She friendzoned me after 3 dates (41yo woman)

[Jacob40]

Some great advice, OP. Too bad you're not listening to any of it.

What? me? I am listening to it and learning. What makes you say I'm not?
You have like two posts here that are both negative in each thread.

 

[kVA]

What? me? I am listening to it and learning. What makes you say I'm not?
You have like two posts here that are both negative in each thread.

Make that three, Grasshopper. You asked for advice, and couple of these fellas knocked it out of the park for you. My advice to you is to listen.

You're welcome.

 

[Jacob40]

Make that three, Grasshopper. You asked for advice, and couple of these fellas knocked it out of the park for you. My advice to you is to listen.

You're welcome.

Hello but you didn't answer my question? Why do you think I'm not listening homie? I read all the advice. I haven't contacted that woman again or anything. I'm not taking advice from you especially with only two posts here. Your welcome newb.

 

[kVA]

Hello but you didn't answer my question? Why do you think I'm not listening homie? I read all the advice. I haven't contacted that woman again or anything. I'm not taking advice from you especially with only two posts here. Your welcome newb.

Anytime, cvuky.

 

[Jacob40]

Anytime, cvuky.

What a great answer. Thanks for contributing nothing to this thread. Go back to your room and play some video games

 

[kVA]

You are a weak man, son. Good luck, you're going to need it.

 

[Jacob40]

You are a weak man, son. Good luck, you're going to need it.

You should give up your weak pointless posts. You are the one that's weak. Look in the mirror

 

[kVA]

Seriously, your estrogen levels are way too high... Even your mom tells me she's worried about you. Go see a doctor and get help. You'll feel better. Plus Testosterone supplements will help you lose those moobs.

 

[Jacob40]

Seriously, your estrogen levels are way too high... Even your mom tells me she's worried about you. Go see a doctor and get help. You'll feel better. Plus Testosterone supplements will help you lose those moobs.

Admins. Can we get him banned? This guy is of no help.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I just checked on my scale, I'm at 26% 255lbs, which I know is high but I'm 6'1" so don't look that much overweight. The old broad was 5'11". I started back at the gym with a trainer to slim down again. I plan to get back down to under 200lbs, and also gain some muscle. I think this may have contributed to the friend zone. Although she doesn't exercise and is no way in shape, and on her profiles, she states that she is a few pounds over.

Toddz, yeah I think with this woman I did move too slow, even though she said at the end of the 3rd date, she "wants to take it slow". I'm just amazed that at her age, she was a coward to just text me to be friends. And that she got so upset at me posting on social media about how she put me in the friendzone, etc. Her EX must have really did something bad to her, to despise a man like that for one minor thing and then block me.

Anyway, that dating site I joined recently, POF, has nothing but washed up old women and mostly fake profiles. Not sure how it is on the guy side, but I'm sure she'll find another guy quick. Every time I do a dern search for other women, her profile pops up too. I still have my privacy set so if I view her profile she won't know. I'm pretty sure if she has run a search, that she has seen my profile too.

But forget her. Once I get back in good shape, I'll get new pictures uploaded to the dating site, which should help. Also at the gym, this 20-something that works there keeps chit-chatting with me. I'm not sure what's up with her yet. Certainly I wouldn't think she is attracted to me. Maybe she is looking for a free dinner.

When a woman tells you she wants to take it slow its because she feels 0 attraction to you.

 

[Jacob40]

When a woman tells you she wants to take it slow its because she feels 0 attraction to you.

Well that may have been the case. But it looks like she wants to meet again. She contacted me tonight on the dating app and asked if I want to meet up and talk about what happened. The 0 attraction was only due to my slowness. If I act faster this time if we meet again it may go somewhere.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well that may have been the case. But it looks like she wants to meet again. She contacted me tonight on the dating app and asked if I want to meet up and talk about what happened. The 0 attraction was only due to my slowness. If I act faster this time if we meet again it may go somewhere.

Meet herr and escalate. She obviously must like you in some way but she probably feels let down and disappointed that you didn't do more

 

[Igetit!]

But it looks like she wants to meet again. She contacted me tonight on the dating app and asked if I want to meet up and talk about what happened.

Well that's weird......I've never heard of a "friendzone" like that before.

What did she mean when he said talk about "what happened"......did she mean the three dates you two had,or the remark you made about how she likely went out with another guy when she told you she went to the chick-flick alone?


That's weird. If she's asking to meet up again,there MUST BE some type of interest on her part.....there HAS TO BE. Otherwise,you two could just talk and clear the air by communicating on the app,or by texting......I can't see you two meeting up,getting everything straightened out between you two,then just going your separate ways.

The 0 attraction was only due to my slowness. If I act faster this time if we meet again it may go somewhere.

I agree......but you can't move TOO FAST,otherwise you'll come off as weird and make her uncomfortable. Yes,you need to be more aggressive/sexual......show interest physically,but if your behavior strays too far from how you were on the first three dates,it'll seem out of the blue and MAY weird her out.

So proceed with CAUTION.

 

[Speculator E]

Well that may have been the case. But it looks like she wants to meet again. She contacted me tonight on the dating app and asked if I want to meet up and talk about what happened. The 0 attraction was only due to my slowness. If I act faster this time if we meet again it may go somewhere.

Congratulations. She still sounds BPD though. Not that it's bad, but you should educate yourself so you know what you're getting yourself into. This sounds like the push and pull cycle that common with BPD.

Sometimes, when a BPD start to feel like they are falling in love it triggers their fear of abandonment and they auto-reject you because of their fear.

 

[Jacob40]

I think she is BPD now. Well we met up over the weekend. She was irate about the whole incident and went on a rant about it. I just let her blow off steam, and then I told her to chill and that she was overreacting to one single facebook post and blowing it out of proportion. She let me tell my side and then she calmed down a bit. I moved my chair right next to her and made a few moves and told her how sexy those jeans looked on her while I rubbed her inner leg. We had a short kiss. She really seemed to be turned on at that point.

But after awhile of talk she brought up the subject again about being only friends again. I put my foot down and flatly told her outright, that I was in no way interested in being only friends with her. I told her I was looking for a mature adult relationship. She just sat there quiet for a couple minutes while I finished my drink. I think she was surprised I said that. I told her thanks for meeting up, we both paid our tabs separately then left.

Over the last few days, I've seen her view my dating profile several times. I'm not sure why she would view it when she has zero interest in being more than friends.

 

[lizardking82]

I will give it to you straight, OP: no matter how old you are or what your details are as a man, if a 41 year old woman friendzones you, you need to step it up in every direction.

A 41 year old woman is absolutely post wall, cannot be more than 4-5 if she is top, top maintenance with gym and genetically lucky and all that. If a 4 or 5 friendzones you...my friend, you should not be asking if you should try again, you should go to work with your problems.

 

[Jacob40]

I will give it to you straight, OP: no matter how old you are or what your details are as a man, if a 41 year old woman friendzones you, you need to step it up in every direction.

A 41 year old woman is absolutely post wall, cannot be more than 4-5 if she is top, top maintenance with gym and genetically lucky and all that. If a 4 or 5 friendzones you...my friend, you should not be asking if you should try again, you should go to work with your problems.

She is genetically lucky which is why she looks better than a lot of the other washed-up women on the same dating site. She is no where near a 4-5, but at least a 7. Post Wall doesn't matter to me. I could care less about having kids as long as I find someone that I'm happy to spend life with. I'm stepping it up at the gym.

 

[corrector]

A 41 year old woman is absolutely post wall, cannot be more than 4-5 if she is top, top maintenance with gym and genetically lucky and all that. If a 4 or 5 friendzones you...my friend, you should not be asking if you should try again, you should go to work with your problems.

But I thought biggoal says that 49 year old grandmas are hb9s. That means 41 year old women must be hb10s because they are younger.

 

[Jacob40]

But I thought biggoal says that 49 year old grandmas are hb9s. That means 41 year old women must be hb10s because they are younger.

Haha hb9s. Most of them on pof seem to think they still look like a 20yr old super model. They think they can still get a super hot athletic guy as a partner. Lol.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Both of us in our 40's. I think she was just out of a long marriage but not sure when it ended. I went out with a new friend three times. First date was a nice lunch and drinks at a nice restaurant. I paid for everything. We talked for several hours and everything went great. Got each others phone numbers and started texting every other day. She sent me another picture of herself which I gave her some compliments. In fact I'd occasionally give her compliments because I truly liked her.

Second date we went for a walk in the park with her dogs for a couple hours. This went well too. She said to definitely keep in touch and text her. We both kept in touch with each other for several days.

Then I asked her if she'd like to go to a comedy show. I knew she liked comedy shows. She was enthusiastic and said this time she'd buy the tickets. So I bought the drinks and food which was a lot more than the tickets she bought. She said she had the most fun time and laughing she had in a long time. Although at one point during the show she seemed very closed-in and engrossed with the comedian. So I took her hand and she said that was sweet, and we held hands for the rest of the show. At the end of the third date, she said she wanted to take it slow, which I was ok with. We both left for the night separately and texted for a couple days.

Then on Saturday evening, I texted her to see how she was doing. She replied she was at the movies seeing a "chick flick". She said she didn't think anyone would go with her, so she went alone. I told her to have fun, because I had to work that evening. Later that night I texted how the movie went and she said she liked it.

Then on Sunday morning, I text her something about another movie. She never replied until next day, Monday morning. She said....that after 3 dates, she felt friends were the best thing for her, and that after a lot of reflection she didn't see any chemistry that she should by now. She only felt friendship. She went on and on about being honest with her feelings, etc. I told her thanks for letting me know and I appreciated her telling me and wished her the best.

Then it all went down hill from there....The next night, someone on my facebook page was asking how my date went. All I replied with was that I was put in the friend zone, and that I thought she was out with another guy on Saturday at that "chick flick". I had the message up for about 5 minutes, when I thought it wasn't right to type that, so i deleted it. I didn't even use any names. She apparently was watching my account, because she saw the message and immediately replied back to me that I was "immature", and that she wasn't out with anyone on Saturday and went by herself to the movies. She said she was very hurt. I tried to tell her I was sorry and tried to apologize, but she wouldn't listen. She said our values were different and that she wouldn't even consider a friendship now.

I told her I was confused, because our 3 dates went so great, especially the last one. It really surprised me that she would make an abrupt decision like that after just 3 dates. She blocked me on facebook. I sent her one final text telling her that I was truly sorry. I told her that if sometime in the future you would allow me to explain everything that I would be open to talking to her about it.

And that's the end for now. One thing I noticed is that even though when I would compliment her, she would tell me thanks. But she never once told me what she liked about me or even complimented me once. I had asked her one time if she would like to talk on the phone sometime to let me know. She said ok, but we never talked. Even if it was true that she was alone at the movies, I don't understand why she blew up and got so upset about one thing on facebook that I deleted. You would think she would have some courtesy and let something slide once. Everyone does something stupid once in their lives. And at 40yr+, it is strange for someone to blow up like that and just block you on facebook like a child instead of speaking to someone in person about it. She didn't even have the nerve to tell me face to face that she only saw me as a friend. She had to text that to me.

I doubt I'll hear back from her from my last text, but who knows. Any thoughts why she would have blew up so much over me posting she was perhaps out with another guy? I deleted it within 5 minutes of posting. Kind of immature of her at her age to block someone on facebook for this one thing. Although she facebook blocked me, I still have her phone number. But I already sent a "final" text to her. Do you think a month or more from now, I should try to follow up again or just leave her be?

40s? Dude, thats disgusting.

Top form SMV 18-23. Da **** is 40? Lmfao and she 3dates you with LJBFs?

Not doing it right kuz.

Hotter girls are turning 18 19 20 21 every day. None who can compete at 40 with top form.

You fun goofed. Strp game up.