She kicked me out of her house - enlighten me what went wrong

[Bokanovsky]

Apparently @TheGambino wasn't abusive enough for her.

Gambino, I hope you don't mind me chiming in but I've worked with abused women one-on-one and they and their abusive boyfriends/husbands have quite a toxic and powerful dynamic going on, which is why these women stay so long.

In your girl's case, 8 years, that is a long time!

She may say now she regrets but trust me, there was a powerful pull, an intoxicating attraction and sadly the abuse played a huge role in that.

Not that she enjoyed being abused, but she associated the abuse with power, his power, which kept her hooked in. For 8 years!

Now here you come along, a decent man, a non-abuser, and guess what?

She's bored, unstimulated, turned off. She gives it her best shot, but nothing can compare to the powerful emotions her abusive boyfriend elicited in her.

Even when logically she know it's fvcked up, but emotionally?

Try as she might, she just can't help herself.

These women are a certain type and my advice is stay away from them.

Once a new chick tells you she was in an abusive LTR, immediate dump.

Unless you're an abuser yourself, you will never measure up and by measure up I mean elicit or create the same emotional intensity she had with the abuser.

These women are sad. They know logically they should want a decent guy, but again try as she might, she can't force herself to feel it with a decent guy.

A relationship with a woman like this is her doing everything she can to create as much chaos and drama as she can in an attempt to re-create the drama she had with her abusive ex.

I'm glad you've decided to move on.

A lot of truth in this. Broken women are a lost cause. You can’t fix them by being good to them.

 

[bat soup]

I'm still trying to learn. I didn't want to post this because I know what to do and thats NC forever but I would prefer some feedback so I see where I went wrong for the next girl that is better then her and I actually see gf material in.

Been dating this girl for 3 months. All went great the first 2 months.
I did everything right. First date we made out, she basically started to pursue me 80% the first 2 months. She reached out all lovey dovey, after date 3 we hooked up. Cex was good. She starts to tell her puppies in her house that im daddy. She is trying to name our children already, making fun comments about that to test where I stand about that idea. She texts me everyday. She never flakes. She introduces me to her friends but she says that im very stiff and we have a small argument after 7 weeks of dating. At this point her interest level must be 90/100%. She even says she would do anything to be with me, change religion etc etc. I just play cool, aloof and chill all the time and enjoy it. She also wants to be exclusive and asks me to stop seeing other women. She comes over and during cex: I told her Im not going down on you, so she didn't want to blow me anymore that night. I just dont lick women, maybe my wife one day.

2 days later

Turning point day. She texts me if im downtown and she wants to see me. I just dont open the text because im in a bar looking for new plates and I dont want her around.
She comes in the bar by coincidence and she runs in me actually talking to a chick. She sees that after texting me where Im at. I ignore the girl im talking to and go to my main chick, kiss her and meet her. That evening we dance, laugh, and all. At a certain point a random dude I know from the gym passes us and looks at her and her friend and I see him looking very scary. I ask him whats up, he says I know the girls. The friend of my main chick demands me, asking me what his name is and I tell her I dont want to say it. My girl yells at me in front of them demanding me to answer her friend and I take her outside saying that I dont accept disrespect in a very calm and kind way. I kiss her goodbye and bail. That evening she also flirted with a guy in front of me and danced very quickly (3 seconds) with another guy who took her from me. But she was all over me, kissing me and grinding me all night.

Ok. She texts me that night and that morning that she wants to talk right now to defuse things. I say no, you disrepected me also talking to other guys, dancing with a guy and hugging a guy in front of me is unacceptable. I dont like her yelling also and that I need to think about things. She replies with ok and accusing me of sh*t also.

I ask her to meet up 4 days later, we meet and she goes on an emotional rage for 1.5 hours in my car. I mostly listen, dont argue and let her talk. She clearly doesnt like it that I try to control her is what she says. I just open her up and listen to a lot and sometimes I disagree or agree but I keep my full calmness.

Then I NC her for a week. I text her again to meet, we talk, have a good date and she gives me her cheek but then calls me again later that night. Next morning we text normally. Then my mom adds her on facebook ACCIDENTLY. I know this was a major f*ck up because she will feel smothered again. She calls me that evening, we talk and then after 30mins she goes in arguing again. How she doesnt know where things are going, how I ignore her, dont reach out to her, dont talk to her. She feels undervalued, she wants me to text her every morning and talk to her and that I put in hard work or its better that I dont contact her at all.

After this phone call I keep calm and relaxed and tell her. I also told her that I told my mom about her (2months later) and that my mom added her on accident, she told me, and thats the truth. But Im sure she felt smothered, after all that happened. I knew it. Hey I dont want a relationship true phone, if you want to meet up lets do it. She keeps me on read for 6 days. Then I text her on snapchat to meet up again.

She goes along with it with okay I think sunday or saturday. I say good if ur sure sunday, if ur not sure, nevermind. She says. Well nevermind then. I replie with Ok.

She then texts again a minute later that she wants to see me sunday and that I dont need to act so insecure.

Then yesterday she told me shes downtown going out for a little bit. I was going also but I hoped I wouldnt see her. Then I go to a random bar, I knew she could be there but its the best bar in town, its where I met her and where things went wrong also. I see her and talk to her. Hey nice to see you, hope your doing ok. We make small talk for a minute then she says im going back to my friend. I say ok no worries and I left the bar because I didnt want to see her that night. I said see u tommorow, I also felt distance. Two hours later she text me ''where are you'' I replie 2 hours later that im in another bar and heading home. She opens it but doesnt reply in the morning.

Remember, I am her type, she likes a guy like me, she is really attracted to me but what happened made her blow up. Also understand that she doesnt like her mother, that her mother runs her father. She told me that her mother and father are living together but lost love for eachtoher a long time ago. She also says that she hates her mother, because her mother always tries to control her and thinks shes a failure.

Then something happened I never ever experienced in my life.

She texts me hey my adress, im waiting for u, ring at number *

I go in her house, I bought her flowers for her new home. I thought I couldnt come empty handed, even I knew she feels smothered and controlled in her opinion. That what she said a week earlier.

She shows me around the appartment but I feel distance from her. She looks at me like shes still furious and mad. She tells me she lost 2.5 kg weight due moving to her new home. I try to keep the convo very chill and relaxed. I even hugg her at a point and she is open for that. I was just being sweet. I also noticed that she didnt look good, didnt do her hair so much and she felt very stressed disorientated, not relaxed and mad.

Then we watch a movie and shes 2 meters away from me on the couch. My plan was to talk for an hour or two then make a move towards affection but it will end differently. She asks me where I parked my car. I said on the private spots downstairs. She becomes mad and says that I cant put my car on her private parking spots from her neighbors and demands me to move my car. I say relax, there are 60 open spots, no one will notice. She gets mad again. I say calm down, there are 60 spots open chill out. She raises her voice demanding me to move the car right now. I say I dont think its the car thats the problem.

She says no its your behaviour thats the problem! You never do what I tell you, you talk about respect but you dont respect me, as a matter of fact just move your car and leave and dont come back!

I say calm down in a chill relaxing tone but she says no leave my house just go. I say I think its better that and she ends it ''that you dont ever contact me again''. I say lets not end it this way, lets calm down, talk it out and Ill be on my way. She says no, just leave. I grab my coat and bail.

I delete her from facebook, instagram and snapchat. This was yesterday evening...

Also I like to add to @jake_gyllenhaal list of red flags ''the age pill for men''.
She has 3 of your 4 qualities for a big red flag single sallie at 30 years old.

1. She has multiple dogs, 2.
2. She must be a alpha widow, Im not sure but I feel that. Every woman is at age of 30.
3. She doesnt do single girl group stuff like weekend trips to miami. NO ITS EVEN WORSE. She has a house with her best friend in Marbella in Spain where she goes to 6 times a year. I can assume what the ladies do there where the men with money come.
(she invited me over a month ago lol, at that point I ofc thought, I would never do that)

Also I think its over since she kicked me out. What do you guys think. Also I bet that her friends all bad mouth me.

Yes I am moving on, she wasnt gf material anyway. I just want to learn from this experience fellas for the next women.

You're always playing strange mind games with women and it always blows up in your face. Stop, already.

 

[TheGambino]

You're always playing strange mind games with women and it always blows up in your face. Stop, already.

Id like her to respect me No yelling, then we would be cool. She yelled in public in front of People thats where sh*t started. Fvck her let her yell at beta punks or her dogs like she does. Id rather fvck my hands and Embrace my maculinity then accepting disrespect for pvyssay.

 

[bat soup]

Id like her to respect me No yelling, then we would be cool. She yelled in public in front of People thats where sh*t started. Fvck her let her yell at beta punks or her dogs like she does. Id rather fvck my hands and Embrace my maculinity then accepting disrespect for pvyssay.

I get it. But if you want that then you´d have to choose women that are not psychos.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She clearly wanted exclusivity with you. You want to keep fvcking around. Rather than ignoring the whole situation, you should have talked it out. Ask her the right questions to get her cards on the table.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Id like her to respect me No yelling, then we would be cool. She yelled in public in front of People thats where sh*t started. Fvck her let her yell at beta punks or her dogs like she does. Id rather fvck my hands and Embrace my maculinity then accepting disrespect for pvyssay.

Honestly, you’re disrespecting her by treating her like a girlfriend yet that isn’t what you want.

 

[TheGambino]

Gambino, my read on this^ is she was attempting to elicit a reaction, perhaps even a violent reaction.

That's what I meant when I said a relationship with such woman is her doing everything she can to create drama and chaos.

To recreate the emotional and physical intensity she had with her abusive ex.

@catsmeow2 I forgot to mention a very disturbing thing to mention she said. This also strenghtens your theory about how she tried to provoke agression out of me for the thrill.

She clearly saw that I didnt bite on her yelling and demanding me to move my car. I stayed calm, collective and chill and looked at her in a relaxing way so she could chill out. Then her eyes became very big and she says:

Her:“Also your a big liar!”
Me: howcome?
Her: your father died in july you Told me last week. But you said he was on vacation, you liar!
Me: No, I never Told u that thats bullsh*t.
Her: yes u did u liar! I dont even know If you are honest If hes dead or not.
Me: I didnt have the need to tell u about that.
Doesnt matter Anyway just move ur car and leave my house now!

Me: ok Lets calm the fck out, i am leaving. I think Its better….
Her: to never contact me again.

Bailed out the house.

I didnt mention this, she clearly tried to hurt my feelings even mentioning the dead of my father I Told her a week ago when she saw that on my Facebook.

Now I am thinking back and Its more clear she tried to hurt me to provoke some kind of reaction. She was so mad that I argued and didnt want to do what she wanted again.

 

[Billtx49]

@catsmeow2 she clearly tried to hurt my feelings even mentioning the dead of my father

Yes, the argument wasn’t hot enough for her, so she emotionally escalated it…
Toxic behavior

 

[TheGambino]

Yes, the argument wasn’t hot enough for her, so she emotionally escalated it…
Toxic behavior

@Billtx49
I could understand that with or withou alcohol or drugs some weak guys would hit her. Guys that dont have much to lose so she can pity herself and play victim and demolis his feelings so she has control over his emotions and hers run crazy also.

Gladly for me I am a 100% on control of my emotions and I can chose to become angry or stay calm. Im centered. I am so happy that I can get away now, imagine If u make a girl like this pregnant jeez, what a nightmare. I lost Total interest after analyzing her with u Guys help. I feel sorry for her to be honest. She looks so Sad now in my eyes and I lost all attraction that was left. I am not jealous of the guy she is probably fvcking but I feel sorry for him.

Now i also understand why her ex abused her, If she was like that with him, she provoked it and hè was a weak incel.

 

[TheGambino]

@Billtx49 @catsmeow2 @bat soup @EyeOnThePrize @Bokanovsky and all the other bros

I ran into her today, wtf. What does this mean?

So we are in no contact after the heated argument in her house and her kicking me out for almost 3 weeks. I found out she blocked me on whatsapp or deleted my number, cant see her profile pic. I unfriended her from all social medias.

I went to the bar we first met 4 months ago. We dated for 3 months. Like I said after 2 months she wanted children with me and all that but when she yelled at me all went south when I manplained her.

A guy I know from a birthday party earlier came to me and we talked. I know he knows the OP girl and I know he dated her friend for a while. So I ask him do you still see her ? (friend of my girl) He says yes, your girl and my girl are actually on their way here right now.

So he says please wingman me and he stays around me. I tell him I don't talk to her too much anymore and that we didnt get along anymore and we dont talk. Anyway she comes in with 2 (girl) friends and she spots me and I spot her. She then walks in front of me with her best friend. Both of her best friends that all know every detail of what happened between us pass me and smile cute, kind and nice to me. They both greeted me niceley. My OP girl walks past me, if looks could kill. All with her nose in the sky, all mad asfck not looking in my eyes. I just ignore it, smile, dance and have a good time.

Later on she passes me and I say ''hey'' and touch her, she ignores me. Her best friend walked in front of her and smiles to me. Then 20 minutes later she passes again and I say ''hey, we dont have to be fighting'' I see her saying to her friend what I said and she ignores me again. I thought Ill make a little bridge by breaking NC in real life, it was effortless she walked pass me in front of me 3 times that evening, I only had to say something and I wanted to be a gentleman have small talk but she clearly is still MAD as f*ck.

I think f8ck it and I seduce a girl with her friend who dances with me all night. Her friend saw us, OP girl maybe saw us too but im not sure. Anyway I dont see her anymore that evening.

Then! I walk outside the bar and bump into her again with all her friends (the whole group, 3 girls and the guy I know from the party). A little akward but look what happens. By chance!

OP girl and her friend talk to a guy and 2 girls right in front of me and the girl I was dancing with all evening passed me, hugged me and we kiss eachother 5/6 times on the cheek and once on mouth right in front of OP girl. I see her looking disgusted in my direction. My luck is dancing kiss hugg girl is a HB9, young, tall and hot. Way better then OP girl.

Se keeps checking me out and I bail with my friend.

How did I handle the evening? What are chances that she will come back? What do you think of her behavior? Has she lost interest or still playing games?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Off the top of my head OP, I"d avoid this bar for the time being.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@Billtx49 @catsmeow2 @bat soup @EyeOnThePrize @Bokanovsky and all the other bros

I ran into her today, wtf. What does this mean?

So we are in no contact after the heated argument in her house and her kicking me out for almost 3 weeks. I found out she blocked me on whatsapp or deleted my number, cant see her profile pic. I unfriended her from all social medias.

I went to the bar we first met 4 months ago. We dated for 3 months. Like I said after 2 months she wanted children with me and all that but when she yelled at me all went south when I manplained her.

A guy I know from a birthday party earlier came to me and we talked. I know he knows the OP girl and I know he dated her friend for a while. So I ask him do you still see her ? (friend of my girl) He says yes, your girl and my girl are actually on their way here right now.

So he says please wingman me and he stays around me. I tell him I don't talk to her too much anymore and that we didnt get along anymore and we dont talk. Anyway she comes in with 2 (girl) friends and she spots me and I spot her. She then walks in front of me with her best friend. Both of her best friends that all know every detail of what happened between us pass me and smile cute, kind and nice to me. They both greeted me niceley. My OP girl walks past me, if looks could kill. All with her nose in the sky, all mad asfck not looking in my eyes. I just ignore it, smile, dance and have a good time.

Later on she passes me and I say ''hey'' and touch her, she ignores me. Her best friend walked in front of her and smiles to me. Then 20 minutes later she passes again and I say ''hey, we dont have to be fighting'' I see her saying to her friend what I said and she ignores me again. I thought Ill make a little bridge by breaking NC in real life, it was effortless she walked pass me in front of me 3 times that evening, I only had to say something and I wanted to be a gentleman have small talk but she clearly is still MAD as f*ck.

I think f8ck it and I seduce a girl with her friend who dances with me all night. Her friend saw us, OP girl maybe saw us too but im not sure. Anyway I dont see her anymore that evening.

Then! I walk outside the bar and bump into her again with all her friends (the whole group, 3 girls and the guy I know from the party). A little akward but look what happens. By chance!

OP girl and her friend talk to a guy and 2 girls right in front of me and the girl I was dancing with all evening passed me, hugged me and we kiss eachother 5/6 times on the cheek and once on mouth right in front of OP girl. I see her looking disgusted in my direction. My luck is dancing kiss hugg girl is a HB9, young, tall and hot. Way better then OP girl.

Se keeps checking me out and I bail with my friend.

How did I handle the evening? What are chances that she will come back? What do you think of her behavior? Has she lost interest or still playing games?

I really don't think you can be helped man

 

[TheGambino]

Off the top of my head OP, I"d avoid this bar for the time being.

Why? Be specific please. @BillyPilgrim

 

[TheGambino]

I really don't think you can be helped man

Thats not what Im asking. Please if your making such comments, be clear. Cex was good with OP girl, If I could FwB it.
At least Im out there living bro.

 

[Gamisch]

Thats not what Im asking. Please if your making such comments, be clear. Cex was good with OP girl, If I could FwB it.
At least Im out there living bro.

You ain't living, you are dying inside. That why he replied you cannot be helped.

You should've walked away many many times. The fact you consider this girl as a fwb or whatever shows how desperate you are for pssy.

You are the equivalent of a woman who "loves " this thug who beats her face to pulp, steals her money cheats on her ect but yet she "just cannot leave him ".

I've read noth your post about this girl and man.ets just day I oral for you you dont impregnate her and be stuck with her for ever.

Put your eyes back into your socket and see the hugger picture

 

[bat soup]

Off the top of my head OP, I"d avoid this bar for the time being.

Yes, I agree, avoid her and avoid places she hangs out for a while. She's not trying to get back with you, she's trying to create drama and manipulate you into chasing her. If you do see her around just ignore her.

 

[bat soup]

Thats not what Im asking. Please if your making such comments, be clear. Cex was good with OP girl, If I could FwB it.
At least Im out there living bro.

The moderation on this site can't be helped, unfortunately. In my opinion, you can be a troll or a moderator but you shouldn't be both.

 

[TheGambino]

Yes, I agree, avoid her and avoid places she hangs out for a while. She's not trying to get back with you, she's trying to create drama and manipulate you into chasing her. If you do see her around just ignore her.

@bat soup

Why does she want me to chase? So it gets on her terms and she can decide?

Why would I avoid that bar?

I will never ever text or call her ever.
I was already planning on ignoring her in real life aswell now.

 

[bat soup]

@bat soup

Why does she want me to chase? So it gets on her terms and she can decide?

Why would I avoid that bar?

I will never ever text or call her ever.
I was already planning on ignoring her in real life aswell now.

Women love attention. She probably wants you to chase so that she can reject you and give you a big kick in the balls whilst she cackles about it to her friends

 

[TheGambino]

@catsmeow2

Thanks again brother.

If she is still looking for validation it means she cares. It’s clear she is fvcked up, no good and is looking to drag me down with her.

“I don't think they warrant repeating, it's obvious what her game is”

What does this mean? Please be clear.

I am in the field, trying to date other women. Moving on.