Should I drop my main plate?(UPDATE: Dropped)

[BackInTheGame78]

Just wait for her to reach out at this point. I bet it doesn't take long. I would also let her be the first to make your next set of plans on top of that. Make her be the one to get something going at this juncture since she has withdrawn.

As of right now I haven't heard from her today. If I don't it will be the first time since we started messaging that I haven't gotten a text on a day.

She messaged me yesterday wishing me a Happy Valentines Day and telling me about her son's hockey game, etc and I responded 3 or 4 hours later teasing her about only getting a text and no flowers and a box of chocolates.

I think at this point I am just going to take a little break from her and see what happens.

 

[Chubb46]

She doesn't know I am seeing other women because this topic never came up so I never brought it up.

What's up with this "plate" nonsense? The word is Woman... you get that mindset women are just "plates" then you're doomed to nothing more than meaningless interactions until your 80 and it doesn't work any longer.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Thats advice? Never be attached to a woman? Then what's the point of life?

Point of life? What are you talking about? Wait, is this like a prank? Are you the girl this fellow is talking about? Cause if you are, that's creepy.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Technically he didn't say he wanted an LTR with her. So there's that.

I see the potential of it with her and I probably would go for it. Honestly most of my LTRs just kind of happened and were assumed, I never really get into these "what are we discussions".

 

[Barrister]

The wondering what's up is proof enough he is human and has concerns. Feelings are normal, a really good thing.

True. But just because he is wondering what she is thinking does not mean he wants to be exclusive with her. Those are two completely different things. You are idealistic when it comes to women. That is very clear. I can guarantee though that if he reached out to tell her "how he feels" that this would instantly make him less attractive in her eyes.

There is nothing wrong with wanting an LTR. But that isn't what he wants (I think). And regardless, your advice to reach out and spill his feelings and ask her why she is withdrawing (which I understand is what you are suggesting so forgive me if I am misinterpreting) would be a terrible move in this specific instance.

 

[Chubb46]

First off, NEVER EVER take dating advice from a woman. A woman never has your best interest, but hers and hers alone. If this girl is worth it, she will make an effort. DO NOT EVER put effort into having someone be part of your life when that person is not making the slightest effort and playing hot and cold games. You are better than that and are meant for more. You have a path, walk it. NEVER be distracted by women.

Cheers,
Modern Man Advice

How about dating advice from a human who knows what respect, kindness and compassion is. You have this one life. Either be real , or cheat yourself and lead an empty life calculating strategies. Toward another human!!?? Not cool

 

[BackInTheGame78]

True. But just because he is wondering what she is thinking does not mean he wants to be exclusive with her. Those are two completely different things. You are idealistic when it comes to women. That is very clear. I can guarantee though that if he reached out to tell her "how he feels" that this would instantly make him less attractive in her eyes.

There is nothing wrong with wanting an LTR. But that isn't what he wants (I think). And regardless, your advice to reach out and spill his feelings and ask her why she is withdrawing (which I understand is what you are suggesting so forgive me if I am misinterpreting) would be a terrible move in this specific instance.

Yeah...I already know if I did that I might as well have just put her in a plane and flew her 3000 miles away with how far away I would have pushed her.

 

[Chubb46]

True. But just because he is wondering what she is thinking does not mean he wants to be exclusive with her. Those are two completely different things. You are idealistic when it comes to women. That is very clear. I can guarantee though that if he reached out to tell her "how he feels" that this would instantly make him less attractive in her eyes.

There is nothing wrong with wanting an LTR. But that isn't what he wants (I think). And regardless, your advice to reach out and spill his feelings and ask her why she is withdrawing (which I understand is what you are suggesting so forgive me if I am misinterpreting) would be a terrible move in this specific instance.

It would save alot of time and typing wouldn't it?

 

[Chubb46]

Yeah...I already know if I did that I might as well have just put her in a plane and flew her 3000 miles away with how far away I would have pushed her.

But she was thoughtful enough to have a toothbrush for you?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

How about dating advice from a human who knows what respect, kindness and compassion is. You have this one life. Either be real , or cheat yourself and lead an empty life calculating strategies. Toward another human!!?? Not cool

First off, you are not even making a true effort to understand our advice to this man. Who is talking about being disrespectful and not compassionate? It is clear you are responding to everyone's advice with YOUR agenda. That, my dear, is NOT cool.

 

[Barrister]

It would save alot of time and typing wouldn't it?

I don't mind going back and forth with you. I am drinking beer after a long workday and watching Impractical Jokers.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

But she was thoughtful enough to have a toothbrush for you?

So your advice is when someone is backing away to go run after them? C'mon now. That is classic nice guy behavior that brings people to this forum in the first place. I already know not to do that. Trust me...I have tried that a lot before in my younger days and it never worked once.

 

[Chubb46]

First off, you are not even making a true effort to understand our advice to this man. Who is talking about being disrespectful and not compassionate? It is clear you are responding to everyone's advice with YOUR agenda. That, my dear, is NOT cool.

The word "plate" is disrespectful for starters. Woman is not a horrible word.

 

[Black Widow Void]

You mentioned that she doesn't know that you have other plates. Seems fair enough. After all, If you're not in a relationship, your under no moral obligation to volunteer additional info.

This isn't a question I'm asking you to answer openly, but might be something to consider. I'm assuming that you also haven't asked her if she's seeing anyone else (usually, if one party brings it up, the other party will ask the same question). This might explain her recent lack of consistency.

Also, keep in mind (and I unfortunately speak from personal experience) that sometimes when something becomes more scarce, we can find ourselves developing an over-appreciation. Quite often, it's mentioned on this forum about scarcity with a woman will create more interest. I agree with this, but also believe that this same tactic (whether intentional or unintentional) can and does apply to men as well.

Good luck with this situation. I've been in "limbo" before and it's no fun place.

 

[Barrister]

Yeah...I already know if I did that I might as well have just put her in a plane and flew her 3000 miles away with how far away I would have pushed her.

Right - you already know you need to S & D. She'll come around within a couple of days and you will feel better.

 

[Chubb46]

So your advice is when someone is backing away to go run after them? C'mon now. That is classic nice guy behavior that brings people to this forum in the first place. I already know not to do that. Trust me...I have tried that a lot before in my younger days and it never worked once.

I guess it boils down to what you really want

 

[Barrister]

The word "plate" is disrespectful for starters. Woman is not a horrible word.

I don't mean any disrespect here - but are you a woman? Serious question.

 

[Chubb46]

So your advice is when someone is backing away to go run after them? C'mon now. That is classic nice guy behavior that brings people to this forum in the first place. I already know not to do that. Trust me...I have tried that a lot before in my younger days and it never worked once.

So this forum has all the answers. Where are the stats. How many men have moved on from here to a meaningful loving relationship? Or is it all "have the upper hand advice"

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You mentioned that she doesn't know that you have other plates. Seems fair enough. After all, If you're not in a relationship, your under no moral obligation to volunteer additional info.

This isn't a question I'm asking you to answer openly, but might be something to consider. I'm assuming that you also haven't asked her if she's seeing anyone else (usually, if one party brings it up, the other party will ask the same question). This might explain her recent lack of consistency.

Also, keep in mind (and I unfortunately speak from personal experience) that sometimes when something becomes more scarce, we can find ourselves developing an over-appreciation. Quite often, it's mentioned on this forum about scarcity with a woman will create more interest. I agree with this, but also believe that this same tactic (whether intentional or unintentional) can and does apply to men as well.

Good luck with this situation. I've been in "limbo" before and it's no fun place.

It is possible she is seeing someone else or at least talking with someone else I guess. She has very little time to actually meet up tho due to her having her kids and with the amount of stress she is under at work and her kid starting up hockey and having to go to games on the days when she would normally be free I find it hard to see how she would.

But like I said, it is possible.

I guess the thing that irks me a little is that we live under 10 minutes from each other. How busy can a person really be that they can't see someone that close? At some point it just means they don't want to or aren't willing to.

 

[Chubb46]

I don't mean any disrespect here - but are you a woman? Serious question.

I'm a human. A human who believes those types of labels are derogatory