A Question for the Older Players Here

[Zimbabwe]

I was having a Conversation with my father this morning, he mentioned that today's men have it much easier when it comes to dating and That i have no excuse not to be bringing home a new girl every week.

He said back in the day they didn't have smartphones so they had to memorise girls numbers and when they called them up it was a 50/50 gamble on wether or not their father would be the one to pick up. He said he always had to think fast and get the fathers permission to ask his daughter out.

He mentioned that with online dating it should be super easy for men today, my father hasn't dated for a while since he hot married in the 80s.

I'm just wondering if the older players here can shed some light, was it really harder back then or the same or easier?

 

[joesbigship]

Guys didn't even have access to pen and paper back in the day? Sounds more like the jurassic era instead of the 20th century.

Phones only worked after 5 PM when parents got home and you couldn't call at 3 or 4 in the afternoon when they weren't?

You couldn't talk to a girl before, during or after school?

 

[Billtx49]

I was having a Conversation with my father this morning, he mentioned that today's men have it much easier when it comes to dating and That i have no excuse not to be bringing home a new girl every week.

He said back in the day they didn't have smartphones so they had to memorise girls numbers and when they called them up it was a 50/50 gamble on wether or not their father would be the one to pick up. He said he always had to think fast and get the fathers permission to ask his daughter out.

He mentioned that with online dating it should be super easy for men today, my father hasn't dated for a while since he hot married in the 80s.

I'm just wondering if the older players here can shed some light, was it really harder back then or the same or easier?

Well, biology and mating desire haven’t changed since his day. Contact methods are easier, but society is also more mobile, and social circles are more digital and easier also because of instant gratification.
It’s changed some, but not enough to say it’s entirely different now, but I would actually call it easier also.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Well, biology and mating desire haven’t changed since his day. Contact methods are easier, but society is also more mobile, and social circles are more digital and easier also.
It’s changed some, but not enough to say it’s entirely different now.

I'm just bringing this up since a lot of people say Covid made things like OLD harder, but it wasn't exactly any easier before.

Maybe people look at the past with rose tinted glasses.

Guys didn't even have access to pen and paper back in the day? Sounds more like the jurassic era instead of the 20th century.

Phones only worked after 5 PM when parents got home and you couldn't call at 3 or 4 in the afternoon when they weren't?

You couldn't talk to a girl before, during or after school?

You walked around the nightclub with a pen and paper?

 

[Plinco]

I was having a Conversation with my father this morning, he mentioned that today's men have it much easier when it comes to dating and That i have no excuse not to be bringing home a new girl every week.

He said back in the day they didn't have smartphones so they had to memorise girls numbers and when they called them up it was a 50/50 gamble on wether or not their father would be the one to pick up. He said he always had to think fast and get the fathers permission to ask his daughter out.

He mentioned that with online dating it should be super easy for men today, my father hasn't dated for a while since he hot married in the 80s.

I'm just wondering if the older players here can shed some light, was it really harder back then or the same or easier?

I was active on the scene when I was in high school back in the early 2000's, before the social media days. It's honestly like comparing apples and oranges. People were more common sense oriented back then. I would say that openness is about the same, with some exceptions. Memorizing someone's phone number was natural believe or not, so that was not a big deal.

Overall I would say that things were better 20 years ago for two reasons: 1.) no social media, and almost everyone had basic social skills, 2.) I think people were happier then compared to today.

I live in the USA, which might be different than Australia.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I was active on the scene when I was in high school back in the early 2000's, before the social media days. It's honestly like comparing apples and oranges. People were more common sense oriented back then. I would say that openness is about the same, with some exceptions. Memorizing someone's phone number was natural believe or not, so that was not a big deal.

Overall I would say that things were better 20 years ago for two reasons: 1.) no social media, and almost everyone had basic social skills, 2.) I think people were happier then compared to today.

I live in the USA, which might be different than Australia.

The phone number one is big, people my age don't even know their own number at all. It's hard for me to even imagine a world without social media since i grew up with it.

But i do agree that social media has killed peoples social skills, I'm amazed at how insular people have become.

So many older folk i talk to mention how their children just lock themselves in their rooms all day everyday.

 

[2Rocky]

So I got married before cell phones. I came back into the market little over 6 years ago. Used Tinder a couple times with success. Social media sure was a good research tool, and helped me build MY image and expand my social circle. I think the fact that SO MANY of these girls have big IG accounts just makes guys thirstier because they have access to communicating with more attractive women than we ever did when you didn't have a giant digital catalog. In turn guys think that they are entitled to these women's attention. Because there are so many!

My metro area in a 20 mile radius in my 20's was probably 250,000 people. And you had to be where the attractive girls were to have access to them. Now I can see a picture of a hot chick and send her a message. Do you know how incredible that is? it is an embarassment of riches.

....And the sheer accessibility has completely devalued the intimacy of having a phone number or way to communicate, and the way people communicate shows a lack of respect for the language. Yes I text in complete sentences. And I express myself pretty good...it seemed to work...

 

[Plinco]

The phone number one is big, people my age don't even know their own number at all. It's hard for me to even imagine a world without social media since i grew up with it.

But i do agree that social media has killed peoples social skills, I'm amazed at how insular people have become.

So many older folk i talk to mention how their children just lock themselves in their rooms all day everyday.

Everyone used to memorize phone numbers of their family and closest friends. That ended around the mid-2000s with cell phones becoming wide spread. I remember calling a girlfriend I had in 2001 on a land line, and asking her mom or step dad to give her the phone.

As far as the social skills go, your generation is a disaster. Prior to the 2010's you could have a solid conversation and make solid eye contact with a girl, unless she was really introverted. Even then if you got to know her, she would open up and would sustain a conversation. Today I've noticed a lot of younger people not being able to sustain eye contact.

 

[Plinco]

Oh and here's another one for you. When I was in middle and high school, girls used to pass notes around if they wanted to communicate silently haha. If a girl liked you, she would hand you a folded up piece of paper with paragraphs and her phone number.

 

[Zimbabwe]

So I got married before cell phones. I came back into the market little over 6 years ago. Used Tinder a couple times with success. Social media sure was a good research tool, and helped me build MY image and expand my social circle. I think the fact that SO MANY of these girls have big IG accounts just makes guys thirstier because they have access to communicating with more attractive women than we ever did when you didn't have a giant digital catalog. In turn guys think that they are entitled to these women's attention. Because there are so many!

My metro area in a 20 mile radius in my 20's was probably 250,000 people. And you had to be where the attractive girls were to have access to them. Now I can see a picture of a hot chick and send her a message. Do you know how incredible that is? it is an embarassment of riches.

....And the sheer accessibility has completely devalued the intimacy of having a phone number or way to communicate, and the way people communicate shows a lack of respect for the language. Yes I text in complete sentences. And I express myself pretty good...it seemed to work...

So basically making things easier made the barrier of entry lower thus making men worse in the long run?

Everyone used to memorize phone numbers of their family and closest friends. That ended around the mid-2000s with cell phones becoming wide spread. I remember calling a girlfriend I had in 2001 on a land line, and asking her mom or step dad to give her the phone.

As far as the social skills go, your generation is a disaster. Prior to the 2010's you could have a solid conversation and make solid eye contact with a girl, unless she was really introverted. Even then if you got to know her, she would open up and would sustain a conversation. Today I've noticed a lot of younger people not being able to sustain eye contact.

I feel like the older generations were thrown straight into the deep end, you either sunk or swim.

This only motivates more to focus only on in person approaches and ditch OLD altogether

I'm surprised anyone would say that it's easier now. Isn't female entitlement at an all time high?

I told my father this and he told me to "stop making excuses"

 

[Stuffnu]

I just turned 50 but I’m not sure if either generation had an advantage.
Back in the day, you actually had to talk to people over the phone or in person. So it was easier to screen for potential by either parties.
If only I was able to go back in time with the Delorean and my red pill awareness. I would have slayed so much more without my pubescent beta quantities.
Today’s generation, even red piled, interaction is abundant with a simple swipe to the right but in-person interaction is non-existent or quickly discarded.
Arthritis of the thumb is going to be chronic ailment in the future.

 

[joesbigship]

I'm just bringing this up since a lot of people say Covid made things like OLD harder, but it wasn't exactly any easier before.

Maybe people look at the past with rose tinted glasses.

You walked around the nightclub with a pen and paper?

Pre covid is 2020.

You're talking about your dad, who I assume is 50 something or early 60's? Late 40's? If 50's, then he was in his 20's in the 90's.

Flip phones started becoming widely available in the mid '90's if I'm correct. Pagers and beepers were widely used prior. You didn't have to carry a pen and paper, but maybe the bartender or waitress used one and you could borrow one for a second?

I don't think you have a clear sense of timelines here lol.

 

[2Rocky]

I remember calling Sorority Landlines and waiting for whomever was on phone duty to find the particular girl I was calling....

Thus when I saw her in person, on campus, I didn't mess around, and was straight to the point.

 

[Machine10033]

I'm just wondering if the older players here can shed some light, was it really harder back then or the same or easier?

I actually never got on social media and never did OLD. I refuse to move on from my glory days. I think the “old” days were slightly harsher. You had to meet the girl in person... usually cold approach... and impress her enough to keep things moving. I still memorize phone numbers ...it actually blows peoples minds when I tell them their number.

the irony is when I meet a younger girl now. They always ask if I’m on Facebook, Instagram, tinder... whatever... and when I say no it usually garners an insane amount of interest.

 

[HaleyBaron]

lol I remember having to memorize phone numbers. In the shower, I sometimes think about how I use to know so many people's numbers, but now I only know mines. It's kinda sad.

 

[The Duke]

What makes today's dating so hard is everyone has access to everyone. Guys with SMV(sexual market value) of a 4 can message a girl with an SMV of 8. All it does is boost her ego and make it harder for the guys with a legitimate shot. When everyone can message her, the messages from guys that actually have a shot get lost in the crowd. No girl wants to sort thru 50 messages a day from random dudes she isn't even interested in.

Another issue is Interest level can be faked so easily with such little effort on both sides when using online dating.

So with a perceived abundance comes other issues. There are just new issues. In the end things aren't any harder or easier.

 

[RickPound]

This got me thinking… I was hooking up and calling girls before everybody had a cell phone. I had to call their house and ask for them when their parents answered and same when they called my house. This would be like 5th grade into early high school.

I remember talking to girls all night until our parents made us get off the phone.

If a girl didn’t want to talk to you she had to get her mom or dad (or brother or somebody) to cover for her and say she wasn’t there or something. And at the age where the f*ck could she be? She was either home or at soccer practice.

A lot easier these days to ignore, ghost, manipulate etc

 

[Willie Naylor]

Nah, things had to have been easier all around back in his day.

Technology has only made things worse. People are less social than ever before.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

Things are exactly the same
Same amount of girls getting ass cheek tattoos with their lovers name in 2021 and in 1980.

80% of guys receiving transactional sex and 20% receiving validational sex.

If anything, it’s a little easier now because a) there is less competition (men in general are less dominant/alpha than previous eras) and b) there is less stigma around pre marital sex (to the detriment of mental health and wider society - but that’s another convo).

Guys attracting HOT girls in 2021 aren’t using online dating, so the fact that everyone in this thread mentions the internet tells me most guys here have no idea what they’re talking about. The cool crowd under the age of 25 use social media as nothing more than a popularity contest. Girls that use OLD tend be to 26+ and are looking for something serious or are just too unattractive/socially awkward to get men in the real world. Men resorting to the internet to find sex are seen as desperate - equally in 2021 in 1998…
The alpha turning up to the club with 4 model tier hotties on his arm did not meet them on ****ing tinder.

If any of you guys landed one, just ONE, popular 8+ girlfriend (an 8 would be attractive enough to be a published model)…you would gain so much status amongst women (her friends, her friends friends, her cousins and colleagues etc - women TALK), that you wouldn’t need to worry about finding another hot girlfriend for another 3 years. They would find you.

 

[Plinco]

@Zimbabwe

Let's step into a time machine. Let's go to any high school prior to 2005. Watch the body language of how people interacted.

If you don't like the music, then you know what to do with the volume.

No social media, no cell phones. Some might have had analog phones or pagers. People were open about having standards so in school there were physical fitness tests, teachers would call you out and make fun of you, etc. Parents would beat their kids to some degree more often when they got in trouble. Communication was more straight forward. People were expected to be a lot more fit emotionally and physically. Single moms were not the norm.

As far as dating goes, like I said it is like comparing apples to oranges. Back then you had to go up to the girl and ask her out and/or get her phone number. Basically it was all either daygame or social circle game. There were greater expectations on performance of game (social skills) on men and women. Women either showed that like she liked you through her body language, or were more direct in letting you know that she did not like you, which was nice because you didn't waste your time. Her family or social circle were clock blockers just like they are today. Simping did not exist any where near as bad as it does now; women did not have that princess mentality like they do now. Casual sex happened, but the focus was much more towards LTR's.

LTR's were much more common, but you had to have better social skills than young people do today. The best thing I can tell you is to get off the social media and do things that put you in a position where you have to communicate with people face to face in a social setting. Unfortunately most under 30 are so socially incompetent that in a sense it really isn't getting the same kind of practice that I had growing up.