Should I drop my main plate?(UPDATE: Dropped)

[Chubb46]

Almost 5 months.

Ok...five months isn't like an insignificant thing. I came in on the middle of this, sorry for butting in...but if you missed Valentine's day, that's kinda hurtful. Woman are funny that way. She's Probably wondering if you care or not. I would just call her up and talk, texting gets everything twisted and kind of cold. Before cell phones, ya had to fall asleep on a house phone with someone you cared about. Texting took a lot away. I would say talk to her. You seem interested in knowing what's wrong, so you care that much right. Talking is always best not the no text two days, let phone ring four times before picking up or wait hour after first text mumbo jumbo

 

[Chubb46]

I honestly don't think that is it.

Five months then, yes trust me that's it.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Okay "dainty teacup".. is it ok that i call you that? Teacup?

Feel free to do so. This is at no expense to me, but it if offers you some fleeting sense of empowerment... by my guest.

 

[Barrister]

@BackInTheGame78 - I understand you disagree that missing Valentine's Day is the reason she is withdrawn. But I think it might be. That said -- still employ S&D and do not reach out to her even though we now have multiple posters saying to reach out. IF she reaches out and wants to tell you that you not doing anything for V-Day hurt her feelings, THEN talk to her. But don't be the first one to reach out. Give some space and distance and wait. You know the drill.

 

[Chubb46]

Feel free to do so. This is at no expense to me, but it if offers you some fleeting sense of empowerment... by my guest.

Ok great. You are hereby declared T.C. like the guy from A-team right?

 

[Black Widow Void]

Even women that mock Valentines day, seem to have this private delightment of this day. From a practical standpoint, I get what you were saying about Sunday not being realistic (due to her schedule etc...) but as we know, women don't always say what they're thinking.

If she's mentioned you to friends and/or co-workers, there's a chance that the women have spoken about their valentines plans. And it's also possible that her friend-girls have also said ..."So.. what do you and backinthegame78 have planed for Valentines?" or... "What did he get you?" Women being the prideful creatures that they are with other women... well, this may have been a little humiliating for her. Of course, I could be off base. You know your girl and I don't, but it's something to possibly consider.

 

[Chubb46]

@BackInTheGame78 - I understand you disagree that missing Valentine's Day is the reason she is withdrawn. But I think it might be. That said -- still employ S&D and do not reach out to her even though we now have multiple posters saying to reach out. IF she reaches out and wants to tell you that you not doing anything for V-Day hurt her feelings, THEN talk to her. But don't be the first one to reach out. Give some space and distance and wait. You know the drill.

Sorry new here.. what does S&D mean space and distance right. Also how do i know what color pill i am. Am i allowed to choose a color or are they assigned?

 

[Barrister]

Sorry new here.. what does S&D mean space and distance right. Also how do i know what color pill i am. Am i allowed to choose a color or are they assigned?

I assign you the deepest hue of blue there is for your pill @Chubb46 . Just playing . (But really ha)

 

[Max Baker]

@BackInTheGame78 - I understand you disagree that missing Valentine's Day is the reason she is withdrawn. But I think it might be. That said -- still employ S&D and do not reach out to her even though we now have multiple posters saying to reach out. IF she reaches out and wants to tell you that you not doing anything for V-Day hurt her feelings, THEN talk to her. But don't be the first one to reach out. Give some space and distance and wait. You know the drill.

I didn't clarify. If he is to talk to her then by all means let her reach out. He is the prize after all.

All I'm saying is if she does, its ok to talk about it.

 

[Chubb46]

Even women that mock Valentines day, seem to have this private delightment of this day. From a practical standpoint, I get what you were saying about Sunday not being realistic (due to her schedule etc...) but as we know, women don't always say what they're thinking.

If she's mentioned you to friends and/or co-workers, there's a chance that the women have spoken about their valentines plans. And it's also possible that her friend-girls have also said ..."So.. what do you and backinthegame78 have planed for Valentines?" Women being the prideful creatures that they are with other women... well, this may have been a little humiliating for her. Of course, I could be off base. You know your girl and I don't, but it's something to possibly consider.

Valentine's day can be any day. I say write a letter and give it to her. Letters are more meaninful than cards and chocolates and dinners and very unique and would be the ultimate expression of interest

 

[Chubb46]

I assign you the deepest hue of blue there is for your pill @Chubb46 . Just playing . (But really ha)

I want to be Titanium white just because it was Bob Ross's favorite color

 

[Stoic]

Here's my experience after spinning plates for some time now.

Plates have a shorter shelf life than exclusive relationships.

After awhile, she wants more and you aren't all the way invested and she senses it. It was okay for a few months and then after awhile, she starts to think shes wasting her time when she could be in a serious relationship.

That's been my experience.

Best of luck man.

 

[Chubb46]

I didn't clarify. If he is to talk to her then by all means let her reach out. He is the prize after all.

All I'm saying is if she does, its ok to talk about it.

Who is the prize?

 

[Chubb46]

Here's my experience after spinning plates for some time now.

Plates have a shorter shelf life than exclusive relationships.

After awhile, she wants more and you aren't all the way invested and she senses it. It was okay for a few months and then after awhile, she starts to think shes wasting her time when she could be in a serious relationship.

That's been my experience.

Best of luck man.

Watch when you spin plates to much, one might fall and hit you in the head and disable you, then what plate would want to take care of you since they are all just plates.

 

[Barrister]

Watch when you spin plates to much, one might fall and hit you in the head and disable you, then what plate would want to take care of you since they are all just plates.

@Chubb46 - before this night began did you tell yourself "hey I think I will go on SoSuave tonight and just be a contrarian to literally every poster on there"? I mean I have to admit you have been entertaining - in a good way.

 

[Igetit!]

It is possible she is seeing someone else or at least talking with someone else I guess. She has very little time to actually meet up tho due to her having her kids and with the amount of stress she is under at work and her kid starting up hockey and having to go to games on the days when she would normally be free I find it hard to see how she would.

Whenever the issue of "time" comes up.....ESPECIALLY when related to not having enough of it to see someone,and it's from THE WOMAN'S end,my "spider sense" starts to tingle.

If she's ALWAYS been hard pressed for time and this is nothing new,then ok. But if she JUST RECENTLY started not being able to see you,but there's been no discernable reason as to why she's suddenly "so busy"......

well.........

I guess the thing that irks me a little is that we live under 10 minutes from each other. How busy can a person really be that they can't see someone that close? At some point it just means they don't want to or aren't willing to.

I used to date a chick who had friends who lived a stone's throw from where I stayed. I could literally see their front door from my front door. We used to go out,everything seemed good. Then all of the sudden,she seemed to come by less and less...made excuses whenever I tried to spend time with her. Her excuse? "I'm busy". There were actual times when I'd see HER CAR over to her friend's apartment for hours at a time.....but yet.........she was "too busy" to see me. It SUCKED.

However.......I DID kinda stumbled upon a way to turn this around and re-ignite her interest. But let me say this.....

This is a WOMAN. She's a person.....a HUMAN BEING. It's not a math problem with a predictable outcome.........not an equation with a predictable solution. So,what worked for me may not work for you. I also don't know the particular dynamics of your "relationship" with her.


What worked for me.....well,I changed MY BEHAVIOR towards her. Not drastically. I don't really feel like typing all this out,so I'll just give you a link to where I broke it all down at. Only thing is......she has to still have SOME TYPE of interest in you. Long as it ain't zero,it should help. I typed this out OVER 10 years ago.....over 11 really,but I believe it's still relevant.



https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ing-to-a-womans-emotions.156533/#post-1550301


Hopefully it can be of some help to you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Whenever the issue of "time" comes up.....ESPECIALLY when related to not having enough of it to see someone,and it's from THE WOMAN'S end,my "spider sense" starts to tingle.

If she's ALWAYS been hard pressed for time and this is nothing new,then ok. But if she JUST RECENTLY started not being able to see you,but there's been no discernable reason as to why she's suddenly "so busy"......

well.........




I used to date a chick who had friends who lived a stone's throw from where I stayed. I could literally see their front door from my front door. We used to go out,everything seemed good. Then all of the sudden,she seemed to come by less and less...made excuses whenever I tried to spend time with her. Her excuse? "I'm busy". There were actual times when I'd see HER CAR over to her friend's apartment for hours at a time.....but yet.........she was "too busy" to see me. It SUCKED.

However.......I DID kinda stumbled upon a way to turn this around and re-ignite her interest. But let me say this.....

This is a WOMAN. She's a person.....a HUMAN BEING. It's not a math problem with a predictable outcome.........not an equation with a predictable solution. So,what worked for me may not work for you. I also don't know the particular dynamics of your "relationship" with her.


What worked for me.....well,I changed MY BEHAVIOR towards her. Not drastically. I don't really feel like typing all this out,so I'll just give you a link to where I broke it all down at. Only thing is......she has to still have SOME TYPE of interest in you. Long as it ain't zero,it should help. I typed this out OVER 10 years ago.....over 11 really,but I believe it's still relevant.



https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ing-to-a-womans-emotions.156533/#post-1550301


Hopefully it can be of some help to you.

She always has been pressed on time. I have only seen her more than once in a week one time. Usually its 7-10 days. Had a time when there was a 3 week break due to her being quarantined also.

So now adding her son's hockey into the whole thing causes her to be pressed even more.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Here's my experience after spinning plates for some time now.

Plates have a shorter shelf life than exclusive relationships.

After awhile, she wants more and you aren't all the way invested and she senses it. It was okay for a few months and then after awhile, she starts to think shes wasting her time when she could be in a serious relationship.

That's been my experience.

Best of luck man.

I think it might be the opposite. There are times when I feel like I might be wasting my time....

 

[Igetit!]

She always has been pressed on time. I have only seen her more than once in a week one time. Usually its 7-10 days. Had a time when there was a 3 week break due to her being quarantined also.

So now adding her son's hockey into the whole thing causes her to be pressed even more.

Ok,that's fair. Well if there's legitimate reasons as to why she can't see you,and YOU are able to account for all those reasons....what's the problem?

And why would you say,"Something seems off",as you said in the original post when you can account for all those reasons?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Ok,that's fair. Well if there's legitimate reasons as to why she can't see you,and YOU are able to account for all those reasons....what's the problem?

And why would you say,"Something seems off",as you said in the original post when you can account for all those reasons?

Well...I mean OK...so she has things to do after work...what about before? What's stopping her from coming over and cooking breakfast with me? Maybe taking a quick shower with me? I mean there is always a way to see someone if you really want to.