Do you Pay for First Dates?

[Zimbabwe]

pay...ESPECIALLY in non western countries. If a new woman goes out of her way to go dutch on first date then well usually she is not interested and that's her way of letting you know.

Some countries though, the man always pays. Try going down to the Dominican republic for example and demanding the girl go Dutch lol. Doubt you would ever see her again.

Ok this I completely understand, if you're in a foreign country where the rules are different that makes sense. Those women still have traditional values.

The west is a different story, women have more rights here yet they act as if they are living in Saudi Arabia with this whole opressed victim mentality.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

The subject of this thread is paying on the first date, not paying on subsequent dates or providing for women. You still need to meet a woman for the first time before you can filter her out.

then don’t go to Perry’s Steakhouse for a first date. Do coffee date or go to a bar. If spending 20-40 bucks is such a big deal then you need to work on your money dude. Her make up and shvt is like 100, so don’t complain. When you have properly vouched this girl, then you can go to Perry’s Steakhouse.

 

[RSDCharlie]

Maybe it depends on where the woman's mindset is at. If she just wants sex, maybe netflix and chill is more appealing than a formal date. Whether it's coffee or drinks or dinner. If she's looking for a relationship, then maybe the latter is more appealing.

Why does she get to decide what shes looking for? And why do you even care what she thinks? Your principles should remain the same, irrespective of what she wants. If its coffee on the 1st date, then that rule applies to everyone. If shes looking for a dinner and relationship, let her prove that she's worth it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

then don’t go to Perry’s Steakhouse for a first date. Do coffee date or go to a bar. If spending 20-40 bucks is such a big deal then you need to work on your money dude. Her make up and shvt is like 100, so don’t complain. When you have properly vouched this girl, then you can go to Perry’s Steakhouse.

You are obviously not reading the posts you are responding to. Money is not the problem.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Why does she get to decide what shes looking for? And why do you even care what she thinks?

Who says I do? If a chick is DTF, and is good with meeting at her place, why even bother with a formal date? Maybe the chick that is DTF would be turned off at the prospect of a formal date, when she just wanted some quick djck.

 

[RSDCharlie]

Who says I do? If a chick is DTF, and is good with meeting at her place, why even bother with a formal date? Maybe the chick that is DTF would be turned off at the prospect of a formal date, when she just wanted some quick djck.

That's a different concept then. If she's DTF without the date, obviously go for it. But if a girl is only DTF after a really expensive dinner, then honestly not worth it.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Amen brother! Re bolded, while I admit that women are often taught to not worry about HIS interest in us but rather worry about if WE are interested in him, the fact is women DO worry about a man's interest. About capturing his attention (and heart) and whether or not he likes us enough to ask for a second date.

Anyway, I really like the attitude quoted above. That frame is such a turn on. It has nothing to do with money, or wanting to be catered to or some sort of female entitlement.

Simply put it conveys leadership, confidence and purpose, and those qualities in a man are very appealing to a woman.

Gold digger spotted

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You are obviously not reading the posts you are responding to. Money is not the problem.

Then why are you complaining about 20 bucks? Is ten dollars that big of a deal?

 

[DonJuanjr]

Gold digger spotted

You know she had sex with a first time lover without a date also...

 

[DonJuanjr]

Good memory!

Good memory? I haven't read that before. I just assumed it because you're a female.

 

[DonJuanjr]

LOL, okay that was actually funny. But remember, HE had sex without a date also, so by the same token you could assume he did so because he was a man. Goes both ways.

Of course you miss my point. Which was... A female has no problem giving sex to a man that she desires. When resources are on the line, she will defer to the man's resources being depleted. Like you said, you prefer that a man pays while on dates.... Even though you slept with guys that didn't even take you on dates.

I don't blame you. It's your survival instincts to want to deplete a man's resources. Women are not creative enough to survive non civilized existence on their own. Like men are. So you are hard wired to extract resources from men for survival.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Any guy who asks a woman out and then expects her to pay 100% or even 50% is a boy. The subtext and tacit message it sends is" "I'm broke, I'm not assertive or a leader, I have no clue regarding masculinity or a man's role in a relationship, I have no clue of the man-woman dating dynamic."

Look, men and women are still operating under caveman-cavewoman DNA. Evolution is a long process. This means women at their core still want strong, well-bred, assertive men as they have the best chance for survival and dominance when competing for resources. Yes, times have changed since the days of the sabre-toothed tiger, but not really. Rather than competing for red meat and food, we now compete for market share and $ and strong genetics (looks and body) are still big drawing cards for women. So by asking a woman to pay, you're immediately positioning yourself as the weakest member of the tribe.

You can argue with SS members but you can't argue with biology. I mean, you can, but you'll lose 100% of the time.

I get that the whole I'm having a women pay for a first date is a very Gen Z and in some respects Gen Y "thing" but then when you look at 80-90% of those guys, you can see why it's commonplace as they appear and act very feminine to me. Just saying.

 

[DonJuanjr]

For the record. I agree with men paying on dates if they offered the date. I insisted I pay the whole bill on my last date. Even though she was willing to split it. I offered, I paid.

I offered to pay but he declined.

If he accepted the offer, how would that have made you feel? Honestly...

 

[Velasco]

If he accepted the offer, how would that have made you feel? Honestly...

it wouldn't have mattered

 

[Bokanovsky]

Strawman, lol. I don't need a man's money, and you're just gonna have to trust me on that!!!

It's not about money, it's about power, I get it. Women love being "courted", "taken out on dates", and otherwise being put on a pedestal.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Look, men and women are still operating under caveman-cavewoman DNA. Evolution is a long process. This means women at their core still want strong, well-bred, assertive men as they have the best chance for survival and dominance when competing for resources.

I'm sorry but this is not a very good analogy. Modern day courtship customs evolved in the 20th century and have nothing to do with "caveman-cavewoman DNA". Your caveman ancestors' reproduction stretegies would be classified as sexual assault in contemporary society. That's what being strong and "assertive" meant in those days.

You should research where the concept of taking women on dates came from. It's only about 100 years old. From the dawn of civilization until the 20th century, people mostly met through arrangements made by their parents. Dating is a very modern concept and is essentially a side effect of urbanization and the breakdown of traditional small communities. "Dating" is just as unnatural to humans as living in megacities.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Speaking for only myself of course, I actually DO NOT want to be put on a pedestal. Why? Because the only place to go from there is DOWN. Or backwards. It also reflects a fantasy mindset on his part, we just met and I have not yet earned being on the pedestal (nor has HE), so I don't trust it.

100% truth. For me.

What women say they want and what they actually want are two completely different things. 100% truth. For all of you.

 

[Velasco]

From the dawn of civilization until the 20th century, people mostly met through arrangements made by their parents.

 

[DonJuanjr]

What women say they want and what they actually want are two completely different things. 100% truth. For all of you.

I think this depends on what role you're in. If you're the lover, she'll be more open and honest than if you're the provider. I had one female tell me "Sometimes I just want to be told NO!" That's definitely in line with what djs preach on here.

 

[Velasco]

solution as I've noticed is to a lot of problems, is to make more money. if you have money, then you don't worry about who pays or if she insists. Ego thing not allowing her to pay if she wants to pay. showing her you are not comfortable with your own masculinity. or you following these fake alpha male rules.