Why the Scarcity Mindset is the worst thing a man can catch

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Most guys fail with women because they lack consistent access to single women or prevent themselves from it. It’s not because you are a nice guy or beta, but more so scarcity taking over your brain. For example, lets say you finally meet a girl that has interest in you ,but you lose her fro whatever. Was it really because you were too nice?
Nope, your scarcity mindset took over your brained and caused you to do these things.

A). Not escalate sexually out of fear
B). Throw all of your eggs in one basket. This girl could’ve had lukewarm interest at best initially
C). Appear desperate, needy, overbearing, and etc.

None of these traits have anything to do with being a nice guy or beta at all. However, if a man poisoned by this nonsense gets access to more women, he becomes an emotionless NPC unable to personally connect with. NOW, emotion doesn’t mean crying in front of your woman like a bvsh. Emotions means having an attractive personality basically. Is it confidence? Is it bad boy syndrome? No it’s called having an attractive personality and not being a boring NPC. Let’s look at clear signs of an emotionless man from the first page of topics on this forum.

1). Obsessed with formulaic principles like texting rules, first date rules, etc

2). Extreme Actions stemmed from fear of women rejecting them

3). Thinking some Fad/anything not related to talking to more women is going to suddenly improve your dating life

4). Being any level above intermediate in dating and still having to spin plates to hold a woman’s attraction level. This is taught to novice men for a reason. Most men want to date one girl and there’s very few posters on this forum that are legit just interested in obtaining a high lay count, so this is no flame to y’all.

5). Being over the age of 25 and still losing women from hypergamy. The nerve of a 30 year old plus man to cry on here about Hypergamy/304s, brag about spinning plates, and then proceed to give out some toxic pessimistic advice to other posters. Bro, you are basically a crazy old uncle at this point. Grow up! I get it if you are young man because dating in your twenties is difficult. However, it is a much different story in your thirties, so grow the fvck up lol. Yes, women still suck but losing a woman to cheating or sudden interest drop is a problem novice guys experience, not a guy with experience.

If any of these 5 points apply to you, you have been poisoned by the scarcity mindset. Again, don’t come attacking me claiming you are this spinning plates alpha warrior because I can easily research your post history to prove you are a fraud. I know who the true spinning plates/not interested in relationship guys are, so nothing towards y’all whatsoever.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Essentially, think of scarcity mindset as a parasitic zombie virus that slowly takes over your brain and converts you in to a NPC victim.

 

[Divorced w 3]

As Pook put it. Read it, and then rip it up and go do it….. DJ= Sexual + Fun + Prize

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I believe abundance at some point extends to beyond women itself and just to abundance in your own life. In my opinion, the most powerful and strongest player is one that can not have a woman in his life but still be happy because he knows that at some point, a woman will come along. When you get to this state, which is very tough to get to, you almost ascend to a brand new high. Obviously, you need to have value of your own or else you are just like one of those herbivores in Japan that avoid women and play videogames all day. Once you get to this mindset, it is like playing the game on cheat codes because you genuinely don't care, deal with women's BS less than any other guy might, and play on your own terms.

As much as we rag on the Nice Guy or AFC, I actually think the more well-aware men of the Manosphere and Red Pill are far far worse and even bigger simps.

First you have the incels.

The guys that post 1k+ theories, analyze face shapes of other men, worship male models, and then talk about female nature. They speak so poorly of women and of female nature but the cruel irony is that these men are obsessed. Rejection has broken them to where they have dug up a dark community online to be a part of and now their misery has company. I honestly think Incels online are bigger simps and much worse off than an AFC or Nice Guy that isn't game aware.

Try hard alphas.

The ones who preach about lifting and hypergamy and how awful women are. A lot of times these dudes might even lift and get on dating apps but these guys are also losers. They are obsessed and thirsty over women and upset that their new muscles are not finding them the success with women they wanted. Their lack of social development and their lack of ability to connect with people makes them that awkward guy, almost like a Sodini in the worst case scenarios.

MGTOWs.

On the surface it might seem that they are going their own way but they are actually just as obsessed with women. The issue is that they have to let the world know of their need to avoid women. Yet, they will browse forums just like this and hope other aspiring players follow in their lonely foot steps.

It is a cruel and nasty cycle with all types of these guys.

Except the AFC and Nice Guy lacks the ego so they can actually be more mentally healthy and move on to productive hobbies while eventually getting their normal LTR. The Incels and those in the Manosphere have low value but a big ego to boot which leads to them being entitled towards women. When one comes along, they act in scarcity and get possessive which the woman picks up on and flees. Then the guy gets even more frustrated and the cycle repeats.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

As much as we rag on the Nice Guy or AFC, I actually think the more well-aware men of the Manosphere and Red Pill are far far worse and even bigger simps.

You obviously know nothing, Jesse Pinkman.

I believe abundance at some point extends to beyond women itself and just to abundance in your own life. In my opinion, the most powerful and strongest player is one that can not have a woman in his life but still be happy because he knows that at some point, a woman will come along. When you get to this state, which is very tough to get to, you almost ascend to a brand new high.

To me, that sounds like an incel on hopium, waiting for his oneitis to come along.

 

[SW15]

Most guys fail with women because they lack consistent access to single women or prevent themselves from it. It’s not because you are a nice guy or beta, but more so scarcity taking over your brain. For example, lets say you finally meet a girl that has interest in you ,but you lose her fro whatever. Was it really because you were too nice?
Nope, your scarcity mindset took over your brained and caused you to do these things.

A). Not escalate sexually out of fear
B). Throw all of your eggs in one basket. This girl could’ve had lukewarm interest at best initially
C). Appear desperate, needy, overbearing, and etc.

I see scarcity mindset as a symptom and being a "nice guy" or a beta male as a disease. It's different to split the two apart.

5). Being over the age of 25 and still losing women from hypergamy. The nerve of a 30 year old plus man to cry on here about Hypergamy/304s, brag about spinning plates, and then proceed to give out some toxic pessimistic advice to other posters. Bro, you are basically a crazy old uncle at this point. Grow up! I get it if you are young man because dating in your twenties is difficult. However, it is a much different story in your thirties, so grow the fvck up lol. Yes, women still suck but losing a woman to cheating or sudden interest drop is a problem novice guys experience, not a guy with experience.

Plenty of men over 25 or over 30 lose women due to hypergamy. Think about all the 30s-40s women who have affairs and leave their boyfriends/husbands for their affair partner. This is a monkey branch.

A lot of men losing 30s-40s women to divorces and affairs are beta males.

Try hard alphas.

The ones who preach about lifting and hypergamy and how awful women are. A lot of times these dudes might even lift and get on dating apps but these guys are also losers. They are obsessed and thirsty over women and upset that their new muscles are not finding them the success with women they wanted. Their lack of social development and their lack of ability to connect with people makes them that awkward guy, almost like a Sodini in the worst case scenarios.

George Sodini was not an alpha male in any way. He was an incel. In 2009, when he committed his crime, he had not had sex since 1990. The wild thing is that Sodini was born in 1960, making him a Baby Boomer. He reached sexual maturity in the late 1970s-early 1980s. Sodini entered the market in an easier time for game than the Millennials that reached sexual maturity in the late 1990s-2000s.

In a lot of cases, muscles will help a man get laid but muscles without height won't help too much.

MGTOWs.

On the surface it might seem that they are going their own way but they are actually just as obsessed with women. The issue is that they have to let the world know of their need to avoid women.

What makes a man GTOW?

It's rejection from women.

When a man becomes MGTOW, women in the sexual marketplace don't care. They didn't want him anyway.

 

[Smok1nAce]

Agree. Having a positive mindset is a skill, especially when you in the company of misery.

The real hero isnt the "alpha dog" who falls into some pusy. It's the guy who grinds, gets rejected 1000x times, spends hours developing his skills and through all adversity is still standing with a smile on his face and a will for more.

 

[sangheilios]

@Jake_Gyllenhaal69

I agree and I feel that the biggest issue that most men face in the dating world is due to scarcity or the perception of it. Some of this is legitimately based on reality. Imagine a man that is otherwise successful and well put together but yet struggles with the dating world. It may not even have anything to do with how he looks, his social skills, etc.

Let's say we have Roman, he graduated from college with a degree in electrical engineering and he works at some company like Raytheon. Roman is in a male dominated career that he makes good money at and overall does well for himself. Roman takes care of himself, maybe he likes hiking or goes to the gym or likes to play pickup basketball games. He has a couple male friends he hangs out with, maybe they have a football night at his place or play poker or go bowling, etc. However, the problem for Roman is that he never is really around women. He may see some when he is out shopping for groceries, but that's not neccessarily all that often and it may not even be a realistic scenario for him to capitalize on. He's not really into nightlife so he's basically left with OLD apps. Apps suck for men, so he may get some matches here and there, often from women legitimately below him, and he could go a very long time with no success. However, when he does land a date or find someone he's been experiencing thirst for so long that he behaves in a way that comes across as too intense, which naturally scares her off. This isn't because Roman is a pyscho or needs to see a damn therapist, it's because subconciously he is aware that if it doesn't work out with this one woman in particular he may go months or even years before another opportunity arises. He is also very likely to repeat this same pattern with another woman if he is not aware of these feelings.

This is the reality for many men post college and in the professional world.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Plenty of men over 25 or over 30 lose women due to hypergamy. Think about all the 30s-40s women who have affairs and leave their boyfriends/husbands for their affair partner. This is a monkey branch.

A lot of men losing 30s-40s women to divorces and affairs are beta males.

What I was trying to point out is that hypergamy is more prevalent & savage with young men due to their inexperience and inability to climb the SMV ladder at those young of an age. Outright Losing out to Chad is basically the norm as a young male lol. A woman will practice hypergamy in a LTR or marriage after the guy has lost his frame in the relationship. However, this can be caused by a myriad of reasons though. Here is the type of relationship I am talking about.

1). Guy meets girl
2). Girl has interest in guy and they have sex
3). They both end up in a talking phase/early LTR
4). Girl stops vibing the guy and starts monkey branching out
5). Guy gets dumped, goes back to spinning plates rinse and repeat.

VS

1). Guy meets girl
2). Girl has interest in guy and they have sex
3). They both end up in a talking phase/early LTR
4). Early LTR turns in to an actual relationship.
5). At some point either the guy loses frame/something happens to start the death of the relationship
6). Girl starts monkey branching out
7). Guy gets dumped

My main point is that these men never get passed the early LTR phase. Novice guys are more than likely to experience breakup A because they lack dating experience.

 

[SW15]

Let's say we have Roman, he graduated from college with a degree in electrical engineering and he works at some company like Raytheon. Roman is in a male dominated career that he makes good money at and overall does well for himself. Roman takes care of himself, maybe he likes hiking or goes to the gym or likes to play pickup basketball games. He has a couple male friends he hangs out with, maybe they have a football night at his place or play poker or go bowling, etc. However, the problem for Roman is that he never is really around women. He may see some when he is out shopping for groceries, but that's not neccessarily all that often and it may not even be a realistic scenario for him to capitalize on. He's not really into nightlife so he's basically left with OLD apps. Apps suck for men, so he may get some matches here and there, often from women legitimately below him, and he could go a very long time with no success. However, when he does land a date or find someone he's been experiencing thirst for so long that he behaves in a way that comes across as too intense, which naturally scares her off. This isn't because Roman is a pyscho or needs to see a damn therapist, it's because subconciously he is aware that if it doesn't work out with this one woman in particular he may go months or even years before another opportunity arises. He is also very likely to repeat this same pattern with another woman if he is not aware of these feelings.

This is the reality for many men post college and in the professional world.

I think the Roman story is a good story with a basis in reality.

In that story, Roman's day-to-day activities stink. In terms of his day-to-day life, he's not putting himself around enough women. That's neither a problem with scarcity mentality nor is it a necessarily a problem with being a "nice guy" or beta male.

Roman could be approaching at the grocery store, at the mall, his gym, etc. With daygame, a guy like Roman would need to use multiple forms of it.

You'd also have to consider his social circle. Does he have a local younger sister or local similarly aged female cousins to help him out with introductions? I've known guys with girlfriends who would have been incel/borderline incel without sister introductions. Could he do a weak social circle option and join a co-ed sports league?

A guy like Roman would really need to examine his day-to-day activities and make significant changes. He'd need to run multiple game streams too.

 

[Stanley]

As Pook put it. Read it, and then rip it up and go do it….. DJ= Sexual + Fun + Prize

A while back I as was invited out to play with some top notch Jazz musicians who were at least 30 years my senior. one of em told me this quote from Charlie parker that really stuck with me

“First you learn the instrument, then you learn the music, then you forget all that s**t and just play.”

I think this can be applied to numerous facets of life. I enjoy reading the theories and write ups guys post here, but at then end of the day getting out there and just doing it and applying that knowledge is key. When i'm chatting up a girl i'm not thinking about every word coming out of my mouth, every gesture, when to escalate etc... Pook was a huge proponent of abandoning this formulaic way of thinking and to simply act and be in your own frame and positive energy. I couldn't tell you who coined DonJuan on this board, but I feel like Pook 'made' the definition of it, but many here don't differentiate between DJ and Player or whatever labeling lingo being used nowadays. Also after reading Mode One I feel RAC probably had a similar take on just going after it which is really what mode one is.

We get pretty empirical here on Sosuave and going back to the old posts there is a similar theme, but the presentation isn't so cut and dry. I think both have merit, but at the end of the day applied knowledge is better than academic knowledge.

As You Think, You Shall Become

It is not putting forth a 'spell' on them or controlling them. It is a matter of controlling yourself. Your destiny depends on what you think. As you think, you shall become. And so long as you think, so long you remain free.

bookofpook.com

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

@Jake_Gyllenhaal69

I agree and I feel that the biggest issue that most men face in the dating world is due to scarcity or the perception of it. Some of this is legitimately based on reality. Imagine a man that is otherwise successful and well put together but yet struggles with the dating world. It may not even have anything to do with how he looks, his social skills, etc.

Let's say we have Roman, he graduated from college with a degree in electrical engineering and he works at some company like Raytheon. Roman is in a male dominated career that he makes good money at and overall does well for himself. Roman takes care of himself, maybe he likes hiking or goes to the gym or likes to play pickup basketball games. He has a couple male friends he hangs out with, maybe they have a football night at his place or play poker or go bowling, etc. However, the problem for Roman is that he never is really around women. He may see some when he is out shopping for groceries, but that's not neccessarily all that often and it may not even be a realistic scenario for him to capitalize on. He's not really into nightlife so he's basically left with OLD apps. Apps suck for men, so he may get some matches here and there, often from women legitimately below him, and he could go a very long time with no success. However, when he does land a date or find someone he's been experiencing thirst for so long that he behaves in a way that comes across as too intense, which naturally scares her off. This isn't because Roman is a pyscho or needs to see a damn therapist, it's because subconciously he is aware that if it doesn't work out with this one woman in particular he may go months or even years before another opportunity arises. He is also very likely to repeat this same pattern with another woman if he is not aware of these feelings.

This is the reality for many men post college and in the professional world.

Lets say Roman meets a girl while playing poker night by random chance. The girl has some interest in Roman because he is sort of her type and he has a decent job. Roman is excited because finally a cute girl is interested in him. Roman asks her out on a date and she says yes. The date is meh, but Roman thinks it went pretty well. He tries to get her out on a second date, but the girl keeps either flaking or coming up with excuses. Roman texts her a lot and has another chance with her at a Poker night. He doesn't do anything, but Roman thinks he is getting closer and closer. Roman decides to bite the bullet and ask her to be his GF. She says that she isn't looking for a relationship right now and Roman buys the excuse. Later down the road, Roman finds out she is fvcking another guy and devastates Roman. Roman goes on the internet and they say that Roman lost the girl because he was a beta male nice guy and that girls only like bad boys.

Reflection: Roman did not lose this girl because he was a beta nice guy. He lost this girl because he was inexperienced with women and invested too much time into a girl with lukewarm interest. Unfortunately, Roman has been poisoned and led down a rabbit hole of some sort.

 

[SW15]

My main point is that these men never get passed the early LTR phase. Novice guys are more than likely to experience breakup A because they lack dating experience.

I like how you provided two logical progressions of an interaction.

1). Guy meets girl
2). Girl has interest in guy and they have sex
3). They both end up in a talking phase/early LTR
4). Girl stops vibing the guy and starts monkey branching out
5). Guy gets dumped, goes back to spinning plates rinse and repeat.

This guy has some game, though he has game problems. This is a better starting point than the swipe monkey on the apps experiencing too many "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions or too few matches to get dates or only 1-2 every 3-6 months. I see this as a more fixable game problem that what I described as rejections prior to sex.

This guy got the sex in Step 2. That takes something.

In a 2-3 year period of this pattern, a guy could get 5+ notches that way. That's not terrible when only considering that one fact. It is likely that the sex won't be as good as it could be in a longer relationship.

Something is happening in Steps 3-4. How long of a period is Steps 3-4? Perhaps the guy is getting more clingy due to scarcity. We know that women operate on "all the feelz" so a woman no longer vibing is a big issue.

It'd be normal to wonder about the psychological impact of this. Does the man gain more confident from the notches or does he lose confidence from multiple fails in Steps 3-4?

1). Guy meets girl
2). Girl has interest in guy and they have sex
3). They both end up in a talking phase/early LTR
4). Early LTR turns in to an actual relationship.
5). At some point either the guy loses frame/something happens to start the death of the relationship
6). Girl starts monkey branching out
7). Guy gets dumped

This is better than the first progression set.

In this game problem, beta-ness would accelerate Step 5. Having a stronger Alpha frame will slow down the progression. However, there are men who become more beta with the passage of time in a relationship. I've seen men who have gone from getting multiple one night stands to acting like weak betas in LTRs/marriages.

Lets say Roman meets a girl while playing poker night by random chance. The girl has some interest in Roman because he is sort of her type and he has a decent job. Roman is excited because finally a cute girl is interested in him. Roman asks her out on a date and she says yes. The date is meh, but Roman thinks it went pretty well. He tries to get her out on a second date, but the girl keeps either flaking or coming up with excuses. Roman texts her a lot and has another chance with her at a Poker night. He doesn't do anything, but Roman thinks he is getting closer and closer. Roman decides to bite the bullet and ask her to be his GF. She says that she isn't looking for a relationship right now and Roman buys the excuse. Later down the road, Roman finds out she is fvcking another guy and devastates Roman. Roman goes on the internet and they say that Roman lost the girl because he was a beta male nice guy and that girls only like bad boys.

Reflection: Roman did not lose this girl because he was a beta nice guy. He lost this girl because he was inexperienced with women and invested too much time into a girl with lukewarm interest. Unfortunately, Roman has been poisoned and led down a rabbit hole of some sort.

His inexperience with women did cause him to act in ways that were more beta. Also, his messed up day-to-day schedule caused the symptom of scarcity. Although, the argument can be made that a bad day-to-day life can be a symptom of being a beta male. Scarcity is a symptom that can show up in multiple game diseases. However, it is closely associated with being a beta.

 

[sangheilios]

Lets say Roman meets a girl while playing poker night by random chance. The girl has some interest in Roman because he is sort of her type and he has a decent job. Roman is excited because finally a cute girl is interested in him. Roman asks her out on a date and she says yes. The date is meh, but Roman thinks it went pretty well. He tries to get her out on a second date, but the girl keeps either flaking or coming up with excuses. Roman texts her a lot and has another chance with her at a Poker night. He doesn't do anything, but Roman thinks he is getting closer and closer. Roman decides to bite the bullet and ask her to be his GF. She says that she isn't looking for a relationship right now and Roman buys the excuse. Later down the road, Roman finds out she is fvcking another guy and devastates Roman. Roman goes on the internet and they say that Roman lost the girl because he was a beta male nice guy and that girls only like bad boys.

Reflection: Roman did not lose this girl because he was a beta nice guy. He lost this girl because he was inexperienced with women and invested too much time into a girl with lukewarm interest. Unfortunately, Roman has been poisoned and led down a rabbit hole of some sort.

I totally agree. A lot of inexperienced guys or those with limited opportunities would genuinely be hurt by something like this and may honestly give up on dating. It's a perpetual cycle over and over and over that can be difficult or even impossible for some to break. Guy has limited opportunities, guy finds himself in some chance set of circumstances where he crosses path with a girl that is at least somewhat into him. He is too intense and a girl who had "on the fence" interest decides she isn't into him and let's him go. Guy is frustrated and has no real idea what actually happened. Guy then starts reading red pill type stuff, gets into "theory" and other such nonsense without really addressing the core issue. Guy repeats this behavior again.

 

[BadBoy89]

I've known guys with girlfriends who would have been incel/borderline incel without sister introductions.

Nice.

Should almost change the Title of Sosuave to: “Forget working on yourself and making money and dressing well and working out for girls in the early 30s. Just get a hot sister when you are 16 and you will be set.”

 

[BeExcellent]

Lets say Roman meets a girl while playing poker night by random chance. The girl has some interest in Roman because he is sort of her type and he has a decent job. Roman is excited because finally a cute girl is interested in him. Roman asks her out on a date and she says yes. The date is meh, but Roman thinks it went pretty well. He tries to get her out on a second date, but the girl keeps either flaking or coming up with excuses. Roman texts her a lot and has another chance with her at a Poker night. He doesn't do anything, but Roman thinks he is getting closer and closer. Roman decides to bite the bullet and ask her to be his GF. She says that she isn't looking for a relationship right now and Roman buys the excuse. Later down the road, Roman finds out she is fvcking another guy and devastates Roman. Roman goes on the internet and they say that Roman lost the girl because he was a beta male nice guy and that girls only like bad boys.

Reflection: Roman did not lose this girl because he was a beta nice guy. He lost this girl because he was inexperienced with women and invested too much time into a girl with lukewarm interest. Unfortunately, Roman has been poisoned and led down a rabbit hole of some sort.

And it’s difficult to impossible for Roman to realize his active role in influencing the outcome in addition to Roman’s failure to understand lukewarm interest level.

This is what is tough for some men. Grasping that they need to get out there and fail their way to some degree or another, depending on the guy, gain experience and then they will begin to see results. No musician (well very very VERY few) simply sit down and play beautifully at first. There is a learning curve.

Social skills and relationships are no different but men hate the learning curve. Stop wasting energy and go practice. It’s the only way to learn most anything.

 

[Divorced w 3]

A while back I as was invited out to play with some top notch Jazz musicians who were at least 30 years my senior. one of em told me this quote from Charlie parker that really stuck with me

“First you learn the instrument, then you learn the music, then you forget all that s**t and just play.”

I think this can be applied to numerous facets of life. I enjoy reading the theories and write ups guys post here, but at then end of the day getting out there and just doing it and applying that knowledge is key. When i'm chatting up a girl i'm not thinking about every word coming out of my mouth, every gesture, when to escalate etc... Pook was a huge proponent of abandoning this formulaic way of thinking and to simply act and be in your own frame and positive energy. I couldn't tell you who coined DonJuan on this board, but I feel like Pook 'made' the definition of it, but many here don't differentiate between DJ and Player or whatever labeling lingo being used nowadays. Also after reading Mode One I feel RAC probably had a similar take on just going after it which is really what mode one is.

We get pretty empirical here on Sosuave and going back to the old posts there is a similar theme, but the presentation isn't so cut and dry. I think both have merit, but at the end of the day applied knowledge is better than academic knowledge.

As You Think, You Shall Become

It is not putting forth a 'spell' on them or controlling them. It is a matter of controlling yourself. Your destiny depends on what you think. As you think, you shall become. And so long as you think, so long you remain free.

bookofpook.com

For me the day 2 and onwards is where the missing piece is.

Day 1 I am lethal but now I’m learning that depending on what circumstances you meet is how you’re going to attract certain quality.

Want to plow some broad at the bar, I’ve got you covered better than most. But look at what you’re walking out with 9/10 of those times. It’s not a judgement it’s just an observation.

So go out, get bloody, love the journey not the destination and then stop to notice once in awhile.

 

[BadBoy89]

No musician (well very very VERY few) simply sit down and play beautifully at first. There is a learning curve.

Social skills and relationships are no different but men hate the learning curve.

I would agree.

But the question is: why do men hate the learning when it comes to romantic relationships? Personally I think it’s because women aren’t virgins at 16 and feminists have made it about a man’s genetics in their youngest and most fertile years.

It’s like “I have to put this much effort and time to wear down a 35 year old, non virgin, less than fertile woman so she may sleep with me in a few months, when she gave it up for free to the genetically blessed guy when she was 18?” Not worth the return. Rather read about World War 2.”

 

[Divorced w 3]

Great insight! See you're not so bad at this after all.

It’s a philosophical quote, wish I could take credit.

 

[BeExcellent]

I would agree.

But the question is: why do men hate the learning when it comes to romantic relationships? Personally I think it’s because women aren’t virgins at 16 and feminists have made it about a man’s genetics in their youngest and most fertile years.

It’s like “I have to put this much effort and time to wear down a 35 year old, non virgin, less than fertile woman so she may sleep with me in a few months, when she gave it up for free to the genetically blessed guy when she was 18?” Not worth the return. Rather read about World War 2.”

Ok. Fair. But there ARE women who will take an interest in the guy. Oh wait, he doesn’t like those women?

Beer bellied bald guys or socially awkward incel types are not going to suddenly end up with a Victoria’s Secret model. But that seems to be the expectation around here. That’s the fantasy the adult entertainment industry has successfully sold, and there are many average women who are just as invisible as the average man.

Water seeks its own level. If a man is not pulling what he wants he has 3 options:

1. Take stock objectively and level up himself
2. Take stock objectively and accept the options he does have
3. Leave the game entirely

That’s it really. That is true for any man or woman. Some people have more options. It is what it is.