Do you Pay for First Dates?

[zinc4]

A lot of guys pay on the first date because they have not got the balls not to. They don't want the woman to reject them because of it.

It is a topsy-turvy view of world. For an attractive man, sex is easy to get. The woman should be qualifying herself to you at least as much (and usually much more) than you are qualifying yourself to her.

It is not about being a ****. It is about being a man who knows his own value.

More like to alot of us $10 to $20 isnt even worth the mental energy of thinking about it. I would only demand the girl pays if she is either rude or obviously not into me and we ran up a big drinks tab.

A coffee date is lame asf anyways. If im going out its going to be to have drinks and have fun.

You guys are seriously emitting some strong poverty energy in here. Most of my first dates always end in lays probably because i dont emit poor person energy like you guys lmao.

 

[RSDCharlie]

More like to alot of us $10 to $20 isnt even worth the mental energy of thinking about it. I would only demand the girl pays if she is either rude or obviously not into me and we ran up a big drinks tab.

A coffee date is lame asf anyways. If im going out its going to be to have drinks and have fun.

You guys are seriously emitting some strong poverty energy in here. Most of my first dates always end in lays probably because i dont emit poor person energy like you guys lmao.

Why dont you tell the girls you lay that they have slutty energy? Because its easier to badmouth guys who care about their money, isnt it?

 

[zinc4]

Why dont you tell the girls you lay that they have slutty energy? Because its easier to badmouth guys who care about their money, isnt it?

Im realistic. They are all sloots man. I dgaf lol. Like i said there is a line between respecting yourself and just being cheap. If you both had a few drinks and she obviously isnt going home with you and you never want to see her again then im all for splitting a bill.

But a coffee date? I just cant relate to even caring enough to make such a gesture.

 

[PRW63]

It's like the blind leading the blind here.

I'm surprised there is such lack of understanding on this forum about male leadership, frame, masculinity, etc. I feel like I am on some bluepill Reddit group.

Sounds like High School "boys" complaining that he has to use his lunch money to pay for the girls lunch at school

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It's like the blind leading the blind here.

I'm surprised there is such lack of understanding on this forum about male leadership, frame, masculinity, etc. I feel like I am on some bluepill Reddit group.

Sounds like High School "boys" complaining that he has to use his lunch money to pay for the girls lunch at school

Care to elaborate? I don't have a strong opinion either way and I've bounced back and forth on it.

 

[SargeMaximus]

The funny thing is you don’t have to pay. There are plenty of girls who just want to be fvcked

 

[PRW63]

Anyone who has a clue about male leadership, masculinity, and "frame" as the PUA crowd might say...

...would understand that the guy is in the lead, the date is him offering the woman an opportunnity to go on the journey that he has planned and will take her along with him (he is in charge). So of course he is paying for the meal,...it isn't even a question. It is her job to enjoy it, respect it, and be worth his time and effort,...or he doesn't offer it to her a second time. He isn't the one wringing his hands worrying if she "likes him",...will she show up?,...who pays for the date? No. She is the one to worry if he found her interesting enough to offer a second date, and that she better show up on time or he will offer it to someone else next time.

 

[B80]

It's not black or white, but if you're reasonably well off it's something you shoukdnt even be remotely concerned about on first date or so imo.

Obviously if they never offer or pay for anything and keep requesting to go to expensive places then that will cause something to think about.

In my experience yiu can quickly suss people out.

If yiu don't have much else going for you and leading with wealth things probably aren't going to end well.

 

[zinc4]

The funny thing is you don’t have to pay. There are plenty of girls who just want to be fvcked

Yeah so my rule of thumb is invite them to my place first for dinner or a movie. That idea doesnt usually fly though for first dates so then ill meet them for drinks instead. If they say they dont drink and reject my invite to my place ill just next them unless i find them attractive enough which is very rare.

Imo it's all about prescreening a girl before the date then properly escalating on that date so that she is forced to make it obvious if she is really into you or not.

If you know you got a HB8 in tye bag i doubt you will care about one extra $4 to $6 cup of coffee or drink. My goal is to get laid period. Not to try to change the social dynamics of male/females.

 

[RSDCharlie]

Anyone who has a clue about male leadership, masculinity, and "frame" as the PUA crowd might say...

...would understand that the guy is in the lead, the date is him offering the woman an opportunnity to go on the journey that he has planned and will take her along with him (he is in charge). So of course he is paying for the meal,...it isn't even a question. It is her job to enjoy it, respect it, and be worth his time and effort,...or he doesn't offer it to her a second time. He isn't the one wringing his hands worrying if she "likes him",...will she show up?,...who pays for the date? No. She is the one to worry if he found her interesting enough to offer a second date, and that she better show up on time or he will offer it to someone else next time.

Read this

A third of women only date men because of the free food: study

The results are in: she only wanted to try that hot new restaurant. A new study published Friday in the Society for Personality and Social Psychology journal found that a quarter to a third of hete…

nypost.com

 

[PRW63]

Read this

A third of women only date men because of the free food: study

The results are in: she only wanted to try that hot new restaurant. A new study published Friday in the Society for Personality and Social Psychology journal found that a quarter to a third of hete…

nypost.com

So what? Just be smart enough and pay attention enough to know what is going on around you. They are just as worried about the guy just wanting "free sex", so you're even. Don't offer a date you aren't willing to cover the cost, and be smart enough to spot a woman con artist before you offer her the date. A lot of the guys are wanting to "get laid" and expect the woman to "give it up", but they are all worried about who is going to pay for the stupid greasy hamburger. The little boys want "mommy" to pay for it.

 

[RSDCharlie]

So what? Just be smart enough and pay attention enough to know what is going on around you. They are just as worried about the guy just wanting "free sex", so you're even. Don't offer a date you aren't willing to cover the cost, and be smart enough to spot a woman con artist before you offer her the date. A lot of the guys are wanting to "get laid" and expect the woman to "give it up", but they are all worried about who is going to pay for the stupid greasy hamburger. The little boys want "mommy" to pay for it.

Stop shaming guys for not wanting to pay. Everyone has their own issues. Not wanting to pay for something dont make them "little boys"

 

[Dash Riprock]

That is improper. Why would you expect the girl to offer to pay for the date?

Agreed 110%.

The man is the leader and should be taking the lead in all interactions. It's likely the man asked the woman out so the man is obligated to pay, if he has any balls at all.

All of this "she has to pay" BS especially on first dates is so candy ass and wussy, it's no wonder a lot of these guys struggle with women--getting REALLY BAD ADVICE from neophyte and unqualified advice-givers. Grow a pair if this is your MO. Seriously.

 

[zinc4]

Agreed 110%.

The man is the leader and should be taking the lead in all interactions. It's likely the man asked the woman out so the man is obligated to pay, if he has any balls at all.

All of this "she has to pay" BS especially on first dates is so candy ass and wussy, it's no wonder a lot of these guys struggle with women--getting REALLY BAD ADVICE from neophyte and unqualified advice-givers. Grow a pair if this is your MO. Seriously.

Agreed. I view it as the male equivalent of feminism. The only way i would refuse to pay for something as small as a cup of coffee or one beer is if the girl was blatantly rude to me.


The hillarious thing about this thread is coffee is always paid for right upfront...before the actual date.

Just imagine standing there in line waiting for coffee going through all of the energy of telling the girl we got this on separate bills. Imagine the cringe with them squabbling over such little money thinking they are this masculine alpha haha. Id like to see these guys actual results who penny pinch to this insane degree. It's over thinking things to the max.

That doesn't come off as masculine at all to me. Comes off as a broke bum. Now if the girl used fake pictures or was rude upon first meeting you i can get on board with it just out of the principal of the matter. But then again, in that situation, id probably just walk out instead of doing the date.

Just don't do first date dinner dates and you are good.

 

[RSDCharlie]

Agreed. I view it as the male equivalent of feminism. The only way i would refuse to pay for something as small as a cup of coffee or one beer is if the girl was blatantly rude to me.


The hillarious thing about this thread is coffee is always paid for right upfront...before the actual date.

Just imagine standing there in line waiting for coffee going through all of the energy of telling the girl we got this on separate bills. Imagine the cringe with them squabbling over such little money thinking they are this masculine alpha haha. Id like to see these guys actual results who penny pinch to this insane degree. It's over thinking things to the max.

That doesn't come off as masculine at all to me. Comes off as a broke bum. Now if the girl used fake pictures or was rude upon first meeting you i can get on board with it just out of the principal of the matter. But then again, in that situation, id probably just walk out instead of doing the date.

Just don't do first date dinner dates and you are good.

I can agree with that, first date coffee not a bad idea. First date dinner, crappy idea

 

[PRW63]

Stop shaming guys for not wanting to pay. Everyone has their own issues. Not wanting to pay for something dont make them "little boys"

No. I stand by my points.

 

[RSDCharlie]

No. I stand by my points.

Keep standing, it doesnt make you right.

 

[PRW63]

Keep standing, it doesnt make you right.

Doesn't make me wrong.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Doesn't make me wrong.

Shaming people is always wrong imo

 

[DonJuanjr]

Maybe it depends on where the woman's mindset is at. If she just wants sex, maybe netflix and chill is more appealing than a formal date. Whether it's coffee or drinks or dinner. If she's looking for a relationship, then maybe the latter is more appealing.