My point on SMV is that you aren't worth what you are, but what you can get. That's the nature of any market. Your dirty socks aren't worth a million dollars, just because one rich pervert is willing to give you that much for them. If two or more bidders are willing to pay that much for your dirty socks, though, then you can claim that as their market value, but you still shouldn't expect to get that much, as a rule.
What I was getting at was that women can end up divorced and miserable, because the "quality" of the men pursuing them for sex misleads them as to their actual SMV. A man may think he rates 9s, because he's a powerful Hollywood producer, who mounts starving wannabe starlets, on a weekly basis; but, the truth is that those women are all physically repulsed by him, and spends hours in the shower, and years in therapy, just trying to get his stench off of their bodies, and the image of him mounting them out of their minds. So, is his SMV actually determined by what he can get? No. All his conquests deeply regret submitting to him.
That may be an extreme example, but it illustrates the point. I had a very odd-looking, rail thin friend. He did very well with women who were waaaay more attractive than he was, because he was very aggressive and relentless. He had very few repeat performances, despite his success, though, because the women he pursued saw him as beneath them. They just gave in to him. They certainly didn't want to have his babies, and tie themselves permanently to him. They didn't even want to spend the night.
In the context of this thread, SMV is particularly tied to replacement value. Can the OP replace his wife, and trade up? Can his wife replace him, and trade up? What can they each to expect to get, in a second marriage, if they end this one?
The wife can probably get a different diick every night. That's not even in question, but can she replace her husband with one of higher value...better looking, more masculine, higher earner, high social status, willing to marry her? How many of those guys is she likely to find, if she leaves her husband?
What about the OP? What kind of woman can he reliably expect to replace his wife with? A more loyal and honest one, he should hope...if nothing else.
Ultimately, though, a man's goal in marriage is sex, and a woman's goal in sex is marriage. For men, the sex act is complete when we expell life from our bodies, in the form of sperm; but, for women, the sex act isn't really complete until she expells life from her body, in the form a fertilized egg...nine months later.
What does a man want in a woman? He wants a woman he would WANT to marry, whether he wants to get married or not.
What does a woman want from a man? She wants a man whose children she WANTS to have, whether she wants to have children or not.
That's why I say that a woman's actual SMV isn't determined by the quality of men willing to have sex with her, but by the quality of men she finds acceptable who actually want to marry her.
A man's actual SMV, conversely, isn't determined by the quality of women he can get into bed, but by the quality of women who experience the primal urge to be impregnated by him.