Seemingly every avenue to meet single women is completely dominated in numbers by men. What am I supposed to do?

[Hamurabimbi]

Women do love attention....from men they find attractive. If not, they abhor it. Just like guys...but much more so bc they get it so often. If you're hitting of a chick at work you'd better be pretty high tier. If you look like Harry Styles or something you're all set. If not? Lol.

‘Harry Styles’? Is he considered handsome? LOL I facemog him to Alpha Centauri. I guess that’s why I can date girls at work. Don Draper (Jon Hamm) from MadMen. Now that guy is a Chad and he mogs me!

 

[thelambofdeth]

‘Harry Styles’? Is he considered handsome? LOL I facemog him to Alpha Centauri. I guess that’s why I can date girls at work. Don Draper (Jon Hamm) from MadMen. Now that guy is a Chad and he mogs me!

Lol whatever you say, mate.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

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[ubercat]

It is a real problem because of the picking the garbage effect. Women are here to breed. So of course most decent chicks are taken. Day game is essential. I know married people who met in the street. Lightweight self development can be good. Book clubs, cooking classes, make your own essential oils etc. If you do go to women dominated places you d better be ready to match their communication style. First rapport then show your edge

 

[ubercat]

It just comes across as unique that you say that dating western women is easy, but you just prefer Asian women. I’ve never come across that before. If that’s the case then I dunno why it triggers you. If your preference is Asian, and it’s coming from a place of abundance and not scarcity, then more power to you.

I’m not saying you’re lying. It’s just an unusual path you’ve taken. Most guys turn to Asian women out of scarcity.

Same experience as Fruitbat had plenty of western women. Did ok on OLD no stunners but plenty of 6s and 7s. And no fatties. Found the Asian girls were a better deal so I took it. I ve got 2 mates same thing. Six figure salaries no scarcity married Asians. I think your assumptions are out of date.

 

[Plinco]

Go on a dating app - 90% male

Any Meetup or local group that I’ve tried - over 90% male

Go to a bar - overflowing with guys

Even tried treating myself at a coffee shop - every table in the building was occupied by one male

You see where I’m going with this. I can’t seem to go anywhere to interact with single women that isn’t absolutely swarming with desperate, lonely, and overly aggressive dudes. And I now live in a city that is supposed to have way more women than men. It just doesn’t make sense, and to be honest, it’s really starting to get under my skin. I want to get back into dating, but there’s no realistic way to do this with these kinds of crazy gender ratios. I wholeheartedly believe in what I have to offer, but I need a chance to be able to show that.

Have other people had this experience?

Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with this?

College campuses and malls are much better places to be.

You have to be better than all of the other guys out there. Being in the top 50% is easy since many dudes out there are porn and video game addicted messes with no game. Being in the top 10% is really hard.

 

[Fruitbat]

It just comes across as unique that you say that dating western women is easy, but you just prefer Asian women. I’ve never come across that before. If that’s the case then I dunno why it triggers you. If your preference is Asian, and it’s coming from a place of abundance and not scarcity, then more power to you.

I’m not saying you’re lying. It’s just an unusual path you’ve taken. Most guys turn to Asian women out of scarcity.

Also, I never said that you needed XYZ to be successful. Game is all that’s needed and I’ve always maintained that. To a point looks/money/status doesn’t matter if you’ve got game. But it’s only to a point - you can’t look like absolute sh1t and be homeless.

Being totally honest:

- I had abundance but not with the women I wanted.

- Dating asian meant I could get better. Pro rata.

- I most certainly was not dating women her age and appearance. I was, however, dating women nearer to my age who were reasonably dateable. Not brilliant but not hogs.

So we are both right or both wrong. It’s not like I wasn’t dating anyone, I just went up a league when I met my wife.

my wife as a masters, 2 degrees and is reasonably independently wealthy. She works in law and now runs her own business.

She doesn’t want to live in this country. She wants me to move to hers. She isn’t interested in staying here, so I can certainly say it isn’t just to get green card.

i have gathered that even though she could have dated chads, asian women don’t like chads. They are socially conditioned not to be 403s. They want a banker as a husband who will stick to them. Not a dude who’s off screwing other women.

So in a way, it’s the fact my SMV isn’t high which makes me attractive in some ways. The other aspects - like level headedness and career, goals etc, are very high value for an Asian.

in her culture, men who are virgins are high value. They have a totally different system to us.

I believe the “Asians are a low value cop out for beta fat westerners” is partly a western feminist myth. They don’t want their men finding out the truth.

the only lie I’m annoyed about is the idea they are subservient. My wife is anything but.
However, all the important things: regular sechs, not spending silly amounts of money, saving, family, not sleeping around are solid.

I have always liked Asian women and would have chosen one years ago, I just never met one. There aren’t that many in U.K., at least there never were until recently

 

[ubercat]

And Pan mate it really was about the better deal not yellow fever. Although if I changed back I d probably wonder why the chick is so big.

I ve happily dated EE women too and certainly would try Latinas if I knew where to find any in Melbourne.

 

[Fruitbat]

And Pan mate it really was about the better deal not yellow fever. Although if I changed back I d probably wonder why the chick is so big.

I ve happily dated EE women too and certainly would try Latinas if I knew where to find any in Melbourne.

….to add to this: foreign chicks are intriguing. You always have new things to learn. You get to travel.

Nothing would bore me more than a chick round the corner who knows all the same people, went to the same school and we would likely die in the same place we were born.

plus, @Pan87 is right, the western entitlement is an issue. I had women on dates do the following:

one I met in London. She was an exec. We got smashed and she bought me my last drink and was at the bar alone with it for too long. Later that night I got a boner which wouldn’t go down. I am 100% convinced she put 200mg viagra in there.

it’s not like im upset about it, in a way it was a good shout, but it’s just a bit “meh” that it’s that important to her to get railed.

Another girl just talked about all her “gay friends” and her Reddit activies. Urgh.

Another got super p1ssed I thought womens football was not worth watching and spent a weekend trying to convince me I was a misogynist because I didn’t watch women’s sports.

another who ran from her husband (who seemed a decent guy) and got a big divorce payout and with a straight face started telling me about how with her new business she was independent from her own work etc.

Then I met my wife who was like “I’ve had 4 boyfriends. Basically I want us to be wealthy together and have a family. I don’t really know what feminism is, but my mother runs a successful business. Is that feminism?”

actually, it kind of is REAL feminism, not the “world owes me something” kind

 

[Murk]

Social circle was good in my 20s but I became known and my friends girlfriends never wanted me near their friends after a few go arounds.

Family social circle is also good, like your cousins wife’s sisters etc, however I already have a reputation so I’ve burned all my bridges.

 

[MtmVaott]

Im willing to bet you have no social networks to meet women through. And when i say social networks, im not talking about the stuff that guys parrot on the internet for you to "do". Im talking about the way people actually meet - acquaintances who simply invite their male and female acquaintances to social gatherings, you being one of those invited.

Am i right?

As I'm interested in building up a social circle/network:
How do I get one? How do I start from scratch? Is it like a snowballing system, i.e. one acquaintance leads to 2 others and so on? What are these "gatherings"? Parties?
Sorry for these basic questions, I have to admit my social development was stalled during teenager phase and I guess that is exactly when you learn this kind of stuff...

 

[AttackFormation]

As I'm interested in building up a social circle/network:
How do I get one? How do I start from scratch? Is it like a snowballing system, i.e. one acquaintance leads to 2 others and so on? What are these "gatherings"? Parties?
Sorry for these basic questions, I have to admit my social development was stalled during teenager phase and I guess that is exactly when you learn this kind of stuff...

I dont have any social network either so cant personally help you with that haha

 

[ubercat]

As I'm interested in building up a social circle/network:
How do I get one? How do I start from scratch? Is it like a snowballing system, i.e. one acquaintance leads to 2 others and so on? What are these "gatherings"? Parties?
Sorry for these basic questions, I have to admit my social development was stalled during teenager phase and I guess that is exactly when you learn this kind of stuff...

Mate there s a gazillion threads on that here. Use the search function and if you're serious come back with specific questions.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Social circle was good in my 20s but I became known and my friends girlfriends never wanted me near their friends after a few go arounds.

Family social circle is also good, like your cousins wife’s sisters etc, however I already have a reputation so I’ve burned all my bridges.

That is the power of the circle - it keeps Chad in check and tries to prevent heart ache within its ranks. Good for longterm, bad for short term.

It's hard to find social circles that promote promiscuity. I don't think they exist because it is unstable.

 

[Bokanovsky]

You're definitely hunting in all the wrong places. Meetup is shiit. Dating apps are shiit.

Dance and fitness classes are often majority female. That's a start. There are fashion and art events that @Solomon frequents. Those are mostly female. You could daygame the streets and parks.

The problem is that the average heterosexual male would really have to push himself to attend a dance class or a fashion/art event. It's kind of like a woman going to a wrestling match or a monster truck race to meet men. The difficulty is finding events that are attended by heterosexual women where you wouldn't feel entirely out of your element and/or bored to death. Going to events that you have zero genuine interest in for the sole purpose of meeting girls rarely works.

 

[SW15]

The difficulty is finding events that are attended by heterosexual women where you wouldn't feel entirely out of your element and/or bored to death. Going to events that you have zero genuine interest in for the sole purpose of meeting girls rarely works.

Agree with the zero genuine interest part. Plenty of men show up to events for better than average ratios.

The classic examples of this are yoga and Pilates classes. I've been to yoga and it definitely wasn't a match for me. Pretty much every guy at a yoga class is there for approaching. I found other fitness class formats more acceptable. I liked the interval training/bootcamp type formats, which had similar ratios to yoga and Pilates. However, even with the great ratios, fitness classes aren't easy places to score dates/bangs. Women are rarely sociable even in the 5 minutes before and after class. I have found that to be the case in multiple venues. You're giving up 45-60 minutes for those two, 5 minute windows. There also aren't a lot of women socializing with other women in those classes for platonic friendships. I have gotten numbers and dates from fitness classes before but not nearly in the quantity that would be expected given the ratio advantage.

The problem is that the average heterosexual male would really have to push himself to attend a dance class or a fashion/art event.

I've attended both dance classes and fitness events at various points over the years, but not in many years. I attended some art events when I moved to a new city as a new college graduate when I was 22. The problem with that is that I was 22 and almost every other attendee was 40+. That didn't last for long. I've done a couple of short attempts at salsa dancing lessons and never got any dates out of them. I was unimpressed with the attendees too. I think salsa dancing lessons might be a loss leader type event. You might do salsa dancing lessons to get good enough to seduce at nightclubs with salsa dancing. Same would be true of country dancing/two-step, which I never tried.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Around here doing salsa, merengue, mambo, bachata is a key differentiator. Dress well, don’t be a creep, be funny and engaging AND WOMEN WILL ASK YOU OUT.

Also ita a súper social event, the women get to observe you dancing and interacting with other people and meet you in a non-threatening environment, then you dance with them - which is not an issue - you simply will not get turned down. If youre good again your dance card is full.

I’ve had two women ask me to go dance with both of them for hours - trust me even if you are not their normal type one can get tired and can home and if the remaining one is up your alley you can escalate. Or you get the DHV of being with two women, hopefully attractive ones, which makes new approaches even easier.

 

[zekko]

The answer is my "service sector game" post. This and day game worked for me, not even social circles.

Any idea where this thread is or what it's called? The topic sounds interesting to me. I searched for "service sector game" under your name, and I couldn't find it.

 

[zekko]

Service Industry Game

1. Choose a bar that has bartenders of similar age. Patrons don't matter. 2. The bar should have a high frequency of travelers coming and going, not just a glorified clique. 3. Become a regular at the bar and make friends with the bartenders. Tip 25%. 4. Ask questions about local nightlife...

www.sosuave.net

Okay thanks. Now that I see it, I remember reading it. Solid thread.

 

[oc16]

Go on a dating app - 90% male

Any Meetup or local group that I’ve tried - over 90% male

Go to a bar - overflowing with guys

Even tried treating myself at a coffee shop - every table in the building was occupied by one male

You see where I’m going with this. I can’t seem to go anywhere to interact with single women that isn’t absolutely swarming with desperate, lonely, and overly aggressive dudes. And I now live in a city that is supposed to have way more women than men. It just doesn’t make sense, and to be honest, it’s really starting to get under my skin. I want to get back into dating, but there’s no realistic way to do this with these kinds of crazy gender ratios. I wholeheartedly believe in what I have to offer, but I need a chance to be able to show that.

Have other people had this experience?

Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with this?

Funny, I live in Central Jersey and there is one meetup group that I have been to a few times. It is one of the more active groups that isn't located in NYC or Philadelphia.

Anyhow, they have a monthly meet and greet at the bar once in a while and these I usually attend.

@Zimbabwe .... just like you say......the ratio is about 3 to 1 men. Tonight, there were approximately 30 people in attendance and maybe 10 of those were women. Of those 10 women, only 5 of them are attractive. You have 20 males vying for the attention of 5 females, so the odds are quite horrible. I will continue going to meet some nice people, just won't have my expectations high to meet a woman.

The night before I took an interactive cooking class through the parks system. There were eight of us.......5 women and three guys (including me), but only one woman was in her 30's and cute.

Again, I am glad I went since the class was interesting but these meetup.com groups and other interactive activities are not very good for meeting women.

I guess the only odds that are in your favor are Yoga and Ball Room and Salsa dancing classes, but I refuse to take a class I have zero interest in just to meet more women.