Being masculine doesn’t work lol

[Robert28]

I found when I get the best results when I’m fun goofy and just free like a kid. Anytime I act super masculine it actually backfired lol. What are your guys thoughts

Whenever I’ve acted like I’m fun, goofy and just free like a kid I got my @$$ friendzoned to hell and back. Every. Fvcking. Time. What works for me is not being into a girl or just barely being into her. If I can do that with a girl I’m super attracted to I’ll have it all figured out but I haven’t been able to do that yet. But it comes naturally to ones I’m semi attracted to and they fall all over themselves for me.

 

[Robert28]

You are either masculine or not imo. You shouldn't have to act or force anything. A good way to become that way is to do rigorous exercise frequently, study one kind of martial art or mma and eat a healthy diet with lots of protein like eggs, steak, lean chicken, tuna and lots of good vegetables.

I did full contact sports most my life while growing up in the early to late 90s and did two different martial arts. Was forced into it by my parents. Hated it at the time but wouldnt trade those experiences for anything now. Southern redneck coaches were total physchopaths back then who put their teams through grueling practices. It's like coaching jobs attracted some of the biggest overly macho bullying nutcases or something. Puking from pure physical exhaustion was common then at the end of wrestling and football practices.

Yep I played football in college and I cringe at how hard practices were sometimes. My problem has always been that I’ve done TONS of masculine things but I also came off as the nice fun guy. Sociopath type guys that girls swoon over, always seem to be afraid of me for some reason. But women see me as this harmless good guy who they can’t maintain attraction for and yet the guys they go for have a lot of respect for me by the way I carry myself. It’s weird and I’ve never been able to figure it out. When I was in college and younger I never got disrespected by a guy in the bar scene or anything like that, never got into a fight and the few times I almost did the other guy backed down quick for some reason. Yet women will walk all over me if I don’t constantly set boundaries. It’s exhausting.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

Then you're not acting masculine.
Nothing is more magnetic than a masculine, reserved, calm, assertive man for women

Facts!!!
Women are drawn to masculine men like magnets.
The **** these people talking bout?
Probably getting attention and validation acting like entertainers but they def aren’t getting laid by hotties.
Mystery and calmness and aloofness trumps all.
They’re probably doing it wrong

 

[DonJuanjr]

Sociopath type guys that girls swoon over, always seem to be afraid of me for some reason. But women see me as this harmless good guy who they can’t maintain attraction for and yet the guys they go for have a lot of respect for me by the way I carry myself. It’s weird and I’ve never been able to figure it out.

The men are judging you based on male dominance hierarchies while the females are judging you based on intersexual dynamics.

 

[Robert28]

The men are judging you based on male dominance hierarchies while the females are judging you based on intersexual dynamics.

Wonder how I can change that?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I think, first off, we need to dispel this idea that every woman is looking for the same exact thing; you are far more of a social object than anything else.

We are objectified by women in a way that is difficult to articulate because it is difficult to question a deadly man, a man who can kill, understands the objectification of men because he himself is also looking through that lens and there in lay the view point of women.

You dont need to be masculine, you just need to be able to communicate to other men that you have the skill, money or otherwise to make their lives difficult if they are going against your wishes and by extension the wishes of their women.

You are an object of death first and if you are not that, then you are disposable. We give women societal privilege because otherwise we would of hurt them just like anyone else in history.... Without a wave of men coming down onto a criminal, what is stopping him? Threats only go so far.

The problem today is that women have embraced every angle of masculinity BUT taking life or to a certain extent being a provider, so if your anything but, your viewed as akin to a woman, men that need to say "If you say this or that, your not a man" are not inherently threatening men, thus they rely on the illusion of being threatening.

Bottom line, we are in a time where the ILLUSIONS surrounding men are being dispelled and yet I see more and more men on here embracing the illusion as if its going to save them... Avoiding saying lol is not going to save you.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Wonder how I can change that?

Change what? Change females judging you based on male dominance hierarchies instead of intersexual dynamics? I'd say to wait for a female to play "lets you and him fight" and win the fight.

 

[DonJuanjr]

You are an object of death first and if you are not that, then you are disposable. We give women societal privilege because otherwise we would of killed them just like anyone else in history.... Without a wave of men coming down onto a criminal, what is stopping him? Threats only go so far.

The problem today is that women have embraced every angle of masculinity BUT taking life or to a certain extent being a provider, so if your anything but, your viewed as akin to a woman, men that need to say "If you say this or that, your not a man" are not inherently threatening men, thus they rely on the illusion of being threatening.

Yeah it's funny women don't need men until there is a war or someone needs to stop a rapist/serial killer.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Yeah it's funny women don't need men until there is a war or someone needs to stop a rapist/serial killer.

The war is online now, a man who can bolster her social media alone is going to be in the highest demand and have access to the most valuable women and there isn't a physical threat to keep that man in check and when there is, his uselessness will not only be ignored, but celebrated, he'll be praised for standing behind his body guards.

A man can also interface with women online in a way that he just can't in real life, our ability to be combatants is greater online in societies view

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Real men don't use lol. (and now you'll immaturely respond with a bunch of LOLs, further proving my point)

And you're right. There's something I don't say on this forum often.

wtf lol

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Almost feminine like seriously.

Maybe they think you're the gay guy they want to try once?

 

[Lordeterra]

wtf lol

LOL. He’s trying to tell us how to be a real man. Anyone who knows anything about girls knows that a true real man creates his own rules

 

[Lordeterra]

I found the deal. I’m more “Alive” and animated when I’m following my dreams: that’s the most attractive trait a guy can have. A liar for life

 

[PRW63]

I found when I get the best results when I’m fun goofy and just free like a kid. Anytime I act super masculine it actually backfired lol. What are your guys thoughts

It means you aren't acting masculine,...you just "think" you are. You are following a masculine "parody".

"Fun & Goofy" makes it look like you have a good sense of humor which is ultimately based on confidence which is a masculine trait. However if the "Fun & Goofy" begins to show its true colors, and if those true colors happen to be "juvenile & immature" they will "tire of you", treat you as nothing more than the Class Clown as they leave you behind and go chase the true masculine man.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

Strange strange times when men are discussing being ‘camp’ as a method to attract women

You think your masculinity is whats making you unattractive? What a strange conclusion

 

[AureliusMaximus]

LOL. He’s trying to tell us how to be a real man. Anyone who knows anything about girls knows that a true real man creates his own rules

and because of that I'm going to lol so hard that it is really LOLZ!
lollollilol ha ha cuz its all about the lulz.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

It’s definitely a cope, I can just walk outside and see the masculine strategy debunked

 

[Lordeterra]

It means you aren't acting masculine,...you just "think" you are. You are following a masculine "parody".

"Fun & Goofy" makes it look like you have a good sense of humor which is ultimately based on confidence which is a masculine trait. However if the "Fun & Goofy" begins to show its true colors, and if those true colors happen to be "juvenile & immature" they will "tire of you", treat you as nothing more than the Class Clown as they leave you behind and go chase the true masculine man.

Truth

 

[9-3enthusiast]

Or just completely overdoing it and being obviously insecure.

This is a problem I see most commonly in younger guys.
A friend of my nephew I met one evening... a guy around 20-24 - His handshake was so extreme, and his whole demeanor so overtly over-the-top macho, he came across as a complete jerk at first - But was a decent guy when I got to know him later.
I did advise him to tone down the handshake and the machismo - though whether or not he took the advice, I'm yet to find out...

 

[SmoothSmooth]

It’s definitely a cope, I can just walk outside and see the masculine strategy debunked

Correlation is not causation
Most relationships the man also LOOKS better than the woman too. So the relationship has nothing to do with game. Just the guy settling for someone below his smv)
But in relationships where the woman LOOKS better than the man (ie his sexual strategy takes precedence) the man is often much more masculine than average.
Also a lack of masculinity in general society means women will settle for less masculine options out of lack.
But they will feel arousal for and be more tempted to cheat with more masculine men they eventually encounter .