Back on the prowl after 14 month monogamy. Seeking the missing keys

[SargeMaximus]

Some of us feel fighting skills ( verbal and physical ) give you MORE self control. You don't have to get into it with them. Knowing full well you can handle yourself and taking a proper escalation path, you will maintain MORE of your self control than if you cannot fight at all.

That’s a good point. I do want to learn how to defend myself I guess I just wish I didn’t have to. Why can’t people just be chill like me?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That’s a good point. I do want to learn how to defend myself I guess I just wish I didn’t have to. Why can’t people just be chill like me?

There are "groups" which are chill.

But at this time in history everyone from the feminist on forward are "fighting", so you have to learn to handle yourself to maintain your peace and to remain WHOLE. Otherwise people who fight will be backing you up or stealing ground that you already occupy.

For most fighting skills even 6 months in the craft will give you a huge advantage over non-trained individuals. So pick a fighting style and train in it. For verbal, which will keep you out of fights, pick some sort of communication skills or a basic knowledge of communicating politically or debating. Be trained and not an "easy" target.

 

[SargeMaximus]

There are "groups" which are chill.

But at this time in history everyone from the feminist on forward are "fighting", so you have to learn to handle yourself to maintain your peace and to remain WHOLE. Otherwise people who fight will be backing you up or stealing ground that you already occupy.

For most fighting skills even 6 months in the craft will give you a huge advantage over non-trained individuals. So pick a fighting style and train in it. For verbal, which will keep you out of fights, pick some sort of communication skills or a basic knowledge of communicating politically or debating. Be trained and not an "easy" target.

Any suggestions for a poor as **** guy like me? I don’t have money for training and the meals that will be necessary. I been exercising more and pushing my limits and eating healthy on my own but no money for a proper course or gym.

 

[SargeMaximus]

So I had a weird/bad experience last night and this morning. But I have no idea why.

Here's the situation:

****ed a new girl on saturday night and again sunday morning. Feeling like I'm getting a lot of sex lately but the girl I ****ed was a 5 if I'm honest. I just did it because she's 22 and I'm 33 and her pics were much better than she was in person.

Anyhow, this post isn't about her it's about the thin, fit, 7/10, 31 year old I met online sunday. We hit it off immediately and decided to meet yesterday evening. When she showed up I was honestly surprised by how fit and attractive she was. I normally get 5-6's if I'm honest.

Anyhow we hugged as a greeting then we both instinctively put our arms around each other and took a walk while talking. Conversation flowed smoothly and before I know it we're back at her place making out and ripping each others clothes off.

Well, my d!ck wasn't as enthused as I was and didn't get fully hard. I tried to **** her but I just came instead and my d!ck died down.

Tbh this happens from time to time especially if I havent had enough time to recover from sex so I figured I'd stay the night and get hard in the morning like usual and all would be well.

Well I didn't. In fact, I didn't get hard enough for penetration at all.

That's not the weirdest part. The weirdest part was this girl got super determined to get me hard and began grinding on me something fierce. I think I may have bruises. We were soaked in sweat and there was literally a huge damp spot underneath where we were when we got up in the morning. Also, as if it couldn't get any weirder, during the night when she was grinding against me, she said "so do you want to be in a relationship with me?"

Now keep in mind I tell everyone I meet online that I'm non monogamous and am seeing girls regularly. But this was like so crazy so I'm like "Well yes but you barely know me and you know I see other girls too right?" and she's like "Yes well we can date then" I'm like "yeah sounds good."

Anyhow that was during the night. In the morning she grinded on me for what must have been hours, moaning my name and saying "**** me! **** me!" and all to no avail as my d!ck was just not there.

So yeah, strange night and not at all enjoyable for me. The only upside is that this girl seems to want to see me again and has given me her number on the dating app.

I must admit I'm puzzled (especially from such a god-awful sexual encounter) how this girl wants a relationship with me and is like going nuts over me somehow. I'm also puzzled why my d!ck works with a 5/10 but not a 7/10, although that may easily be chalked up to needing more recovery time.

Anyhow, bizarre. What do you guys think?

 

[Lookatu]

Anyhow, bizarre. What do you guys think?

I see two possible things here.
1. If you're used to banging 5's, mentally you might've subconsciously put the 7 on a pedestal and thought about her different. This could've killed your erections.
2. You're simply not sexually compatible with her despite her having high(er) smv. This has happened to a lot of us.

A third possible case is when we get together with a high(er) smv girl that we actually like besides her body, and she has other interesting attributes/personality, we are no longer thinking full on sex mode(one track mind) with them(this can be subconscious). Subconsciously we know we are rushing things and would like it to happen more organically and get to know them and be more comfortable.

But the fact that she's sticking around even after the terrible sex is a good thing and I suspect once you get comfortable with her and get to know her more, you'll be back to normal as far as bedroom performance. My $.02

 

[SargeMaximus]

I see two possible things here.
1. If you're used to banging 5's, mentally you might've subconsciously put the 7 on a pedestal and thought about her different. This could've killed your erections.
2. You're simply not sexually compatible with her despite her having high(er) smv. This has happened to a lot of us.

A third possible case is when we get together with a high(er) smv girl that we actually like besides her body, and she has other interesting attributes/personality, we are no longer thinking full on sex mode(one track mind) with them(this can be subconscious). Subconsciously we know we are rushing things and would like it to happen more organically and get to know them and be more comfortable.

But the fact that she's sticking around even after the terrible sex is a good thing and I suspect once you get comfortable with her and get to know her more, you'll be back to normal as far as bedroom performance. My $.02

Thanks. I think you;re right. Mainly that I feel like I'm rushing it. But I do wish I could go horndog with her just like normal. I'm home now and have a very hard erection, of course I also ate and slept for a bit which could have helped.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Hey guys, hope everyone has had a good year despite the covid craziness.

My year was good, better now that my gf and I broke up. Long story short we hit it off amazingly. Sex more times than I could keep up with to the point where I had to tell her "no" repeatedly if only to save my **** from being destroyed. We moved in together in march and things immediately changed and went downhill. The situation got increasingly unhappy and finally fell apart. Now I'm free and feel great about it.

That said, I find myself craving more.

I've never been good at "game" and went my own way. Did my own thing that often flew in the face of what pua's would say. In short: I do what works for me, but I feel I'm not as effective as I could be. It's a catch 22 because doing pua has never worked for me while doing my own thing hasn't gotten me the full results I want.

I've come to this forum hoping I can learn how to increase my natural game more effectively and hopefully stop doing whatever is killing things for me sometimes.

Thanks for reading.

Welcome to SoSuave!

We are a bit late to the party but tell us how these past few months have been going for you. Any good and bad highlights?

The main thing is that like anything, it takes time and practice for one to master anything or even improve. Patience is key. Just as remaining humble, observing, and asking questions is critical. A man who asks a question is ignorant for 5 seconds, but a man who never asks questions is ignorant for the rest of his life.

Hope that makes sense. We would love to help in any way, shape, or form possible.


Cheers,
Modern Man Advice

 

[SargeMaximus]

Welcome to SoSuave!

We are a bit late to the party but tell us how these past few months have been going for you. Any good and bad highlights?

The main thing is that like anything, it takes time and practice for one to master anything or even improve. Patience is key. Just as remaining humble, observing, and asking questions is critical. A man who asks a question is ignorant for 5 seconds, but a man who never asks questions is ignorant for the rest of his life.

Hope that makes sense. We would love to help in any way, shape, or form possible.


Cheers,
Modern Man Advice

Auto post?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Any suggestions for a poor as **** guy like me? I don’t have money for training and the meals that will be necessary. I been exercising more and pushing my limits and eating healthy on my own but no money for a proper course or gym.

You don't need a lot of money or a gym...

Buy some high quality bands...they are very effective...almost as effective as using weights.

Buy an old army duffel bag and fill it with sand and close it using a zip tie...super effective cheap workouts

Buy a weighted vest and start working out with it on.

Do bodyweight exercises/training programs. Plenty of free ones on youtube.

As far as eating, pretty easy to just get veggies, rice, beans, oatmeal, chicken etc...

None of these are valid excuses so stop using them as a crutch.

 

[SargeMaximus]

You don't need a lot of money or a gym...

Buy some high quality bands...they are very effective...almost as effective as using weights.

Buy an old army duffel bag and fill it with sand and close it using a zip tie...super effective cheap workouts

Buy a weighted vest and start working out with it on.

Do bodyweight exercises/training programs. Plenty of free ones on youtube.

As far as eating, pretty easy to just get veggies, rice, beans, oatmeal, chicken etc...

None of these are valid excuses so stop using them as a crutch.

Righto brah.

 

[SargeMaximus]

So new development I thought I should post with the girl I had ED with:

I have since had a second and sexless date with her.

We were planning to meet tonight and I was going to stay over.

she texted me yesterday saying that it’s supposed to snow today and she knows I don’t like driving in the snow so we should probably reschedule.

I agreed as I don’t like driving in snow storms and tbh I could use a break.

BUT! My cynical PUA mind is telling me she met another guy and doesn’t want me anymore because of my lack of performance in bed. Women truly are merciless when it comes to sex.

Ive also since gone to the doctor and he set me up for tests and ****, but as much as I don’t want to have to at my age (33) I’m thinking the only way to be 100% sure is to just get on viagra or something.

anyone have experience with long term viagra use?
And am I correct to assume this girl has moved on?

the second date we had we kissed hello and goodbye but just watched Netflix without any sex or making out. I’m not really feeling it with this girl but again my PUA brain is telling me I need to get to a place where I can **** on demand.

thoughts?

thanks guys.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So new development I thought I should post with the girl I had ED with:

I have since had a second and sexless date with her.

We were planning to meet tonight and I was going to stay over.

she texted me yesterday saying that it’s supposed to snow today and she knows I don’t like driving in the snow so we should probably reschedule.

I agreed as I don’t like driving in snow storms and tbh I could use a break.

BUT! My cynical PUA mind is telling me she met another guy and doesn’t want me anymore because of my lack of performance in bed. Women truly are merciless when it comes to sex.

Ive also since gone to the doctor and he set me up for tests and ****, but as much as I don’t want to have to at my age (33) I’m thinking the only way to be 100% sure is to just get on viagra or something.

anyone have experience with long term viagra use?
And am I correct to assume this girl has moved on?

the second date we had we kissed hello and goodbye but just watched Netflix without any sex or making out. I’m not really feeling it with this girl but again my PUA brain is telling me I need to get to a place where I can **** on demand.

thoughts?

thanks guys.

Get a different girl. If the energy you two have together won't allow an erection to occur it can give you ED. Get someone you're attracted to thats way into you. It'll fix your issue.

You shouldn't try to force thru an incompatible "chemistry". It just does not work and will kill your c0ck confidence.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Get a different girl. If the energy you two have together won't allow an erection to occur it can give you ED. Get someone you're attracted to thats way into you. It'll fix your issue.

You shouldn't try to force thru an incompatible "chemistry". It just does not work and will kill your c0ck confidence.

But she is cute. I do want to **** her but in person it’s stale

 

[SargeMaximus]

At the same time I do want a girl this cute who is also as you say “way into me” helps so much to have that. The biggest turn on is when a girl is so into me but I want cute girls to be

 

[mrgoodstuff]

At the same time I do want a girl this cute who is also as you say “way into me” helps so much to have that. The biggest turn on is when a girl is so into me but I want cute girls to be

If she likes you let her give you head. Then fvck her after she brings you to erection. The thing is if the energy between you two won't allow an erection that it will fvck with your erections. So it's just your body telling you she's not it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

At the same time I do want a girl this cute who is also as you say “way into me” helps so much to have that. The biggest turn on is when a girl is so into me but I want cute girls to be

Cuter girls will be into you. Sometimes we have to work our way up pvssy mountain. Take what we can until we can do better. And its like money in that if one bank wants to give you money so will others.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Cuter girls will be into you. Sometimes we have to work our way up pvssy mountain. Take what we can until we can do better. And its like money in that if one bank wants to give you money so will others.

Thanks, I know you’re right but I just don’t like to be a victim of my body and it’s moods. The goal is to consciously be able to get what I want not be at the whim of my or anyone’s nature.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Decided not to text that girl. Gonna let her text me first but she hasn't yet so that's probably it.

I'm getting into the celibate territory where I focus so much on status that I lose effectiveness. In years past I wouldn't text first, always waited for the girl to come to me, and that left me a virgin for years.

I think the status ideas are toxic and don't at all mirror reality where being the submissive and even "chasing" one can lead to sex whereas the nature of females is not to make the first move, putting you with your "status plays" on an island.

At the same time, you can't be desperate.

Just some musing for today.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Update: The cute girl just texted me and we have plans to meet and try for sex again on Monday. I still don’t know why but possibly her age, my fitness compared to other men my age, my looks, sense of style, and in a perverse way, my NOT getting very hard for her might make me a challenge.

we also are enjoying watching a show she is really into so that may be part of it. Feel free to weigh in guys! This whole situation is new to me.

 

[SargeMaximus]

****ed a new girl last night. It was very intense. We ****ed 3 times. I came twice. I'm tired now. I start going back to the gym today as well and then tomorrow I'm gonna meet with that fit girl. I hope I am able to get a boner and **** her this time.