Why the Scarcity Mindset is the worst thing a man can catch

[ThisIsSparta]

The real hero isnt the "alpha dog" who falls into some pusy. It's the guy who grinds, gets rejected 1000x times, spends hours developing his skills and through all adversity is still standing with a smile on his face and a will for more.

Thats not a hero, this man is just wasting his time in desperate need for pvssy.

The real hero chases excellence, not pvssy.

 

[SW15]

there are many average women who are just as invisible as the average man.

This is false. In recent history, it was closer to being true in the post-Sexual Revolution, pre-internet era (1960s-early 1990s), but it's not close to reality now.

If an average looking woman isn't getting a lot of interest in real life, she has two digital options to get more male attention without even closely examining her day-to-day life.

She can increase her activity on social media if she's not very active on social media and get more social media DMs. In most cases, her DM flow already contains enough men as she's likely already somewhat active on social media. Instagram is the best dating app out there as there are far more people present on Instagram than the Big 3 swipe apps. It's true that there are a lot of people in committed relationships on Instagram, but there are plenty of unattached people on Instagram. That's likely where she'll get most of her attention. If she uses Twitter, she probably has DM options there too. If she went to college and has some office job, she likely has a LinkedIn account. If she makes a few posts on LinkedIn, she'll get some DMs looking for dates and/or sex on LinkedIn too.

If she doesn't get enough abundance from her social media DMs, she has the option to create an account on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge. Doing this will fix her abundance problem. An average looking woman on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge has 100+ penis options. While many may want her solely for sex, she has enough abundance from having that quantity of options that there will be some men who want to commit to her within those 100+ options. For instance, this woman had 1,946 men who had already swiped right on her on Bumble without her even needing to take action. That's a lot of options.

Wanting Monogamy as 1,946 Men Await My Swipe (Published 2017)

They met on Bumble and fell into a fun, one-night-a-week, nonexclusive routine — until she realized she liked him.

www.nytimes.com

There's no average man who can come close to female abundance like that.

If she doesn't want to explode her options digitally, she can change her day-to-day life and increase her options more easily than a man doing the same thing. Changing day-to-day life will not create as much abundance as going on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge, but it might help with quality and not getting completely overwhelmed by the abundance.

 

[Grounded eagle]

there are many average women who are just as invisible as the average man.

This is not true.Most average men would happily settle for an average woman but most average women have no problem telling average men that they ain’t sh!t, mostly due to a hilariously overblown sense of self worth.

I agree with everything else you said though.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I believe abundance at some point extends to beyond women itself and just to abundance in your own life. In my opinion, the most powerful and strongest player is one that can not have a woman in his life but still be happy because he knows that at some point, a woman will come along. When you get to this state, which is very tough to get to, you almost ascend to a brand new high. Obviously, you need to have value of your own or else you are just like one of those herbivores in Japan that avoid women and play videogames all day. Once you get to this mindset, it is like playing the game on cheat codes because you genuinely don't care, deal with women's BS less than any other guy might, and play on your own terms.

As much as we rag on the Nice Guy or AFC, I actually think the more well-aware men of the Manosphere and Red Pill are far far worse and even bigger simps.

First you have the incels.

The guys that post 1k+ theories, analyze face shapes of other men, worship male models, and then talk about female nature. They speak so poorly of women and of female nature but the cruel irony is that these men are obsessed. Rejection has broken them to where they have dug up a dark community online to be a part of and now their misery has company. I honestly think Incels online are bigger simps and much worse off than an AFC or Nice Guy that isn't game aware.

Try hard alphas.

The ones who preach about lifting and hypergamy and how awful women are. A lot of times these dudes might even lift and get on dating apps but these guys are also losers. They are obsessed and thirsty over women and upset that their new muscles are not finding them the success with women they wanted. Their lack of social development and their lack of ability to connect with people makes them that awkward guy, almost like a Sodini in the worst case scenarios.

MGTOWs.

On the surface it might seem that they are going their own way but they are actually just as obsessed with women. The issue is that they have to let the world know of their need to avoid women. Yet, they will browse forums just like this and hope other aspiring players follow in their lonely foot steps.

It is a cruel and nasty cycle with all types of these guys.

Except the AFC and Nice Guy lacks the ego so they can actually be more mentally healthy and move on to productive hobbies while eventually getting their normal LTR. The Incels and those in the Manosphere have low value but a big ego to boot which leads to them being entitled towards women. When one comes along, they act in scarcity and get possessive which the woman picks up on and flees. Then the guy gets even more frustrated and the cycle repeats.

You have the impostors and keyboard warriors too...

 

[SW15]

You'd also have to consider his social circle. Does he have a local younger sister or local similarly aged female cousins to help him out with introductions? I've known guys with girlfriends who would have been incel/borderline incel without sister introductions. Could he do a weak social circle option and join a co-ed sports league?

Should almost change the Title of Sosuave to: “Forget working on yourself and making money and dressing well and working out for girls in the early 30s. Just get a hot sister when you are 16 and you will be set.”

For a man, having a younger sister living in the same geographical area is one of the biggest game advantages that exists.

She doesn't even have to be hot. If she's not overweight and has decent facial aesthetics, she'll have good enough friends for introductions.

This will drastically cut down on the amount of time spent sending DMs on social media, approaching strangers in any venue, or spending time swiping and texting.

A younger sister is not a substitute for self-improvement. A guy needs to have some level of physical attractiveness and decent job. I would estimate that a local younger sister in her 20s/early 30s and childless is worth somewhere between 1-2 points on the SMV looks scale and about $50,000 - $70,000 worth of annual salary. In other words, if a man doesn't have a local sister, he would need to improve his looks 1-2 points through diet/lifestyle and up his salary $50,000 - $70,000 to get the same results cold approaching or using tech-based date arranging methods as having a younger sister that can provide introductions.

A good relationship with a local female cousin can provide the same advantages to a lesser degree.

The value of a local younger sister decreases once she gets married and/or has kids and her female social circle goes through the same thing. However, there's still even a decent chance 45 year old guy with a 40 year old sister might still be able to get some introductions that would save him time approaching or swiping.

I've not heard of men with local older sisters gaining any sort of meaningful advantage. Depending on the age difference, an older sister might have some social connections that are meaningful. It would have to be a narrow age difference between the brother and sister, no more than 3 years and likely less than 2 years. At best, a sister 18-24 months older might be able to get her younger brother a girlfriend who is 1-2 years younger.

Non-local sisters do not provide much in the way of meaningful game advantages. Men with non-local sisters will have to put in time either building local social circles, approaching strangers, or using the tech-based methods. The only possible advantage of a non-local sister is first hand observational insight and some experience interacting with women earlier in life if the age difference in somewhat narrow.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

That’s the fantasy the adult entertainment industry has successfully sold, and there are many average women who are just as invisible as the average man.

I disagree because makeup and attire destroy your case. Your average girl cam easily bump herself to an 8 or 9 or even a 10 with makeup. Plain Janes are the most sought after women by men.

 

[pipeman84]

That’s the fantasy the adult entertainment industry has successfully sold, and there are many average women who are just as invisible as the average man.

I agree with the above. For every Roman, there's his counterpart, Romana.
All the woe is me, guys making big bucks, having a 6pack but not finding love because they work in a male dominated industry would make sense if the male/female ratio in the general population would be something like 85/15%....but the ratio has always been around 50/50.

This is the reality for many men post college and in the professional world.

It's the same situation for women....'where are all the good men' cry can be found on comments of every article or YouTube video discussing relationships that have a female audience.

 

[SW15]

It's the same situation for women....'where are all the good men' cry can be found on comments of every article or YouTube video discussing relationships that have a female audience.

False. Every woman crying "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?" has numerous qualified orbiters and friends. That's usually a sign that she's unwilling to drop her standards beyond the Top 10% of men.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

False. Every woman crying "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?" has numerous qualified orbiters and friends. That's usually a sign that she's unwilling to drop her standards beyond the Top 10% of men.

Yesss, basically they want some guy 2-3 SMV points higher than them to settle for them for no good reason. I do think some men especially incels do the same thing. You have men that put in little to no effort that expect some non ugly girl to fall in to their laps from the sky while they are being a gymcel or playing WOW.

 

[pipeman84]

False. Every woman crying "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?" has numerous qualified orbiters and friends. That's usually a sign that she's unwilling to drop her standards beyond the Top 10% of men.

But isn't it the same situation with single men? Considering the 50/50 ratio, for every single guy, there's a single woman out there. But he's not willing to drop his standards to enter a relationship with her.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

But isn't it the same situation with single men? Considering the 50/50 ratio, for every single guy, there's a single woman out there. But he's not willing to drop his standards to enter a relationship with her.

I know people will shvt on me for this, but the majority of men in non-transactional relationships are dating a girl below them in some way. Men usually have to compensate somewhere to enter in to an relationship.

 

[Mike32ct]

But isn't it the same situation with single men? Considering the 50/50 ratio, for every single guy, there's a single woman out there. But he's not willing to drop his standards to enter a relationship with her.

It depends how we define single. A lot of “single” women have a FWB or an ex on the side or random ONS’. So most aren’t even that eager to find a (new) bf.

Obviously that’s their choice, but it leaves a truly single guy she knows as an orbiter or friendzone guy.

The other challenge is, assuming the single guy is average or below, any IOIs he will receive in real life will be fairly weak ones that could be easily missed or dismissed as friendliness.

 

[Divorced w 3]

My friend told me the other day that when he got dumped the guys we lived with (I was out by then) bet he couldn’t smash 30 women in 90 days. He did 34 and he met his wife in the near future and he gave zero fvck being exactly who he was and knew he was in love with his wife the moment he met her. Literally the smoothest cat I know. Total natural No scarcity whatsoever. This thread is absolutely right. Just don’t be a robot.

 

[Dr.Suave]

The problem with scarcity mindset is that women will pick up on it if you have it and their legs close for you.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Ok. Fair. But there ARE women who will take an interest in the guy. Oh wait, he doesn’t like those women?

I just love it when its the man friend-zoning the girls for a change.

 

[BeExcellent]

I just love it when its the man friend-zoning the girls for a change.

That’s great and all but how’s that helping him get laid?

Look. Every man on the planet would like a gorgeous woman. Every woman on the planet would like a sexy manly man. I’ve always been partial to George Clooney myself. My fiancé liked Claudia Schiffer.

Ok now back to reality. Clooney is now married and would never know me from Eve & Schiffer is never going to be in my fiancé’s realm either.

Pick from among potential partners who pick you. That’s simple. Your average “Karen” (quite a majority of women if you start looking at human beings around you at any given time) has no more dating choices than your average out of shape middle aged dude.

Why do humans value beauty so much anyway? Because most humans are average to ugly. It is what it is.

So if you don’t like the choices naturally available to you? If you can’t attract the chicks you want? Time to take stock and evaluate yourself.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Water seeks its own level. If a man is not pulling what he wants he has 3 options:

1. Take stock objectively and level up himself
2. Take stock objectively and accept the options he does have
3. Leave the game entirely

I mostly agree with this but I have a bit of a problem (or problems) with the second one: He cant just accept the options he does have if they dont even pass the boner test, they wouldnt be able to have sex even if he wanted to. For a woman its different, she can just open her legs and that´s it. But let´s suppose he can get an erection even if he is not attracted to them, so he accepts the options he does have. If all he wants is a lay (with a woman he doesnt even like), well, mission accomplished, I guess. I dont see the point but if that´s what he wanted, good for him.

But If he´s going for LTR-marriage and he´s not happy with his options atm, he shouldn´t accept those options. He will be miserable in the long run if he does.

Better to be patient and a better girl who fancies him could just be right around the corner. Improbable? Yes, but not impossible, unless he wasnt available because he previously accepted the options he did have at the moment.

 

[BeExcellent]

I mostly agree with this but I have a bit of a problem (or problems) with the second one: He cant just accept the options he does have if they dont even pass the boner test, they wouldnt be able to have sex even if he wanted to. For a woman its different, she can just open her legs and that´s it. But let´s suppose he can get an erection even if he is not attracted to them, so he accepts the options he does have. If all he wants is a lay (with a woman he doesnt even like), well, mission accomplished, I guess. I dont see the point but if that´s what he wanted, good for him.

But If he´s going for LTR-marriage and he´s not happy with his options atm, he shouldn´t accept those options. He will be miserable in the long run if he does.

Better to be patient and a better girl who fancies him could just be right around the corner. Improbable? Yes, but not impossible, unless he wasnt available because he previously accepted the options he did have at the moment.

Women don’t just open their legs. There must be desire such to get the juices flowing.

My point is that Victoria’s Secret models are not going to fall into average Joe’s lap, but that is what he fantasizes about, sometimes to the point of losing touch with the reality of women around him, and that robs him of real life tangible experiences.

 

[SW15]

If a man is not pulling what he wants he has 3 options:

1. Take stock objectively and level up himself
2. Take stock objectively and accept the options he does have
3. Leave the game entirely

That’s it really. That is true for any man or woman. Some people have more options. It is what it is.

I have a bit of a problem (or problems) with the second one: He cant just accept the options he does have if they dont even pass the boner test, they wouldnt be able to have sex even if he wanted to. For a woman its different, she can just open her legs and that´s it. But let´s suppose he can get an erection even if he is not attracted to them, so he accepts the options he does have. If all he wants is a lay (with a woman he doesnt even like), well, mission accomplished, I guess. I dont see the point but if that´s what he wanted, good for him.

But If he´s going for LTR-marriage and he´s not happy with his options atm, he shouldn´t accept those options. He will be miserable in the long run if he does.

Better to be patient and a better girl who fancies him could just be right around the corner. Improbable? Yes, but not impossible, unless he wasnt available because he previously accepted the options he did have at the moment.

#2 is the most problematic for a few reasons. You make a good point about the boner test. There's another critical issue there.

#2 assumes a healthy sexual marketplace and marketplace conditions that haven't been reality since circa 1990. Even if a man is willing to do this (and many are), the women that are on his own level want nothing to do with him. Rollo Tomassi has said many times that in the current market, the average woman wants nothing to do with the average man. Feminists have been urging women since the 1970s to "Never Settle". We're now on our at least third generation of women (Gen X, Millennials, new adults of Gen Z) who are so entitled that they believe they deserve nothing but an elite male while bringing little of value besides their vaginas to the equation. It also doesn't help that these average women have elite men sliding into their DMs and in their swipe app queues and swipe app inboxes. The elite men will gladly accept trouble free sex from them but won't commit to them. However, because of feminist influence and the experience of having sex with elite men, average to slightly above average women (4.5-6.5 rating) believe that they are entitled to men that are 8+ on the SMV scale.

With Option #1, men can only level up so much. While it's good to level up and improve in facets in life, outcomes from that will vary. There are men who have gotten bigger muscles and lowered their body fat yet still aren't getting good outcomes with women.

Women don't believe that they have those 3 life paths either. Women intensely dislike Option 2. Why are there tons of women online asking "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?". They only happen to notice that when elite men stop paying attention to them, for either casual sex or committed relationships. When a woman makes a YouTube/TikTok video about the disappearance of good men, or writes some article in an online publication about it, she's not in touch with reality. Those women usually have plenty of options in their swipe app queues or social media DMs.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Women don’t just open their legs. There must be desire such to get the juices flowing.

My point is that Victoria’s Secret models are not going to fall into average Joe’s lap, but that is what he fantasizes about, sometimes to the point of losing touch with the reality of women around him, and that robs him of real life tangible experiences.

What? A lot of women open their legs without desire, for money, for hypergamy, to get back at an ex, for a bunch of reasons. The thing is, anyone can open their legs on command, unless you are a paraplegic or something. Men cant really have a boner on command in the same way anyone can walk, turn your head, sit down, stand up, wave an arm, open your legs, that was my point.

I dont disagree with what you are saying about the Victoria secret model. I dont disagree with most of what you said except one thing: You said men who arent pulling what they want had 3 options, I said I agree except for one of those options and I think I made some valid points as to why.