The real problem isn't OLD or Cold Approach, its you.

[r4zorsharp]

We've seen some threads lately complaining about Online Dating or Cold Approach. Infact, we get tons of threads about Cold Approach and Online Dating and its been that way forever.

But lets be real, the problem isn't online dating. It's YOU. For others, online dating is working tremendously. Got dudes bragging about the 700 matches they have, showing each other (literally my friends). I personally don't do online dating because thankfully I have not had to yet, but it's always in the back of my mind if things get to be a bit of a drought, i'll easily jump on it. Infact, I used to be pretty good with it back in the day.

Just because online dating isn't working for YOU, doesn't mean its broken or its not worth it. The problem is, online dating is all about PORTRAYING WHO YOU ARE. If you can show your INDIVIDUAL VALUE , PERSONALITY and SOCIAL VALUE .. Then you can do REALLY WELL with Online Dating. The other part about that is just having good quality pictures. If you're a guy who just has nothing but pictures of himself in weird selfies, or even just general photos of you just standing in various settings, it's not going to do much. It may if you're quite attractive and have great quality photos, but women also want to see if you have friends, what kind of friends, what kind of settings, maybe something that relates to your passion, whether traveling, boating, watches, .. Everything is analyzed very quickly. Your sense of style, you're hairdo, your face, the expressions of your friends in pictures, the expressions or expressionless face you have in pictures, whether you SMILE or not.

Now what about Cold Approach? Look, the thing is this. It's not JUST Cold APPROACH. Its APPROACH in general. Believe it or not, the #1 way people thing to do meet women is, through MUTUALS/SCHOOL/WORK/ Social EVENTS (parties, events, gatherings, weddings, potlucks, family events). So it's not necessarily COLD approach. It's all APPROACH.. and it works Great if you're actually the extroverted type and have enough things on your schedule you can go to to MEET PEOPLE.

I think the problem with alot of guys, and maybe especially older guys, is that you want things to come easy. You found yourself in a place in life where you don't really have much going on, and you kind of let go of what intrinsically makes you unique/personality.. and yet you expect things to be easy for you.. to find women. The fact is, it should be easy regardless if you actually put yourself out there. If you don't, you cant expect **** to fall into your lap from the sky.

Some of you simply don't know what's wrong with yourselves.. because you have a hard time seeing yourself and your life as a whole. That's why its important to have outside perspectives to help you. Infact, that's why people hire coaches.

 

[Romanemp22]

You're theory on online platforms are contradictory. How could it be your fault if you look too intimidating to some women, good looking etc? That's not you're fault but rather her poor decision making.

 

[r4zorsharp]

You're theory on online platforms are contradictory. How could it be your fault if you look too intimidating to some women, good looking etc? That's not you're fault but rather her poor decision making.

Nothing I said is contradictory. Your logic is severely flawed. So you are saying because a woman thinks you're too intimidating or good looking, its her poor decision making? listen, there's not 1 or 2 women on these apps, there's millions. If you think that every girl is just intimidated or thinks you're too good looking and that's why they're not interested in you, you got some severe issues with rational logical thinking. Why is good looking even a criteria for a girl not choosing you? You understand how dumb that sounds? "SHE DIDNT CHOOSE ME, BECAUSE IM TOO GOOD LOOKING!" LMAO , stop with the nonsense man. you're 23 but you have a lot to learn.

All i'm really hearing is "its hard for me, and i dont know why!". All you need is some friends who are succesful in online dating to analyze what you're doing wrong or tlel you what they think is wrong with you. You just dont know till you know.

 

[Romanemp22]

Nothing I said is contradictory. Your logic is severely flawed. So you are saying because a woman thinks you're too intimidating or good looking, its her poor decision making? listen, there's not 1 or 2 women on these apps, there's millions. If you think that every girl is just intimidated or thinks you're too good looking and that's why they're not interested in you, you got some severe issues with rational logical thinking. Why is good looking even a criteria for a girl not choosing you? You understand how dumb that sounds? "SHE DIDNT CHOOSE ME, BECAUSE IM TOO GOOD LOOKING!" LMAO , stop with the nonsense man. you're 23 but you have a lot to learn.

All i'm really hearing is "its hard for me, and i dont know why!". All you need is some friends who are succesful in online dating to analyze what you're doing wrong or tlel you what they think is wrong with you. You just dont know till you know.

Lol at this one. The good looking was just an example, there is even more examples, and I didn't say all women but some so your response doesn't make much sense.

Also where did you read that I'm referring specifically to myself? Every guy, like myself, have various cases of OLD, some successful some not so don't get too butthurt when someone have different opinion.

And overall generalizing that every failed attempt or relationship is you're fault is a very toxic mindset to have.

 

[Bigpapa]

Lol at this one. The good looking was just an example, there is even more examples, and I didn't say all women but some so your response doesn't make much sense.

Also where did you read that I'm referring specifically to myself? Every guy, like myself, have various cases of OLD, some successful some not so don't get too butthurt when someone have different opinion.

And overall generalizing that every failed attempt or relationship is you're fault is a very toxic mindset to have.

you Can not really say that you do not have any success on online dating because you are too good looking . Sure some women will be intimidated , but some will not be

but as a rule , if you are a good looking guy why would you spend a lot of time in online dating ? Online dating is fun , but the quality of women is lower than what you can easily get in the real life by just saying hi

 

[r4zorsharp]

you Can not really say that you do not have any success on online dating because you are too good looking . Sure some women will be intimidated , but some will not be

but as a rule , if you are a good looking guy why would you spend a lot of time in online dating ? Online dating is fun , but the quality of women is lower than what you can easily get in the real life by just saying hi

The funniest thing is good looking guys have the most success in online dating. It's been proven.. so i have no idea where that logic comes from. I kinda get what he's saying though but it's just flawed.

Definitely would say the quality can be lower than what you get with women who don't participate in OLD. Especially on say Tinder. Bumble and Hinge might be a bit different. Coffee Meets Bagel is the most different as its mostly business professionals/middle class professionals.

 

[r4zorsharp]

Aka get over it.....puzzies

Sorry you feel that way. But take it as you will. The thing is, why do Jocks always treat other dudes the way they do? It's because Jocks simply have more testosterone, usually get women much more easier, and thus know their mindset is far different than the rest, especially the nerds and wimps.. So since they can't relate with the weaker mindsets, of course it'll feel like they're talking down to them.. But in essence they're not being "jocks", are being "docuhebags".. They lift weights, get involved with sports and things that naturally attract women. They spend more time on their goals. They just resonate on a different plane than the rest of the kids in "highschool". The thing is, society is a big form of highschool in itself. Look at the mindset of alot of the people who have it hard withw omen? Where would they fit in? somewhere between the nerds and social outcasts or the dudes who always complain about girls being hoes/sluts/bitches.

I simply cannot relate with alot of you dudes who *****, moan, complain,, blame women.> Sorry . I'm trying my best to help you. Some of you can't even handle my bravado / tough love so its no surprise you can't deal with women in the street or at night clubs or online.

 

[SW15]

Believe it or not, the #1 way people thing to do meet women is, through MUTUALS/SCHOOL/WORK/ Social EVENTS (parties, events, gatherings, weddings, potlucks, family events). So it's not necessarily COLD approach. It's all APPROACH.. and it works Great if you're actually the extroverted type and have enough things on your schedule you can go to to MEET PEOPLE.

You are correct on the #1 way in which people meet their relationship partner. However, that means of meeting is diminishing and has been since the 1980s.

 

[corrector]

The fact is, it should be easy regardless if you actually put yourself out there.

Put yourself out where exactly? (covid)

 

[SW15]

Put yourself out where exactly? (covid)

Walking and hiking paths is the #1 place to meet women right now.

Some cities have beach game.

I was at a grocery store today near a big box gym. That big box gym had a more crowded parking lot than I would have expected. There might be some gym game possibilities.

 

[Bigpapa]

Put yourself out where exactly? (covid)

There are people all over . They are not as highly dense but you should still be able to do a couple of approaches

I did today a couple of approaches in the park , I usually have a drink in my hand so I can lower my mask and girls see my face . If they like you , they will also lower their mask so you can see their face

 

[corrector]

The OP is not suggesting those type of approaches. He's suggesting super-spreader venues.

 

[Georgepithyou]

The problem with online dating ia that you need to significantly lower your standards to get action, IRL will always have better quality women.

Going about your day, doing what you want and approaching women as you go is great. Spending your entire afternoon with the sole purpose of cold approaching dozens of women is not the best use of your time.

Work smarter not harder.

 

[Barrister]

The problem with online dating ia that you need to significantly lower your standards to get action, IRL will always have better quality women.

Going about your day, doing what you want and approaching women as you go is great. Spending your entire afternoon with the sole purpose of cold approaching dozens of women is not the best use of your time.

Work smarter not harder.

Not everyone can just “go about their day to meet women.” There’s some limits. If you live in a major metropolitan area and are socially active this approach can certainly make sense. Doesn’t mean you need to never use OLD or cold approach - and for those of us not in a major metropolitan area OLD and cold approach (outside normal day activities) can help supplement IRL.

 

[r4zorsharp]

Put yourself out where exactly? (covid)

Covid is not stopping anything for a lot of people. There's still events and things going on especially if you have a good group of friends.. my friends still throw little get togethers and stuff and try to keep distance and keep things civil. People are still going out, shopping, walking in parks, malls, etc

But, the real thing is this: if you had been putting yourself out there for a while like myself, you should have already had many seeds you planted and been cooking.. Thus having a few different girls to work with.

 

[Barrister]

Put yourself out where exactly? (covid)

Where are you getting that OP was suggesting for us to go to “super spreader” events? It was more of a general purpose message that a lot of posters need to hear rather than continue to make excuses.

 

[SW15]

Not everyone can just “go about their day to meet women.” There’s some limits. If you live in a major metropolitan area and are socially active this approach can certainly make sense. Doesn’t mean you need to never use OLD or cold approach - and for those of us not in a major metropolitan area OLD and cold approach can help supplement IRL.

Even in a major metropolitan area and a singles dense area during non-pandemic times, you're going to need to linger in a grocery store longer than you normally would to get in enough approaches to set up dates.

 

[corrector]

Covid is not stopping anything for a lot of people. There's still events and things going on especially if you have a good group of friends.. my friends still throw little get togethers and stuff and try to keep distance and keep things civil. People are still going out, shopping, walking in parks, malls, etc

But, the real thing is this: if you had been putting yourself out there for a while like myself, you should have already had many seeds you planted and been cooking.. Thus having a few different girls to work with.

Well that's exactly is what is spreading the virus. Where I'm living the numbers have gone up and is expected to skyrocket come January. Hospitals in some jurisdictions are already overwhelmed. The OP's advice appears directed to especially older users who are even more susceptible to complications from the virus, who are especially starting from ground zero. If you are a younger person and have groups of friends and don't care about the virus then there is no issue with that, but then again the initial post wasn't directed there as you read on.

 

[coyote_astro]

But, the real thing is this: if you had been putting yourself out there for a while like myself, you should have already had many seeds you planted and been cooking.. Thus having a few different girls to work with.

That's true.
One exception to this is people like me who happened to relocate during COVID; then everything is harder. Not trying to b!tch or complain about it, just share my experience.
In my case I moved from a small town to a metro area, so not all hope is lost. It's just much more challenging.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

This isn't that hard honestly