guidance when it came to this, not even my own father. So since I still had this belief system from seeing my friend get rejected and no guidance from a male role model, I ended up acting very closed off and avoidant towards all of the girls who approached me. I went to 2 different high schools and the first one was connected to the same school that I went to since 1st grade and at this school, there was one girl in particular who repeatedly tried to get me to talk to her and I was shutting down all of her attempts to do so. I briefly came to my senses before retreating back into this mindset and started talking to her during gym class, and she invited me to a party at her house and I proceeded to not talk to her at all at her own party at her house. She gave up on me completely after that and pretty much never talked to me again from that point on. Then at my second high school, I started there in the middle of 10th grade and the girls at the school were approaching themselves to introduce themselves and get to know me since I was the new guy and I again did not reciprocate because of my negative mindset and lack of guidance. During my first week of school there, a group of girls invited me to join them for lunch break, which I said yes to. But it ended up being very awkward because I wouldn't talk much and I even overheard one of them say that I forgot he was even with us because he's not saying anything. A couple of the girls in that group never talked to me again after this, a couple others tried once or twice more on their own but when I wouldn't reciprocate, they gave up and never talked to me again. At both of my high schools, it ended up getting to the point where I didn't talk to any of the girls not only for the reasons I already mentioned, but also because I didn't know any of them and then in turn none of them talked to me because they didn't know me and the attempts they made at trying to talk to me never worked. This led to me only talking to the other guys at my school, something that a lot of people at both schools thought was weird. As time went on in high school, my friends and family started to take notice that my dating life was nonexistent and they didn't offer to help, they just opted to make fun of me instead. I was the only guy in my friend group who was completely dateless and they noticed that I would only talk to other guys too, so they started picking on me for my lack of success with women and eventually started distancing themselves from me since I was the odd man out who wouldn't associate with women. Then after my younger started dating, my family started questioning my sexual orientation because I still haven't dated at all while my sister has been dating and my sister herself started poking fun at me because I've never even kissed a girl while she now has a bf. All of this made me feel even worse and I completely retreated into a world of online porn and that's where I've remained ever since.

I agree that porn is worse than weed or beer, the dopamine rush you get from porn coupled with using it as a safety blanket to aviod taking risks with real women is a very dangerous precedent. I started using weed and beer in high school because of my lack of success with women and the mockery I was getting because of it.

Yeah I remember that, I read Elliot's manifesto after that incident and he was furious that women weren't throwing themselves at him because of his BMW that his parents paid 50K for and the high end clothes he wore. I remember him even expressing frustration that his sister's bf doesn't even have a car and he's already had 2 gf's including his sister, and he's never even kissed a girl despite driving a BMW. I remember that they interviewed some people who knew him after the incident and a friend of his dad's who offered to give him guidance on women gave him a little homework assignment to give a random woman a compliment and keep walking, but he refused to do it and said that they should all be complimenting him instead. He once did say hi to a girl when she was walking in the opposite direction as him across campus and she didn't say it back, so he went into a bathroom stall to cry because of that. He even was able to get a social circle of male friends when he was in Santa Barbara, but he felt like they weren't helping him climb the social ladder and meet women, so he didn't want to hang out with them anymore. They later interviewed one of these guys after the incident and they said whenever they would get together with him, all he would do is throw a pity party for himself and keep talking about how awful his life is because he's never been with a woman. They said that he was such a bummer to be around that they just stopped inviting him whenever they got together.

 

[MatureDJ]

Those are pagan dieties. This one is a fertility goddess of sorts, Diana, or something like that perhaps. I guess I should worry about obsessing over thick women.

Indeed, many escort ads have terms that include "worship" and "goddess" in them. Some escorts wear a necklace with a crucifix or even upside down crucifix or pentagram. It's like they are mocking God or worshipping the devil by having these things on them while being engaged in that type of thing.

When I see ads like that, I quickly jump to another ad otherwise I lose interest. However, its good when I do see this in the process of lusting after escort ads, because it breaks the spell. It shows me that some of these women are dangerous and could be into something very dark and its not something to play around with. There is a book I'm reading called "Return of the Gods" by Jonathan Cahn. Its a good read if you go to Amazon.

You sound like there is a demand for ChristianEscorts. Oh wait, there is a demand:

 

[corrector]

You sound like there is a demand for ChristianEscorts. Oh wait, there is a demand:

View attachment 9777

Do you have an intelligent argument?

 

[Solomon]

A cursury glance of reddits, and random articles do indicate that things like OF and sex work is being more mainstreamed and normalized. It does not have the same level of stigma as the 00s. But it could be that most guys are MGTOWS and incels. Even I have to acknowledge this trend on this board that more and more, "successful" guys are priced out in terms of money or time.

It is on CNN and its becoming a mainstream societal theme about only a small amount of guys are successful while most are not. The suicide rates are 4 times higher for guys and there are more mass shootings as more guys feel isolated.

Its up to the successful redpillers to take over the arc of discussion about escortcelling. Or maybe they are part of the 15% and won the genetic lottery and nobody cares what they have to say either.

The top tier REdpillers aren't online and some belive it or not may have never heard of Red Pill Idelogy but have lived their whole lives like that or Similar

The youtubers who are RP community are a joke you got Justpearlythings who is a 5 at best, and a bunch of guys who have been exposed as frauds or scammers and actually Beta in Real life (I've met a few)

Good luck

 

[jafman]

I feel like something is missed by this thread and it is a very simple explanation as to why so many young men are single.

They are obese, ugly, stupid and have little to no prospects. As for game… well maybe on the ps5….
It’s very easy to forget how utterly undesirable many men actually are.
Too easy to blame women and society. Go and start noticing men a bit more. Look at your competition…

tragic really.