No more covert contracts, no more doing nice things and seeing if it gets me my way. I'm sure the OP has been much the same over the years. See where it's gotten him?
I look at it more as if you have to find ways to satisfy yourself if your "partner" will not and refuses to. If you, as the man, let this stand, she's going to cuck the living sh*t out of any man. I like that saying, familiarity breeds contempt. She knows after a certain point, he's not going to do anything. She knows after a certain point, she's in control. That's the worst thing the guy can do.
She's leaving him no out and she knows it.
Red pill awoke is not about confronting your wife about her not giving you enough sex and affection.
You don’t try to fix things because once you are bill pill awoke again she will do the same thing.
If your SMV is that high, get a 27 year old and keep the wife.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
The question remains, how much did he condition her to get this way? How did she start off in the marriage? These are the unknowns.
A woman cannot function and thrive in a marriage with a weak man. She must take on the masculine role in order for the family to function, and she will inevitably resent him for it. This is natural and not the fault of the woman.
We don’t know the complete story, so our advice must be tempered by this lack of information. Did he create this himself, or at least facilitate it? Will she respond positively if given a little time? Possibly.
If the OP just awoke this year, then he was complicit in her corruption. He also says he still loves her, which is another reason to consider that there is at least a possibility that the marriage can be saved.
For us to jump in and insist strongly that he either dump her or find a mistress does him a disservice at this point in time. One of the most important things I’ve ever learned in life is to walk carefully and deliberately and to avoid acting out of frustration, fear, or any other strongly motivating emotion.
What would Sun Tzu say? Know all the facts before striking. If there is no pressing time constraint, use that time to evaluate your position. I don’t see a pressing time constraint here.
A woman cannot function and thrive in a marriage with a weak man. She must take on the masculine role in order for the family to function, and she will inevitably resent him for it. This is natural and not the fault of the woman.
We don’t know the complete story, so our advice must be tempered by this lack of information. Did he create this himself, or at least facilitate it? Will she respond positively if given a little time? Possibly.
If the OP just awoke this year, then he was complicit in her corruption. He also says he still loves her, which is another reason to consider that there is at least a possibility that the marriage can be saved.
For us to jump in and insist strongly that he either dump her or find a mistress does him a disservice at this point in time. One of the most important things I’ve ever learned in life is to walk carefully and deliberately and to avoid acting out of frustration, fear, or any other strongly motivating emotion.
What would Sun Tzu say? Know all the facts before striking. If there is no pressing time constraint, use that time to evaluate your position. I don’t see a pressing time constraint here.
Regardless.
OP still has to go through the process I and some others has laid out, for good order, this will give him peace of mind and certainty through clarity of her behaviour.
And we should encourage a man to seek that path when he's at the crossroads since he has a daughter.
He has to be allowed to mold her to his current frame.
His previous frame more or less enable her.
He is responsible for it and as such he should likewise be responsible to lead now.
Granted, its an uphill task, since respect is lost.
But if she's willing and displayed it then he should be able garner respect around his 'new frame'.
However OP, if she still doesn't at least move in to the marital bedroom after a sufficient time has elapsed, then you'd need to take steps to end this union.
Set a time frame.
Sigh...man I'd like to disagree with you but I really don't think I can. You make good points.
Yes I certainly share blame with my wife for allowing her to sleep with my daughter instead of the marital bed. At the time I was happy about it. I got to sleep in a big bed without being awoke. But obviously its played a big role in our deteriorating sex life.
lamath
Master Don Juan
Holy **** did not see this, start by sleeping in the same bed.
This is not healthy
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Start by taking you some puzzy. "This will not go on any longer"
I think that's a dangerous proposition in the modern age. She cries rape, you're done. You can't force her back into the bedroom, I doubt she's really going to do that. Once they've made the decision to start sleeping with the kids instead of the husband, I don't see that going back. However, I'd like to see some suggestions if one thinks that is possible.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
If she strongly resists or forces a no or stop just stop. Once theyve weaponized and controlled sex its kinda over.
I get it and I'm onboard, trying to fix it is better than simply running out and getting a mistress. I'm sure though, that he isn't just saying something now. I'm sure he didn't let 6 months go by without approaching her about sex, bringing it up, attempting to initiate or arguing about it. When you get to the 6 month mark, that's a choice on her part, a definitive choice on her part.
A month, hey, everyone is off, busy at work, stressed, not feeling good, angry at the other person (It's not right but you could explain that away). Two, ok, someone's not happy (typical woman definition of not happy, everyone else, not so much). Three months, I'm sure there was some arguing about the topic of no sex. Four, now you're getting into the I'm done having sex with you territory. Five and six months, it's set in pretty seriously now, he's done getting sex.
You can definitely change some of these behaviors but there has to be a motivator. If you had power in the relationship, like you could take the kids or she goes penniless, you've got some negotiating power. In this modern era, you can't do either of those, so what's your bargaining chip? Loss, fear dread game? Ok, maybe but by 6 months, I'm not sure she has much interest in him anyway, so I'm sure she doesn't care much about losing him, if she's not already exploring or getting some on the side herself.
He's in a real minefield and there really isn't much he can do. A little bit of luck, stirring up some competition anxiety, defining his power at work by advancing himself, showing himself leading other men and the attention it can bring from women, I don't know, maybe but that's a big maybe.
Hey, don't get me wrong, I think it's unbelievably hot to throw her on the bed, bend her over, mush her face into the pillow and start going to town. She may too but that has just as much possibility of going the other way on you and landing you in jail, even if she enjoyed it in the moment. She gets some buyer's remorse after the fact, you could still be in trouble.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
He will be okay
Actually....I did let 6 months go by without saying anything. I was figuring things out. Why it happened. Getting into RP. And it wasn't until 3 months that I got very resentful and I started to detach. For me, its not nearly as much about the sex as it is the emotionless, affectionless marriage. But anyway, at this point I'm in a tough spot. I am giving her an opportunity to work things out but if it doesn't work out then I'll get divorce raped and move on. Such is life. I know with 100% certainty I will be able to spin plates on the other side.
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
Doesn't matter if its 6 weeks, months or even years he's been denied sex, it's a direct consequences of his previous frame, his past.
He's taking ownership of it now by trying to reframe and she's responding to it, with some cuddles, which is a good start, it doesn't turn all fairy land in a week, it takes time.
And we advice him as such, which is a wise and rational course of action for him.
So carry on it must, to soldier on for there's love yet in his heart for his wife, for his family and by his own post from her to him. These are good signs.
Let's allow him to lead her, for in the past he was sorely lacking in many areas.
If he fails and she remains the same then he should then consider other options as many of us has pointed out. But for now, let's not talk about it as it can assume a life of its own and we don't want this too.
So let's offer him solutions to repair 1st.
And if things get from worse to worst, then we will also advise him the next course of action using our collective wisdom - when he has reached that road.
Divorce rape is real and it's nothing to mess with. Look, I get
The only road that I can see here is trying some mental games to shift the power back to his side. You're not going to hit her head on and have her go your way, he doesn't have the negotiating resources necessary to do so. It has to be more of a flanking mission, so it is more subtle and without engaging her pushback mentality, which has been enabled by the situation they are both in. After you've flanked her, then you can attempt a head-on confrontation perhaps but you have to regain the mental upperhand first.
I'll be waiting for suggestions, hell, perhaps I can apply them as well.
Since you asked, I'll offer a suggestion to get the ball rolling for OP since his wife has shown interest to better their marriage.
For a man to have power he must 1st display it through his leadership, a skill set that empowers his family to aim for greater heights.
Previously I said, head to the beach, this is an example and let's use that example to explore on how he could display his leadership through empowering his wife and daughter with them feeling wanted, appreciated and being all around happier.
He could then replicate this example the same way or in other facets of his leadership.
I'll make it step by step for good order and easy understanding.
1. Gather the family for dinner.
2. Inform them that you're decided to take a trip the beach and have a BBQ, attendance is compulsory.
3. Partition out each work the wife and daughter needs do in preparation of the BBQ, prior to leaving the house.
4. The above 1 - 3 steps is where you exercise ur "head of the family" dictatorial powers. If the wife or daughter makes moves to subvert that power, brush it aside by simply saying "the family that plays together sticks together", now they have nothing to counter that.
5. From hereon only express ur leadership of empowerment.
6. Hold discussions with both wife and daughter on how to make the day trip to the beach a success.
7. Ask for suggestions, allow their imagination to flourish, encourage it as they give ideas, let them feel wanted and important.
8. As ideas flow in, pick one that YOU think amuses you most, then encourage whomever gave out that idea by asking more follow up questions, let them think on it and provide the resources - this will make a person feel needed, appreciated and all around create a good vibe.
9. Replicate No. 8 on another idea until you have sufficient 'games' for the day trip to have fun.
10. Now partition out the plan for games and entertainment (for the day trip) to ur wife and daughter, granting them powers to execute it, offering them resources, time to prepare and only when asked, ur guidance but never instruct - remember that. Allow them to take ownership of said task.
11. End.
All the above is a display of power.
Is it hard?
Or easy to accomplish?
fantastic dude, absolutely fantastic. great idea!! like the example!! going to try it out myself, I appreciate the ability to steal.
Don't worry it will work.
Because.
Spaz is a mother fvcking great man.
(I know it's irritating but I have the power to bully you azzholes into greatness).
Peace and Quiet
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.