Should I drop my main plate?(UPDATE: Dropped)

[BackInTheGame78]

So I have been seeing my main plate for almost 5 months. In truth I think we are more than just plates, we talk to each other daily, sleep over at each other's place when we see each other, she has a toothbrush for me at her place, etc.. Also when I say we text each other daily it's usually a few texts throughout the day not all day long...but the past few weeks something seems off. Sex wasn't the issue, we pretty much have sex everytime we see each other, including last time.

I know she has a lot going on at work where she is pretty high up and some things have been really stressing her out and her son just started up hockey again so she has been doing a lot with that. Haven't seen her in 2 weeks, which has happened before but I kind of get the sense that I am now a burden that she can't handle at this time.

My birthday is coming up and she knows it but hasn't mentioned anything about it in regards to doing something for it. I kind of feel some type of way about it if I am being honest...is it wrong to think that if you have been dating for that long that they should figure something out or want to do something for you?

I almost feel like I am accepting being a 0 priority in her life and in some ways feel like I am disrespecting myself by accepting this. Am I overreacting? Do I just need to take a step back and chill?

She has admitted that she internalizes a lot of things when she is stressed and kind of shuts down to focus and get things done.

I haven't asked her to do anything since last week when she ended up not being able to due to work stuff(she works late a lot) and don't plan to at this point but I am wondering if I should just tell her this isn't working for me and to get back in touch if things change or if I should just wait things out for a little while and see if things change.

I am dating a couple of other women at this point but I don't see anything long term possible with them like I do woth this one.

Advice in this situation? I haven't acted needy, never double text, and don't cry about her not having time or anything like that. I have been pretty chill about it.

 

[Barrister]

You need to withdraw since she’s withdrawing. S & D. She has withdrawn so you withdraw. My guess is she texts you pretty quick after you’ve withdrawn for a couple of days and things go back to normal.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You need to withdraw since she’s withdrawing. S & D. She has withdrawn so you withdraw. My guess is she texts you pretty quick after you’ve withdrawn for a couple of days and things go back to normal.

I have been doing the same...texts have been pretty much once a day the past 4 or 5 days.

Withdrawn as don't text for a few days?

 

[Chubb46]

Why do you care about anything if you call her "a plate". And if you see things possibly long term why would you date other women?
Women aren't stupid and can read men, maybe she knows you see other women, honestly who would put effort into a thoughtful gesture for your birthday.. knowing that.Just being honest. women aren't plates, they are women. That word needs to be removed from the program.

 

[Barrister]

Withdrawn as don't text for a few days?

I would only text her if she texts you first. Just standard mirroring. You are a veteran here so I think you know this deep down and just need to hear it from us. Again, my guess is that after she sees you have backed off a bit and given her space she is going to come on strong again. It is prettty standard. Only way this does not occur is there is another man in the picture at this point.

 

[Chubb46]

Why is there an angle for every situation on this forum, withdraw, spin plates, drop plates, get professional pics for OLD.. i mean what about just expressing your feelings, that's the whole reason we have them. Honesty. This is not chess.

 

[Barrister]

Why do you care about anything if you call her "a plate". And if you see things possibly long term why would you date other women?
Women aren't stupid and can read men, maybe she knows you see other women, honestly who would put effort into a thoughtful gesture for your birthday.. knowing that.Just being honest. women aren't plates, they are women. That word needs to be removed from the program.

From what @BackInTheGame78 is describing this sounds like a plate who is a semi-LTR at this point. Now, maybe she is pissed he is seeing other women and is close to "breaking." But from what he has described she is treating this as a LTR already if she has provided a toothbrush to him at her place. She may force him to choose soon though whether he continues to see other women if she is aware he is.

 

[Chubb46]

How does a person have genuine feelings for one, considering them a possible LTR yet spreading themselves emotionally, mentally, and physically about. What's the point?

 

[Barrister]

Why is there an angle for every situation on this forum, withdraw, spin plates, drop plates, get professional pics for OLD.. i mean what about just expressing your feelings, that's the whole reason we have them. Honesty. This is not chess.

It's called human nature, brother. This is how men and women react to each other. It isn't chess - it isn't that precise. But there are certain things you can do that certainly increase your chances of success with women. Your description of there being an "angle" seems to be a very negative mindset about simple reality.

 

[Chubb46]

No it's not. Human nature? If both are game to seeing other people.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

From what @BackInTheGame78 is describing this sounds like a plate who is a semi-LTR at this point. Now, maybe she is pissed he is seeing other women and is close to "breaking." But from what he has described she is treating this as a LTR already if she has provided a toothbrush to him at her place. She may force him to choose soon though whether he continues to see other women if she is aware he is.

She doesn't know I am seeing other women because this topic never came up so I never brought it up.

 

[Chubb46]

To increase success with women is being your genuine self. If your seeking a LTR. So basically people are telling this guy to withdraw for a few days and what? Go out with other women? Obviously if he's asking for advice he should care. But yet how can you let yourself fully care if you messing with multiple women? How's that genuine? What happened to just being genuine?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I would only text her if she texts you first. Just standard mirroring. You are a veteran here so I think you know this deep down and just need to hear it from us. Again, my guess is that after she sees you have backed off a bit and given her space she is going to come on strong again. It is prettty standard. Only way this does not occur is there is another man in the picture at this point.

She always does. If I text her she texts back at some point...we never double text each other....its always like tennis.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

So I have been seeing my main plate for almost 5 months. In truth I think we are more than just plates, we talk to each other daily, sleep over at each other's place when we see each other, she has a toothbrush for me at her place, etc.. Also when I say we text each other daily it's usually a few texts throughout the day not all day long...but the past few weeks something seems off. Sex wasn't the issue, we pretty much have sex everytime we see each other, including last time.

I know she has a lot going on at work where she is pretty high up and some things have been really stressing her out and her son just started up hockey again so she has been doing a lot with that. Haven't seen her in 2 weeks, which has happened before but I kind of get the sense that I am now a burden that she can't handle at this time.

My birthday is coming up and she knows it but hasn't mentioned anything about it in regards to doing something for it. I kind of feel some type of way about it if I am being honest...is it wrong to think that if you have been dating for that long that they should figure something out or want to do something for you?

I almost feel like I am accepting being a 0 priority in her life and in some ways feel like I am disrespecting myself by accepting this. Am I overreacting? Do I just need to take a step back and chill?

She has admitted that she internalizes a lot of things when she is stressed and kind of shuts down to focus and get things done.

I haven't asked her to do anything since last week when she ended up not being able to due to work stuff(she works late a lot) and don't plan to at this point but I am wondering if I should just tell her this isn't working for me and to get back in touch if things change or if I should just wait things out for a little while and see if things change.

I am dating a couple of other women at this point but I don't see anything long term possible with them like I do woth this one.

Advice in this situation? I haven't acted needy, never double text, and don't cry about her not having time or anything like that. I have been pretty chill about it.

It is extremely important you haven't shown neediness or different with her. If she's got a lot going on, the last thing she needs is you showing this frustrates/worries/concerns/confuses you. Keep your emotions in check. The last thing a woman needs is another girlfriend, she's probably got a lot of those laying drama on her. Not you, you are rock solid and composed. So good stuff on that.

However, between us men, just by reading your post, we can tell you are becoming attached to her. Don't. Even after 1 or 2 years of dating. Never be attached to a woman, she should never be your point of focus. She is only a compliment to your dope life (hopefully you have one if not, get busy).

Now, we do not want to ignore your emotions and concerns. Obviously, they are real. And yes, it can be confusing and frustrating to feel something is changing. However, the reality is that relationships always have phases and ups/downs. Let her be and give her space to allow her to get her stuff settled. Space is key here. No one misses someone that is always there for them. Be there when you can/want AND when she is ready for it. Don't chase and have stuff going on in your life, this will show her she is replaceable, easily replaceable. Look up "competition anxiety" in women and try to ignite that in her by continuing on seeing other women.

If she is able to get her stuff together and chase you, then play it cool and enjoy the time with her.

Hope this helps.

Modern Man Advice

 

[Chubb46]

She doesn't know I am seeing other women because this topic never came up so I never brought it up.

If you see her as a possible LTR why are you wasting your time on others?

 

[Barrister]

She always does. If I text her she texts back at some point...we never double text each other....its always like tennis.

Just wait for her to reach out at this point. I bet it doesn't take long. I would also let her be the first to make your next set of plans on top of that. Make her be the one to get something going at this juncture since she has withdrawn.

 

[Barrister]

If you see her as a possible LTR why are you wasting your time on others?

Technically he didn't say he wanted an LTR with her. So there's that.

 

[Chubb46]

It is extremely important you haven't shown neediness or different with her. If she's got a lot going on, the last thing she needs is you showing this frustrates/worries/concerns/confuses you. Keep your emotions in check. The last thing a woman needs is another girlfriend, she's probably got a lot of those laying drama on her. Not you, you are rock solid and composed. So good stuff on that.

However, between us men, just by reading your post, we can tell you are becoming attached to her. Don't. Even after 1 or 2 years of dating. Never be attached to a woman, she should never be your point of focus. She is only a compliment to your dope life (hopefully you have one if not, get busy).

Now, we do not want to ignore your emotions and concerns. Obviously, they are real. And yes, it can be confusing and frustrating to feel something is changing. However, the reality is that relationships always have phases and ups/downs. Let her be and give her space to allow her to get her stuff settled. Space is key here. No one misses someone that is always there for them. Be there when you can/want AND when she is ready for it. Don't chase and have stuff going on in your life, this will show her she is replaceable, easily replaceable. Look up "competition anxiety" in women and try to ignite that in her by continuing on seeing other women.

If she is able to get her stuff together and chase you, then play it cool and enjoy the time with her.

Hope this helps.

Modern Man Advice

Thats advice? Never be attached to a woman? Then what's the point of life?

 

[Chubb46]

Technically he didn't say he wanted an LTR with her. So there's that.

The wondering what's up is proof enough he is human and has concerns. Feelings are normal, a really good thing.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

To increase success with women is being your genuine self. If your seeking a LTR. So basically people are telling this guy to withdraw for a few days and what? Go out with other women? Obviously if he's asking for advice he should care. But yet how can you let yourself fully care if you messing with multiple women? How's that genuine? What happened to just being genuine?

First off, NEVER EVER take dating advice from a woman. A woman never has your best interest, but hers and hers alone. If this girl is worth it, she will make an effort. DO NOT EVER put effort into having someone be part of your life when that person is not making the slightest effort and playing hot and cold games. You are better than that and are meant for more. You have a path, walk it. NEVER be distracted by women.

Cheers,
Modern Man Advice