Ghosted after first date?

[Sgthaytham]

So I got a text out of the blue last week from a girl I had flirted with at this party 3 weeks ago.

After 2-3 exchanges I set a date and we went out last Wednesday.

Thought it went quite well, good laugh, good conversations, banter, etc... and then 30 mins when I got home I got a text from her thanking me for the great evening and hoping I enjoyed it too.

Honestly, nothing made it seem she would fall off the face of the world.

A couple days or so later (yesterday) I sent her a text asking when she was likely to be free next week... no answer.



I haven't sent anything else.

I guess I completely misundertood this.

 

[manfrombelow]

Who cares WHY she ghosted you, because there are tons of reasons. You only need to care that she DID ghost you, which means one thing and one thing only: At that moment, you were not "good" enough for her so she decided she didn't need you.

Your job, hence, is moving on to hitting on other women & forget about this one for now.

 

[Barrister]

These are chicks, brother. Sometimes it just happens and there are an endless set of hypothetical reasons why she dropped off. You need to be talking to a multitude of women so when this kind of thing happens it’s not a big deal to you.

We tend to care more about the hot ones. It’s in our DNA. You can’t let this bother you. Don’t text her again at least for a couple of weeks. Circle back with another text at that time - if you get no response to that one delete the number and onto the next.

 

[Sgthaytham]

These are chicks, brother. Sometimes it just happens and there are an endless set of hypothetical reasons why she dropped off. You need to be talking to a multitude of women so when this kind of thing happens it’s not a big deal to you.

We tend to care more about the hot ones. It’s in our DNA. You can’t let this bother you. Don’t text her again at least for a couple of weeks. Circle back with another text at that time - if you get no response to that one delete the number and onto the next.

she responded. She said she’s definitely up for another date and that she had no reception at all yesterday (bs I think)

I will tell her to let me know when she figures out her schedule and leave it at that.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Who cares WHY she ghosted you, because there are tons of reasons. You only need to care that she DID ghost you, which means one thing and one thing only: At that moment, you were not "good" enough for her so she decided she didn't need you.

Your job, hence, is moving on to hitting on other women & forget about this one for now.

She responded. I will ask her to get in touch when she figures out her timetable for next week.

 

[manfrombelow]

she responded. She said she’s definitely up for another date and that she had no reception at all yesterday (bs I think)

I will tell her to let me know when she figures out her schedule and leave it at that.

So she played dread game (making you WAIT on purpose), don't ask her when she figures out her timetable for next week, but instead you should make a definite date i.e "Let's go out on X at Y". If she agrees, good. If she doesn't, tell her to let you know when she's available.

 

[Barrister]

she responded. She said she’s definitely up for another date and that she had no reception at all yesterday (bs I think)

I will tell her to let me know when she figures out her schedule and leave it at that.

Set a time and date. If it doesn’t work for her then she needs to counter-offer. If none comes she’s clearly low interest. Don’t leave it open ended like this or you will find you will lose out on dates you could have otherwise had.

 

[Sgthaytham]

So she played dread game (making you WAIT on purpose), don't ask her when she figures out her timetable for next week, but instead you should make a definite date i.e "Let's go out on X at Y". If she agrees, good. If she doesn't, tell her to let you know when she's available.

Set a time and date. If it doesn’t work for her then she needs to counter-offer. If none comes she’s clearly low interest. Don’t leave it open ended like this or you will find you will lose out on dates you could have otherwise had.

My inital text, the one she took her sweet time to answer, was "Hey X what's your schedule looking like next week?"

Based on her response, her schedule is unclear at the moment, so I can't exactly pick a date... I work till Wednesday then I have two days off (so Thursday and Friday would be ideal, but I don't know her plans).

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

My inital text, the one she took her sweet time to answer, was "Hey X what's your schedule looking like next week?"

Based on her response, her schedule is unclear at the moment, so I can't exactly pick a date... I work till Wednesday then I have two days off (so Thursday and Friday would be ideal, but I don't know her plans).

Dude she is playing games, you put the ball in her court and you'll never hear from her again outside of more validation text.

Only communicate to set your meeting and GO MEET OTHER WOMEN.

 

[derby1]

Bro theyre lunatics, havent you figured this out yet?

Ive had ones pursue ME after the 3rd date, then have the audacity to ghost me 2 hours later whilst i'm still at bloody work.

Or Your princess is in another castle, theres always one guy whos had his foot in the door longer.

 

[manfrombelow]

My inital text, the one she took her sweet time to answer, was "Hey X what's your schedule looking like next week?"

You never ever ask something like this to a woman you want to fvck. It's something only friends ask of each other.

Instead, use this: "Hey X, let's go to this/that place this Saturday at 8:00 pm?"

When it comes to luring a female out of its cave, ALWAYS make a definite date.

 

[manfrombelow]

Based on her response, her schedule is unclear at the moment, so I can't exactly pick a date... I work till Wednesday then I have two days off (so Thursday and Friday would be ideal, but I don't know her plans).

Buddy, nobody's schedule is "unclear", as well as nobody is ever too busy for things they really want. Your job is to make a DEFINITE date, the rest (accepting it or not) is her job. You don't need to give a fvck about the status of her schedule or anything like that. If she really wants you, she'll find a way to make time for you.

You're still coming from a place of scarcity mindset, because you were still trying to analyze her "schedule" in order to somehow find a "slot" to let yourself in with the hope she'll accept your invitation to a date that you're going to pay for everything. Think about it, buddy, think about it.

 

[manfrombelow]

Problems with most inexperienced men when it comes to dating is that they always "hope" the girl accepts their date offer.

But the correct way is, you give out a date offer, because you want to "share" a bit of your precious time, personality, and awesomeness with her. So you don't "hope" she accepts it, because you know if she refuses to take this "gift", you just pass it onto other women who are more deserved of it. If anyone needs to "hope", it's the woman -> She should hope that you give it to her, not vice versa. This is the right mindset.

 

[Georgepithyou]

OP i can already tell this isn't going to end well. I'm sure your gut feeling is telling you to run far far away right now.

 

[Glassguy]

Whether you use "What does your schedule look like" or "Lets go to such and such place at this time".....it doesnt matter as much as you think.

Do you want to know what REALLY matters? Sexual interest level and attraction level. If her interest is super high, she will be open all week and she will certainly make herself free at the time you suggest.

If you have to treat how you ask a chick out like calculus, you're already overthinking things because your gut tells you she isnt as interested in you as you are in her.

Think about that.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Now this hoe who was cheating on her bf with me has gotten in touch asking "But Aaron are you really leaving??"

 

[SW15]

She initiates or next her.

After all first dates set up through swipe apps or cold approach, see which women send texts to you first following the date. If nothing, then you can text her in 5-7 days. @EyeBRollin enlightened me to this method.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Whether you use "What does your schedule look like" or "Lets go to such and such place at this time".....it doesnt matter as much as you think.

Do you want to know what REALLY matters? Sexual interest level and attraction level. If her interest is super high, she will be open all week and she will certainly make herself free at the time you suggest.

If you have to treat how you ask a chick out like calculus, you're already overthinking things because your gut tells you she isnt as interested in you as you are in her.

Think about that.

Here you go again with the black and white advice. Just because a woman has interest, doesn't mean she's going to be available all week at the drop of a hat. People have lives. They work, have friends, other plans, are dating multiple people. Not every single woman is going to cater to a man's horniness on demand.

 

[Barrister]

Here you go again with the black and white advice. Just because a woman has interest, doesn't mean she's going to be available all week at the drop of a hat. People have lives. They work, have friends, other plans, are dating multiple people. Not every single woman is going to cater to a man's horniness on demand.

Why don’t you, for a change, try contributing something instead of just following Glass around and acting like he has no idea what he’s talking about? The attention seeking gets old. And you especially look silly when you’re flat out wrong.

 

[derby1]

Here you go again with the black and white advice. Just because a woman has interest, doesn't mean she's going to be available all week at the drop of a hat. People have lives. They work, have friends, other plans, are dating multiple people.

Men have lives, passions hobbies & Pursuits/

Women drink alcohol and take selfies