It’s worse when women cheat

[justhe_justin]

I think the focus should be how guys should be continuing to be men, not be content, or get lazy, or make mistakes that would give reasons for their women to lose attraction/desire for them. I mean they did have the attraction/desire for the men at some point to get married, right?
So something happens in the course of time whether it be a year or 10+ years for that to happen. Most of that I believe can be traced to the guys action or inaction. Just like muscles, we always need to be on top of it and work at it. Once you become lazy or complacent is where the trouble starts. As they say, always lead and be the head of your household. Once you give that up or let the dynamics change, you've already lost. My $.02

Yes, and in addition I can also remind women of the LOYALTY they preach about so much. When things get hard you dont just jump ship to the next guy.

I would urge them to remember the WEDDING VOWS they took "in sickness and in health... For rich or for poor... Til death to we part". If people actually stuck to their word there would be a lot less cheating and divorce.

It should matter whether guy's performance slips over a 10-20-30 year period. Marriage is supposed to be foe the long all. Unconditional love means through the good an the bad.

Being sarcastic here because i gave up on the concept of love years ago. From what I see 'true love' is bull****. It's all circumstial. When things are good the 'love' flows and the second things get rough suddenly the love vanishes and the wedding vows are null.

Just saying when a woman decides to cheat the fault is 100% on her, and not her husband for not 'pleasing' her or making her feel 'loved'. Why do people always blame the guy?

 

[justhe_justin]

women always preach loyalty ,or faithfulness at first stage , but you as a man have to know better than that, im at the end of my second LTR live-in.
she told me ''oh i dont cheat , why would i, there is no point i would just leave''
couple months down the road i caught her , what was the point she could have just left like she said?

only way to combat this is to be proactive and avoid LTR's in the first place. or pick better prospects. and keep plates spinning in background , you dont have to act on plates or cheat(if you gone be purple pill do it right -AMS) but they should still be spun and dropped accordingly

Thank you for sharing your story

 

[justhe_justin]

Advice from the old lady:

Cheating happens because one partner makes the decision to do so (to cheat). In so doing they betray and utterly disregard their partner. Period. It is the ultimate disrespect to the partner. The ‘why’ doesn’t matter. There are 1001 reasons why. So what.

It’s a character issue. It means the cheater is a deceiver, a liar, etc. Male or female.

That’s it.

If you are in a committed relationship like a marriage at some point an opportunity will present itself if you are attractive. That’s a FACT. It’s what do you in those moments reveals who you are.

I was married 15 years. Traveled for business out of state almost every week. Lots of hotel nights and restaurant meals alone. Myriad opportunities to cheat, in LA, NYC, MIA, you name it. I’m hot. Always been hot. Men approach me constantly, even now, lol.

I never betrayed my husband. I never cheated. Not even close. And he would never have known. I just didn’t do it. Not even when the relationship was falling apart at the end. Now we also had an incredible sex life, even through the end...but still.

And we also divorced for a total cost of $1750.00 USD. Less than 2K. We sat down, divided everything up, discussed custody and living arrangements and so on and then took everything to a lawyer, who went over a bunch of stuff we hadn’t talked about...we agreed, papers were signed and the whole thing was over and done in 60 days. Simple.

We were trust based in the marriage (no betrayal) and trust based in the divorce. As a result we get along well, our kids are not horribly screwed up over it, and the outcome has been good.

I cannot over emphasize the importance of character.

But relatively few people have character...and will not tell themselves no when tempted.

Just some thoughts.

Why did you get a divorce? No cheating, incredible sex... Just curious

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice to the old lady.
Women don't have a high Libido like men that's why they are the selective sex while men would bang anything.
You're right. A woman who desires you will fvck you frequently but their desire is different. This desire is enabled by the right man not by every man. Men naturally must be able to perform on almost any woman. We almost constantly feel the desire to spread our seed.

From that perspective I agree. And I observe this with the playboys and players I know personally. The hornier they get the less choosy they become. True.

 

[justhe_justin]

I don’t think there’s truly a way to know that. You can’t read huffpost, and wealthy single mommy, then have the verdict stand that women cheat more often. I’ve read a lot more articles that state men do. And then some that it’s even. But those are only taken from sample groups, not the real numbers.

In my view? I would guarantee men cheat more often than women. But the numbers are increasing with women, and still men. 60/40 would be my guess.

How can you make this guarantee?

 

[BeExcellent]

Why did you get a divorce? No cheating, incredible sex... Just curious

He abdicated the masculine role in the marriage which over time eroded my respect for him as a man. You can read my story in an old post called How to Spot a Unicorn. It’s a long thread but my story is in there. PM me if questions. I’d rather not type it all out again...I tried everything to salvage things.

 

[flowtheory]

How can you make this guarantee?

Well technically there is no guarantee. It’s just an educated conclusion based on all the stats and articles I’ve come across and years of hearing issues within relationships and through various modes of media.

Also depends when you want to take the studies back to - years.
I think with the boost of technology and websites which condone cheating, it leaves great availability for lonely women and men to cheat when they otherwise wouldn’t. As it’s all emotional fuelled within that moment. The hunt.

But pre-technology life? Men definitely cheated more if I had a million dollars to put down on it.

If you don’t want a guarantee? It’s 50/50 and that would be a safe bet. There crappy women and men out there. But there’s also would rather get cut up in pieces before they betrayed another.

 

[justhe_justin]

Well technically there is no guarantee. It’s just an educated conclusion based on all the stats and articles I’ve come across and years of hearing issues within relationships and through various modes of media.

Also depends when you want to take the studies back to - years.
I think with the boost of technology and websites which condone cheating, it leaves great availability for lonely women and men to cheat when they otherwise wouldn’t. As it’s all emotional fuelled within that moment. The hunt.

But pre-technology life? Men definitely cheated more if I had a million dollars to put down on it.

If you don’t want a guarantee? It’s 50/50 and that would be a safe bet. There crappy women and men out there. But there’s also would rather get cut up in pieces before they betrayed another.

Ok, I have a lot of evidence to support the claim that women cheat more. MODERN studies.

 

[justhe_justin]

Unicorns are a myth. Thats called Oneitis

True shyt

 

[flowtheory]

Ok, I have a lot of evidence to support the claim that women cheat more. MODERN studies.

From huffpost. Okay. Believe your dogma. All women are scum. Good call. Make that your opening line on bumble or match

 

[justhe_justin]

From huffpost. Okay. Believe your dogma. All women are scum. Good call. Make that your opening line on bumble or match

By your logic, you are using the same method I am, yet my is invalid and yours is right?

I'm simply pointing out the flaw in your logic.

 

[Lookatu]

Yes, and in addition I can also remind women of the LOYALTY they preach about so much. When things get hard you dont just jump ship to the next guy.

I would urge them to remember the WEDDING VOWS they took "in sickness and in health... For rich or for poor... Til death to we part". If people actually stuck to their word there would be a lot less cheating and divorce.

It should matter whether guy's performance slips over a 10-20-30 year period. Marriage is supposed to be foe the long all. Unconditional love means through the good an the bad.

I agree with you there but ultimately, unless you are a feminist, it is for us males to provide leadership, structure, discipline, order, food, comfort, security, etc. And if we mess up, we need to pick ourselves up or get back on the path to providing those things. The woman has to give us that chance too by being loyal and following their vows - for better or for worse. However if any guys gives up on those things and still expects a woman to stick around or desire him, he's delusional at best and deserves what he has coming to him.

I do agree that women need to stick with us through thick and thin and vice-a-versa but these days the internet has made it so easy to look for alternate options rather than try to work it out with your partner.

And the reason why women may end it more easily or cheat is because females can get any simp or thirsty dude so easily that will comfort and agree to their views vs what guys can get. This just compounds the rate of divorce and cop outs in relationships and marriages IMO.

 

[BeExcellent]

No matter how String gaslights me I did not cheat. I don’t cheat.

Women with character do not cheat. They give an opportunity (or many) to correct...

Then they leave. I will leave before I will cheat.

Always. It’s what people with character do.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Some women want it both ways:
To be treated as an equal,
unless playing the female card is advantageous.

This posting reminds me of the same double-standard
"look at me I'm alpha"
"I'm just a boy, it's worse when women cheat."

I've learned to accept that most women will avoid ownership of their offenses.

Do I also need to make concessions to some of you male forum members as well?

 

[flowtheory]

By your logic, you are using the same method I am, yet my is invalid and yours is right?

I'm simply pointing out the flaw in your logic.

You haven’t pointed out any flaw.
We have different methods of preceding before making blanket generalizations - which you love to do.
You use pop culture websites which are written for gossipy types. Take a look on google a scholar for better content. Not silly blogs.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You guys clearly misunderstood my initial response in this thread @Baibars and @stringpuller go back and read again.

I’m saying cheating is NOT OK under any circumstances no matter what.

That means I do not care why a woman might cheat...it is NOT OK for a woman to cheat. Period. Ever.

You guys must have skimmed and not read the post. Don’t cheat. That’s my stance. Male or female. People who cheat have no character.

And Baibars women do have high sex drive...if they have desire. I only get involved with men for whom I have desire. And usually I am the one with the higher sex drive. I’ve never turned a man I desire down for sex within a relationship. Not ever.

Men who complain about low or no sex drive are with women who aren’t desirous of him. Hard painful truth but truth.

Men need to get better at sorting out whether women are really into him or whether she is putting on a show to catch him for some reason. Be utterly noncommittal for a while with women (spin plates etc.) to figure that out.

This is 2 very different things (cheating and low libido) but they can be related. Neither is good and both go back to her character....

Essentially this: Pick women with good character who truly want to fvck you. Many problems solved in so doing....

I can't ever say I was with a woman who didn't want to have sex with me and initiated it frequently. My last GF wanted it all the time to the point one time we were at a party at her house and her whole family(maybe 20 people or so with kids) was over and outside grilling and hanging out and she pulled me upstairs for a quickie in the summer with the windows open...that ended up not really being a quickie...

When I went on vacation with her and her kids we were in a timeshare that was a studio and I was banging her every morning while the kids were sleeping and we kept an eye to see if any of them moved...then at night we would go into the bathroom and get it on there while they were sleeping...

The whole point is if a woman wants to fvck you they will not care what stands in their way, they will do it...

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Commitment is as deep as the convenience you provide.

 

[metalwater]

women always preach loyalty ,or faithfulness at first stage , but you as a man have to know better than that, im at the end of my second LTR live-in.
she told me ''oh i dont cheat , why would i, there is no point i would just leave''
couple months down the road i caught her , what was the point she could have just left like she said?

only way to combat this is to be proactive and avoid LTR's in the first place. or pick better prospects. and keep plates spinning in background , you dont have to act on plates or cheat(if you gone be purple pill do it right -AMS) but they should still be spun and dropped accordingly

the vetting process. we/I don't know what to screen for until we learn the hard way. think hard.. something we saw in her that now we know would disqualify and either we did not know before or we ignored due to greed.

 

[BeExcellent]

Lol silly string.

 

[metalwater]

But relatively few people have character...and will not tell themselves no when tempted.

Men should live by codes, they should choose the ones they want and then follow them.