Why the Scarcity Mindset is the worst thing a man can catch

[sangheilios]

If you drive a Ferrari, and invite someone for a ride around town and he says: 'what's with this sh!tty car you're driving', do you a) start explaining: man, are you blind? this is a Ferrari, it's this year, this horsepower, cost me this much yadda yadda or b) simply ignore him and drive away.


Because he was a beta with no self-respect (if he had any he wouldn't even date that kind of woman, let alone getting into a relationship with her) and she was a low quality woman walking all over him.

I also had mentioned it's not good to respond like that too frequently because it makes you look bad. As I mentioned, I have made comments like that but I feel it's better to just ignore it. I also agree with your comment about the second example I provided. The point I'm getting at is we could spend hours debating about why a woman is doing or saying certain things when at the end of the day it's just better that we assume she is not something you should have around.

 

[Mike32ct]

ok.. but the scarcity mindset IS the inherent natural state of a guy who is not currently having options. Like... what is the alternative? Monk mode?

I think the problem is that a guy without current options (that he is aware of) would feel like he's being delusional if he tries to force an abundance mindset.

 

[sangheilios]

6’4 235-240, they’re probably not wrong about your dad bod, otherwise you better be benching 400.

I am 6’3, and at the peak of my physical this summer I was 215, 12% BF, not quite ripped but defined,. I

So you’re either a body builder or you’re fat, and you have to be honest with yourself about it.

I probably have a bigger frame than you, I have very broad shoulders, etc. I also have very developed legs and glutes, which is something most men lack and will easily add 10-15 pounds on you. My resting heart rate is in the mid 50s right now and yesterday I was doing volume work with 30 pounds added on both chin ups and dips. I also do a ton of sled work in the gym, I'll literally be borderline running with a sled that weighs over 300 pounds and at the end of my workout, after other lower body work (hip thrusts, glute ham raises, etc.) I'll do sets of backwards sled drag with 500-600 pounds for 25 yards. I also can go hiking for hours on end, etc. I used to be really into swimming and would do that for well over an hour at a time. I'm not a bodybuilder, I've never touched steroids, but I'm well above average compared to men that go to the gym, and I'm almost 33.

Also, Tom Brady weighs over 220 and he isn't a big guy at all.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I've had women, those that I was not interested in, point out an obese woman and tell me that is my league. Do you think they are doing this to mess with me or because they actually believe that?

I think maybe

A) She´s delusional, she actually believes it
B) She´s lashing out becasue she knows you are not into her.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I've literally said things like "you realize I'm taller and in better shape than any man you are going to date, right?".

Not very Suave but I bet those b1tches had it coming

 

[Dr.Suave]

Another strategy that I've seen insecure women use on men is to make comments or behave in a way to lessen them internally. I knew a guy that was in a relationship with a woman and she said to him that she could "go on a dating app and have him replaced in a week".

Now why do you think this is?

Probably a test. Either her attraction was not that high to begin with or it started decreasing because of something he said or did, so she started testing.

 

[sangheilios]

I think the problem is that a guy without current options (that he is aware of) would feel like he's being delusional if he tries to force an abundance mindset.

I think a way to create an abundance mindset without actually having multiple options is to just have other things going on in your life. Think about it, why would you be busy chasing some bimbo when you have things going on that are of huge importance to you. Maybe you are aspiring to be a physician assistant and are grinding away at school. Maybe you are really into endurance races and training for an ironman event? Maybe you love playing in a band and spend hours practicing on the electric guitar. Maybe you are in a competitive career and you are going into overtime to achieve your goals. What I'm saying is that if you have a lot of things going on you really wouldn't have the time or energy for chasing some stupid female who chances are is completely ordinary lol.

I think it's important for men to have goals and aspirations in life, or at the very least pursue things that they are passionate about or enjoy. I also feel that being challenged in some form or another is important for men and I believe that as a collective we'd be much happier for it. There's a reason why video games are so particularly popular for young men/boys, and it's because they are providing an adventure that has goals and tasks you need to accomplish, new places to explore, etc.

 

[sangheilios]

Not very Suave but I bet those b1tches had it coming

As I had mentioned to the other poster, I feel it's better to not make remarks like that in response to things that a woman may say to you. I believe it just makes you look bad, like they are getting under your skin and actually bothered by it. Ignoring it is a better option in my opinion but sometimes you also need to stick up for yourself. That example was from a few years ago, but I did it in a very to the point and factual manner, as if I was reading a non fiction lol. It basically ended the conversation right then and there.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I think a way to create an abundance mindset without actually having multiple options is to just have other things going on in your life.

I like this. Like spinning other plates but the other plates are stuff you actually enjoy or want instead of just another c0ck carusel rider.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I probably have a bigger frame than you, I have very broad shoulders, etc. I also have very developed legs and glutes, which is something most men lack and will easily add 10-15 pounds on you. My resting heart rate is in the mid 50s right now and yesterday I was doing volume work with 30 pounds added on both chin ups and dips. I also do a ton of sled work in the gym, I'll literally be borderline running with a sled that weighs over 300 pounds and at the end of my workout, after other lower body work (hip thrusts, glute ham raises, etc.) I'll do sets of backwards sled drag with 500-600 pounds for 25 yards. I also can go hiking for hours on end, etc. I used to be really into swimming and would do that for well over an hour at a time. I'm not a bodybuilder, I've never touched steroids, but I'm well above average compared to men that go to the gym, and I'm almost 33.

Also, Tom Brady weighs over 220 and he isn't a big guy at all.

You didn’t answer the question. That’s a totally beta, long winded, need to prove to everyone how great you are response.

so what’s your body fat percentage?

if you’re as jacked as you say you are, you don’t have dad bod. It’s not like the world is walking around with a secret mission to call you fat.

 

[sangheilios]

I like this. Like spinning other plates but the other plates are stuff you actually enjoy or want instead of just another c0ck carusel rider.

I think men would be a lot happier living a life where they have a broad variety of things going on in their life or being hyper focused on a particular goal. I'm referring purely to positive things that develop you as an individual. Going out drinking every weekend is not a good habit to develop and provides no real benefit to you, as it's costly financially but also is bad for your health. This could literally be just about anything. Reading, playing chess, hiking, going to the gym, working on cars, fishing, hunting, etc.

 

[sangheilios]

Did you really just compare yourself to a professional athlete?

Did you really miss the point of what I said? Tom Brady is over 220 and not a big guy at all. What I'm saying is that men have a variety of frames, etc. and will look different than one another. You also probably have literally no idea what I was even talking about with the main part of my post on there.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Did you really miss the point of what I said? Tom Brady is over 220 and not a big guy at all. What I'm saying is that men have a variety of frames, etc. and will look different than one another. You also probably have literally no idea what I was even talking about with the main part of my post on there.

I updated that post. Go take a look. You don’t need to come on here, ask for help, and then get defensive when people give you feedback. You’re starting to exhibit the personality of someone with low self esteem and an inability to be honest with themselves.

 

[sangheilios]

You didn’t answer the question. That’s a totally beta, long winded, need to prove to everyone how great you are response.

so what’s your body fat percentage?

if you’re as jacked as you say you are, you don’t have dad bod. It’s not like the world is walking around with a secret mission to call you fat.

Beta? I'm literally giving you an example of what I'm able to do, which is well above the scope for the vast majority of men that are training lol. I have no idea what my actual body fat percentage is because I'm clearly very fit and can move my body at a very high level, most people can't do stuff like that. At 6'4" my waist right now is about 35" and my chest is 47-48", so I'm right around where I should be. A really good beach body for me would be 230, so about a 7-10 pound difference from where I'm at now. I also got my cholesterol back a couple months ago and my total was 138, give me a reason why I should be going on some super strict diet lol. What I'm getting at is I value actual health and fitness/physical capacity and not trying to chase some visual standard, which is also a female trait btw.

I was also providing an example earlier, where a few women have felt the need to say things like that to me. I've also had other men make comments like that about me.......and the reason being is because they are insecure. My entire life I've had people try to tear me down, it's not because of a vibe or game, it's because they feel insecure around me. This is why it's important to cut out losers like that, which is what the scope of this thread is partially discussing now. If a woman is acting like that you cut her the hell out lol.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Beta? I'm literally giving you an example of what I'm able to do, which is well above the scope for the vast majority of men that are training lol. I have no idea what my actual body fat percentage is because I'm clearly very fit and can move my body at a very high level, most people can't do stuff like that. At 6'4" my waist right now is about 35" and my chest is 47-48", so I'm right around where I should be. A really good beach body for me would be 230, so about a 7-10 pound difference from where I'm at now. I also got my cholesterol back a couple months ago and my total was 138, give me a reason why I should be going on some super strict diet lol. What I'm getting at is I value actual health and fitness/physical capacity and not trying to chase some visual standard, which is also a female trait btw.

I was also providing an example earlier, where a few women have felt the need to say things like that to me. I've also had other men make comments like that about me.......and the reason being is because they are insecure. My entire life I've had people try to tear me down, it's not because of a vibe or game, it's because they feel insecure around me. This is why it's important to cut out losers like that, which is what the scope of this thread is partially discussing now. If a woman is acting like that you cut her the hell out lol.

Dude, as I said, likely, but now definitely my parameters are almost identical to yours. I am the same shoulder size as you. My waist is smaller. You are not fit. I am sorry to tell you. I am 228 right now and i am not fit. I am bulking. I can get away with it because of my prior conditioning but if I were 240 I’d be puffy af and since we have the same height and shoulders, I can tell you that you are too. You’re likely carrying it in your face - If anything, you’re carrying most in the mid section because you are 48’ and there is no shot you’re carrying that weight up top.

Also, all that other opining outside of just stating your metrics, to a stranger who is trying to help, isdefensive behavior. You don’t need to, nor should you, ever feel the need to explain yourself or apologize for who you are.

Isuggest you read Richard Cooper and Pook and figure how you really want to be in life. If this is your best self then own it. Stop feeling so beat up about it. Guessing you’re not happy though with the way you look and feel because you’re very intent on explaining it away. Nothing wrong with being sick and tired and motivated to change.

 

[sangheilios]

To me, an abundance mindset does not necessarily mean having various options at your disposal but rather knowing you can if/when you want to.

I've always been a "one at a time" dater however I always had abundance because if/when one man didn't work out, I knew there was another man right around the corner, if I felt an attraction to him..

I always had a lot of discretion re who I chose to date (including sex), so there were times I was alone which was fine with me. I still always maintained an abundance mindset.

It comes with having confidence and knowing your value and what's quoted above adds to that.

PS: I'm female but the same mindset would apply to men.

$.02

We all know it's easier for women to line up a replacement man, no sense in debating this. I believe that the biggest reason people, both men and women, stick around in unhealthy relationships is due to a fear of being alone. Why do they fear being alone? Because they feel that they may not be able to find someone else. In today's world, this is actually the norm for men and it's quite easy to go literally months or years without any real prospects. This is going to have an affect on men internally and is definitely going to come out in some way or another......which ties in exactly with where the topic of this thread was originally going. For men, the biggest issue is the sexual thirst aspect of going on dry spells, it changes the way a lot of men behave. From what I've seen, I believe that if a man has gone a long time without sex, and he has been craving for it, it creates a vibe that women pick up on. This could be seen as being perhaps a bit too eager or there or even potentially threatening, where they may feel uncomfortable being alone with that man. A lot of these guys are probably totally normal and don't need therapy lol, but I can totally see it. On the flip side, I also feel that if a man goes a very long time without sex he becomes like a monk and then has his sexual aura become completely absent. I also believe women pick up on this and just never signal any real interest because he's not displaying interest either.

I'll admit, I've been much more like the latter monk example and it's totally possible I've missed a lot of potential opportunities. I can also cite one man in particular that was in the former category where he actually came across as predatory towards women, there were many that said they felt uncomfortable around him.

 

[Gamisch]

We all know it's easier for women to line up a replacement man, no sense in debating this. I believe that the biggest reason people, both men and women, stick around in unhealthy relationships is due to a fear of being alone. Why do they fear being alone? Because they feel that they may not be able to find someone else. In today's world, this is actually the norm for men and it's quite easy to go literally months or years without any real prospects. This is going to have an affect on men internally and is definitely going to come out in some way or another......which ties in exactly with where the topic of this thread was originally going. For men, the biggest issue is the sexual thirst aspect of going on dry spells, it changes the way a lot of men behave. From what I've seen, I believe that if a man has gone a long time without sex, and he has been craving for it, it creates a vibe that women pick up on. This could be seen as being perhaps a bit too eager or there or even potentially threatening, where they may feel uncomfortable being alone with that man. A lot of these guys are probably totally normal and don't need therapy lol, but I can totally see it. On the flip side, I also feel that if a man goes a very long time without sex he becomes like a monk and then has his sexual aura become completely absent. I also believe women pick up on this and just never signal any real interest because he's not displaying interest either.

I'll admit, I've been much more like the latter monk example and it's totally possible I've missed a lot of potential opportunities. I can also cite one man in particular that was in the former category where he actually came across as predatory towards women, there were many that said they felt uncomfortable around him.

Its not just sex that men crave. It's also intimacy, a connection and somebody who knows him on a deeper level. Its tiring to always stay on a surface level with women, and never get passed the stage of 2- 5 dates.

A regular visitor of SS should know by now that any questions regarding relationships should be subtlety dodged, or to bend the truth if necessary. Be vague and unclear, even when you're slaying like crazy.

-when was your last, - what was your longest, - what are you looking for.

Most men will be "honest" about this and tell her things he THINKS she wants to hear, and portray himself as the ultimate "relationship guy", and tell her about his dryspells and not having had sex in ages, cheating exes, that he wants to live together some day. We like to hear a women say something similar, and it again shows what works for women wont work for men. A women on a dryspell would rather feck the player than the "good guy"( if she wanted to feck the good guy it would've happened already).

 

[Gamisch]

What I was trying to point out is that hypergamy is more prevalent & savage with young men due to their inexperience and inability to climb the SMV ladder at those young of an age. Outright Losing out to Chad is basically the norm as a young male lol. A woman will practice hypergamy in a LTR or marriage after the guy has lost his frame in the relationship. However, this can be caused by a myriad of reasons though. Here is the type of relationship I am talking about.

1). Guy meets girl
2). Girl has interest in guy and they have sex
3). They both end up in a talking phase/early LTR
4). Girl stops vibing the guy and starts monkey branching out
5). Guy gets dumped, goes back to spinning plates rinse and repeat.

VS

1). Guy meets girl
2). Girl has interest in guy and they have sex
3). They both end up in a talking phase/early LTR
4). Early LTR turns in to an actual relationship.
5). At some point either the guy loses frame/something happens to start the death of the relationship
6). Girl starts monkey branching out
7). Guy gets dumped

My main point is that these men never get passed the early LTR phase. Novice guys are more than likely to experience breakup A because they lack dating experience.

Also, most younger men (younger than 30 I geuss) only meet women through OLD. I've literary heard some young guys say this. "Approach, nahhh".

To really understand women you must've been around them constantly. Living together and being in a rollercoaster type of relationship will teach you how to really deal with women.

Men don't really mind how they get a woman, but women on the other hand crave a romantic story. If a man doesnt know how to create this story he might get her poosy, but he will never get the woman's heart. A man must know the difference between meeting a woman through OLD, approach, night game, social circle ect. Meet the same woman in these 4 scenarios and her view on you might be completely different depending upon how you met her.

It's sad when you only know women on a surface level but never went deeper. And OLD is the driest, most superficial way to meet women. I take OLD with a huge grain of salt. I rather meet a woman in real life, because it creates a way better "romantic " story .

To me, an abundance mindset does not necessarily mean having various options at your disposal but rather knowing you can if/when you want to.

I've always been a "one at a time" dater however I always had abundance because if/when one man didn't work out, I knew there was another man right around the corner, if I felt an attraction to him..

I always had a lot of discretion re who I chose to date (including sex), so there were times I was alone which was fine with me. I still always maintained an abundance mindset.

It comes with having confidence and knowing your value and what's quoted above adds to that.

PS: I'm female but the same mindset would apply to men.

The "knowing you can if you wanted to" mindset. Having that confidence.

$.02

Ofcourse it's seems easier for women. But take your favorite IG model or whatever, and ask her if she ever been single and had a dryspell for a long time. Big change she will say yes. Yet she'll keep herself in shape, look and smell good ect. She will know (unconsciously) that every day she might meet "that man". Ofcourse insecurities might creep up now and then, but the hb8+ will always have some confidence she will be able to " drive a man crazy". More and more men dont have this confidence .

To refer to the previous paragraph, what works for me lately is having the alpha in the wild mentality. I do my things and wont go out of my way to meet women, but yet I'm always prepared. My body, my style ,my crib is always ready for action. It happened to often that wasnt ready when I suddenly met a hot woman. I could go grocery shopping and take a woman home( happens once a year but oke) .I could be hiking, swimming, fishing, jogging ,chilling ect ,and boom, there are 1 or 2 hot women who now meet "the Alpha in the wild. "

A quick ONS via OLD is the equivalent of a man going to the hookers. It's just not as satisfying as a more intimate relationship with feeling and anxiety involved. Its actually detrimental for most humans.

 

[MatureDJ]

What makes a man GTOW?

It's rejection from women.

When a man becomes MGTOW, women in the sexual marketplace don't care. They didn't want him anyway.

Exactly! True Forced Loneliness (i.e., the original term for Incel) prophet "Roller" Steve Hoca wisdom:

MGTOW are TFLers in denial.

 

[MatureDJ]

This is false. In recent history, it was closer to being true in the post-Sexual Revolution, pre-internet era (1960s-early 1990s), but it's not close to reality now.

If an average looking woman isn't getting a lot of interest in real life, she has two digital options to get more male attention without even closely examining her day-to-day life.

She can increase her activity on social media if she's not very active on social media and get more social media DMs. In most cases, her DM flow already contains enough men as she's likely already somewhat active on social media. Instagram is the best dating app out there as there are far more people present on Instagram than the Big 3 swipe apps. It's true that there are a lot of people in committed relationships on Instagram, but there are plenty of unattached people on Instagram. That's likely where she'll get most of her attention. If she uses Twitter, she probably has DM options there too. If she went to college and has some office job, she likely has a LinkedIn account. If she makes a few posts on LinkedIn, she'll get some DMs looking for dates and/or sex on LinkedIn too.

If she doesn't get enough abundance from her social media DMs, she has the option to create an account on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge. Doing this will fix her abundance problem. An average looking woman on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge has 100+ penis options. While many may want her solely for sex, she has enough abundance from having that quantity of options that there will be some men who want to commit to her within those 100+ options. For instance, this woman had 1,946 men who had already swiped right on her on Bumble without her even needing to take action. That's a lot of options.

Wanting Monogamy as 1,946 Men Await My Swipe (Published 2017)

They met on Bumble and fell into a fun, one-night-a-week, nonexclusive routine — until she realized she liked him.

www.nytimes.com

There's no average man who can come close to female abundance like that.

It's OVER for AverageManCels.