She friendzoned me after 3 dates (41yo woman)

[Robert28]

She wanted you to make a move sexually and gave you 3 chances to do so but you didn't. How many chances do you need?

Did you even kiss or make out with her?

Your behavior after she friendzoned you was especially weak. Why would you agree to be her friend when that isn't what you wanted?

While he did make many mistakes I don’t think him escalating sexually with her would have changed anything, I’ll tell you why. I know women like this. Fresh out a divorce or “bad relationship” where they play the victim and tell you about their ho hum downtrodden story. What they’re doing is buttering you up to feel sympathy to become a future friend or orbiter, someone that can do things for them. They never planned on dating you but they’ll dangle sex in front of you like a farmer dangles a carrot in front of a mule. They’re looking for some guy that has no options and will entertain them and take them on dates and spend money and attention on them to “make them feel better about themselves because they just got out of a bad relationship”. This woman is probably still hung up on her ex husband and she’s lonely and manipulative to the highest order.

 

[sosousage]

its because of your personality

 

[2Rocky]

I had a female friend who started dating after a long dry spell....reluctantly. Met a guy and told me she made him wait 6 WEEKS before they had sex, and she wanted him to have a clean STD test. Older couple but Active and liked the same things.

She was pretty happy with him but ended up dumping him , I think because of stress in her parenting role more than anything else he did.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

While he did make many mistakes I don’t think him escalating sexually with her would have changed anything, I’ll tell you why. I know women like this. Fresh out a divorce or “bad relationship” where they play the victim and tell you about their ho hum downtrodden story. What they’re doing is buttering you up to feel sympathy to become a future friend or orbiter, someone that can do things for them. They never planned on dating you but they’ll dangle sex in front of you like a farmer dangles a carrot in front of a mule. They’re looking for some guy that has no options and will entertain them and take them on dates and spend money and attention on them to “make them feel better about themselves because they just got out of a bad relationship”. This woman is probably still hung up on her ex husband and she’s lonely and manipulative to the highest order.

Great d!ck changes minds like few other things.

 

[Trump]

I don't understand why everyone is calling her a nutcase.

In sosuave, anytime a girl doesn’t give a guy what he wants, she is called a nutcase.

comedy show is something a girl does with her gay friends. movie = gay friend

What is something a girl does with her straight friend?

 

[corrector]

It doesn't sound like she was yours to lose. These women are probably on anti-depressants or are taking some meds, are seeing a shrink to get over a divorce she's 100% at fault with, and probably has a toxic past.

BTW: Why did you write that on facebook? I don't think that helped.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It’s ok OP she has low interest. Move on. Get a little bitter.

A little bitterness is good. You’ll start feeling violated when bvtches waste your time. As you should...

 

[Robert28]

In sosuave, anytime a girl doesn’t give a guy what he wants, she is called a nutcase.



What is something a girl does with her straight friend?

It’s not anytime but this woman had red flags all over the place. Call a spade a spade. This guy sounds like a decent guy, maybe a little shy because he didn’t escalate like he probably should have but certainly no reason to friend zone his ass after 3 dates. We are told women know within seconds if they will sleep with a guy, so why the need to go out with him two more times if she’d already decided within seconds he wasn’t her type? And what exactly is her type? She’s 40 fvcking years the fvck old! She should be happy any guy asked her out! I mean it seems like she wants the drama of a 20ish yr old, she’s 40! It’s time for her to grow the hell up.

 

[espanish]

In sosuave, anytime a girl doesn’t give a guy what he wants, she is called a nutcase.



What is something a girl does with her straight friend?

trump (I am assuming your first name is not donald?)
anything that allows physical escalation. comedy = she is just sitting there enjoying the show and you are annoying her by your touching. and there are people around judging her. just a terrible set up.
in my book, a comedy show is where you take your long time girlfriend, not someone you barely know.

 

[espanish]

It’s not anytime but this woman had red flags all over the place. Call a spade a spade. This guy sounds like a decent guy, maybe a little shy because he didn’t escalate like he probably should have but certainly no reason to friend zone his ass after 3 dates. We are told women know within seconds if they will sleep with a guy, so why the need to go out with him two more times if she’d already decided within seconds he wasn’t her type? And what exactly is her type? She’s 40 fvcking years the fvck old! She should be happy any guy asked her out! I mean it seems like she wants the drama of a 20ish yr old, she’s 40! It’s time for her to grow the hell up.

Ok this, I have to agree with. she should not have wasted his time with 3 dates. and too much drama, for her age.

 

[espanish]

The only exceptions are women who had to go through the fire of raising a family.

may I ask what you mean by this? I find this part interesting because I happen to be dating a woman who has children.

 

[2Rocky]

may I ask what you mean by this? I find this part interesting because I happen to be dating a woman who has children.

1) she has to be a disciplinarian, provider and a nuturer. Exhausting.
2) she dismisses a great deal of her frivolous thinking. She doesn't do things "for show" now.
3) She is no longer the most important person in HER life.

 

[Robert28]

Women reach their prime potential at 20. There was a time when living to 35 was considered an accomplishment. 30 used to be middle age. What happens when A woman reaches 35-40 is She recycles herself. That’s why sometimes they act 20. They give themselves cougar status and their sex lives are no different from when they were 20. The only difference is more bitterness and you are getting the refurbished version.

And we all know when we buy refurbished versions of an item, it is never the same as brand new. There is always a risk it might break down and malfunction.

The myth is that somehow women become more enlightened and wiser into their 30s and 40s. No, they recycle themselves and just become more delusional to compensate for lost of youth.

If you close your eyes, you will see there is no difference interacting with a 35 year old wannabe princess and an 18 year old wannabe princess. It’s just that the entitlement of the 18 year old is at least understandable but for the 35 year old, it looks completely delusional.

35 year old single women still spend all their time watching Netflix, go on 100 tinder dates a year, and believe there is a perfect man out there somewhere who will save them from themselves just as 25 year old women do.

The only exceptions are women who had to go through the fire of raising a family.

Some countries shame women for being purposeless and acting like they are forever 21. In some countries, women feel shame for being 25 and single. Not in America. American culture encourages women to be life time cvm dumpsters.

How do I know this? When I was in college I had some flings with older women. They were no different then girls my age. But worse. Their insecurity and entitlement are on a higher level to compensate for lack of youth. And some of them had arbitrary rules that I was completely oblivious to. Basically they were like hardened cement bricks that couldnt be molded. My flings would usually last for about a month until they would get mad at me for something I had no clue about.

I had to deal with the ghosts of 25+ ex boyfriends that disappointed them the past 2-3 decades. That was too much for the younger me to handle, lol.

Eventually women become hardened in their ways and only cats can tolerate them.

Excellent analysis and spot on. I’m finding it exhausting to even converse with women 34+ anymore. They’re so bitter, so jaded, all because of dating decisions they made in the past and their chickens are literally coming home to roost. It’s hard to sell yourself to me when you’re divorced, tell me about all your drama you probably created, tell me how you DESERVE the cream of the crop guys and your expectations are impossible to meet.

 

[Jacob40]

This is pre stalker behavior. Highly recomend ypu do some reading and re evaluate your energy.
Appreciate the post though. We all learn fron these stories.

what is pre stalker? nonsense. I didn't follow her around or text her obsessively. Just text her once after she blocked me and wished her good luck. Told her it was my last message to her.

 

[Jacob40]

I don't understand why everyone is calling her a nutcase. I don't see any information that would lead to that conclusion.
OP was acting needy, obsessed with her, and borderline stalking her. Girl wasn't attracted to him because he was not doing anything sexual. He was hoping if he took her to a comedy show, she would appreciate him and let him in her pants.
He was her gay friend. comedy show is something a girl does with her gay friends. movie = gay friend
I am not saying the girl was an angel, but the conclusions you guys are making about her, I just don't see those.
OP, read my signature. This is something a girl said on a now defunct pick up forum, which has helped me a lot.

Another nonsense post talking about stalking. Didn't do any such thing nor did I text her every day or anything. I like how people start throwing the "stalking" term around when they weren't there.

 

[Jacob40]

I don't understand why everyone is calling her a nutcase. I don't see any information that would lead to that conclusion.
OP was acting needy, obsessed with her, and borderline stalking her. Girl wasn't attracted to him because he was not doing anything sexual. He was hoping if he took her to a comedy show, she would appreciate him and let him in her pants.
He was her gay friend. comedy show is something a girl does with her gay friends. movie = gay friend
I am not saying the girl was an angel, but the conclusions you guys are making about her, I just don't see those.
OP, read my signature. This is something a girl said on a now defunct pick up forum, which has helped me a lot.

If a movie and comedy show = gay friend, then what are your go-to places to take women? Someone mentioned go for smoothies on a first date, but that sounds like gay friend to me too.

 

[MrWood]

Told her it was my last message to her.

so much butthurt

 

[Jacob40]

A lot of good advice. Thanks all. I got a lot to learn. Good thing is that I've been going back at the gym to better myself. And I think one of the girls working there may like me. Why, I don't know, since she is definitely in her early 20's. I caught her looking at me a couple of times. Then she came over with one of her coworkers, walked by me a couple of times while I was on the bike. They stopped right next me a couple feet away talking about something and smiling. I looked over and she smiled but I couldn't hear what they were talking about, with the headphones and music playing in my ears. Then today, she walks over near the bike I was riding, and starts cleaning the other ones around me and taking her time. Maybe coincidence, I don't know yet.

 

[biggoal]

If a movie and comedy show = gay friend, then what are your go-to places to take women? Someone mentioned go for smoothies on a first date, but that sounds like gay friend to me too.

Do the 60 dollar dinner first date like I did last time lol.

 

[Jacob40]

Ok maybe a bit sensitive for the stalker term. Let me say it this way. Saying overtly that "this is my last text to you" is incredibly needy weird behavior to a woman.
What do you expect her to say?

"Please stay! Text me again! I cant bare to not receive your awesome texts!!

No dude. Don't work the way you think. 90% of mens problems would go away if 2 things happened. Love themselves and learn ********.

So instead of me telling her that, what should I have done? Just go silent and never reply back?