Saw A Woman Cold Approach A Guy Today

[Francis]

My brother is 6'6 and gets cold approached often. The height factor is real. Guys reading this can deny this fact as much as much as they want but height gives you a massive advantage.

I'm sure it does give an advantage, but it's not all or nothing. There's exceptions as well. Can't speak for anyone else, but I'm 5'6-5'7 and had no problems with attracting women based on physical appearance, especially back in the day (still get looks, but gained a few pounds and focusing on education / career). Based on what they said and what they always complimented on, it was about straight looks for them. But they were always shorter themselves which is what we both preferred.

A friend of mine at the time (who was way more successful due to approaching and not being shy) was around the same height. Other successful guys I hung around with were much taller and had their fair share. It varied a lot. I doubt women even know what they want half the time. If you have looks, height, social skills, and/or personality, you're in the game either way.

Edit: These were all good looking women.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I think it's different because when a man wears lifts, it reflects he is insecure about his height. That's the perception whether right or wrong.

I am not a mind reader but I wouldn't imagine he wears them to look and appear more attractive, with long legs, which is why women wear them.

High heels were orginally invented for men though, I can easily use the same "logic" and say women who put on makeup are incredibly insecure.

I'm sure it does give an advantage, but it's not all or nothing. There's exceptions as well. Can't speak for anyone else, but I'm 5'6-5'7 and had no problems with attracting women based on physical appearance, especially back in the day (still get looks, but gained a few pounds and focusing on education / career). Based on what they said and what they always complimented on, it was about straight looks for them. But they were always shorter themselves which is what we both preferred.

A friend of mine at the time (who was way more successful due to approaching and not being shy) was around the same height. Other successful guys I hung around with were much taller and had their fair share. It varied a lot. I doubt women even know what they want half the time. If you have looks, height, social skills, and/or personality, you're in the game either way.

Edit: These were all good looking women.

Nothing wrong with boosting yourself up over the competition, every little advantage helps.

I'm 5'9 I don't have a problem but i have noticed i get way more attention since i grew my beard,started dressing better and put on some muscle mass. I don't see anything wrong with adding some height in there as well.

 

[Francis]

High heels were orginally invented for men though, I can easily use the same "logic" and say women who put on makeup are incredibly insecure.

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Nothing wrong with boosting yourself up over the competition, every little advantage helps.

I'm 5'9 I don't have a problem but i have noticed i get way more attention since i grew my beard,started dressing better and put on some muscle mass. I don't see anything wrong with adding some height in there as well.

No doubt about boosting the advantage for yourself (I used to drive a very nice convertible, took a long time to get ready, dressed to the 9's, and pissed off just about everyone I knew by taking so long), but I wouldn't fake something like height. That's going too far IMO. Just like if a girl used a butt pad. You take off her pants and there's nothing there. Screw that, lol.

But I don't doubt that doing those things helped your chances. It's amazing, isn't it? You wouldn't normally think some of those things matter, but it does to women. They pay attention to your shoes (all the damn time), how you take care of yourself, if you're well groomed, all those little details.

 

[Francis]

Serious question. When a woman wears heels or a bit of makeup when she's out with you, does that reflect insecurity to you?

Women tend to be very insecure by nature, so that makes no difference. I think it looks pretty hot, but having the natural look isn't a turn off if she is naturally attractive. A girl I dated for a while (very pretty) was surprised when I said she was attractive after she got out of the shower without make up. Legitimately thought I was lying. lol

 

[Zimbabwe]

That's fair enough. Again, I do not speak for all women, only myself.

A man's height is not a major issue for me personally, because as I said, he has no control over that. He could be tall but the laziest son of a bytch that ever lived. Fat, out of shape, whatever. So I don't see the point in lifts, for me personally. When I notice, I do make a certain judgment, that he is not confident about his natural height and THAT is a turn off, for me.

On the other hand, when he makes the effort to work out and keep in great physical shape, that suggests (to me) he takes pride in his appearance, and that's important to me. As I also take pride in myself and my appearance.

I am not sure why you are challenging me on this, it's just MY personal opinion to which I am entitled, just as you are entitled to yours.

@Zimbabwe, you posted this in a thread you created.

Nothing wrong with boosting yourself up over the competition, every little advantage helps.

I'm 5'9 I don't have a problem but i have noticed i get way more attention since i grew my beard,started dressing better and put on some muscle mass. I don't see anything wrong with adding some height in there as well.

If that is how you feel, then just do it. You don't need anyone's else approval. Just do what you want, and accept that some women will like and some won't.

Men say they feel better and more confident in shoe lifts all the time, just like dressing better or getting a fresh haircut does. I haven't tried it yet but I've already ordered a pair of 3 inch shoes to give it a go.

You can argue that it's fake confidence but so is everything else like lifting weights and dressing better. It's all temporary.

No doubt about boosting the advantage for yourself (I used to drive a very nice convertible, took a long time to get ready, dressed to the 9's, and pissed off just about everyone I knew by taking so long), but I wouldn't fake something like height. That's going too far IMO. Just like if a girl used a butt pad. You take off her pants and there's nothing there. Screw that, lol.

But I don't doubt that doing those things helped your chances. It's amazing, isn't it? You wouldn't normally think some of those things matter, but it does to women. They pay attention to your shoes (all the damn time), how you take care of yourself, if you're well groomed, all those little details.

I've seen guys on other forums talk about how big of a boost they got from the lifts, I'm not sure if it was placebo but they were also way more confident wearing them.

I honestly don't see why faking height is really a problem, most guys already wear shoes with large soles like the Nike Airforce one which add an extra 1.5 inchs. I don't see anything wrong with adding another 1.5 to that mix.

 

[BeExcellent]

It is always a bad idea. But women buy into it because of "The Strong Independent Woman" crap.

When they do that they are taking on the role of a Man,...they are becoming the man in the exchange. The only guy who will respond to it would be a man who is willing to become the woman,...or a guy who just doesn't give a crap and thinks it makes her an easy lay (and he's probably right).

A masculine guy who has options will be put off by it. If he wanted a date with her he would have already taken care of the situation himself.

Women need to understand that if a guy doesn't try to initiate, he either (1.) Doesn't want to,...or,...(2.)Is incapable of it. It doesn't matter which one is true, they are both deal breakers.

A balance would be if a woman goes up to him and makes conversation,...but waits to see if he initiates.

True. This is a tough thing for a woman who is encouraged to be empowered to accept however but I strongly agree. In my 20s I experimented with cold approaching men. Like you said it puts the woman in the masculine role. That’s no good for anyone. I got politely rejected and thought WTF? Although I was always polite about it.

It all goes back to what my wise granny taught me…that young ladies NEVER call boys.

As a woman it’s best to sit back and see who approaches you. This gives men the masculine role and so forth. Allows the woman to respond in the feminine role.

As to the balanced approach? Yes. This is an acceptable hybrid that still allows the man to pursue or show interest. In fact my BF and I met this way. I had noticed him by himself at the end of the bar in a packed venue one Saturday night. I needed to get a glass of wine & magically the only spot to get a place along the bar to order a drink was next to him. As I was ordering I turned to him, smiled, and said “How’s your night going?” From there he picked up the conversation, asked for my number, texted & asked me out the next morning…and led from there. We’ve been dating since. He’s not one to stride across a venue to introduce himself. But it’s cute to hear him tell the story about how we met. He saw me trying to figure out where to go to get a drink & he cleared the spot for me. He had seen me when I walked in and assumed I was married to one of the guys in my entourage.

I always scratch my head when men here expect women to do the approaching. It’s not the way of things.

 

[BeExcellent]

Insecure women are also (typically) more seeking of a man’s guidance & acceptance which causes a man to feel needed, a primal need that men have. So insecurity actually can have an element of attractiveness where men are concerned.

Men do not like to feel inferior. Or intimidated. Unless exceptionally beautiful, insecure women are not intimidating to men. It comes across rather as feminine & demure, at least at first.

 

[Francis]

Men say they feel better and more confident in shoe lifts all the time, just like dressing better or getting a fresh haircut does. I haven't tried it yet but I've already ordered a pair of 3 inch shoes to give it a go.

You can argue that it's fake confidence but so is everything else like lifting weights and dressing better. It's all temporary.



I've seen guys on other forums talk about how big of a boost they got from the lifts, I'm not sure if it was placebo but they were also way more confident wearing them.

I honestly don't see why faking height is really a problem, most guys already wear shoes with large soles like the Nike Airforce one which add an extra 1.5 inchs. I don't see anything wrong with adding another 1.5 to that mix.

If it makes them feel more confident and gives them better chances, then all the more power to them. I've never been against other people bettering themselves. It's even possible that they became more successful because they gained more confidence. Perception matters a lot... But I personally wouldn't do that. Then again I've never had to do it either. I think that part slips by us sometimes... everyone isn't on the same playing field or has the same experiences. Someone touched up on this on another thread recently, where guys who gain success based on looks will say looks are most important. Guys with good communication will say that's most important. And so on. It's all in what we see and experience for ourselves. But it does appear that there are several ways to be successful.

But on the topic of struggles and insecurities: the biggest problem I ever had in regards to dating was never with women, but with other men trying to bully because of the perceived weakness in being short as I was attracting women. They thought I was an easy target and at the time they were probably right. They got real vicious at times and I believed all their crap for a while, not realizing it was stemming from envy and wanting to be the best. Definitely had to learn how to toughen up and not take anyone's crap. And live my own life and find my own success without having to tell everyone or invite them in (this isn't even my real name, as with the lot of you). Not many of them are happy to see other people doing well, sad as it is.

 

[roaming shark]

There was a really interesting experience today, Saw a woman who looked a lot like Lisa Ann but way less Busty cold approach a tall black guy. She said "hi you look interesting" and they had a brief chat near the traffic light. It sounded like she was leading the conversation and she then said "would you like to go and have lunch" to which he replied with "sorry I'm not interested'. It seemed like a polite rejection but she clearly took it the wrong way and her body language became more hostile. She answered with a loud "WHY?". They argued a bit until she called him "Gay" and angrly stormed off.

The whole thing was really interesting to witness, It was the first time I saw a woman cold approach a guy. Has anyone else seen this or had a woman cold approach you?

Jesus. Does that actually happen? That would shatter my entire sense of reality. I’ve literally never been approached and I look decent. What a world. Most men never get action, ever. Thankfully there’s cold approach and verbal game

 

[Bokanovsky]

Insecure women are also (typically) more seeking of a man’s guidance & acceptance which causes a man to feel needed, a primal need that men have. So insecurity actually can have an element of attractiveness where men are concerned.

Strongly disagree. There is nothing attractive about insecure women. In fact, I absolutely despise them. Insecurity fuels shallowness (i.e. obsession with clothing, restaurants and Instagram) and creates unnecessary arguments and drama. How’s that attractive?? You are confusing being deferential to men (a positive quality in a woman) with being insecure. But the two are not the same.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Jesus. Does that actually happen? That would shatter my entire sense of reality. I’ve literally never been approached and I look decent. What a world. Most men never get action, ever. Thankfully there’s cold approach and verbal game

Being cold approached on the street by a woman is extremely unlikely in North America, even if you are a very good looking guy. That’s why the dude probably thought that he was being set up to get robbed or scammed. And he was probably right.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Bolded - that's a very broad generalization and may be your experience but not necessarily true for all women in all cases.

Again, only speaking for myself, I am always at least a little bit insecure when in the presence of a high value man I am VERY attracted to. A little bit "trembly" and nervous. I suppose I AM wanting his approval at least on some level, I want him to like me!

Being nervous around someone you find attractive is normal and something that most men and women experience on some level. Some hide it better than others but those who don’t feel it at all are likely psychopaths. This has nothing to do with being insecure though.

 

[Zimbabwe]

shallowness, need for validation and a sense of entitlement.

That's from Narcissism, which is a mask people hide behind to cover up their insecurity. I know this because this is the problem I have.

I think extreme insecurity (need for constant reassurance, need for more time spent together, need for more contact in between dates) can be toxic to any dating experience or relationship. Emotionally draining and has the potential of turning anyone off.

Actually it's the opposite, narcissists use this tactic to lure people in. It's called Love Bombing and it's how they get someone hooked. I know this works since this is exactly what I used to do early on without even realising it. It's like a drug I got the girls addicted to my constant attention and when i took it away it made them desperate for more.

 

[Francis]

Being cold approached on the street by a woman is extremely unlikely in North America, even if you are a very good looking guy. That’s why the dude probably thought that he was being set up to get robbed or scammed. And he was probably right.

That's a good point. Another thing is that because it is pretty rare, the guy will probably think she is easy and does it to everyone and has STIs.

And we're talking a straight cold approach with sexual / romantic interest by the woman on the street, with someone she doesn't know. This isn't the same as the girl showing some interest from a distance (usually by staring), and the guy approaches her, then her showing interest signals as they communicate and so on. Because that is very common and how almost every interaction goes when there's mutual interest. There's a lot of back and forth. And in most cases the guy and girl already know each other to some degree, so it's not a big deal if the girl goes up to him and starts flirting or whatever.

 

[MatureDJ]

These guys didn't get rejected for lifts.
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I know... It's reductio ad absurdum...

They were made for loving them, baby ...

 

[metalwater]

I feel like women have some sort of ESP, they somehow know a guy is dating someone and they want them specifically.

agree, but it only seems to activate at very close range. from a distance no.

 

[lost_blackbird]

I am a bit of an anomaly though, not typical of most women so I get it.

You're not like all the other girls? Never heard that one before....

 

[metalwater]

I am a bit of an anomaly though, not typical of most women so I get it.

Every woman I know is an anomaly vs all the other women, they have told me so.

 

[metalwater]

As to the balanced approach? Yes. This is an acceptable hybrid that still allows the man to pursue or show interest. In fact my BF and I met this way. I had noticed him by himself at the end of the bar in a packed venue one Saturday night. I needed to get a glass of wine & magically the only spot to get a place along the bar to order a drink was next to him. As I was ordering I turned to him, smiled, and said “How’s your night going?” From there he picked up the conversation, asked for my number, texted & asked me out the next morning…and led from there. We’ve been dating since. He’s not one to stride across a venue to introduce himself. But it’s cute to hear him tell the story about how we met. He saw me trying to figure out where to go to get a drink & he cleared the spot for me. He had seen me when I walked in and assumed I was married to one of the guys in my entourage.

I would consider this an approach. Had you only sat in that location and nothing said from you, it is still an approach. It's not balanced, you moved in, and initiated, good job.

You continue to describe him as "cute". cute and admiration are not close together. I would expect a male player to describe the latest plate as cute.

 

[Grounded eagle]

There was a really interesting experience today, Saw a woman who looked a lot like Lisa Ann but way less Busty cold approach a tall black guy. She said "hi you look interesting" and they had a brief chat near the traffic light. It sounded like she was leading the conversation and she then said "would you like to go and have lunch" to which he replied with "sorry I'm not interested'. It seemed like a polite rejection but she clearly took it the wrong way and her body language became more hostile. She answered with a loud "WHY?". They argued a bit until she called him "Gay" and angrly stormed off.

The whole thing was really interesting to witness, It was the first time I saw a woman cold approach a guy. Has anyone else seen this or had a woman cold approach you?

Oh yeah,I’ve been approached quite a bit.Everything from 4s to 8s.The ones on the lower end were a lot more direct,the means of approach got a lot more covert the higher up the scale they went.Save for one 8,who was a vamp,the more attractive ones dropped IOIs or used their friends.A lot of these were in my blue pilled days though,so I fumbled the ball quite often lol.