Ghosted after first date?

[GreatHornedOwl]

Why don’t you, for a change, try contributing something instead of just following Glass around and acting like he has no idea what he’s talking about? The attention seeking gets old. And you especially look silly when you’re flat out wrong.

You're accusing me of following him around when you are the one responding for him the last couple of times I have addressed him. Are you aware of what a hypocrite is?

And I'm flat out wrong? About what? That people have lives? Women ask me to hang out, and sometimes I can't, because I'm busy. It doesn't mean I'm not interested, it means I currently have other things going on. I don't know what's so hard for you to understand about that. So if a woman doesn't show extreme super high interest and bow down to you every step of the way and cancel everything she's doing to see you, it's a hard next?

I am contributing, and speaking out against toxic advice that's detrimental to guys trying to learn game. That mentality is going to condition someone's mind to constantly look for signs of rejection when it's not always there.

 

[Barrister]

You're accusing me of following him around when you are the one responding for him the last couple of times I have addressed him. Are you aware of what a hypocrite is?

And I'm flat out wrong? About what? That people have lives? Women ask me to hang out, and sometimes I can't, because I'm busy. It doesn't mean I'm not interested, it means I currently have other things going on. I don't know what's so hard for you to understand about that. So if a woman doesn't show extreme super high interest and bow down to you every step of the way and cancel everything she's doing to see you, it's a hard next?

I am contributing, and speaking out against toxic advice that's detrimental to guys trying to learn game. That mentality is going to condition someone's mind to constantly look for signs of rejection when it's not always there.

Second thread where you just want to disagree for the sake of disagreeing. You aren’t contributing. You’re offering no alternative advice - just labeling his as “toxic.” Which it isn’t if you knew how to apply it.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

I'm not contributing and offering no alternative advice? What posts are you reading? I clearly listed the reasons why I disagree, and gave anecdotal advice.

This isn't an opinion, it's a fact. Go back and read my post. I will not continue to have a discussion with someone who has the emotional maturity of a child. Go gaslight someone else, it's not going to work on me.

 

[Barrister]

I'm not contributing and offering no alternative advice? What posts are you reading? I clearly listed the reasons why I disagree, and gave anecdotal advice.

This isn't an opinion, it's a fact. Go back and read my post. I will not continue to have a discussion with someone who has the emotional maturity of a child. Go gaslight someone else, it's not going to work on me.

I went back and read it. And my position is the same.

Yes, everyone has a life. Women too. In no way, shape, or form was your response to him substantive on what he was saying. It was a non-sequitur and meant nothing. Except you tried to just broadly label what he said “black and white.” You offered no advice. You were just argumentative. Which is exactly what you did in another thread. Hence me asking you to consider how you’re responding to a guy who has been an asset to this forum for a long time.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

So if she's interested, she will be open ALL WEEK at ANY time you suggest? In other words, if she doesn't agree, she's not interested.

That is the mentality of someone who is thinking in extremes. So how is that not black and white thinking? Since you're so good at speaking for him, you can go ahead and answer that question.

 

[Barrister]

So if she's interested, she will be open ALL WEEK at ANY time you suggest? In other words, if she doesn't agree, she's not interested.

That is the mentality of someone who is thinking in extremes. So how is that not black and white thinking? Since you're so good at speaking for him, you can go ahead and answer that question.

That isn’t at all what he was saying in his post. If that is what you got from it you are misunderstanding. The point was that guys get hung up on whether to ask a girl out on a concrete date/time or generally ask “how does your schedule look” for a certain period of time. He said this matters little despite a lot of analysis by us here at SS and guys in general. The bigger thing that matters is that she’s into you. If she is - she will clear her calendar.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

That wasn't the part of his post I disagreed with. He started to take it further than that.

Look, the reason I take issue with some of these things is because I have extensive experience, and can tell you first hand I used to think like that. But the more women I got with, the more I realize people are individualistic and autonomous.

I would have women tell me they were "busy" and I assumed they weren't interested. All of a sudden next week rolled around and they'd ask me what I was doing for the weekend. I'd have women go on 2 or 3 dates, disappear for a few weeks then come back. I've had women tell me they weren't in a position to date, then a few months later we hit it off.

Maybe certain people screen women differently. I don't assume what a woman's intentions are anymore. I go with the flow. It seems certain guys are hypervigilant to protect their ego against rejection. That's more what I'm getting at it. I understand everyone has a different opinion, I just don't understand why other people can't accept that.

 

[Stuffnu]

My POV,
All the posts are valid. Women with high interest will move mountains but people can get busy with there lives and we shouldn’t be too quick to write them off either. However the two days or so OP had before the follow up text should be chasing other tail. Scarcity is the reason a lot of us are on here and stressing over a single flake. You don’t stress with other options.
The one thing that drives me bonkers is asking “when are you free” It took me a long time to break this habit. “Why don’t you meet me here (common interest) on this day - at this time“. This is how I test them!
if you get no response - you have your answer.
I’m busy with no counteroffer - you have your answer.
I’m busy but offers a counter - interest.
A yes - high interest.
Sometimes in the first 2 scenarios they resurface. But it’s up to them to make it up to you. One success story, a girl who disappeared reached out to me 2 months later. She was busy with a move, yada, yada, yada and sorry - who cares why.
Me: Yeah no problem but you have to make it up to me.
Her: How about dinner?
Me: I’m only interested in dessert.
You can figure out the rest.
Cheers!

 

[Glassguy]

Here you go again with the black and white advice. Just because a woman has interest, doesn't mean she's going to be available all week at the drop of a hat. People have lives. They work, have friends, other plans, are dating multiple people. Not every single woman is going to cater to a man's horniness on demand.

Mods can you keep this guy from hijacking threads? If I wanted to argue about everything I'd turn a current plate into a gf.
@RickTheToad
@samspade
@BackInTheGame78

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

So because someone disagrees with him on an internet forum, he wants to get a moderator involved? Yeah, that's the mindset of a strong minded-alpha male who gets women.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Here you go again with the black and white advice. Just because a woman has interest, doesn't mean she's going to be available all week at the drop of a hat. People have lives. They work, have friends, other plans, are dating multiple people. Not every single woman is going to cater to a man's horniness on demand.

If they are putting other priorities above seeing you, they simply are not that interested. It's not that hard to move things around in your schedule if you really wanted to see someone.

Nobody is that busy that they can't spare a single evening a week.

 

[Glassguy]

So because someone disagrees with him on an internet forum, he wants to get a moderator involved? Yeah, that's the mindset of a strong minded-alpha male who gets women.

Go start your own thread dude. Trust me, I won't comment on it because I don't care.

And yes....I'm a person of processes. The process for someone hijacking threads and constant bickering and arguing is to notify the mods. Don't like it? Go somewhere else. Loveshack is always looking for new members.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Go start your own thread dude. Trust me, I won't comment on it because I don't care.

And yes....I'm a person of processes. The process for someone hijacking threads and constant bickering and arguing is to notify the mods. Don't like it? Go somewhere else. Loveshack is always looking for new members.

I never said I didn't like anything. You are the one asking the mods to get involved because you dislike what I'm saying.

Again, psychological projection at its finest. You can't run from Sigmund Freud.

 

[Sgthaytham]

So another girl got in touch because she found out from mutual friends that I'm leaving to go home to France.

She sent me "But Aaron are you really leaving??"

I replied "Yup. Why do you care?"

She says "Do you have 2 mins?"

Didn't answer, and now she's sent

“I’m sorry I didn’t want to bother you, just to talk to you about what’s happening. You know my door is always open, especially for you. Come when you want”

 

[RickTheToad]

@GreatHornedOwl chill. We're all on the same side here. Everyone has a right to their own opinion.

 

[manfrombelow]

Whether you use "What does your schedule look like" or "Lets go to such and such place at this time".....it doesnt matter as much as you think.

Do you want to know what REALLY matters? Sexual interest level and attraction level. If her interest is super high, she will be open all week and she will certainly make herself free at the time you suggest.

If you have to treat how you ask a chick out like calculus, you're already overthinking things because your gut tells you she isnt as interested in you as you are in her.

Think about that.

The bolded part: She will open HER LEGS all week for you, too, if she likes you enough.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yea but the flake rate on OLD is pretty high. As soon as you reach out first after you meet her face to face. The chase is on and the leverage is already in her corner.
Not debating. I didnt invent power dynamics its just the way it is.

My flake rate on OLD is maybe 2% in terms of meeting once setting a date.

 

[derby1]

If they are putting other priorities above seeing you, they simply are not that interested. It's not that hard to move things around in your schedule if you really wanted to see someone.

Nobody is that busy that they can't spare a single evening a week.

exactly if sofia vegara was hitting me up asking me when im free, im sure Im not gonna tell her how busy my next two weeks are,

im gonna look forward to arranging a night with her asap

 

[TheQ2020]

So I got a text out of the blue last week from a girl I had flirted with at this party 3 weeks ago.

After 2-3 exchanges I set a date and we went out last Wednesday.

Thought it went quite well, good laugh, good conversations, banter, etc... and then 30 mins when I got home I got a text from her thanking me for the great evening and hoping I enjoyed it too.

did you make a serious attempt to **** her?

why the **** are you talking about banter and laughing?

who gives a **** about that?

did you make a serious attempt to **** her?

 

[SW15]

Yea but the flake rate on OLD is pretty high. As soon as you reach out first after you meet her face to face. The chase is on and the leverage is already in her corner.
Not debating. I didnt invent power dynamics its just the way it is.

Are you saying that the flake rate after an in-person first date occurs is high? I agree with that. I think most men have a problem with "one date, no sex, no second date" type dates from swipe apps.

My flake rate on OLD is maybe 2% in terms of meeting once setting a date.

When I used websites and swipe apps in the past, my flake/no show rate for the first date was higher than 2% but not that problematic. The biggest problem for me was the "one date, no sex, no second date" occurrence.

@Sgthaytham (OP) got ghosted on a first date after he met a woman at a party, which counts as either a cold approach or social circle, depending upon the nature of the party.