To text a girl after a first date or not

[StacksHitEmUp]

You guys are way too afraid to lose women.

An interested gal does not forget you in a week.

Exactly. And an interested girl will reach out to you if you don’t, hence waiting is good to see their interest level. I quite frankly don’t mess around with low to medium interest women. Not texting them helps me weed them out. I might shoot a text somewhere in the future if they don’t reach out to me but from personal experience I know high interest women will always end up reaching out.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Well to give some context, I had sex with a girl Sat night. We met at a club and talked for a few hours, had lots of drinks, then danced for the last hour. She came to my place and we banged twice and she stayed the night. Next day she stayed until late afternoon, we banged again, and she was super into me the whole time.

Hasn't texted me since then. She was pretty shy, and certainly not assertive at all. I figured I would text her since I had always assumed some girls don't take the intitiative no matter what. But I'll still wait it out a while longer. A simple "hey, had a good time" or a short phone call certainly isn't too much to ask is it?

I also had sex with a different girl on Wednesday night last week. She was young Christian chick with a smoking hot body. The date went good, but the sex was a hot mess, without getting into details. I didn't bother texting her either, and it's been almost a week now. I assume she wasn't too interested.

In the mean time I am trying to arrange other dates as per usual. On some level I don't even care, I made this topic more as a general question; I want to do whatever I can to stack the odds in my favor, because my text game just sucks.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Hasn't texted me since then. She was pretty shy, and certainly not assertive at all. I figured I would text her since I had always assumed some girls don't take the intitiative no matter what. But I'll still wait it out a while longer. A simple "hey, had a good time" or a short phone call certainly isn't too much to ask is it?

See what you are doing here?

This is you wanting validation and affirmation that she likes you and liked the sex. She is supposed to be the one worrying about this!! In the bigger picture, a week really isn’t that long. But you are panicking after just a couple days.

What if she never reaches out? You call her after it has been 5-9 days. See how that works…

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

See what you are doing here?

This is you wanting validation and affirmation that she likes you and liked the sex. She is supposed to be the one worrying about this!! In the bigger picture, a week really isn’t that long. But you are panicking after just a couple days.

What if she never reaches out? You call her after it has been 5-9 days. See how that works…

I'm not panicking/worrying. I have other leads already. I will continue to wait it out, just like I did with the other girl (who I suppose I could probably text/call but meh).

I am concerned more with the overall process, and not continually shooting myself in the foot over dumb texting mistakes. I don't mind waiting this one out a bit.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I text.

 

[Striker_93]

Well to give some context, I had sex with a girl Sat night. We met at a club and talked for a few hours, had lots of drinks, then danced for the last hour. She came to my place and we banged twice and she stayed the night. Next day she stayed until late afternoon, we banged again, and she was super into me the whole time.

Hasn't texted me since then. She was pretty shy, and certainly not assertive at all. I figured I would text her since I had always assumed some girls don't take the intitiative no matter what. But I'll still wait it out a while longer. A simple.

Bruh, why is this such a big thing for you?

Stop being a pvssy(Nothing personal, tough love) and call the damn girl!

I couldn't imagine sitting around as a grown ass man hesitating and wondering if i should contact a woman, actually following some 5-9 day rule lol it would bruise my own ego.

Stop using excuses and call her, its seriously not a big deal.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Bruh, why is this such a big thing for you?

Stop being a pvssy(Nothing personal, tough love) and call the damn girl!

I couldn't imagine sitting around as a grown ass man hesitating and wondering if i should contact a woman, actually following some 5-9 day rule lol it would bruise my own ego.

Stop using excuses and call her, its seriously not a big deal.

You're making this out to be a bigger deal than I am. Like I said....I'm not fretting over this, I have other things going on my life that I'm much more concerned with at the moment (including other women).

The issue is that I have no gut instinct in regards to phone communication protocols, and I've absolutely lost out on opportunities due to over-communicating or under-communicating (usually the latter, actually). So this whole thing is just a paradigm shift for me.

I'm not sitting here thinking "what should I do!?"... I only talked about my last date to give people an idea where I'm coming from, I'm not invested in the outcome of any particular girl. I am reconsidering this whole process, trying to get as many opinions as I can. My game over phones has always been my biggest weakness.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You're making this out to be a bigger deal than I am. Like I said....I'm not fretting over this, I have other things going on my life that I'm much more concerned with at the moment (including other women).

The issue is that I have no gut instinct in regards to texting protocols, and I've absolutely lost out on opportunities due to over-communicating or under-communicating (usually the latter, actually). So this whole thing is just a paradigm shift for me.

I'm not sitting here thinking "what should I do!?"... I only talked about my last date to give people an idea where I'm coming from, I'm not invested in the outcome of any particular girl. I am reconsidering this whole process, trying to get as many opinions as I can. My game over phones has always been my biggest weakness.

The answer:

Can she suck your dvck over the phone?

Exactly. Put the phone down and get her in real time.

 

[Konada]

You're making this out to be a bigger deal than I am. Like I said....I'm not fretting over this, I have other things going on my life that I'm much more concerned with at the moment (including other women).

The issue is that I have no gut instinct in regards to phone communication protocols, and I've absolutely lost out on opportunities due to over-communicating or under-communicating (usually the latter, actually). So this whole thing is just a paradigm shift for me.

I'm not sitting here thinking "what should I do!?"... I only talked about my last date to give people an idea where I'm coming from, I'm not invested in the outcome of any particular girl. I am reconsidering this whole process, trying to get as many opinions as I can. My game over phones has always been my biggest weakness.

After you fvck a woman she is most of the time in a vulnerable state. It doesn't hurt to send her a text that you enjoyed your time last night to build some comfort and not make her feel used. Then, set up the next bang when you feel like it.

This is advice that @guru1000 gave me.

 

[VirtuousD]

Interesting thread.

If we're keeping it real, the first date is more of a shyt test for the man than the girl. Unless she does/says something very stupid or looks massively different from her pics (if met online) then the chick ain't got much to worry about in terms of the dude wanting a second date. So in theory most women have no reason to avoid reaching out to the dude shortly after the date to inspire the dude to pursue another one if they're interested in seeing him again.

On the flip side for us it's much more complex since we don't truly know why they agreed to the date in the first place. Could have just been for the free meal for all we know.

The dude initiates the first date, books the venue if applicable and pays for the activity/meal. Really shows a lack of courtesy if they don't at least drop a text to say thank you or signal that they enjoyed it after someone has done all that legwork for you. I can't think of any reasonable excuse for why a chick wouldn't be thoughtful enough to reach out and drop a message shortly after the date. Failure to do that shows a lack of manners imo.

Come to think of it i've always gotten the ole ' i saw no sparks' bs every time i reached out one of them even apologised and told me that she was to chicken to say it which suggests that most women would reach out if they were interested and just go silent (or unmatch with you on the app) since it's easier to do.

If the chick is a serious catch and ticks all the right boxes (relationship wise) then i may bend this rule but for a typical modern woman I'm gonna need the levels of interest to be at a certain threshold to peruse her beyond first date stage to aviod more time and money wasting. A woman going silent after a dude invited them out speaks volumes.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

IMHO if it was a FNL and you want more, a late morning next day short text is ok, her hamster spun from 6am until you texted and that’s enough to be effective.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The balance is she has a phone too. She can use it.

I've found that if she really likes you it will almost always be under 24 hours until you hear from her after the first date.