You can if you want to word it that way. There’s leadership the more masculine a man is. It’s not something he sets out to be. It’s a natural progression of individuality.
In actuality it’s a state of being that he doesn’t really think about. A culmination of his individual traits.
Something definite, that's progress. Leadership is something guys can go out and practice and observe the effects of. Still not quite accurate though--since leaders of men can still be b1tches when it comes to women. But social dominance
is a trait that I can get behind. It holds up.
So, putting things together from your posts ITT, your definition masculinity includes:
- Social dominance
- Individuality/Ability to stand up to social pressure
- Unreactiveness
- Provisioning Potential--irrelevant for attraction, but useful if you want to do the family thing or for your own happiness
Notice that all of these traits are tangible behaviors that guys can go out and
practice. Masculinity isn't some woo woo, mysticism that you have to learn from a tribe in the jungle. If learning these things required tremendous pain on your end (and some of them did for me), then it's just because we didn't learn them efficiently, since no one bothered teaching them to you. It doesn't have to be.
Next time a guy looks to you for guidance, try telling them to practice one of these behaviors or work on building the mindset behind them and you may actually help them. But this whole, "You're close," "You don't get it," "I can't define it," abstract stuff is bullsh1t. No matter how much your buddies, who are equally vague, circle jerk you. Feel free to label me with some HR personality assessment that's somewhere between the zodiac and the Meyers Brigg if that makes you feel better.
And I'll add to our definition of masculinity:
The ability to get what you want. That includes sex for most guys. So let's not shame guys for taking definite, measurable steps to get that. And that doesn't have to involve investing years in a job he hates or going on a hero's journey or building some sick lifestyle. If you can't give him that type of advice, stand back and let people who can help him out.