Now I Know How Military Husbands Feel

[DonJuanjr]

It sucks man. I unplugged almost 2 years ago, and reading $hit like this from a veteran like you just tells me that being unplugged doesn't mean having no feelings, or that nothing affects you, cause me in the beginning I was reading advises in here and I thought those guys were unmovable, nothing affected them.

For anyone new in here that comes across with this post, If a vet like you can be affected, it means being unplugged doesn't mean not being affected, but know what to do when hard times hit. Best to you brother.

I don't think a guy that gets married is truly unplugged. They may have game down, and are red pilled, but haven't let go of the disney "what if I found the needle in the haystack?" mindset. There is no needle. This is why I'm anti marriage. It destroys any frame that a man could have.

 

[Gamisch]

I don't think a guy that gets married is truly unplugged. They may have game down, and are red pilled, but haven't let go of the disney "what if I found the needle in the haystack?" mindset. There is no needle. This is why I'm anti marriage. It destroys any frame that a man could have.

Marriage with the right woman is the pinnacle of LTR'S, but only as a way to reward her for showing PERFECT behavior for a extended period of time. Basically she behaves so good you feel like its only fair and logical to fulfill her dream of marriage.

A woman like this will have the right attitude and will be off the market before she is 25. I think her looks dont even matter that much. It takes a certain type of woman.

She has to be "unpleasantly pleasant " , and leave you with no other choice than rewarding her with marriage. And even than I geuss you should decline this option multiple times before you cave in.

So yeah, something most men wont ever see in their entire life. A man with the need to be in a ltr is already lost these days, a man who pursues marriage without even having a long term, GOOD woman is a psychopath

 

[Atom Smasher]

Marriage with the right woman is the pinnacle of LTR'S, but only as a way to reward her for showing PERFECT behavior for a extended period of time. Basically she behaves so good you feel like its only fair and logical to fulfill her dream of marriage.

A woman like this will have the right attitude and will be off the market before she is 25. I think her looks dont even matter that much. It takes a certain type of woman.

She has to be "unpleasantly pleasant " , and leave you with no other choice than rewarding her with marriage. And even than I geuss you should decline this option multiple times before you cave in.

So yeah, something most men wont ever see in their entire life. A man with the need to be in a ltr is already lost these days, a man who pursues marriage without even having a long term, GOOD woman is a psychopath

That was extremely well said.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Can you explain mistakes he made, for relatively new guys like me could get some insight?

It's just something I've been on married men's cases forever. The other thread about plate spinning ties into it. When men commit and get married, they're basically doubling down on commiting to a woman. And commiting to women is mostly a sign of a man getting lax in their pursuit of women and improvement of themselves. This is mostly seen in men who believe women to be a treasured asset. I'm not going into the whole historical essence of marriage itself, but simply: getting married is not attuned to how humans behave. Across animal groups, it is very rare for animals to have lifetime partners. Only a few ever do so. Meanwhile, every other animal has multiple sex partners throughout their life (or one and just die from sex). Humans being the most versatile of our species, there is no reason to lock down with just one woman. So when I see yet another wife going out to the bar and slutting it up, I just laugh cause the same ole song keeps being sung.

The "kicking" was heavily implied by you in your first two (unnecessary and irrelevant) posts in this thread. Further by this post with the "I told you so" directed at Lefty. But you already know this. Don't play dumb - it is completely disingenuous.

Viewing my post as kicking is your fault.

Marriage with the right woman is the pinnacle of LTR'S, but only as a way to reward her for showing PERFECT behavior for a extended period of time. Basically she behaves so good you feel like its only fair and logical to fulfill her dream of marriage.

I agree with you on principle, but every woman eventually becomes a problem with a man. Even if the woman never cheats or divorces him, they are still a nag. And then they grow old and become sexless.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Even if the woman never cheats or divorces him, they are still a nag. And then they grow old and become sexless.

I think this is worth the companionship during old age. I doubt a woman would never cheat or divorce though. How can a man keep his frame when the woman KNOWS she has his balls in a vice legally, and the sexist court system will favor her. That she benefits if there's a divorce....

 

[Dr.Suave]

Marriage with the right woman is the pinnacle of LTR'S, but only as a way to reward her for showing PERFECT behavior for a extended period of time. Basically she behaves so good you feel like its only fair and logical to fulfill her dream of marriage.

I think her looks dont even matter that much. It takes a certain type of woman.

She has to be "unpleasantly pleasant " , and leave you with no other choice than rewarding her with marriage. And even than I geuss you should decline this option multiple times before you cave in. So yeah, something most men wont ever see in their entire life.

Nice post bro. Agree 100%

 

[Barrister]

Marriage with the right woman is the pinnacle of LTR'S, but only as a way to reward her for showing PERFECT behavior for a extended period of time. Basically she behaves so good you feel like its only fair and logical to fulfill her dream of marriage.

A woman like this will have the right attitude and will be off the market before she is 25. I think her looks dont even matter that much. It takes a certain type of woman.

She has to be "unpleasantly pleasant " , and leave you with no other choice than rewarding her with marriage. And even than I geuss you should decline this option multiple times before you cave in.

So yeah, something most men wont ever see in their entire life. A man with the need to be in a ltr is already lost these days, a man who pursues marriage without even having a long term, GOOD woman is a psychopath

Only part I will disagree with is when you say "her looks don't even matter that much." You need a woman who is nice to look at. No, she doesn't need to be a HB 9 or 10, but she needs to be at least in the 7 range. If not, expect extreme boredom out of yourself with her in short order. In that case, it may be you that gets the itch to step outside the relationship rather than her. That also leads to unhappiness even if this hypothetical woman (who I question whether she really exists) has "perfect" behavior.

 

[Gamisch]

It's just something I've been on married men's cases forever. The other thread about plate spinning ties into it. When men commit and get married, they're basically doubling down on commiting to a woman. And commiting to women is mostly a sign of a man getting lax in their pursuit of women and improvement of themselves. This is mostly seen in men who believe women to be a treasured asset. I'm not going into the whole historical essence of marriage itself, but simply: getting married is not attuned to how humans behave. Across animal groups, it is very rare for animals to have lifetime partners. Only a few ever do so. Meanwhile, every other animal has multiple sex partners throughout their life (or one and just die from sex). Humans being the most versatile of our species, there is no reason to lock down with just one woman. So when I see yet another wife going out to the bar and slutting it up, I just laugh cause the same ole song keeps being sung.


Viewing my post as kicking is your fault.




I agree with you on principle, but every woman eventually becomes a problem with a man. Even if the woman never cheats or divorces him, they are still a nag. And then they grow old and become sexless.

It's a grim but realistic view, and one that at least guarantees a man stays on the safe side.

The irony is that in order to have a successful marriage a man must first be on the other side of the spectrum. E.g he gotta be a super player. A celebrity like type of man with an absolute abundance of women, so she knows there's plenty of competition for her.

This is again, only 5% of men, maybe less. Most men who pursue marriage do this for the wrong reasons. And even than I agree it's a matter of time before you'll lose frame. You'll become softer and she'll become rougher. A man craves stability while women crave uncertainty. At some point the table might turn , man let's his guard down and even lose his ability to pull new poosy. Then you are fecked anyway.

Only part I will disagree with is when you say "her looks don't even matter that much." You need a woman who is nice to look at. No, she doesn't need to be a HB 9 or 10, but she needs to be at least in the 7 range. If not, expect extreme boredom out of yourself with her in short order. In that case, it may be you that gets the itch to step outside the relationship rather than her. That also leads to unhappiness even if this hypothetical woman (who I question whether she really exists) has "perfect" behavior.

I specifically said looks don't matter because I've seen plenty of times that less attractive women tend to be good women, they are just overlooked by the majority of men. Similarly like the good but less attractive dude is overlooked by most women. One of my friends is rather unattractive, but I I wouldn't think twice to let him marry a woman close to me. He is the definition of a good but unattractive man, yet stil on a yearslong dryspell


I have a weakness for hot women( who doesn't?), but sometimes I look back at the women I rejected only to realize they were probably a better fit for me. As the years went by my bar lowered. 15 years ago a hb7/6 was a 7 /6 for a reason, right? Now I see the same type of woman she is suddenly a 7/8. Peace of mind is also something extremely valuable.

I do respect men who have a less attractive woman but have peace of mind. Maybe it's just me having some GIG syndrome.

I agree though, that the women who I viewed as lower SMV than me never got me rock hard. Was more like pity fecking them. But again, I sometimes wonder if this is someting that's off about me. Is life all about being rockhard? And is a rock hard D worth the rock hard head aches? I think alotta men would benefit from looking for GOOD woman rather than Bad byitches.

 

[2Rocky]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=913489560008845

 

[Stanley]

That blows man, time to attorney up. Also hope your ma is doing alright. On the brightside you've now got some newfound freedom at least.

 

[2Rocky]

She has to be "unpleasantly pleasant " , and leave you with no other choice than rewarding her with marriage. And even than I geuss you should decline this option multiple times before you cave in.

I think I know what you mean by "unpleasantly pleasant " but I'd like to hear you explain your definition.

For me it is someone who, during your low moments, is not swayed by your negativity and keeps a positive loving attitude when you feel completely unlovable....

 

[HaleyBaron]

I think this is worth the companionship during old age. I doubt a woman would never cheat or divorce though. How can a man keep his frame when the woman KNOWS she has his balls in a vice legally, and the sexist court system will favor her. That she benefits if there's a divorce....

Personally I do think there's honor in a woman that stayed with you forever. My grandparents were like that, but who am I to judge what their life was before.

It's a grim but realistic view, and one that at least guarantees a man stays on the safe side.

The irony is that in order to have a successful marriage a man must first be on the other side of the spectrum. E.g he gotta be a super player. A celebrity like type of man with an absolute abundance of women, so she knows there's plenty of competition for her.

This is again, only 5% of men, maybe less. Most men who pursue marriage do this for the wrong reasons. And even than I agree it's a matter of time before you'll lose frame. You'll become softer and she'll become rougher. A man craves stability while women crave uncertainty. At some point the table might turn , man let's his guard down and even lose his ability to pull new poosy. Then you are fecked anyway.

Constant stories of men whose wives started behaving when the man was getting attention from other women. Not a coincidence. You always have to stay on your game, even in marriage.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I specifically said looks don't matter because I've seen plenty of times that less attractive women tend to be good women, they are just overlooked by the majority of men. Similarly like the good but less attractive dude is overlooked by most women. One of my friends is rather unattractive, but I I wouldn't think twice to let him marry a woman close to me. He is the definition of a good but unattractive man, yet stil on a yearslong dryspell


I have a weakness for hot women( who doesn't?), but sometimes I look back at the women I rejected only to realize they were probably a better fit for me. As the years went by my bar lowered. 15 years ago a hb7/6 was a 7 /6 for a reason, right? Now I see the same type of woman she is suddenly a 7/8. Peace of mind is also something extremely valuable.

I do respect men who have a less attractive woman but have peace of mind. Maybe it's just me having some GIG syndrome.

I agree though, that the women who I viewed as lower SMV than me never got me rock hard. Was more like pity fecking them. But again, I sometimes wonder if this is someting that's off about me. Is life all about being rockhard? And is a rock hard D worth the rock hard head aches? I think alotta men would benefit from looking for GOOD woman rather than Bad byitches.

I want to add to this...I was on the same bench of lower value women being nicer. Until I ran into said women changing overnight into b*tches. In that case, would you rather have an ugly b*tch or a hot b*tch. If the b*tch s ugly, you are going to get grilled hard. At least if she's hot, people will frown less at her being one. They'll tell you to get her act together. With an ugly b*tch, they'll tell you to get away from her.

 

[Dr.Suave]

we warned you about her. This is not to say I told you so, but just to say that the red flags were obvious with her.

What were her red flags back then? Honest question. I cant remember.

 

[Dr.Suave]

life time carousel rider who magically "got it out of her system"

Yeah. I think I remeber bits of OP´s post back then. Just wanted to make sure that´s what you meant.

 

[Barrister]

life time carousel rider who magically "got it out of her system"

It is human nature to want to think you "struck gold." I am sure this girl is exciting and she is good looking. She sounds a lot like an ex of my own (although we were never married). Point being, even when you know better, if you are locked in on a girl it is very hard sometimes to listen to your own advice you have given to others and avoid something you know isn't advisable. I have myself been there more times than I care to admit when it comes to women.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

As long as we admit scarcity is a major driver, yes. My guess is this woman has histrionic personality disorder based on his description of her in that thread and her behavior here. Not everyone has dated one of those and I was remiss in pointing that out at the time as well because I was making all sorts of compromises myself.

Almost sounds like Carr and McDaniels, just replace scarcity with faith.

 

[Stanley]

As long as we admit scarcity is a major driver, yes. My guess is this woman has histrionic personality disorder based on his description of her in that thread and her behavior here. Not everyone has dated one of those and I was remiss in pointing that out at the time as well because I was making all sorts of compromises myself.

Getting stomped by a BPD, Cluster B or histrionic is a blessing in disguise I swear. I think every guy should experience that just to know how to avoid it and see the forest for the trees.

 

[Gamisch]

I think I know what you mean by "unpleasantly pleasant " but I'd like to hear you explain your definition.

For me it is someone who, during your low moments, is not swayed by your negativity and keeps a positive loving attitude when you feel completely unlovable....

This also.

I also mean the type of woman that sees you the first time and is head over heels, like it supposed to be. You just feck her because you are single and just for the sake of an extra notch . Then you find out she is willing to do everything for you. Cooking cleaning , driving, washing your clothes ect. Maybe she is not the hottest in the room ,little overweight ect. But she showers (and smothers) you with kindness and love.I bet we all had a few of those.

Ime women who feel you see them as lower SMV willl try to compensate for this by being a " good wifey ". Could be a great tactic to punch above your league, but this is extremely difficult for most of us, for me too.

It's a slippery slope though. I've had multiple women like this, and it always ends up with the woman crying that I am some type of azzhole, especially when it was like you described, when she tried to pull you through some hard times. Looking back at it I used the hotness = goodness formula, and it gave me tons of head and heart ache. Makes me wonder what would've happened if I kept some of the HB7's.

I want to add to this...I was on the same bench of lower value women being nicer. Until I ran into said women changing overnight into b*tches. In that case, would you rather have an ugly b*tch or a hot b*tch. If the b*tch s ugly, you are going to get grilled hard. At least if she's hot, people will frown less at her being one. They'll tell you to get her act together. With an ugly b*tch, they'll tell you to get away from her.

I feel you. One of those women I described above was one of my " eternal plates". I would feck her every now and then, just for fun. But once when I did had a dryspell and hit her up she immediately felt the dynamic was different. Now she was on her CC ride and told me to get in line basically. Extremely detrimental for the self esteem.

Women will be women at the end of the day. Doing squats and having a good body doesn't make her a better human, just more desirable. And that " just desirable " is a HUGE asset as we all know. Some men see a hot women and will say " marriage material " ,on first fecking sight. How is that even possible..

 

[HaleyBaron]

Some men see a hot women and will say " marriage material " ,on first fecking sight. How is that even possible..

It's mostly cause when you have a taste of something you never had before, your first thought is to lock her down cause you may never get a girl like that again. That is what I believe guys like that are thinking. Whereas for myself, I would be like "nice" and keep going cause it means I can get more.