Is this a rejection or what?

[Focal core]

Well I mean it felt like a rejection but I’d just never heard it put that way. Usually it’s “I’m not looking for a relationship” and that’s it. This one had way more detail and reasons why she wasn’t. Could she be lying about being single for 3 years? Yeah but who would lie about something like that. My gut told me to ghost her but the problem is we have friends in common so the backlash would be severe if I did that but I’m honestly not interested in continuing seeing her if nothing is going to come of it.

when a women tell you she was single for that period long of time, she's riding the CC. you're her emotional tampon. she's not settling anytime soon but she will glad to put you on backup position when all the chad/tyrone kicks her on the curb she will more than willing to settle with you for basic purposes.

@Zimbabwe have it right there .she had chad went along she jump on him after work swallow his dump all over her or inside her for full weekend. and he's still waiting for him to commit after all that.

 

[Atom Smasher]

What was the conversation immediately before “so what do you think about us”, and where exactly were you, what were you both doing. Methinks that therein lie the clues we need.

 

[SW15]

When a girl says “honestly, I haven’t been in a relationship in 3 years, I don’t have time to be in one because I’ve been focusing on my career and I’ve needed time to work on myself because I’ve been battling depression and I just don’t have the time to put effort into a relationship right now”. That’s a rejection isn’t it?

But to answer it, it's a soft rejection. She's not ready for guys she has low interest for but if her personal Chad comes along all that goes out the window. Always look at her actions not her words.

@Zimbabwe got it right.

@Robert28 -- Why would you have interest in a career focused woman with mental health issues? That's not good girlfriend material.

when a women tell you she was single for that period long of time, she's riding the CC.

If a woman hasn't been in a relationship for 3 years, it's not likely that she's been abstaining from sex for 3 years. She's been a carousel rider, either by choice or circumstances. She's been pumped and dumped by top tier men if she's average to cute.

 

[Robert28]

@Zimbabwe got it right.

@Robert28 -- Why would you have interest in a career focused woman with mental health issues? That's not good girlfriend material.



If a woman hasn't been in a relationship for 3 years, it's not likely that she's been abstaining from sex for 3 years. She's been a carousel rider, either by choice or circumstances. She's been pumped and dumped by top tier men if she's average to cute.

I mean I’ve never understood what “I need to focus on my career” even means. I own my own business, no woman on earth is busier than me and I’ve never once used that as an excuse. I didn’t know About the whole depression thing until she told me, I was totally caught off guard about her trying to get straight after her ex since they only date for “like a year”(her words) and it had been 3 fvcking years since then. I can honestly say no girl I dated 3 years ago left me in a state of depression, I probably couldn’t even remember their names by now.

 

[Robert28]

What was the conversation immediately before “so what do you think about us”, and where exactly were you, what were you both doing. Methinks that therein lie the clues we need.

We were riding home from a Halloween party and she randomly brings it up. “So where do you see this going? Where’s your mind at? I just was curious where we were both at” and that’s when she hit me with all I said in the first message. I’m not sure why it felt like a gut punch but it did, I wanted to get away from her so I didn’t have any witty lines or comebacks or anything when she was talking. I just wanted to drop her off and leave. I think I was most worried how to handle getting away from her for good without effecting my friendships with the people we know. I have every right to ghost her since she rejected me but I’m sure she won’t tell them the whole story and make it just about me ghosting her.

 

[Robert28]

when a women tell you she was single for that period long of time, she's riding the CC. you're her emotional tampon. she's not settling anytime soon but she will glad to put you on backup position when all the chad/tyrone kicks her on the curb she will more than willing to settle with you for basic purposes.

@Zimbabwe have it right there .she had chad went along she jump on him after work swallow his dump all over her or inside her for full weekend. and he's still waiting for him to commit after all that.

Well I smelled CC when she was telling me that but you know how women love to disguise riding the CC as “dating”? She claims she hasn’t dated anyone in 3 years so who knows if she’s been riding it or if she has, she didn’t give me any leads about it.

 

[SW15]

I mean I’ve never understood what “I need to focus on my career” even means. I own my own business, no woman on earth is busier than me and I’ve never once used that as an excuse. I didn’t know About the whole depression thing until she told me, I was totally caught off guard about her trying to get straight after her ex since they only date for “like a year”(her words) and it had been 3 fvcking years since then. I can honestly say no girl I dated 3 years ago left me in a state of depression, I probably couldn’t even remember their names by now.

Women are exceptional at filling their lives up with meaningless activities.

I've been out on dates with certain women over time and I listened to what they said about their time committments. With certain women, I've wondered how they would make time to date anyone regardless of what their interest levels is in me. I've seen women that had ridiculous committments with professional, civic, and social organizations. Some of those organizations are major time suckers. This happened pre-pandemic.

 

[derby1]

Well I smelled CC when she was telling me that but you know how women love to disguise riding the CC as “dating”? She claims she hasn’t dated anyone in 3 years so who knows if she’s been riding it or if she has, she didn’t give me any leads about it.

Ive been in a very similar situation, and Let me tell you what happened, women give you NO Leeway whatsoever when theyre not invested.

I completely lost frame one night, in about October 1935, and sold myself as a drunk goofy beta male, the life and soul of the party.

women doing this is totally acceptable, but not a man.

Ive never recovered she still sees me as the same guy even after all this time.

 

[Robert28]

Women are exceptional at filling their lives up with meaningless activities.

I've been out on dates with certain women over time and I listened to what they said about their time committments. With certain women, I've wondered how they would make time to date anyone regardless of what their interest levels is in me. I've seen women that had ridiculous committments with professional, civic, and social organizations. Some of those organizations are major time suckers. This happened pre-pandemic.

I’m smart enough to know when she said that to me, I heard “I would make time for you if I thought you were worth it but you aren’t”. I know that no woman will let things like depression and work get in the way of a guy they have to have. If anything they’d want to be with someone that made them happy and who was willing to make time for them even if they were busy. That’s how I took it anyways.

 

[Robert28]

Ive been in a very similar situation, and Let me tell you what happened, women give you NO Leeway whatsoever when theyre not invested.

I completely lost frame one night, in about October 1935, and sold myself as a drunk goofy beta male, the life and soul of the party.

women doing this is totally acceptable, but not a man.

Ive never recovered she still sees me as the same guy even after all this time.

She didn’t say the word “friends” but I felt like that’s where it was heading and wanted to cut that off before it even got mentioned. I’ve lost frame with girls that had high interest and it didn’t effect me, but lose interest with low or medium girls and you’re done. Yep, I’ve experienced that before.

 

[derby1]

PS Bro you already have low tolerance with women, this one with mental issues will do the exact same weird stuff 3 dates in anyway.

youll put a full stop somewhere wrong in a text, and she will presume you want to marry her, then she will ghost

 

[bat soup]

When a girl says “honestly, I haven’t been in a relationship in 3 years, I don’t have time to be in one because I’ve been focusing on my career and I’ve needed time to work on myself because I’ve been battling depression and I just don’t have the time to put effort into a relationship right now”. That’s a rejection isn’t it?

It's an excuse.

 

[Robert28]

It's an excuse.

I just never heard it detailed that much with extra bs sprinkled on top before lol I knew what it was when I heard it but I just wish she’d given me a better one. I’d have much rather have gotten “hey I’m not feeling this” or something. Would you block and ghost? I mean I honestly don’t have anything more to say to her and don’t want to be around her anymore.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Why are you wasting your time over-analyzing and untangling a bowl of spaghetti? She told you, so just move on. You really want to pique her interest? Date someone else.

Need to sharpen up your IDGAF attitude and ability to walk and next.

Good luck.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Not at all. I’ve never done that, if anything women tell me I’m hard to read. I was honest with her about where I saw it going though, I told her straight up I was thinking this was leading to a relationship down the line and she put the breaks on that I think.

You showed your hand too quickly , never tell a woman you love her first or that you want a relationship with her

She has to believe she is competing with other women for exclusivity with you ..... she has to believe her allure is winning you over

it makes her feel feminine and thats what they all want , same as we want them to make us feel masculine

Make her work for that exclusivity just as hard as she makes you work for the pu$$Y

 

[Atom Smasher]

We were riding home from a Halloween party and she randomly brings it up. “So where do you see this going? Where’s your mind at? I just was curious where we were both at” and that’s when she hit me with all I said in the first message. I’m not sure why it felt like a gut punch but it did, I wanted to get away from her so I didn’t have any witty lines or comebacks or anything when she was talking. I just wanted to drop her off and leave. I think I was most worried how to handle getting away from her for good without effecting my friendships with the people we know. I have every right to ghost her since she rejected me but I’m sure she won’t tell them the whole story and make it just about me ghosting her.

This is one question that should never be answered seriously and concretely, as you have discovered. She got you to show all your cards. When a woman watches a movie, she watches because she doesn't know how it's going to end. You told her the end of the movie, so-to-speak, and all tension was released. No more challenge, no more allure. I think you're just going to have to let this one just quietly fizzle out and move on. As @Dash Riprock said, to paraphrase, we all need to build up that IDGAF muscle.

 

[Robert28]

Yeah I can see where I showed my cards too easily. I think because I hate being bs’d and given vague answers that I’m the type that’ll tell you exactly where I stand and what I’m thinking. Maybe I kill all the mystery about myself but there’s no mistaking where I stand. Guess I need to find a balance.

 

[Focal core]

Yeah I can see where I showed my cards too easily. I think because I hate being bs’d and given vague answers that I’m the type that’ll tell you exactly where I stand and what I’m thinking. Maybe I kill all the mystery about myself but there’s no mistaking where I stand. Guess I need to find a balance.

she's juggling with her options. a women that wants you would move a mountain for you. that for general rules. nothing beats e'm

 

[Robert28]

she's juggling with her options. a women that wants you would move a mountain for you. that for general rules. nothing beats e'm

Women that usually juggle options always pick the wrong one and then end up left with no options.

 

[Plinco]

Women that usually juggle options always pick the wrong one and then end up left with no options.

Usually? Sounds like you have a lot of bad experiences with women. I could be wrong